Sunday, November 08, 2009
you blow a fuse zing boom, the devil cuts loose zing boom, so what's the use wow bam, of falling in love.
Then now, how are thee?
Firework night last night and it was a bit of a damp squib in more ways than one, (but less ways than three)firstly it was raining and secondly, it wasn't as good as I remember it being, I don't know if it was because there were less 'big' fireworks or the fact that they didn't do the firework display to music, I don't know. All I know is that I started to get bored after ten minutes and my legs were starting to ache, however, teh big finalé was pretty awesome.
however I did take a picture of the fireworks and the bonfire, which I've cleverly linked to the words 'Fireworks' and 'Bonfire' in the previous sentence because when I attach massive pictures to this blog it means it takes forever to get on my mobile phone. Not that I read my blog on the move I hasten to add, I was trying to look something up that I blogged about way back when but gave up when it took too long.
So what have I learned since last time? well not a right lot, I learned that Jof's not a Jew, although I think he's telling fibs.
I had a dream I was in Australia the other day and because I was moaning about the heat, Lee took me on a bus where it rains inside, only problem was it was full of spiders, which was ok because I wasn't scared but some of the girls were, not a clue who the girls actually were but they are very welcome to return to any of my dreams.
Also, did this for Lee because I was bored.....This
I watched Zombieland the other day and it's a bloody good film, very funny and and and. Go watch it yourself, I'm not Jonathan Ross.
I took this picture, I think it's a sign of things to come......Click Here
so I think I'm out of words and numbers and images to keep you amused so I'll bid you fare-do-well.
Oh yeah, I've been getting loads of spam messages, (at least the spam leaves message you fuckers) but I've added a security thing for messages now so you'll need to do that to confirm you are human, then in the message box, leave your bank details.
take care peeps
Woggzeh.
Firework night last night and it was a bit of a damp squib in more ways than one, (but less ways than three)firstly it was raining and secondly, it wasn't as good as I remember it being, I don't know if it was because there were less 'big' fireworks or the fact that they didn't do the firework display to music, I don't know. All I know is that I started to get bored after ten minutes and my legs were starting to ache, however, teh big finalé was pretty awesome.
however I did take a picture of the fireworks and the bonfire, which I've cleverly linked to the words 'Fireworks' and 'Bonfire' in the previous sentence because when I attach massive pictures to this blog it means it takes forever to get on my mobile phone. Not that I read my blog on the move I hasten to add, I was trying to look something up that I blogged about way back when but gave up when it took too long.
So what have I learned since last time? well not a right lot, I learned that Jof's not a Jew, although I think he's telling fibs.
I had a dream I was in Australia the other day and because I was moaning about the heat, Lee took me on a bus where it rains inside, only problem was it was full of spiders, which was ok because I wasn't scared but some of the girls were, not a clue who the girls actually were but they are very welcome to return to any of my dreams.
Also, did this for Lee because I was bored.....This
I watched Zombieland the other day and it's a bloody good film, very funny and and and. Go watch it yourself, I'm not Jonathan Ross.
I took this picture, I think it's a sign of things to come......Click Here
so I think I'm out of words and numbers and images to keep you amused so I'll bid you fare-do-well.
Oh yeah, I've been getting loads of spam messages, (at least the spam leaves message you fuckers) but I've added a security thing for messages now so you'll need to do that to confirm you are human, then in the message box, leave your bank details.
take care peeps
Woggzeh.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Well we were born within one hour of each other. Our mothers said we could be sister and brother. Your name is Deborah, Deborah.
Well hello there strangers.
It's been over a month since the last post and boy what an exciting month it's been! so exciting in fact that I can't remember anything about it
Well, I bought a new computer, it's a packard bell with windows vista, it's a pretty good machine, does what I need it to do, so I'm happy with it, anything is better than my old thing that served me well over the years but sometimes you just got to move on, it's weird, I got rather attached to that machine and was sad to see it go, however, once this bad boy was up and running all felings towards the old machine were vanquished.
Lee has told me some good news and I believe that the news has now trickled through to everyone so I feel safe to tell you that he's going to be a daddy, which is nice and I wish him and his missus all the best with that.
Good show to watch if you are ever bored is "OZ" it's an old show from yankie land about Ozwald penitentary and it's pretty graphic and brutal so give it a looksie.
X-Factor is back and all I know is that I hate the twin things and I'd give that Cheryl Cole one big time!
Jof (and me in a very loose way) has started a new blog thinger in which we hope that you (yes you) will write for us, the concept is simple, we started a story and want you 9yes you!) to add another paragraph and then eventually we will have great story from many peoples imagination. so go here all the details on how to log in are there, so have a fuck about with it.
Anyone watch Chuck? here's why I watch it (picture is in 3D):
I'm going fucking mental downloading shit at the moment, I got a rapidshare account and a program called Jdownloader and I'm currently downloading every film ever made, such is the power, although I got a virus yesterday because the Jdownloader thing unzips files when it downloads them and it let out a Trojan Horsey, but I've managed to get rid of that mother fucker (5 virus scans and two spyware checks later).
Been reading loads, mainly legal thrillers, all are good.
I had an illness a few weeks back, cold, cough, rubbishmness which followed me around for about ten days, that was pretty rough, don't want that again.
I'm off to Wales for the new year, staying in some one horse town with the usual crowd and a few others who have been conned into attending (if we're having a shit time, then so are you!) If anyone out there wants to come along who hasn't been confirmed already then let me know and I'll send you the details aso you can make your own arrangements, the more the merrier, or so they say.
well I'm done, I need to update this shit more often, even if I just put a mucky picture up, it'll be something.
anyway.
toodle ooh.
It's been over a month since the last post and boy what an exciting month it's been! so exciting in fact that I can't remember anything about it
Well, I bought a new computer, it's a packard bell with windows vista, it's a pretty good machine, does what I need it to do, so I'm happy with it, anything is better than my old thing that served me well over the years but sometimes you just got to move on, it's weird, I got rather attached to that machine and was sad to see it go, however, once this bad boy was up and running all felings towards the old machine were vanquished.
Lee has told me some good news and I believe that the news has now trickled through to everyone so I feel safe to tell you that he's going to be a daddy, which is nice and I wish him and his missus all the best with that.
Good show to watch if you are ever bored is "OZ" it's an old show from yankie land about Ozwald penitentary and it's pretty graphic and brutal so give it a looksie.
X-Factor is back and all I know is that I hate the twin things and I'd give that Cheryl Cole one big time!
Jof (and me in a very loose way) has started a new blog thinger in which we hope that you (yes you) will write for us, the concept is simple, we started a story and want you 9yes you!) to add another paragraph and then eventually we will have great story from many peoples imagination. so go here all the details on how to log in are there, so have a fuck about with it.
Anyone watch Chuck? here's why I watch it (picture is in 3D):
I'm going fucking mental downloading shit at the moment, I got a rapidshare account and a program called Jdownloader and I'm currently downloading every film ever made, such is the power, although I got a virus yesterday because the Jdownloader thing unzips files when it downloads them and it let out a Trojan Horsey, but I've managed to get rid of that mother fucker (5 virus scans and two spyware checks later).
Been reading loads, mainly legal thrillers, all are good.
I had an illness a few weeks back, cold, cough, rubbishmness which followed me around for about ten days, that was pretty rough, don't want that again.
I'm off to Wales for the new year, staying in some one horse town with the usual crowd and a few others who have been conned into attending (if we're having a shit time, then so are you!) If anyone out there wants to come along who hasn't been confirmed already then let me know and I'll send you the details aso you can make your own arrangements, the more the merrier, or so they say.
well I'm done, I need to update this shit more often, even if I just put a mucky picture up, it'll be something.
anyway.
toodle ooh.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
A friend in needs a friend indeed, A friend with weed is better, A friend with breasts and all the rest, A friend who's dressed in leather.
Hey Hey.
Improptu update, it's Sunday night and I'm trying to pass the time, I could eat some food but then that'd be eating for the sake of eating, besides, I've just had my tea.
So Barker is back in town and it's great to see him again, he arrived last Sunday and did a DJ set at Rehab, he was fucking good too, I didn't think I'd enjoy it, didn't want to enjoy it, it's not really my thing, you know, dum dum music, but I have to hold my hands up, I had a good time, I even started tapping my foot to the tunes at one point, which was totally out of character. Bullough was over from Morley too and Andy Chiu was in town, the usual crowd were also out so it was a cracking night all round, I left a little after 2am, but Bull and Chris stayed on 'till closing and rolled home at about 6am (apparently) needless to say Bullough had a stinking hangover the next day and looked rough when I saw him, Hannah had to get the train to Harrogate to drive him home, so I'm guessing he's used up all his brownie points now and probably still living on the sofa, nay mind, everyone had a good time, so I'm guessing it was worth it.
I've not really done anything worth mentioning this week, I played poker at Robs on Friday night and didn't win, I guess my heart wasn't in it, as I usually win if I put in a little bit of effort, nay mind, there's always next time.
Going out with Barker tonight as it's his last night in Harrogate before returning to the slums of Bath, I'm not sure what the plan is, maybe go to the quiz at the Coach and Horses, I don't know, see what happens when we get to town.
My new favourite author is Phillip M. Margolin, who writes legal thillers, similar to Grisham, so I'm happy that I've found another great vein on novels to get through, I wonder how long it would take to read every book ever written? (excluding louis de bernier because he's truly terrible).
Barker was showing me some thing he did for a Jack Daniels promotion where he had to interview Brett Anderson (lead singer from Suede) which is pretty cool, as I get star struck just watching tv, this was pretty fucking exciting for me, and quite how I would have composed myself during the interview would be a different matter, first thing I would ask is if he had Justine Frischmanns number, then press him to get Louise Weners number, maybe? I don't know. He also interviewd Carl Barratt who is the other one in that band with Pete Docherty, the Libertines. He seemed like a dick and I would have made him look like a cunt by telling him to move from the chair because I was waiting for someone famous. Cock!
I watched Tim Vine live (dvd) yesterday, it's really funny, but even I (a massive fan)found him a bit tedious after 45 minutes, still, I've managed to nick half his material and will be passing it off as my own over the next few weeks, so don't ask if I've stolen it, because I probably have.
If you haven't tried them yet, get some frosties cerial bars from the shop, they are fooking tasty and bad for you, but who gives a shit, I can whole heartedly recommend them, so keep your eye out for them next time you go shopping.
Had a very funny conversation with my dad about my 8GB memory stick, he doesn't know how you can get a movie on something so small, 'how does the film spin round in that thing?' he asked I just shook my head, then I told him that I can get about ten films on that little thing, and he was totally flabbergasted, sometimes old people can be so funny.
Well,I think that'll do for now. I've been sober for 9 months now by the way, I know you are probably getting bored of the monthly 'I've been sober for....' but fuck it, It's my blog, I realise it's also no longer a suprise as I must have been sober because I'm still alive and updating this blog, if I was drinking again then I'd be in my wooden overcoat.
Well. Definitely going now, go to go get some moolah then meet Chris.
Toodle ooh, take care peoples.
Woggzeh.
Improptu update, it's Sunday night and I'm trying to pass the time, I could eat some food but then that'd be eating for the sake of eating, besides, I've just had my tea.
So Barker is back in town and it's great to see him again, he arrived last Sunday and did a DJ set at Rehab, he was fucking good too, I didn't think I'd enjoy it, didn't want to enjoy it, it's not really my thing, you know, dum dum music, but I have to hold my hands up, I had a good time, I even started tapping my foot to the tunes at one point, which was totally out of character. Bullough was over from Morley too and Andy Chiu was in town, the usual crowd were also out so it was a cracking night all round, I left a little after 2am, but Bull and Chris stayed on 'till closing and rolled home at about 6am (apparently) needless to say Bullough had a stinking hangover the next day and looked rough when I saw him, Hannah had to get the train to Harrogate to drive him home, so I'm guessing he's used up all his brownie points now and probably still living on the sofa, nay mind, everyone had a good time, so I'm guessing it was worth it.
I've not really done anything worth mentioning this week, I played poker at Robs on Friday night and didn't win, I guess my heart wasn't in it, as I usually win if I put in a little bit of effort, nay mind, there's always next time.
Going out with Barker tonight as it's his last night in Harrogate before returning to the slums of Bath, I'm not sure what the plan is, maybe go to the quiz at the Coach and Horses, I don't know, see what happens when we get to town.
My new favourite author is Phillip M. Margolin, who writes legal thillers, similar to Grisham, so I'm happy that I've found another great vein on novels to get through, I wonder how long it would take to read every book ever written? (excluding louis de bernier because he's truly terrible).
Barker was showing me some thing he did for a Jack Daniels promotion where he had to interview Brett Anderson (lead singer from Suede) which is pretty cool, as I get star struck just watching tv, this was pretty fucking exciting for me, and quite how I would have composed myself during the interview would be a different matter, first thing I would ask is if he had Justine Frischmanns number, then press him to get Louise Weners number, maybe? I don't know. He also interviewd Carl Barratt who is the other one in that band with Pete Docherty, the Libertines. He seemed like a dick and I would have made him look like a cunt by telling him to move from the chair because I was waiting for someone famous. Cock!
I watched Tim Vine live (dvd) yesterday, it's really funny, but even I (a massive fan)found him a bit tedious after 45 minutes, still, I've managed to nick half his material and will be passing it off as my own over the next few weeks, so don't ask if I've stolen it, because I probably have.
If you haven't tried them yet, get some frosties cerial bars from the shop, they are fooking tasty and bad for you, but who gives a shit, I can whole heartedly recommend them, so keep your eye out for them next time you go shopping.
Had a very funny conversation with my dad about my 8GB memory stick, he doesn't know how you can get a movie on something so small, 'how does the film spin round in that thing?' he asked I just shook my head, then I told him that I can get about ten films on that little thing, and he was totally flabbergasted, sometimes old people can be so funny.
Well,I think that'll do for now. I've been sober for 9 months now by the way, I know you are probably getting bored of the monthly 'I've been sober for....' but fuck it, It's my blog, I realise it's also no longer a suprise as I must have been sober because I'm still alive and updating this blog, if I was drinking again then I'd be in my wooden overcoat.
Well. Definitely going now, go to go get some moolah then meet Chris.
Toodle ooh, take care peoples.
Woggzeh.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
I met you before the fall of Rome And I begged you to let me take you home You were wrong, I was right You said goodbye, I said goodnight.
Howdy peeps.
I'm writing today with a lot of sadness because this morning my dog, Bonnie, had to be put to sleep, she was old and had been very poorly (with a tumour) for about two years, she was doing OK until today when she couldn't walk and it was clear that her back legs had given up, so we took her to the vet and paid £45 to have our dog killed, may she rest in peace.
I had forgotten how upsetting it was to lose a pet, I've got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I feel really bad for no reason, I actually didn't feel this upset when my grandma died, so all in all today is pretty depressing. Still, onwards and upwards as they say.
I've been spending most of my time playing on my newly aquired PSP, I bought it from Matt's brother and it's awesome, it's been chipped (or whatever it is they do to it) so I can play games downloaded off the internet, (obviously I'm not condoning piracy, I'm just playing them to see if I like them enough to purchase the game.)
My favourite game has to be Smackdown vs Raw, but footy manager is up there as excellent, also the 621 gameboy games I downloaded to play on it is cracking too, I think 621 games is just about every gameboy game that was ever made, I'm particually enjoying Zelda because I had it on the gameboy (back int' day) and completed it and now I'm playing it again and it's like a new game, I can't remember how everything was done so it's all a new learning curve. Acers!!!!
I spoke to Barker recently and he tells me he's coming to Harrogate at the end of the month and will be pressing play on some of his cd's at the FIRE party on the 30th August, as it's a bank holiday weekend it means that if you can make it then you should come, come on, get your glad rags on and boog-a-loog till you puke.
My fish, Pudge, is still alive and swimming about like a fish does (Larry and Curly died so I went to the shop and spoke to some guy who knew what he was on about), he's a greedy little fish, always wanting more food, it even swims to the side of the tank where it's food is kept and just looks at it....hungrily, the cat does the same thing when it spots the fish swimming around.
Well, not much else to say so I'm going to go mope around for a bit and maybe play some games on my psp.
Toodle pip.
Woggzeh.
I'm writing today with a lot of sadness because this morning my dog, Bonnie, had to be put to sleep, she was old and had been very poorly (with a tumour) for about two years, she was doing OK until today when she couldn't walk and it was clear that her back legs had given up, so we took her to the vet and paid £45 to have our dog killed, may she rest in peace.
I had forgotten how upsetting it was to lose a pet, I've got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and I feel really bad for no reason, I actually didn't feel this upset when my grandma died, so all in all today is pretty depressing. Still, onwards and upwards as they say.
I've been spending most of my time playing on my newly aquired PSP, I bought it from Matt's brother and it's awesome, it's been chipped (or whatever it is they do to it) so I can play games downloaded off the internet, (obviously I'm not condoning piracy, I'm just playing them to see if I like them enough to purchase the game.)
My favourite game has to be Smackdown vs Raw, but footy manager is up there as excellent, also the 621 gameboy games I downloaded to play on it is cracking too, I think 621 games is just about every gameboy game that was ever made, I'm particually enjoying Zelda because I had it on the gameboy (back int' day) and completed it and now I'm playing it again and it's like a new game, I can't remember how everything was done so it's all a new learning curve. Acers!!!!
I spoke to Barker recently and he tells me he's coming to Harrogate at the end of the month and will be pressing play on some of his cd's at the FIRE party on the 30th August, as it's a bank holiday weekend it means that if you can make it then you should come, come on, get your glad rags on and boog-a-loog till you puke.
My fish, Pudge, is still alive and swimming about like a fish does (Larry and Curly died so I went to the shop and spoke to some guy who knew what he was on about), he's a greedy little fish, always wanting more food, it even swims to the side of the tank where it's food is kept and just looks at it....hungrily, the cat does the same thing when it spots the fish swimming around.
Well, not much else to say so I'm going to go mope around for a bit and maybe play some games on my psp.
Toodle pip.
Woggzeh.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Late last night I got an S. O. S. The fairy tale girl's in deep distress She says I don't know where I am But it's near Japan.
So hey, how are ya?
Sunday comes round so quickly, and I know I haven't blogged since the long and boring camping trip blog, I felt that I should write a few words today just to stop the inevitable comments reminding me to update.
So what? My fish Mo died less than a week after I bought him which was shit, I don't know what happened he just stopped moving and became dead, so that was a waste of £2. The other two (Larry and Curly) are still alive but they just seem to sit on the stones at the bottom of the tank and do fuck all, I don't know what's wrong with them, they might be lazy or they could be ill, so I'm going to go to the pet shop tomorrow and ask for their advice, I can see me spending a million quid on a fucking pet that cost £1.30.
Everyone seems to have swine flu at the moment and all I've got is the sniffles which I have every other day of the year anyway, Obviously I don't want to get swine flu because it's shit, but I'm not impressed with everyone else having it and thus having better facebook status' than me.
I watched that Lesbian Vampire Killers film the other night and it's shit, the jokes are OK, but if, like me, you think Horne and Corden are bellends, then it's shit, and there's hardly any lesbianism in it, which is shit. I've actually not been that disappointed with the lack of porn in a film since I was told to 'take a box of tissues' with me to Schindlers list. Obviously got my wires crossed there.
Just read some cool news that Pat Sharpe ( you know him) wants to bring back Fun House on an adult level so it could be brilliant Saturday evening television, I say it's a great idea and everyone should get behind it and join a facebook group or something to support it.Here is a recent picture of Pat and the Twins, Melanie and Martina:
I've got three teams in playoff finals on Soccer Manager tonight so I'm going to be pissed off if they all fail, I really want Aston Villa to go up because I lost in the final last season to Jofs team. Bastard.
I've found a new favourite author, last week it was Richard North Patterson, but now and think this guy will definitely stay up there in my top three is called Lorenzo Carcaterra. He wrote Sleepers which is a fantastic book, but I took a punt on him and bought a book he wrote called 'Gangster' and it reads like a dream, in fact, so far, it's fucking brilliant. The strange thing is that it's very similar to the gangster story that I started writing, which is a bit frustrating as it's already been written, but also encouraging as it show that I'm having some good ideas, just about 10 years too late!
Well. I'm bored now, so I'm going to have a quick bash on Mafia Wars of facebook, if you've not played it yet, then join my mafia, it'll make up the numbers so I don't lose every fight and you don't even have to play it again, just join my mafia and forget about it. Simple, and you'll be doing me a huge favour.
Right, Moff.
Woggzeh.
Sunday comes round so quickly, and I know I haven't blogged since the long and boring camping trip blog, I felt that I should write a few words today just to stop the inevitable comments reminding me to update.
So what? My fish Mo died less than a week after I bought him which was shit, I don't know what happened he just stopped moving and became dead, so that was a waste of £2. The other two (Larry and Curly) are still alive but they just seem to sit on the stones at the bottom of the tank and do fuck all, I don't know what's wrong with them, they might be lazy or they could be ill, so I'm going to go to the pet shop tomorrow and ask for their advice, I can see me spending a million quid on a fucking pet that cost £1.30.
Everyone seems to have swine flu at the moment and all I've got is the sniffles which I have every other day of the year anyway, Obviously I don't want to get swine flu because it's shit, but I'm not impressed with everyone else having it and thus having better facebook status' than me.
I watched that Lesbian Vampire Killers film the other night and it's shit, the jokes are OK, but if, like me, you think Horne and Corden are bellends, then it's shit, and there's hardly any lesbianism in it, which is shit. I've actually not been that disappointed with the lack of porn in a film since I was told to 'take a box of tissues' with me to Schindlers list. Obviously got my wires crossed there.
Just read some cool news that Pat Sharpe ( you know him) wants to bring back Fun House on an adult level so it could be brilliant Saturday evening television, I say it's a great idea and everyone should get behind it and join a facebook group or something to support it.Here is a recent picture of Pat and the Twins, Melanie and Martina:
I've got three teams in playoff finals on Soccer Manager tonight so I'm going to be pissed off if they all fail, I really want Aston Villa to go up because I lost in the final last season to Jofs team. Bastard.
I've found a new favourite author, last week it was Richard North Patterson, but now and think this guy will definitely stay up there in my top three is called Lorenzo Carcaterra. He wrote Sleepers which is a fantastic book, but I took a punt on him and bought a book he wrote called 'Gangster' and it reads like a dream, in fact, so far, it's fucking brilliant. The strange thing is that it's very similar to the gangster story that I started writing, which is a bit frustrating as it's already been written, but also encouraging as it show that I'm having some good ideas, just about 10 years too late!
Well. I'm bored now, so I'm going to have a quick bash on Mafia Wars of facebook, if you've not played it yet, then join my mafia, it'll make up the numbers so I don't lose every fight and you don't even have to play it again, just join my mafia and forget about it. Simple, and you'll be doing me a huge favour.
Right, Moff.
Woggzeh.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Coniston 10th - 13th July 2009
FRIDAY
"I want to do a handstand on top of Rob's car 'Teenwolf style' were the last words Matt said to me before I was picked up for the annual trip to Coniston. The weeks of preparation and excitement had finally arrived and as per usual, everyone had far too much gear to take and so the car was filled to the brim before we even set off.
The journey was a joyous as ever, with the CD that I made making the journey a proper event. A CD which is so good that Robin hasn't given it back!
It took about 2 hours to get to our destination the sun was shining and everything was perfect, the weatherman had informed us that Friday would be nice but the rest of the weekend would be pissing it down.
The tents got erected and everyone settled in, I gave my tent the once over with seam sealer (a silicon paste the waterproofs the tent seams.) We then sat around and waited for Steve to arrive which he did about and hour and a half after us, his tent was massive, and as I sat there watching him struggle to erect it, I turned to Trelly and told him that any decent person would help him do that, Trelly agreed with me and then thankfully Bradders and Paul got up to help him, I have to admit, it was close, I had visions of me getting out of my seat for a moment, but, they did the job just fine and before long Steve was settled in with a beer.
We went down to the lake and had a swim in the feezing waters, Robin turned a nice shade of blue so he got out of the lake, it was bloody cold but it was okay once you got past your knackers and started swimming around. After about an hour we all got out and went back to our tents. Trelly, Robin, Matt, Paul and myself decided to go do the walk that I did back in March along the lake side and through the woods. We walked for about 45 minutes in a southwards direction ( The question of which direction we were headed caused one hell of a pointless discussion) then we skimmed some stones and made our way back to the campsite, Matt managed to do a brilliant trip, he caught his right foot on a tree root, stumbled forward and promptly caught his left foot on a tree root, it was hilarious from where I was standing. During the walk back it got quite scary as Matt thought someone had thrown a stone at him and Trelly mentioned that he saw someone out of the corner of his eye in the woods and then Matt accused me of throwing the stone at him, I told him I didn't throw anything and Trelly backed me up by telling Matt that I hadn't thrown anything, Matt seemed content that I was innocent and hadn't thrown anything and spent the weekend thinking someone was hidden in the woods throwing stones, when, in fact, it was me that threw the offending stone.
We went back to the campsite and the goats arrived to see what food they could nick, Robin was at the shower so Bradders decided that it would be a good idea to get the goat into Robins tent, with ambitious plans of locking the goat in there to scare the shit out of Rob when he returned. The goat was content eating all our bread and going in everyones tent, eventually we had run out of food so the goat shit all over the place and then buggered off, I suppose that'll teach us to mess with goats.
Once we had eaten and Matt had had his 10th nap of the day we went into town to the pub, we stoped off at the Ship Inn and got bitten by the midges so we went into town to get a drink in the Sun Inn, I was of course only on soft drinks, but they are still overpriced which is really annoying, but that's the way it goes. We went to the Yedale and finally onto the Crown. The darts were apparently broken so we couldn't play darts, Robin put some songs on the jukebox and every single one skipped throughout, which made the terrible selection of songs sound even worse, Trelly, who wasn't drinking because of some medication realised late on in the evening that drunk people are incredibly loud and annoying, I agreed and told him, "Welcome to my world".
Eventually we went back to our campsite and sat in Steves mansion all chatting before one by one, trailing off to bed.
SATURDAY
I got up at about 7:30 and made a brew, the thing with boiling a kettle is that there is only enough water in the thing for about three cups of tea, but everyone wants to nick your hot water, it's hilarious to witness, you could even think that heating up water was a difficult task. Anyway, everyone eventualy got up and had their breakfasts and we sat around for a bit deciding what to do (while Matt had a nap), The majority wanted to stay at the campsite and do some swimming as it was a magnificently hot day, the weatherman had been wrong, and we were going to exploit this fact and enjoy the sun that we shouldn't be getting. Ha, that'll learn him! Robin, Trelly and myself decided to go on a walk to Tarn Hows, my guide book says that it's about 6 miles from the centre of Coniston, so I stupidly decided that we would walk to the start point and then do our 6 mile walk. I slapped on a load of sun cream, put on my hat and the three of us set off, before we had got to the start point I realised what a stupid idea it was not to drive to the car park, never the less, I was in a good mood and was well up for the walk, Robin managed to get the song 'Hi-Ho' stuck in my head, which was annoying, but you've always got to have some song stuck in your head at any one time, otherwise you'll go crazy.
The walk was really nice even though some of the uphill bits were a struggle and we saw a folly like structure which my guide book informs me used to house foxhounds at the turn of the century (I'm presuming they mean 19th to the 20th century), I plodded on like a professional rambler eventually arriving at the picturesque area of Tarn Hows, we stopped to eat our sandwiches and I got a raspberry ripple ice cream which was the best ice cream I've ever had, it had a real raspberry in it too, proper yum.
After about half an hour we set off back to Coniston through the woods and we stopped to look at the Tom Gill waterfall which is very impressive, over 20 foot high and made Niagra falls look like a plumbing accident. The walk back was pretty uneventful but at least it was relatively flat, the next day when we drove to Ambleside we followed the path we had walked and I realised that we had actually walked, (in technical terms)'a bloody long way' the walk was about 7-8 miles in total. We eventually got back to the campsite and told everyone about out walk, and told them that it was at least 10 miles, (with the walking distance increasing with each re-telling or any mention of walking) I went for a shower and chilled for the rest of the afternoon, Matt went for a nap after a hard morning doing nothing and at one point I had to wake him from his nap to remind him that it was time for his sleep. Bless him.
That evening saw us head straight across the fields into Coniston and thus missing out the Ship Inn, which is a shame, but it's not as good a place as it used to be back in the day.
In the Crown we got some arrows and had a game of darts with me being the greatest darts player you'll ever see, even making a three dart checkout from 58, (10, 14,double 17) I went on to win four games before getting bored and letting Matt win.
At about 10:30 the rain started and when it rains in the Lake District it really does rain, luckily I had my waterproof jacket on so I was okay, the rest of the group got a bit wet, we sat in Steves mansion and he put the heater on, everyone got dry and then we all decided to try and kill ourselves by tasting the chilli sauce that comes in the Doner Kebab pot noodle, have you tried it yet? fuck me it's hot.
Eventually everyone went to bed and I listened to the rain until about 3am then it suddenly stopped, happy times, I fell asleep.
Sunday
I got up at about 7:30 and after having a wash and cleaning my teeth, no one else was up so I took a walk around the lake and back to the tents and still no one was up, so I sat and relaxed and eventually people started stirring and before long everyone was up and about, we all wished Robin a happy birthday and everyone set about their morning rituals. It was a bit grey and overcast but it was dry, we all went to Ambleside to Daisy's and I had a full monty breakfast, (Egg, Bacon, Sausage, Mushrooms, Beans, Tomatoes, Fried Bread, Toast, Hash Browns and Black pudding and a cup of tea) and that filled me for the day, I was well and truly stuffed.
We walked around Ambleside and then went back to the campsite, four of the lads wanted to go find a bouldering place so they set off up the old man to look for it leaving Paul, Steve and myself to go for a walk up the arse end of the campsite where it really is in the middle of the woods, the horrible toilets are still there but the door was locked so Steve pissed against that, we found a few rope swings and I found a mallet. We went back to the tents and sat around chatting, eventually the others came back and informed us that they couldn't find the place they were looking for. A woman came round on her bike and asked to see our camping tickets, ( I forgot to mention earlier that when I checked in the man undercharged me, I was paying for four people for three nights but he charged me for three people for three nights, we kept it quiet but when this woman rocked up I though we were rumbled and would have to pay the extra. But, she didn't even notice the error and was content with our reciepts and so she rode off, I let out a long breath and nearly collapsed, honestly, I'd be rubbish under police questioning.
We sat around talking about everything and nothing, the way it always goes. We had our suppers and ventured out to the pubs again, Matt, Robin and me had a strange conversation about bad circulation and things you can do to thin your blood like taking aspirin or rat poison, I gasped, "Rat Poison?" and Matt said, "Yeah, my grandad took rat poison before he died" Rob and I stopped what we were doing for a second and then burst out laughing, Matt hadn't meant it the way it sounded, but it was a bloody funny moment, I guess you had to be there.
Steve got caught trying to take his pint from the Yewdale to the Crown, We didn't get to play darts, so we sat at the big table in the corner and all talked over each other, Robin ran to the Jukebox and put on some truly dreadful tunes so we left him and Matt there and went to sit outside, upon returning to the bar for another coke, I heard a local telling his mate that "the two gay boys over there", (Robin and Matt)"Have just put on the jukebox, Simply Red, Pet Shop Boys and some other shite" I got my drink and went back outside laughing my bollocks off.
We walked home at about midnight and went to bed soon after, I was knackered so I fell asleep easily, although I must have slept in a funny position because halfway through the night I woke up and couldn't feel my entire arm, it was dead, I swung my torso and my arm just swung around as if it was on a rag doll, I was a bit disturbed because I didn't know what to do, eventually I managed to get some feeling back into it and went back to sleep, I had to pack all my gear up the next day and I wan't looking forward to it, I prayed it wouldn't rain, the weather man had been so wrong so far that his forcast of Monday being nice was exactly the opposite of what I expected.
Monday
I got up just after 8am a few people were about it was a lovely morning, I couldn't be bothered buggering about too much so after I returned from the loos, I set to work packing up, I soon realised that I couldn't be bothered, but I eventually got everything packed away and in Robs car (where Matt was already having a nap), Steve wanted to prove how big his tent was and so he drove his car inside it.
Everyone took their sweet ass time to take their tents down, but I wasn't in a rush, I love it in Coniston, I was hungry though and we had decided to go try a café that we found on our walk on Saturday that's in Coniston but out of the way of where we usually venture.
The full english breakfast was very good and cheaper than Daisy's plus I could get a free refill of tea, but the sausage sandwich and bacon butties were rather expensive, so I don't know if we weill be going there again, I think we should though when you consider going to Ambleside takes up time and money (petrol and car parking fees) the price is about the same.
We left Coniston at 11am and said our goodbyes to Steve and had a steady drive back home (Matt napped most of the way), We got home just after 1pm and I was grateful to spend a long time on the toilet before having a blistering hot bath. ahh the life!
We are thinking of going back for the August bank holiday as some of the guys want to do the helvellyn walk (not me I hasten to add), so if you fancy coming (Jof and Jen, Dave and Han, (and any others who fancy it) then let me know and I'll let you know the details, you don't have to do the walking if you don't fancy it, because I certainly won't be.
Woggzeh.
"I want to do a handstand on top of Rob's car 'Teenwolf style' were the last words Matt said to me before I was picked up for the annual trip to Coniston. The weeks of preparation and excitement had finally arrived and as per usual, everyone had far too much gear to take and so the car was filled to the brim before we even set off.
The journey was a joyous as ever, with the CD that I made making the journey a proper event. A CD which is so good that Robin hasn't given it back!
It took about 2 hours to get to our destination the sun was shining and everything was perfect, the weatherman had informed us that Friday would be nice but the rest of the weekend would be pissing it down.
The tents got erected and everyone settled in, I gave my tent the once over with seam sealer (a silicon paste the waterproofs the tent seams.) We then sat around and waited for Steve to arrive which he did about and hour and a half after us, his tent was massive, and as I sat there watching him struggle to erect it, I turned to Trelly and told him that any decent person would help him do that, Trelly agreed with me and then thankfully Bradders and Paul got up to help him, I have to admit, it was close, I had visions of me getting out of my seat for a moment, but, they did the job just fine and before long Steve was settled in with a beer.
We went down to the lake and had a swim in the feezing waters, Robin turned a nice shade of blue so he got out of the lake, it was bloody cold but it was okay once you got past your knackers and started swimming around. After about an hour we all got out and went back to our tents. Trelly, Robin, Matt, Paul and myself decided to go do the walk that I did back in March along the lake side and through the woods. We walked for about 45 minutes in a southwards direction ( The question of which direction we were headed caused one hell of a pointless discussion) then we skimmed some stones and made our way back to the campsite, Matt managed to do a brilliant trip, he caught his right foot on a tree root, stumbled forward and promptly caught his left foot on a tree root, it was hilarious from where I was standing. During the walk back it got quite scary as Matt thought someone had thrown a stone at him and Trelly mentioned that he saw someone out of the corner of his eye in the woods and then Matt accused me of throwing the stone at him, I told him I didn't throw anything and Trelly backed me up by telling Matt that I hadn't thrown anything, Matt seemed content that I was innocent and hadn't thrown anything and spent the weekend thinking someone was hidden in the woods throwing stones, when, in fact, it was me that threw the offending stone.
We went back to the campsite and the goats arrived to see what food they could nick, Robin was at the shower so Bradders decided that it would be a good idea to get the goat into Robins tent, with ambitious plans of locking the goat in there to scare the shit out of Rob when he returned. The goat was content eating all our bread and going in everyones tent, eventually we had run out of food so the goat shit all over the place and then buggered off, I suppose that'll teach us to mess with goats.
Once we had eaten and Matt had had his 10th nap of the day we went into town to the pub, we stoped off at the Ship Inn and got bitten by the midges so we went into town to get a drink in the Sun Inn, I was of course only on soft drinks, but they are still overpriced which is really annoying, but that's the way it goes. We went to the Yedale and finally onto the Crown. The darts were apparently broken so we couldn't play darts, Robin put some songs on the jukebox and every single one skipped throughout, which made the terrible selection of songs sound even worse, Trelly, who wasn't drinking because of some medication realised late on in the evening that drunk people are incredibly loud and annoying, I agreed and told him, "Welcome to my world".
Eventually we went back to our campsite and sat in Steves mansion all chatting before one by one, trailing off to bed.
SATURDAY
I got up at about 7:30 and made a brew, the thing with boiling a kettle is that there is only enough water in the thing for about three cups of tea, but everyone wants to nick your hot water, it's hilarious to witness, you could even think that heating up water was a difficult task. Anyway, everyone eventualy got up and had their breakfasts and we sat around for a bit deciding what to do (while Matt had a nap), The majority wanted to stay at the campsite and do some swimming as it was a magnificently hot day, the weatherman had been wrong, and we were going to exploit this fact and enjoy the sun that we shouldn't be getting. Ha, that'll learn him! Robin, Trelly and myself decided to go on a walk to Tarn Hows, my guide book says that it's about 6 miles from the centre of Coniston, so I stupidly decided that we would walk to the start point and then do our 6 mile walk. I slapped on a load of sun cream, put on my hat and the three of us set off, before we had got to the start point I realised what a stupid idea it was not to drive to the car park, never the less, I was in a good mood and was well up for the walk, Robin managed to get the song 'Hi-Ho' stuck in my head, which was annoying, but you've always got to have some song stuck in your head at any one time, otherwise you'll go crazy.
The walk was really nice even though some of the uphill bits were a struggle and we saw a folly like structure which my guide book informs me used to house foxhounds at the turn of the century (I'm presuming they mean 19th to the 20th century), I plodded on like a professional rambler eventually arriving at the picturesque area of Tarn Hows, we stopped to eat our sandwiches and I got a raspberry ripple ice cream which was the best ice cream I've ever had, it had a real raspberry in it too, proper yum.
After about half an hour we set off back to Coniston through the woods and we stopped to look at the Tom Gill waterfall which is very impressive, over 20 foot high and made Niagra falls look like a plumbing accident. The walk back was pretty uneventful but at least it was relatively flat, the next day when we drove to Ambleside we followed the path we had walked and I realised that we had actually walked, (in technical terms)'a bloody long way' the walk was about 7-8 miles in total. We eventually got back to the campsite and told everyone about out walk, and told them that it was at least 10 miles, (with the walking distance increasing with each re-telling or any mention of walking) I went for a shower and chilled for the rest of the afternoon, Matt went for a nap after a hard morning doing nothing and at one point I had to wake him from his nap to remind him that it was time for his sleep. Bless him.
That evening saw us head straight across the fields into Coniston and thus missing out the Ship Inn, which is a shame, but it's not as good a place as it used to be back in the day.
In the Crown we got some arrows and had a game of darts with me being the greatest darts player you'll ever see, even making a three dart checkout from 58, (10, 14,double 17) I went on to win four games before getting bored and letting Matt win.
At about 10:30 the rain started and when it rains in the Lake District it really does rain, luckily I had my waterproof jacket on so I was okay, the rest of the group got a bit wet, we sat in Steves mansion and he put the heater on, everyone got dry and then we all decided to try and kill ourselves by tasting the chilli sauce that comes in the Doner Kebab pot noodle, have you tried it yet? fuck me it's hot.
Eventually everyone went to bed and I listened to the rain until about 3am then it suddenly stopped, happy times, I fell asleep.
Sunday
I got up at about 7:30 and after having a wash and cleaning my teeth, no one else was up so I took a walk around the lake and back to the tents and still no one was up, so I sat and relaxed and eventually people started stirring and before long everyone was up and about, we all wished Robin a happy birthday and everyone set about their morning rituals. It was a bit grey and overcast but it was dry, we all went to Ambleside to Daisy's and I had a full monty breakfast, (Egg, Bacon, Sausage, Mushrooms, Beans, Tomatoes, Fried Bread, Toast, Hash Browns and Black pudding and a cup of tea) and that filled me for the day, I was well and truly stuffed.
We walked around Ambleside and then went back to the campsite, four of the lads wanted to go find a bouldering place so they set off up the old man to look for it leaving Paul, Steve and myself to go for a walk up the arse end of the campsite where it really is in the middle of the woods, the horrible toilets are still there but the door was locked so Steve pissed against that, we found a few rope swings and I found a mallet. We went back to the tents and sat around chatting, eventually the others came back and informed us that they couldn't find the place they were looking for. A woman came round on her bike and asked to see our camping tickets, ( I forgot to mention earlier that when I checked in the man undercharged me, I was paying for four people for three nights but he charged me for three people for three nights, we kept it quiet but when this woman rocked up I though we were rumbled and would have to pay the extra. But, she didn't even notice the error and was content with our reciepts and so she rode off, I let out a long breath and nearly collapsed, honestly, I'd be rubbish under police questioning.
We sat around talking about everything and nothing, the way it always goes. We had our suppers and ventured out to the pubs again, Matt, Robin and me had a strange conversation about bad circulation and things you can do to thin your blood like taking aspirin or rat poison, I gasped, "Rat Poison?" and Matt said, "Yeah, my grandad took rat poison before he died" Rob and I stopped what we were doing for a second and then burst out laughing, Matt hadn't meant it the way it sounded, but it was a bloody funny moment, I guess you had to be there.
Steve got caught trying to take his pint from the Yewdale to the Crown, We didn't get to play darts, so we sat at the big table in the corner and all talked over each other, Robin ran to the Jukebox and put on some truly dreadful tunes so we left him and Matt there and went to sit outside, upon returning to the bar for another coke, I heard a local telling his mate that "the two gay boys over there", (Robin and Matt)"Have just put on the jukebox, Simply Red, Pet Shop Boys and some other shite" I got my drink and went back outside laughing my bollocks off.
We walked home at about midnight and went to bed soon after, I was knackered so I fell asleep easily, although I must have slept in a funny position because halfway through the night I woke up and couldn't feel my entire arm, it was dead, I swung my torso and my arm just swung around as if it was on a rag doll, I was a bit disturbed because I didn't know what to do, eventually I managed to get some feeling back into it and went back to sleep, I had to pack all my gear up the next day and I wan't looking forward to it, I prayed it wouldn't rain, the weather man had been so wrong so far that his forcast of Monday being nice was exactly the opposite of what I expected.
Monday
I got up just after 8am a few people were about it was a lovely morning, I couldn't be bothered buggering about too much so after I returned from the loos, I set to work packing up, I soon realised that I couldn't be bothered, but I eventually got everything packed away and in Robs car (where Matt was already having a nap), Steve wanted to prove how big his tent was and so he drove his car inside it.
Everyone took their sweet ass time to take their tents down, but I wasn't in a rush, I love it in Coniston, I was hungry though and we had decided to go try a café that we found on our walk on Saturday that's in Coniston but out of the way of where we usually venture.
The full english breakfast was very good and cheaper than Daisy's plus I could get a free refill of tea, but the sausage sandwich and bacon butties were rather expensive, so I don't know if we weill be going there again, I think we should though when you consider going to Ambleside takes up time and money (petrol and car parking fees) the price is about the same.
We left Coniston at 11am and said our goodbyes to Steve and had a steady drive back home (Matt napped most of the way), We got home just after 1pm and I was grateful to spend a long time on the toilet before having a blistering hot bath. ahh the life!
We are thinking of going back for the August bank holiday as some of the guys want to do the helvellyn walk (not me I hasten to add), so if you fancy coming (Jof and Jen, Dave and Han, (and any others who fancy it) then let me know and I'll let you know the details, you don't have to do the walking if you don't fancy it, because I certainly won't be.
Woggzeh.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I could be wrong, I could be right, I could be black, I could be white, I could be right, I could be wrong, I could be white, I could be black.
Now the people of the world. Unite! Hold hands! and read my blog!
Actually this blog is rather impromptu and I don't know why I'm doing it. There is celebrity cash in the attic (With Nick Hancock) on television and I could quite easily watch that. But I think I'll waste ten minutes and then go settle down and watch bargain hunt.
I'm super excited about Camping next weekend, I don't know why, I'm not normally this excited until the night before, but for some reason I'm positively pissing my pants with glee this time around. It'll probably be shit, or it will rain all weekend, or I won't be able to go or something pants like that, and I'll be really disappointed. But at the moment I'm a happy clappy fatty chappie.
I spent £80 on a pair of trousers, Jacket and shoes last week and although I love my purchases. I have a bit of a hollow feeling in my gut that I spent EIGHTY FUCKING QUID on something as boring as clothes. If I'd have bought a computer or spent it on booze and pissed it all up the wall then I would be chuffed at spending my money wisely, but no, I bought clothes, and it didn't stop there, I went and spent £16 at Matalan t'other day too. Crazy days.
I'm still really pleased with Spotify, if you don't use it or know what it is then look it up, I'm not your only source of information you know!
It's fantastic and I've found some really fucking cheesy shit on here that I thought had been lost in the midst of time (Manhattan Transfer or Twisted Sister anybody?) So yeah, get yourself over to Spotify and enjoy.
Soccer Manager is taking up at least 25 hours of each day, I've taken over some really pants teams, (Ebbsfleet, Farsley Celtic and Northwich Victoria) this is all because I took over Crewe Alexandra ages ago and went on to win a cup and also promotion in my first season, seriously exciting times in my life!
Right I'm going to go now, my book has just landed on the mat. I'm using play trade a lot now, it's cheap and easy and as I can't be arsed to walk to the library it suits me fine. Besides, if I order a book into the library, then that can take a week [to arrive] and costs 60p. I can buy a book on playtrade and have it delivered to my door three days later for £2. I think the extra £1.60 is worth it.
Right people. I think that'll do now. Bargain hunt is on and I've nothing more to write. I'll do a big ol' Coniston blog when I get back.
Take care
Woggzeh.
Actually this blog is rather impromptu and I don't know why I'm doing it. There is celebrity cash in the attic (With Nick Hancock) on television and I could quite easily watch that. But I think I'll waste ten minutes and then go settle down and watch bargain hunt.
I'm super excited about Camping next weekend, I don't know why, I'm not normally this excited until the night before, but for some reason I'm positively pissing my pants with glee this time around. It'll probably be shit, or it will rain all weekend, or I won't be able to go or something pants like that, and I'll be really disappointed. But at the moment I'm a happy clappy fatty chappie.
I spent £80 on a pair of trousers, Jacket and shoes last week and although I love my purchases. I have a bit of a hollow feeling in my gut that I spent EIGHTY FUCKING QUID on something as boring as clothes. If I'd have bought a computer or spent it on booze and pissed it all up the wall then I would be chuffed at spending my money wisely, but no, I bought clothes, and it didn't stop there, I went and spent £16 at Matalan t'other day too. Crazy days.
I'm still really pleased with Spotify, if you don't use it or know what it is then look it up, I'm not your only source of information you know!
It's fantastic and I've found some really fucking cheesy shit on here that I thought had been lost in the midst of time (Manhattan Transfer or Twisted Sister anybody?) So yeah, get yourself over to Spotify and enjoy.
Soccer Manager is taking up at least 25 hours of each day, I've taken over some really pants teams, (Ebbsfleet, Farsley Celtic and Northwich Victoria) this is all because I took over Crewe Alexandra ages ago and went on to win a cup and also promotion in my first season, seriously exciting times in my life!
Right I'm going to go now, my book has just landed on the mat. I'm using play trade a lot now, it's cheap and easy and as I can't be arsed to walk to the library it suits me fine. Besides, if I order a book into the library, then that can take a week [to arrive] and costs 60p. I can buy a book on playtrade and have it delivered to my door three days later for £2. I think the extra £1.60 is worth it.
Right people. I think that'll do now. Bargain hunt is on and I've nothing more to write. I'll do a big ol' Coniston blog when I get back.
Take care
Woggzeh.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen Pour myself a cup of ambition.
Hello.
Why do people all think that they can do a decent impersonation of Elvis Presley, when, actually, nobody sounds any good while attempting this impersination, in fact, nearly everyone I've heard trying to sing like Elvis ends up sounding like they are singing whilst having a shit! so give up now. Shameless fools.
I don't know why Lee is so interested in an update because I've not done anything to warrant an update. Sorry dude! I saw Bullough yesterday which was nice.
On Saturday I went out with Matt and Paul and went to the usual pubs but decided to go try out Lure bar, which is a strange place, I'll reserve judgement until someone else tells me what I should think of the place, the toilets scared the shit out of me, (not literally, but I would have been in the right place should they have done) you see there are mirrors facing you and mirrors beind you and so you see your face looking back at you a million times, (you know what I mean, I don't need to explain this phenomena) but the worst part is that the piss trough (I'm sure it has a real name like elongated urinal or something, but every bloke will know what I mean when I say piss trough). Well the piss trough is built into the wall and so with the mirrors doing their thing, I wasn't sure if the trough was on my left or right! You see my problem, luckily I managed to piss in the right place, but I could imagine going in after a few beers and pissing all over the wall.
After there we rushed up to Carringtons, sadly this is probably the best night club in Harrogate which tells you a lot about Harrogate, but non-the-less in we went. I was robbed at the bar, being charged £3 for a pint of coke! I had the last laugh though, I went onto drinking halves. Ha!!!!
Anyway, I suppose here is as good as any to make my appeal, as I get all sorts of weird and wonderful people reading this drivel so here goes. On Saturday night in Carringtons, there was a gorgeous female roughly 25-28 years old, just less than 6 foot tall, slim body and red hair, she also looks Czech or Russian, you know the look the Eastern bloc women have, she wasn't American, put it that way. anyway, if any of you know a lass who fits this description and was in Carringtons on Saturday night, then please let me know because I want to marry her. She was gorgeous, needless to say that by the time I built up the courage to talk to her, she buggered off to the loo, then went dancing with her female friend (black hair and kind of cute). So I missed that opportunity, Matt missed the whole she-bang, because he was dancing with Paul, (Matt's idea of dancing is to wave his arms and walk backwards and Paul, well, it's difficult, you can tell he knows all the cool dance moves because he's seen them in the movies, but he can't execute them to save his life) happily I sat back and drank my fizzy pop.
I think that brings us up to date, I'm not writing any more, I hope that will satisfy Lee. I'm off Camping next month so there will be a blog when I return from there, I might blog beforehand, but I'm not making promises.
Oh, and a reminder, if you know the red head I'm talking about, PLEASE let me know, There's a drink in it for you.
Woggzeh
Why do people all think that they can do a decent impersonation of Elvis Presley, when, actually, nobody sounds any good while attempting this impersination, in fact, nearly everyone I've heard trying to sing like Elvis ends up sounding like they are singing whilst having a shit! so give up now. Shameless fools.
I don't know why Lee is so interested in an update because I've not done anything to warrant an update. Sorry dude! I saw Bullough yesterday which was nice.
On Saturday I went out with Matt and Paul and went to the usual pubs but decided to go try out Lure bar, which is a strange place, I'll reserve judgement until someone else tells me what I should think of the place, the toilets scared the shit out of me, (not literally, but I would have been in the right place should they have done) you see there are mirrors facing you and mirrors beind you and so you see your face looking back at you a million times, (you know what I mean, I don't need to explain this phenomena) but the worst part is that the piss trough (I'm sure it has a real name like elongated urinal or something, but every bloke will know what I mean when I say piss trough). Well the piss trough is built into the wall and so with the mirrors doing their thing, I wasn't sure if the trough was on my left or right! You see my problem, luckily I managed to piss in the right place, but I could imagine going in after a few beers and pissing all over the wall.
After there we rushed up to Carringtons, sadly this is probably the best night club in Harrogate which tells you a lot about Harrogate, but non-the-less in we went. I was robbed at the bar, being charged £3 for a pint of coke! I had the last laugh though, I went onto drinking halves. Ha!!!!
Anyway, I suppose here is as good as any to make my appeal, as I get all sorts of weird and wonderful people reading this drivel so here goes. On Saturday night in Carringtons, there was a gorgeous female roughly 25-28 years old, just less than 6 foot tall, slim body and red hair, she also looks Czech or Russian, you know the look the Eastern bloc women have, she wasn't American, put it that way. anyway, if any of you know a lass who fits this description and was in Carringtons on Saturday night, then please let me know because I want to marry her. She was gorgeous, needless to say that by the time I built up the courage to talk to her, she buggered off to the loo, then went dancing with her female friend (black hair and kind of cute). So I missed that opportunity, Matt missed the whole she-bang, because he was dancing with Paul, (Matt's idea of dancing is to wave his arms and walk backwards and Paul, well, it's difficult, you can tell he knows all the cool dance moves because he's seen them in the movies, but he can't execute them to save his life) happily I sat back and drank my fizzy pop.
I think that brings us up to date, I'm not writing any more, I hope that will satisfy Lee. I'm off Camping next month so there will be a blog when I return from there, I might blog beforehand, but I'm not making promises.
Oh, and a reminder, if you know the red head I'm talking about, PLEASE let me know, There's a drink in it for you.
Woggzeh
Friday, May 22, 2009
If you got dreams in your heart, why don't you share them with me? and if dreams don't come true I'll make sure that you're nightmares are through.
Hey peeps.
So it's Friday evening and I'm struggling to find things to do. So I thought I would enlighten you all to an emphatic effervescent enigmatic update, or none of the above and just keep it as a normal update.
So what's up?
Well, Prison Break has finished, ended, all over,au revoir, is no more apart from the two hour special which is on Wednesday night at 10pm. the show had gone a little stale and so I guess ending it was the best thing to do, although it was a fantastic episode which nearly made me cry like a baby, I won't spoil it for you if you've not seen it, but T-Bag ends up back in Jail and everyone else is exonerated, and Michael and Sarah have a baby boy, but Michael's brain tumour kills him off, very sad indeed.
Last week was Eurovision and I thought it was great, England came fifth and Norway won with a song called 'Fairytale' which is good and I have the song on MP3 if anyone wants it for themselves.
I also got the new Green Day album and the Eminem album, both are pretty good and worth a listen, I suggest you do just that.
My novel is coming on nicely I've written a whole 1000 words this weeks, it's funny that I can always find something else to do when I sit down to write some more, even though I know where I am going with the story I just cant be arsed to write it, I need one of those programs that writes down the words when you speak to the screen, you know what I mean?
Doctor has given me more pills to take in order to keep my blood sugars at an acceptable level, but I doubt my pancreas will ever work properly again so I've got to accept that I will have to deal with having diabetes, which isn't the worst thing in the world to deal with, it's not as bad as AIDS and I definitely don't want that again!!!!.
Well, I think I've wasted enough of your time and mine, I'll let you go back to your lives and I'll go find something to do other than write my novel.
Good Morrow.
Woggzeh
So it's Friday evening and I'm struggling to find things to do. So I thought I would enlighten you all to an emphatic effervescent enigmatic update, or none of the above and just keep it as a normal update.
So what's up?
Well, Prison Break has finished, ended, all over,au revoir, is no more apart from the two hour special which is on Wednesday night at 10pm. the show had gone a little stale and so I guess ending it was the best thing to do, although it was a fantastic episode which nearly made me cry like a baby, I won't spoil it for you if you've not seen it, but T-Bag ends up back in Jail and everyone else is exonerated, and Michael and Sarah have a baby boy, but Michael's brain tumour kills him off, very sad indeed.
Last week was Eurovision and I thought it was great, England came fifth and Norway won with a song called 'Fairytale' which is good and I have the song on MP3 if anyone wants it for themselves.
I also got the new Green Day album and the Eminem album, both are pretty good and worth a listen, I suggest you do just that.
My novel is coming on nicely I've written a whole 1000 words this weeks, it's funny that I can always find something else to do when I sit down to write some more, even though I know where I am going with the story I just cant be arsed to write it, I need one of those programs that writes down the words when you speak to the screen, you know what I mean?
Doctor has given me more pills to take in order to keep my blood sugars at an acceptable level, but I doubt my pancreas will ever work properly again so I've got to accept that I will have to deal with having diabetes, which isn't the worst thing in the world to deal with, it's not as bad as AIDS and I definitely don't want that again!!!!.
Well, I think I've wasted enough of your time and mine, I'll let you go back to your lives and I'll go find something to do other than write my novel.
Good Morrow.
Woggzeh
Friday, May 15, 2009
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing, Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin.
Now then.
It's been a while since my last update and so I thought I'd treat you to a new one.
Well, as you might have guess I've not been upto a right lot so I'll tell you about how I'm doing after all that medical shit I've been through. Well I'm still off the alcohol which is cool, but my blood glucose levels are still way hight so I'm on pills to lower that, hopefully it will only be tempoary while my Pancreas sorts itself out, but if I'm honest, I think I'll be stuck with diabetes for the rest of my life, never mind, it could be worse!
Underbelly season two has finished and I'm already chomping at the bit for season three, they have been bloody brilliant so far and I love a bit of true life gangster shit.
I've read just about every book I've ever wanted to read and so I'm now devouring Frederick Forsyth, who so far is fucking brilliant, especially his short stories which have blown me away with their excellence, makes writes like Grisham, Patterson, Dan Brown et al, look rather amateurish in comaparison, so that gives me hope when it comes to my own writings, of which I'm not doing too bad (considering getting 'Willoughby' self-published if I can get it finished in time for xmas, then that's some cheap and easy gifts for family. 'Here, I wrote a book'), if only my computer would stop re-setting itself randomly, I might be able to get some work done! I'm guessing it's a power pack problem, or maybe I'm over heating, I've got the side open, and it's still doing it, so I need suggestions, preferably better than Trellies suggestion of 'Turn it off then it wont reset itself'.
well, short and sweet is better than long and bitter I guess and I have oither things I need to be getting on with. So I'll try to update a bit more in the coming week(s)
Catch you later.
It's been a while since my last update and so I thought I'd treat you to a new one.
Well, as you might have guess I've not been upto a right lot so I'll tell you about how I'm doing after all that medical shit I've been through. Well I'm still off the alcohol which is cool, but my blood glucose levels are still way hight so I'm on pills to lower that, hopefully it will only be tempoary while my Pancreas sorts itself out, but if I'm honest, I think I'll be stuck with diabetes for the rest of my life, never mind, it could be worse!
Underbelly season two has finished and I'm already chomping at the bit for season three, they have been bloody brilliant so far and I love a bit of true life gangster shit.
I've read just about every book I've ever wanted to read and so I'm now devouring Frederick Forsyth, who so far is fucking brilliant, especially his short stories which have blown me away with their excellence, makes writes like Grisham, Patterson, Dan Brown et al, look rather amateurish in comaparison, so that gives me hope when it comes to my own writings, of which I'm not doing too bad (considering getting 'Willoughby' self-published if I can get it finished in time for xmas, then that's some cheap and easy gifts for family. 'Here, I wrote a book'), if only my computer would stop re-setting itself randomly, I might be able to get some work done! I'm guessing it's a power pack problem, or maybe I'm over heating, I've got the side open, and it's still doing it, so I need suggestions, preferably better than Trellies suggestion of 'Turn it off then it wont reset itself'.
well, short and sweet is better than long and bitter I guess and I have oither things I need to be getting on with. So I'll try to update a bit more in the coming week(s)
Catch you later.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
I'll get over you.. I know I will I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
Hello one and all, all and one.
Thought I would update as I can now confirm that I have one avid reader who enjoys my blog (only took three years, thanks Janine!).
SO I've not been doing a right lot, still hiding behind my doctors note and rather work shy, I've been advised by the job centre to wangle another week sick leave then I'll qualify for tax credits and some money for going back to work, it sounded dodgy but the woman in the J.C said it was okay and I shouldn't miss out on the free money for the sake of a week, just got to get my doctor to sign me off, it shouldn't be too difficult as I'm seeing my doctor for three different problems, and if she says that I can't have any more time off sick then I'll throw a tantrum and threaten to start drinking again, that'll learn her good and proper.
I've been writing and doing a lot of reading, finished about 6 books since I last posted, the only one I didn't like was the Bourne Identity, I found it too long winded with some really good high points followed by some really really REALLY boring low points, but that's how it goes, also, it's nothing like the movie which is annoying as the movie is crackers.
I've been writing my own stuff too, theres my Gangster novel which I'm sad to say has gone stale, my Prison story which is going well and I'm really having fun with that and I'm working on a police/drama/thriller book called 'Willoughby' which I'm quite excited about, although not excited enough to actually write the bloody thing, I'm hoping it will write itself because everytime I sit down to knock out a chapter or two I always find something to distract me and then it doesn't get written. Very frustrating.
It was Pauls birthday yesterday he is now 30 and very old, we went out to a few pubs, I stayed on Coke (against my doctors orders, too much sugar and all.) it was an OK night and I came home, read for a while then I couldn't sleep so I got up and had a crazy conversation on Facebook with Janine who was cold and not asleep for some strange reason, I never actually asked her why she was awake, maybe because she's pregnant, do pregnant women sleep? I don't know, I've never been a pregnant woman so I'm just guessing.
It's Easter weekend and we should all rejoice because Easter has something to do with Jesus and God and the Bible (I think) and I think we are supposed to do something religious. Is Palm Sunday what I think it is?, if it isn't then I'm going to adapt it to my way of thinking.
I can't be arsed to write any more because I want to get back to writing my novel which will then deviate to me checking Facebook and Soccer Manager, So I'll bid you farewell, have a nice weekend.
Woggzeh.
Thought I would update as I can now confirm that I have one avid reader who enjoys my blog (only took three years, thanks Janine!).
SO I've not been doing a right lot, still hiding behind my doctors note and rather work shy, I've been advised by the job centre to wangle another week sick leave then I'll qualify for tax credits and some money for going back to work, it sounded dodgy but the woman in the J.C said it was okay and I shouldn't miss out on the free money for the sake of a week, just got to get my doctor to sign me off, it shouldn't be too difficult as I'm seeing my doctor for three different problems, and if she says that I can't have any more time off sick then I'll throw a tantrum and threaten to start drinking again, that'll learn her good and proper.
I've been writing and doing a lot of reading, finished about 6 books since I last posted, the only one I didn't like was the Bourne Identity, I found it too long winded with some really good high points followed by some really really REALLY boring low points, but that's how it goes, also, it's nothing like the movie which is annoying as the movie is crackers.
I've been writing my own stuff too, theres my Gangster novel which I'm sad to say has gone stale, my Prison story which is going well and I'm really having fun with that and I'm working on a police/drama/thriller book called 'Willoughby' which I'm quite excited about, although not excited enough to actually write the bloody thing, I'm hoping it will write itself because everytime I sit down to knock out a chapter or two I always find something to distract me and then it doesn't get written. Very frustrating.
It was Pauls birthday yesterday he is now 30 and very old, we went out to a few pubs, I stayed on Coke (against my doctors orders, too much sugar and all.) it was an OK night and I came home, read for a while then I couldn't sleep so I got up and had a crazy conversation on Facebook with Janine who was cold and not asleep for some strange reason, I never actually asked her why she was awake, maybe because she's pregnant, do pregnant women sleep? I don't know, I've never been a pregnant woman so I'm just guessing.
It's Easter weekend and we should all rejoice because Easter has something to do with Jesus and God and the Bible (I think) and I think we are supposed to do something religious. Is Palm Sunday what I think it is?, if it isn't then I'm going to adapt it to my way of thinking.
I can't be arsed to write any more because I want to get back to writing my novel which will then deviate to me checking Facebook and Soccer Manager, So I'll bid you farewell, have a nice weekend.
Woggzeh.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Coniston 21-03-09
With the very real threat of some fool suggesting that everyone should go walking up the Old Man of Coniston, I swung into action very early and on January 4th 2009 part one of my plan was put into action, three weeks later I was released from hospital to execute part two, which was to be able to hide behind a doctors note for long enough, claiming I'm too poorly to do such a trek, that the fell walking event had either passed or been abandoned.
Alas, Yesterday, Dave [Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Titch], Rob, Matt, Paul, Mike and Bradders did their walk up the Old Man and I managed to not do it. Instead I managed to wangle a bloody good day out walking around Coniston, on flat lands (well, it got a bit steep in one place), with the sun in my face (burning my fat, bald, head), I can't really tell you much about the day that the lads had, but it would go something like this: went upwards > summited > went downwards. And until one of them writes their own blog that's the way it'll stay, so here is how my day went.
I waved the lads off at 11am and thought, "Fuck Me, what now?" all week I had been telling everyone that I'd be fine, I'll have loads to do, but in reality, I thought that I'd be fucked for things to do after ten minutes and have to go sit in a cafe or the pub, so I went to the Tourist Information place and picked up some leaflets, then I walked down to the Bluebird Cafe and ordered a cup of tea (£1.45) I sat in the sun and read my leaflets which were encouraging me to spend my hard earned money on boat trips that looked shit.
One 'event' that I fancied trying was something called 'Jumping Jenny' there was a picture of a pretty lass below the words, I looked all over but couldn't find it, I guess that because we are only a week into tourist season then most of the attractions haven't started yet.
After my luke warm brew, I walked down a little track that takes you no - fucking - where, I turned around and found myself back at the Bluebird cafe (the track incidently, is the same one I took everyone on later when we all met up, it hadn't changed, I just wanted them to feel the same disappointment that I felt).
I thought I would walk back to town and think about what to do when on my way back I saw a sign pointing out the footpath to Torver, "I'll have a bit of that" I thought to myself and jumped over the little stye and set off across the fields eventually realising that I was heading towards Coniston Hall campsite, that's when I decided to just walk and walk through Torver woods and go as far as I dare before turning around to meet the others in town, I had a great walk, it was so peaceful and quiet and I kept sitting down on a rock (not the same rock each time I must add) to enjoy my surroundings, if I'd taken my sandwiches and a bottle of water then it would have been perfect.
I eventually got as far as I could and checked my watch, it was time to turn back and go to town, I managed to get to the Ship Inn a few minutes after they had closed so I had to walk to town for a drink (I was really thirsty by now), I got to the Black Bull [called Alan] and ordered a pint of coke with ice (£2.40) I sat outside and started drinking my coke, about 10 seconds later I had an empty glass so I went to the newsagents and got a paper, then went to the Yewdale for another pint of coke with ice and a slice (£2.80, a fucking rip off, especially when the lager is £2.70), I sat outside and started reading my paper when some ignorant bastard starts honking his car horn, I turn to glare at the fucker and see that it's Rob and everyone else, they've done the walk in about 3 hours, I was impressed.
I jumped in Pauls car and we went back to the Bluebird cafe where we watched a boat being launched, listened to some bloke with a dog collar go on about some fucker called Jesus who would save the rowers in a storm and he prayed and we ignored and they prayed some more and we ignored some more and they prayed harder and we ingored them harder, eventually getting bored with the tedium so I took them on the track that goes nowhere to show them what nowhere looks like.
After fish and chips we went to our digs, the Holly How Youth Hostel, we eventually got checked in after making the check-in as confusing as we possibly could, with some paying by card, others by cash, him paying for him, me paying for you, two having discount cards, the others having to pay a £3 supplimentary fee, write your name and address here and somewhere in the midst of the commotion I was entered into a free prize draw to win a car!
The room was fine and dandy and about as much as you'd expect really, we made our beds up, and I went for a shit, when I came back the room was locked and Matt was stood at the door looking rather peterbed, it turns out that Paul had locked the door and buggered off for a shower with a key (the second key being inside the room) so when Paul got back from his shower he found 6 tired people arguing over who had the bloody door key!
We hit town at about 6.30 pm, everyone was knackered and really wanted their beds, but it was way too early, so we went to the Yewdale, then to the Ship Inn (2.40 for a coke) and we watched Wipeout on the BBC, with everyone in the room joining in with the 'ooh's' and 'ahh's' and the laughter, when that finished and Robin had managed to insult a Ginger bloke in the room.
We went back to town in the pitch blackness and settled into the Crown where I stuck to coke and everyone else stuck to getting pissed, Paul got some darts from the bar and this caused mayhem, drunk people don't add up very well, Bradbury pressing buttons on the score machine doesn't help matters either but most of all, the biggest problem was that none of us can play darts! Apart from Matt's smashing double eleven, I think most games went down to double one and then a 'nearest to bull' contest, as the night wore on, everyone was getting more tired and ready for bed, Robin was getting nicely drunk and started a game of darts with Paul, having got bored of 301 and 501, Rob decided that the best way to get more excitement out of the game was to start playing 901, we managed to leave halfway through and the darts players decided that 901 was, in fact, a shit idea, and came with us too.
Back in the room we all had the usual giggles, the room was fucking dark, Paul claimed he's never been in a room so dark, I suggested to Trelly to 'turn the light on to see how dark it is' and to his credit, he actually turned the light on. Bless.
I managed to get a crap nights sleep, due to (1) being all fizzed up with Coke, (2) an inability to sleep that I've had for a week and (3) people snoring, most notably Paul who currently hold the world record for loudest snore at 872 decibels.
Morning came and as usual with leaving day it was a boring sombre affair, we went to Daisy's and I had the 8 items breakfast (no Black Pudding and no Fried Bread), that filled me up then we went back to the car and Mike drove us all home.
Notable mentions that I couldn't be arsed writing about -
1) My pants falling out of the bottom of my trousers.
2) Spacker woman who threatened to throw Vodka over Bradder if he chatted her up.
3) Matt spotting Ken Hom.
4) Trelly finding graffiti that he did 11 years ago.
5) The Alien space ship that I'm convinced was real aliens, there's no other explination.
Thank you for reading.
Woggzeh
Alas, Yesterday, Dave [Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Titch], Rob, Matt, Paul, Mike and Bradders did their walk up the Old Man and I managed to not do it. Instead I managed to wangle a bloody good day out walking around Coniston, on flat lands (well, it got a bit steep in one place), with the sun in my face (burning my fat, bald, head), I can't really tell you much about the day that the lads had, but it would go something like this: went upwards > summited > went downwards. And until one of them writes their own blog that's the way it'll stay, so here is how my day went.
I waved the lads off at 11am and thought, "Fuck Me, what now?" all week I had been telling everyone that I'd be fine, I'll have loads to do, but in reality, I thought that I'd be fucked for things to do after ten minutes and have to go sit in a cafe or the pub, so I went to the Tourist Information place and picked up some leaflets, then I walked down to the Bluebird Cafe and ordered a cup of tea (£1.45) I sat in the sun and read my leaflets which were encouraging me to spend my hard earned money on boat trips that looked shit.
One 'event' that I fancied trying was something called 'Jumping Jenny' there was a picture of a pretty lass below the words, I looked all over but couldn't find it, I guess that because we are only a week into tourist season then most of the attractions haven't started yet.
After my luke warm brew, I walked down a little track that takes you no - fucking - where, I turned around and found myself back at the Bluebird cafe (the track incidently, is the same one I took everyone on later when we all met up, it hadn't changed, I just wanted them to feel the same disappointment that I felt).
I thought I would walk back to town and think about what to do when on my way back I saw a sign pointing out the footpath to Torver, "I'll have a bit of that" I thought to myself and jumped over the little stye and set off across the fields eventually realising that I was heading towards Coniston Hall campsite, that's when I decided to just walk and walk through Torver woods and go as far as I dare before turning around to meet the others in town, I had a great walk, it was so peaceful and quiet and I kept sitting down on a rock (not the same rock each time I must add) to enjoy my surroundings, if I'd taken my sandwiches and a bottle of water then it would have been perfect.
I eventually got as far as I could and checked my watch, it was time to turn back and go to town, I managed to get to the Ship Inn a few minutes after they had closed so I had to walk to town for a drink (I was really thirsty by now), I got to the Black Bull [called Alan] and ordered a pint of coke with ice (£2.40) I sat outside and started drinking my coke, about 10 seconds later I had an empty glass so I went to the newsagents and got a paper, then went to the Yewdale for another pint of coke with ice and a slice (£2.80, a fucking rip off, especially when the lager is £2.70), I sat outside and started reading my paper when some ignorant bastard starts honking his car horn, I turn to glare at the fucker and see that it's Rob and everyone else, they've done the walk in about 3 hours, I was impressed.
I jumped in Pauls car and we went back to the Bluebird cafe where we watched a boat being launched, listened to some bloke with a dog collar go on about some fucker called Jesus who would save the rowers in a storm and he prayed and we ignored and they prayed some more and we ignored some more and they prayed harder and we ingored them harder, eventually getting bored with the tedium so I took them on the track that goes nowhere to show them what nowhere looks like.
After fish and chips we went to our digs, the Holly How Youth Hostel, we eventually got checked in after making the check-in as confusing as we possibly could, with some paying by card, others by cash, him paying for him, me paying for you, two having discount cards, the others having to pay a £3 supplimentary fee, write your name and address here and somewhere in the midst of the commotion I was entered into a free prize draw to win a car!
The room was fine and dandy and about as much as you'd expect really, we made our beds up, and I went for a shit, when I came back the room was locked and Matt was stood at the door looking rather peterbed, it turns out that Paul had locked the door and buggered off for a shower with a key (the second key being inside the room) so when Paul got back from his shower he found 6 tired people arguing over who had the bloody door key!
We hit town at about 6.30 pm, everyone was knackered and really wanted their beds, but it was way too early, so we went to the Yewdale, then to the Ship Inn (2.40 for a coke) and we watched Wipeout on the BBC, with everyone in the room joining in with the 'ooh's' and 'ahh's' and the laughter, when that finished and Robin had managed to insult a Ginger bloke in the room.
We went back to town in the pitch blackness and settled into the Crown where I stuck to coke and everyone else stuck to getting pissed, Paul got some darts from the bar and this caused mayhem, drunk people don't add up very well, Bradbury pressing buttons on the score machine doesn't help matters either but most of all, the biggest problem was that none of us can play darts! Apart from Matt's smashing double eleven, I think most games went down to double one and then a 'nearest to bull' contest, as the night wore on, everyone was getting more tired and ready for bed, Robin was getting nicely drunk and started a game of darts with Paul, having got bored of 301 and 501, Rob decided that the best way to get more excitement out of the game was to start playing 901, we managed to leave halfway through and the darts players decided that 901 was, in fact, a shit idea, and came with us too.
Back in the room we all had the usual giggles, the room was fucking dark, Paul claimed he's never been in a room so dark, I suggested to Trelly to 'turn the light on to see how dark it is' and to his credit, he actually turned the light on. Bless.
I managed to get a crap nights sleep, due to (1) being all fizzed up with Coke, (2) an inability to sleep that I've had for a week and (3) people snoring, most notably Paul who currently hold the world record for loudest snore at 872 decibels.
Morning came and as usual with leaving day it was a boring sombre affair, we went to Daisy's and I had the 8 items breakfast (no Black Pudding and no Fried Bread), that filled me up then we went back to the car and Mike drove us all home.
Notable mentions that I couldn't be arsed writing about -
1) My pants falling out of the bottom of my trousers.
2) Spacker woman who threatened to throw Vodka over Bradder if he chatted her up.
3) Matt spotting Ken Hom.
4) Trelly finding graffiti that he did 11 years ago.
5) The Alien space ship that I'm convinced was real aliens, there's no other explination.
Thank you for reading.
Woggzeh
Monday, March 16, 2009
I've been roaming around, I've been looking down at all I see, painted faces fill the places I can reach, you that I could use somebody
Thought I'd better write something as I'm getting really bad at updating.
So I'm Okay I guess, no more pancreas problems, I'm off to see my consultant on the 26th and hopefully he'll have good news, been having a few pains but nothing debilitating, I can walk to town and back, but that's about my limit before I feel fucked and get a lot of stomach pains, I actually feel a bit guilty because I don't look like I've got anything wrong with me and it's too easy to say, "I'm in pain" because I don't have to prove it and can't prove it, well I could probably squeeze out a few tears, but, you know what I mean? I'm actually worried people are going to start thinking I'm faking it and hiding behind a doctors letter just because I can, well I'm not, I'm honestly not!
I'm still sober it's been two and a half months now and although it doesn't sound like much, I'm quite proud of myself, it's been a lot easier than I imagined it would be, you should all try go without alcohol for a month (and don't choose Febuary because it's the shortest month) you'll find you sleep a hell of a lot better at the very least plus you'll save a few quid.
So how are you guys?
I'm going to Consiton on Saturday, the lads are going to walk up the Old Man and I'm going to mooch around Coniston, I plan to look at some of the 'tourist' things that I've not seen yet and might even go on the gondola boat thinger, then grab some lunch in the Crown or Yewdale and a pint of coke or two and read my book.
Speaking of books I've finished 7 books this year so far, I only read one book while I was in hospital and now I'm kicking myself that I could have bashed out at least ten, anyway I can whole heartedly reccomend:
The Partner - John Grisham
The Summons - John Grisham
The Street Lawyer - John Grisham
The Innocent Man - John Grisham
Skipping Christmas - John Grisham
Underbelly - John Silvester and Andrew Rule
The Sound of Laughter - Peter Kay
I've just stared reading anothr John Grisham book called 'the Appeal' and it's promising to be a cracker, so I'm happy (can you guess who my favourite author is?).
I've also had time to do some writing too, I've been working on my gangster novel and a prison novel which have been fun, but I wrote chapter one of the prison novel on my laptop and when I send it over to my desktop computer, it doesn't open, so I'm going to have to type it all out again so I can have the whole story in one place, bit of a shitter but there you go.
I've also been digging up my back garden because I want to grow some veg, but that's about as much as I have to tell you on that as it's not that interesting and I can't plant anything yet as the weather is due to get colder, so that'll fuck up everything.
That'll do, catch you all later.
Woggzeh.
So I'm Okay I guess, no more pancreas problems, I'm off to see my consultant on the 26th and hopefully he'll have good news, been having a few pains but nothing debilitating, I can walk to town and back, but that's about my limit before I feel fucked and get a lot of stomach pains, I actually feel a bit guilty because I don't look like I've got anything wrong with me and it's too easy to say, "I'm in pain" because I don't have to prove it and can't prove it, well I could probably squeeze out a few tears, but, you know what I mean? I'm actually worried people are going to start thinking I'm faking it and hiding behind a doctors letter just because I can, well I'm not, I'm honestly not!
I'm still sober it's been two and a half months now and although it doesn't sound like much, I'm quite proud of myself, it's been a lot easier than I imagined it would be, you should all try go without alcohol for a month (and don't choose Febuary because it's the shortest month) you'll find you sleep a hell of a lot better at the very least plus you'll save a few quid.
So how are you guys?
I'm going to Consiton on Saturday, the lads are going to walk up the Old Man and I'm going to mooch around Coniston, I plan to look at some of the 'tourist' things that I've not seen yet and might even go on the gondola boat thinger, then grab some lunch in the Crown or Yewdale and a pint of coke or two and read my book.
Speaking of books I've finished 7 books this year so far, I only read one book while I was in hospital and now I'm kicking myself that I could have bashed out at least ten, anyway I can whole heartedly reccomend:
The Partner - John Grisham
The Summons - John Grisham
The Street Lawyer - John Grisham
The Innocent Man - John Grisham
Skipping Christmas - John Grisham
Underbelly - John Silvester and Andrew Rule
The Sound of Laughter - Peter Kay
I've just stared reading anothr John Grisham book called 'the Appeal' and it's promising to be a cracker, so I'm happy (can you guess who my favourite author is?).
I've also had time to do some writing too, I've been working on my gangster novel and a prison novel which have been fun, but I wrote chapter one of the prison novel on my laptop and when I send it over to my desktop computer, it doesn't open, so I'm going to have to type it all out again so I can have the whole story in one place, bit of a shitter but there you go.
I've also been digging up my back garden because I want to grow some veg, but that's about as much as I have to tell you on that as it's not that interesting and I can't plant anything yet as the weather is due to get colder, so that'll fuck up everything.
That'll do, catch you all later.
Woggzeh.
Monday, February 09, 2009
On days like these when skies are blue and fields are green I look around and think about what might have been .......
Hello
So I thought I'd write a little something to update you on my condition, because I know you are all worried sick.
I went to see my consultant on Thursday and he was really impressed with my blood test results, which show that I am getting better at an extremely impressive speed, although I am still very anaemic but I should get over that in a couple of months, I'm still having lots of pains in and around my stomach which are normal apparently, and it is possible that where my pancreas used to be there are now lots of cysts growing, (cysts being the doctors word so he doesn't panic you into the fact you might have cancer) most of the cysts are benign, but it's always best to keep a close check on these things, they can also prove fatal if they grow too big and explode, so best have that checked, I'm going for an ultra scan sometime soon, I'll let you know the results.
The consultant also reiterated how close I came to dying, and told me that when he first saw me he was extremely worried, what with the pancreitis and jaundice and massive amounts of blood coming from the places that you shouldn't be losing blood from, he showed me his original notes and had written "N.M.H" which stands for "Not Much Hope" [for survival] so basically I was on morphene to keep me comfortable during what was expected to be my last few days alive, I was supposed to be in Intensive Care too, but they didn't have any beds spare, so I was in the nice ward with all the other nutters (the bloke opposite me had an imaginary dog that slept under his bed).
So close to death and yet I survived, I suppose I should actualy do something with my life now, I can't drink alcohol, and I thought that'd be for a year or so, but I've been reading up on my condition, (Severe Acute Pancreatitis) and there is a good chance I'll get it again, and other people have said, "I had my first alcoholic drink 3 years after suffering pancreatitis and a couple of days later I was back in hospital with it" so I think I'm fucked forever on that one, never mind, it's only alcohol, it's not worth dying over, although I don't get why alcohol is singled out as I'm allowed fizzy pop! I can't eat fatty foods because I can't digest it, I have some pills to help aid digestion (called Creon) but they make me poorly so I can't take them, apparently, I will be able to eat most foods withing 12-24 months. I can't eat spicy foods, so no curries, which makes me sad, but I did buy a Chicken and Mushroom pot noodle the other day with the thought in my head that if that makes me feel poorly then I may as well buy myself an 8 pack of beer, because life isn't worth living, luckily I ate the pot noodle and felt fine, well I say fine, I feel bloated and horrible for an hour or so after everything I eat (even a cup of tea makes me feel a bit poorly because of the milk), this is supposedly normal, but can also be blamed on the cysts that could be growing inside me and putting pressure on my stomach.
So basically, I'll probably live, but I'm still fucked, I've a long way to go and am still in constant pain, which the doctor can't do much about, I've been taken off the mega pain killers because too many are not good for you and have to take paracetamol for any pain now, which does help a little, I've stopped losing weight as rapidly as I was doing, (lost 2 stone in a month) but I'm not putting any weight on, which the doctor wants me to do.
Anyway, I think that brings us up to date (ish). I hope you are all well and good, speak to you soon.
Woggzeh.
So I thought I'd write a little something to update you on my condition, because I know you are all worried sick.
I went to see my consultant on Thursday and he was really impressed with my blood test results, which show that I am getting better at an extremely impressive speed, although I am still very anaemic but I should get over that in a couple of months, I'm still having lots of pains in and around my stomach which are normal apparently, and it is possible that where my pancreas used to be there are now lots of cysts growing, (cysts being the doctors word so he doesn't panic you into the fact you might have cancer) most of the cysts are benign, but it's always best to keep a close check on these things, they can also prove fatal if they grow too big and explode, so best have that checked, I'm going for an ultra scan sometime soon, I'll let you know the results.
The consultant also reiterated how close I came to dying, and told me that when he first saw me he was extremely worried, what with the pancreitis and jaundice and massive amounts of blood coming from the places that you shouldn't be losing blood from, he showed me his original notes and had written "N.M.H" which stands for "Not Much Hope" [for survival] so basically I was on morphene to keep me comfortable during what was expected to be my last few days alive, I was supposed to be in Intensive Care too, but they didn't have any beds spare, so I was in the nice ward with all the other nutters (the bloke opposite me had an imaginary dog that slept under his bed).
So close to death and yet I survived, I suppose I should actualy do something with my life now, I can't drink alcohol, and I thought that'd be for a year or so, but I've been reading up on my condition, (Severe Acute Pancreatitis) and there is a good chance I'll get it again, and other people have said, "I had my first alcoholic drink 3 years after suffering pancreatitis and a couple of days later I was back in hospital with it" so I think I'm fucked forever on that one, never mind, it's only alcohol, it's not worth dying over, although I don't get why alcohol is singled out as I'm allowed fizzy pop! I can't eat fatty foods because I can't digest it, I have some pills to help aid digestion (called Creon) but they make me poorly so I can't take them, apparently, I will be able to eat most foods withing 12-24 months. I can't eat spicy foods, so no curries, which makes me sad, but I did buy a Chicken and Mushroom pot noodle the other day with the thought in my head that if that makes me feel poorly then I may as well buy myself an 8 pack of beer, because life isn't worth living, luckily I ate the pot noodle and felt fine, well I say fine, I feel bloated and horrible for an hour or so after everything I eat (even a cup of tea makes me feel a bit poorly because of the milk), this is supposedly normal, but can also be blamed on the cysts that could be growing inside me and putting pressure on my stomach.
So basically, I'll probably live, but I'm still fucked, I've a long way to go and am still in constant pain, which the doctor can't do much about, I've been taken off the mega pain killers because too many are not good for you and have to take paracetamol for any pain now, which does help a little, I've stopped losing weight as rapidly as I was doing, (lost 2 stone in a month) but I'm not putting any weight on, which the doctor wants me to do.
Anyway, I think that brings us up to date (ish). I hope you are all well and good, speak to you soon.
Woggzeh.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Hector was the first of the gang with a gun in his hand and the first to do time the first of the gang to die. Oh my.
Well I didn't want to let January go by without a post did I.
As most of you know, I have been gravely poorly (hours away from death, no joke) and spent a lot of time in hospital I was let out last Monday and was given the OK on Thursday, but Friday and today (Saturday) I have been really poorly and I fear I might have to be readmitted to hospital, we shall see how it goes tomorrow and I will call the doctor on Monday to see what he suggests.
well, I'm not in a mood or feel like doing a massive update, I will do when I feel better, I just didn't want to not have a blog entry for January 2009 even though I said I'd stop doingthe updates, I thought I might as well keep it up at least once a month, especially when I've got things to tell you.
take care
Woggzeh.
As most of you know, I have been gravely poorly (hours away from death, no joke) and spent a lot of time in hospital I was let out last Monday and was given the OK on Thursday, but Friday and today (Saturday) I have been really poorly and I fear I might have to be readmitted to hospital, we shall see how it goes tomorrow and I will call the doctor on Monday to see what he suggests.
well, I'm not in a mood or feel like doing a massive update, I will do when I feel better, I just didn't want to not have a blog entry for January 2009 even though I said I'd stop doingthe updates, I thought I might as well keep it up at least once a month, especially when I've got things to tell you.
take care
Woggzeh.
Monday, December 29, 2008
And now, the end is near, and so I face the final curtain. My friend, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, of which Im certain.
Hello people of the world.
We are finally here the last ever Woggzeh's World blog, so without further ado, let's crack on.
So we are in that uneasy week between Christmas and New Year, I don't know what it is but it's always a bit of a wasted week, most of the time you don't know what day it is or what to do, some people are back at work but don't know why and can't be bothered, but all of us are starting to wonder what the fuck we have eaten or drunk to make us feel so shitty, I know what I'm talking about too because I have constant tummy ache and I have no appetite but I know I have to eat something or I'll be sick and if I eat something then I'll probably be sick, it's a gasto-something but I think it comes from too many pickled onions and gherkins or chocolate or, I don't know some fucking muck that you've thrown down your neck because 'it was there'.
So did you all have a nice Christmas? I had a good time, Chris Barker was back in town and so I went out with him and the rest of the gang, Bullough was over from Leeds too so that was ace.
We went to the Old Bell Tavern ( a pub which I hate because all the beer they serve is crap) so after a few pints some of us left and went to Spoonies where I saw loads of people I know and gave the usual pleasantries, I also saw Andy Chiu which was great, he's all well and good, then we went to Monteys to meet up with the ponces who stayed in the Old Bell Tavern ("you know this was the first pub to ban smoking, rah rah rah, aren't we amazing, look at me drink my fucking nonce drink out of a vase") Bullough was dragged off home early, but the rest of us stayed to see the midnight hour and sing and dance to Christmas tunes, and Fiona even hugged me and agreed to put things behind us, so that's nice.
Christmas day was mental, my niece was round and she had shitloads of presents, I got socks and pants and a few John Grisham books that I had asked for, but Abigail got everything and more, and she was really cool about it too, she would open a present and then play with it, or if it was a book, she wanted you to read it to her before she opened the next present which I thought was cool, needless to say, she was still opening presents on boxing day!
The next few days have just trundled along, eating and drinking and slightly panicking about what to do for New Years Eve, as nobody has any plans (or money) so I'm pretty sure it'll be a jaunt round Harrogate, same old same old, "happy new year, I'm bored, let's go home." Maybe it'll be a great new year, but somehow I doubt it.
I always get the trots for new year too, I guess it's all the food (again, I've not stopped eating pickled stuff) and usually for Christmas I ask for some immodium because I don't want to get to 11:59:48 seconds on new years eve and turn to Trelly and scream, "ME GUTS!!!!" and then turn white and start sweating and stand bolt upright with my arse cheeks clenched so tight I could crack walnuts between them as the countdown for new year starts "Ten" tears running down my face "Nine" Grimmacing "Eight" holding my stomach "Seven" praying, "Six" Breathing heavy, "Five" panic, "Four" hopping from foot to foot "Three" denial, 'no no no' "Two...One.. Happy New Year" as everyone starts jumping and whooping and hugging, the pains go and I feel relief because I've managed to hold it in, this happens every year, and I still don't know why I go out and play the "will I/wont I, shit meself game" every fucking year, but there we are, I do and I don't. (if you get what I mean)
Well I think that'll do, that brings us up to date, Jof has started msn-ing me, it's been lovely talking to you all over the last two and three quarter years, but it's time to go, move on to pastures new, so all the best for 2009 everybody, I hope it's better than 2008.
Woggzeh
We are finally here the last ever Woggzeh's World blog, so without further ado, let's crack on.
So we are in that uneasy week between Christmas and New Year, I don't know what it is but it's always a bit of a wasted week, most of the time you don't know what day it is or what to do, some people are back at work but don't know why and can't be bothered, but all of us are starting to wonder what the fuck we have eaten or drunk to make us feel so shitty, I know what I'm talking about too because I have constant tummy ache and I have no appetite but I know I have to eat something or I'll be sick and if I eat something then I'll probably be sick, it's a gasto-something but I think it comes from too many pickled onions and gherkins or chocolate or, I don't know some fucking muck that you've thrown down your neck because 'it was there'.
So did you all have a nice Christmas? I had a good time, Chris Barker was back in town and so I went out with him and the rest of the gang, Bullough was over from Leeds too so that was ace.
We went to the Old Bell Tavern ( a pub which I hate because all the beer they serve is crap) so after a few pints some of us left and went to Spoonies where I saw loads of people I know and gave the usual pleasantries, I also saw Andy Chiu which was great, he's all well and good, then we went to Monteys to meet up with the ponces who stayed in the Old Bell Tavern ("you know this was the first pub to ban smoking, rah rah rah, aren't we amazing, look at me drink my fucking nonce drink out of a vase") Bullough was dragged off home early, but the rest of us stayed to see the midnight hour and sing and dance to Christmas tunes, and Fiona even hugged me and agreed to put things behind us, so that's nice.
Christmas day was mental, my niece was round and she had shitloads of presents, I got socks and pants and a few John Grisham books that I had asked for, but Abigail got everything and more, and she was really cool about it too, she would open a present and then play with it, or if it was a book, she wanted you to read it to her before she opened the next present which I thought was cool, needless to say, she was still opening presents on boxing day!
The next few days have just trundled along, eating and drinking and slightly panicking about what to do for New Years Eve, as nobody has any plans (or money) so I'm pretty sure it'll be a jaunt round Harrogate, same old same old, "happy new year, I'm bored, let's go home." Maybe it'll be a great new year, but somehow I doubt it.
I always get the trots for new year too, I guess it's all the food (again, I've not stopped eating pickled stuff) and usually for Christmas I ask for some immodium because I don't want to get to 11:59:48 seconds on new years eve and turn to Trelly and scream, "ME GUTS!!!!" and then turn white and start sweating and stand bolt upright with my arse cheeks clenched so tight I could crack walnuts between them as the countdown for new year starts "Ten" tears running down my face "Nine" Grimmacing "Eight" holding my stomach "Seven" praying, "Six" Breathing heavy, "Five" panic, "Four" hopping from foot to foot "Three" denial, 'no no no' "Two...One.. Happy New Year" as everyone starts jumping and whooping and hugging, the pains go and I feel relief because I've managed to hold it in, this happens every year, and I still don't know why I go out and play the "will I/wont I, shit meself game" every fucking year, but there we are, I do and I don't. (if you get what I mean)
Well I think that'll do, that brings us up to date, Jof has started msn-ing me, it's been lovely talking to you all over the last two and three quarter years, but it's time to go, move on to pastures new, so all the best for 2009 everybody, I hope it's better than 2008.
Woggzeh
Sunday, December 21, 2008
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, Just like the ones I used to know, Where the treetops glisten, and children listen To hear sleigh bells in the snow
There's nothing more Christmassy than a bit of Porn.... (click thumbnail for full size)
Hello people, Merry Christmas and all that jazz, I hope you are all well and good and..and...and, well and, without further ado, lets proceed to the now annual event that is the Woggzeh's World Christmas Awards 2008, roll out the red carpets, put on your glad rags, get a drink and sit yourself down because the first award is:
Best Independant Blog 2008:
This award naturally goes to Joffers blog "Arrow Towers" it no longer gets updated but he won the award back in March when he wrote this " How I know Colin Mills" it was well written, totally brilliant and it was about my favourite subject, so well done Joffrey you are our fisrt award winner.
Best Blog Of The Year 2008:
This award, like last years award goes to the briliantly miserable Charlie Brooker, his blog "Comment is Free" is fantastic as is his other blog, "Screenburn" his hatred towards the world and anyone in it makes compelling reading every Monday and Saturday.
Best Columnist of the Year 2008:
This goes to Piers Morgan, most people ahte the bloke but I fucking love him, he's honest, he's a c**t and you know where you stand with him, shake his hand and he'll shake yours, talk to him kindly and he'll be kind back, slag him off and you'll taste his venom, simple as that. The sad part of this award is that you need to get the Mail on Sunday to read his column/diary in Live magazine, but his sport blog is available online.
(softcore) Pornstar of the year 2008:
Alexandra Simwise should have won this award last year but I didn't have a sofcore/hardcore event, so I just went with the first girl I could remember, anyway, I've felt bad about that decision ever since and so here is her award, (if she wants to come and collect it then that'll be acers) you can also read her blog and look at her pictures if you go to her myspace page.
I'd love her to get Myspace and Facebook mixed up so she sends me an invite to "come on myface"
(Hardcore) Pornstar Of The Year 2008:
I couldn't actually think of anyone deserving, so I'm going to double up this award and make it a Lifetime achievement award aswell, and so it goes to Silvia Saint, (picture is safe for work), although she retired from porn in 2001, she is still fucking ace!
Best Comedy Television Show Of The Year 2008:
Sadly this year the award goes to an American sit-com that I've been watching for a couple of years now and I still find it hilarious, week in week out, it's called "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" it's about 4 friends, Charlie, Mac, Dennis and Dee, who run a bar and are the most stupid fuckers every to walk the Earth, great writing, well acted and well worth a looksie.
Best Television Drama Of The Year 2008:
Another non-English winner, this award goes to "Underbelly", the Australian gangster show based on true events, it was fan-fucking-tastic and I urge you all to watch it if you get the opportunity, everyone loves a gangster film, so go watch this 13 part series.
Film Of The Year 2008:
Everyone will disagree with this, but it's my award ceremony so I can do it, so I'm going to award this to "In Bruges" a film with Colin Farrel and Brendan Gleeson and it's just brilliant, so go watch it, because if I write about it, then I might spoil it, but Midgets are fucking funny!
Place of the Year 2008:
PRAGUE! Enough said.
Well that brings us to the end of the Woggzeh's World Christmas Awards 2008, I hope you all have a great Christmas and I'll be back next Sunday with the final ever Woggzeh's Blog.
take care, and I'll leave you with another Christmas picture:
Hello people, Merry Christmas and all that jazz, I hope you are all well and good and..and...and, well and, without further ado, lets proceed to the now annual event that is the Woggzeh's World Christmas Awards 2008, roll out the red carpets, put on your glad rags, get a drink and sit yourself down because the first award is:
Best Independant Blog 2008:
This award naturally goes to Joffers blog "Arrow Towers" it no longer gets updated but he won the award back in March when he wrote this " How I know Colin Mills" it was well written, totally brilliant and it was about my favourite subject, so well done Joffrey you are our fisrt award winner.
Best Blog Of The Year 2008:
This award, like last years award goes to the briliantly miserable Charlie Brooker, his blog "Comment is Free" is fantastic as is his other blog, "Screenburn" his hatred towards the world and anyone in it makes compelling reading every Monday and Saturday.
Best Columnist of the Year 2008:
This goes to Piers Morgan, most people ahte the bloke but I fucking love him, he's honest, he's a c**t and you know where you stand with him, shake his hand and he'll shake yours, talk to him kindly and he'll be kind back, slag him off and you'll taste his venom, simple as that. The sad part of this award is that you need to get the Mail on Sunday to read his column/diary in Live magazine, but his sport blog is available online.
(softcore) Pornstar of the year 2008:
Alexandra Simwise should have won this award last year but I didn't have a sofcore/hardcore event, so I just went with the first girl I could remember, anyway, I've felt bad about that decision ever since and so here is her award, (if she wants to come and collect it then that'll be acers) you can also read her blog and look at her pictures if you go to her myspace page.
I'd love her to get Myspace and Facebook mixed up so she sends me an invite to "come on myface"
(Hardcore) Pornstar Of The Year 2008:
I couldn't actually think of anyone deserving, so I'm going to double up this award and make it a Lifetime achievement award aswell, and so it goes to Silvia Saint, (picture is safe for work), although she retired from porn in 2001, she is still fucking ace!
Best Comedy Television Show Of The Year 2008:
Sadly this year the award goes to an American sit-com that I've been watching for a couple of years now and I still find it hilarious, week in week out, it's called "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" it's about 4 friends, Charlie, Mac, Dennis and Dee, who run a bar and are the most stupid fuckers every to walk the Earth, great writing, well acted and well worth a looksie.
Best Television Drama Of The Year 2008:
Another non-English winner, this award goes to "Underbelly", the Australian gangster show based on true events, it was fan-fucking-tastic and I urge you all to watch it if you get the opportunity, everyone loves a gangster film, so go watch this 13 part series.
Film Of The Year 2008:
Everyone will disagree with this, but it's my award ceremony so I can do it, so I'm going to award this to "In Bruges" a film with Colin Farrel and Brendan Gleeson and it's just brilliant, so go watch it, because if I write about it, then I might spoil it, but Midgets are fucking funny!
Place of the Year 2008:
PRAGUE! Enough said.
Well that brings us to the end of the Woggzeh's World Christmas Awards 2008, I hope you all have a great Christmas and I'll be back next Sunday with the final ever Woggzeh's Blog.
take care, and I'll leave you with another Christmas picture:
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Whoa, black betty (bam-A-lam) whoa, black betty (bam-A-lam)
Hello, sorry it's late, but I've been so poorly that I actually died, went to heaven, caused too much trouble that I got sent to hell, caused too much trouble there and got sent back to Earth as a miracle survivor of the 'illness'.
So how are you all? if you are well then pat yourself on the back.
If you have done all your Christmas shopping then pat yourself on the back also, I've not done any yet and I'm going up to town later with my twenty pound note and going to try do the lot, I'm also hoping for a Greggs B.L.T because I've not had one in years and they are fucking tasty, in fact I might start with one of them, pointless shopping on an empty stomach, so that leaves me with about £17.50 to buy presents, Woolworth vouchers are out the question this year but I might pop in and see what they have left, hopefully some popuri, or if worst comes to worst I can buy some cheap perfume and some pencil shavings.
I had a crazy dream and I don't know if I heard this story some place or my mind made it up, so maybe you can help, it's about Barry the brown nosed reindeer and basically he runs directly behind Rudolph but he's a bit faster than old red nose so when Rudolph stops suddenly, poor old Barry goes crashing up Rudolphs arese and earning himself a brown nose, does that ring a bell to anyone?
So on Saturday I went across to Morley to Bulloughs Xmas party (if anyone can explain why it cost me £5.20 to get from Harrogate to Morley but £7.50 to get from Morley to Harrogate then I'd apreciate an answer)
it was a good party, Hannah put some food on which was very nice and I like nibbles alot, they are quick easy and you can eat shit loads, I was actually wolfing the sprouts more than anything, (they later came back to haunt me, bad smells) but they were there to be eaten and I hate seeing a good sprout go to waste, People arrived and people left, we played a game called Buzz, which involves being fastest to answer the questions, it was a pretty stupid game because everyone else had obviously played it before and knew the answers, so I came second in both the games I played, but I'm claiming a moral victory because I've never played before so I couldn't cheat.
I kipped on the sofa which was a very comfy nights sleep, and it was amazing at soaking up my urine after an accident (kidding), in the morning I had to get the train home and I had to sit backwards on the fucking train, now I hate going backwards it always makes me feel shitty and this ride was no exception, luckily I got to Harrogate before doing a technicolour yawn all over the carriage, I walked home from town and phoned Jof because I had money on my phone, like in the way if you give an alcoholic money he'll go buy alcohol or give money to a drug addict he'll go buy drugs, put money on my phone and I'll invariably ring Jof, strange.
I arrived home and felt abit shitty, I'd had a cold and a bit of a cough for a couple of days, so I guessed it was all related, I went upstairs and threw my guts up, I got a right nasty headache and had a cold sweat, I went to sleep for a few hours then got up and I wished I hadn't, I had ear ache, headache, cough, cold, I was freezing but roasting, I wasn't a well boy, my headache was a weird one too, I would cough then get this excruciating pain in my head that was very similar to the migraines I used to suffer as a boy, but I would cough and the headache would last about 15 minutes then go and then about an hour later I would cough again and repeat the process, the worst one was just before Top Gear, I actually fell to my knees rolled in a little ball and cried in pain, I also had a nosebleed from it, such was the pressure in my head, which panicked me into thinking I had a tumour, anyway, I don't (at least I hope I don't), I went to bed at 10:30pm and slept until 2pm Monday, which is not like me, I gradually got better during Monday and I feel right as rain now, but it was possibly the worst virus I've ever had, So watch out if you start getting a sore throat, cough, ear ache and a headache, just go to bed, go to sleep and wait for death.
NEXT WEEK ON WOGGZEH'S WORLD.........It's the Woggzeh's World Blog Awards 2008, if you feel you have some candidates you'd like to see get a mention or be in contention of winning, then let me know before next Saturday, when the votes will be counted and verified.
Woggzeh
So how are you all? if you are well then pat yourself on the back.
If you have done all your Christmas shopping then pat yourself on the back also, I've not done any yet and I'm going up to town later with my twenty pound note and going to try do the lot, I'm also hoping for a Greggs B.L.T because I've not had one in years and they are fucking tasty, in fact I might start with one of them, pointless shopping on an empty stomach, so that leaves me with about £17.50 to buy presents, Woolworth vouchers are out the question this year but I might pop in and see what they have left, hopefully some popuri, or if worst comes to worst I can buy some cheap perfume and some pencil shavings.
I had a crazy dream and I don't know if I heard this story some place or my mind made it up, so maybe you can help, it's about Barry the brown nosed reindeer and basically he runs directly behind Rudolph but he's a bit faster than old red nose so when Rudolph stops suddenly, poor old Barry goes crashing up Rudolphs arese and earning himself a brown nose, does that ring a bell to anyone?
So on Saturday I went across to Morley to Bulloughs Xmas party (if anyone can explain why it cost me £5.20 to get from Harrogate to Morley but £7.50 to get from Morley to Harrogate then I'd apreciate an answer)
it was a good party, Hannah put some food on which was very nice and I like nibbles alot, they are quick easy and you can eat shit loads, I was actually wolfing the sprouts more than anything, (they later came back to haunt me, bad smells) but they were there to be eaten and I hate seeing a good sprout go to waste, People arrived and people left, we played a game called Buzz, which involves being fastest to answer the questions, it was a pretty stupid game because everyone else had obviously played it before and knew the answers, so I came second in both the games I played, but I'm claiming a moral victory because I've never played before so I couldn't cheat.
I kipped on the sofa which was a very comfy nights sleep, and it was amazing at soaking up my urine after an accident (kidding), in the morning I had to get the train home and I had to sit backwards on the fucking train, now I hate going backwards it always makes me feel shitty and this ride was no exception, luckily I got to Harrogate before doing a technicolour yawn all over the carriage, I walked home from town and phoned Jof because I had money on my phone, like in the way if you give an alcoholic money he'll go buy alcohol or give money to a drug addict he'll go buy drugs, put money on my phone and I'll invariably ring Jof, strange.
I arrived home and felt abit shitty, I'd had a cold and a bit of a cough for a couple of days, so I guessed it was all related, I went upstairs and threw my guts up, I got a right nasty headache and had a cold sweat, I went to sleep for a few hours then got up and I wished I hadn't, I had ear ache, headache, cough, cold, I was freezing but roasting, I wasn't a well boy, my headache was a weird one too, I would cough then get this excruciating pain in my head that was very similar to the migraines I used to suffer as a boy, but I would cough and the headache would last about 15 minutes then go and then about an hour later I would cough again and repeat the process, the worst one was just before Top Gear, I actually fell to my knees rolled in a little ball and cried in pain, I also had a nosebleed from it, such was the pressure in my head, which panicked me into thinking I had a tumour, anyway, I don't (at least I hope I don't), I went to bed at 10:30pm and slept until 2pm Monday, which is not like me, I gradually got better during Monday and I feel right as rain now, but it was possibly the worst virus I've ever had, So watch out if you start getting a sore throat, cough, ear ache and a headache, just go to bed, go to sleep and wait for death.
NEXT WEEK ON WOGGZEH'S WORLD.........It's the Woggzeh's World Blog Awards 2008, if you feel you have some candidates you'd like to see get a mention or be in contention of winning, then let me know before next Saturday, when the votes will be counted and verified.
Woggzeh
Sunday, December 07, 2008
There's a mountain and it's mighty high, you cannot see the top unless you fly.
Hey peeps
Muchos apologies about not blogging last week but I was water ski-ing in Corsica and left my laptop in my hotel room only to find that when I went to write my blog the battery had died and I had left the charger at home, so there we are, it had nothing to do with not being bothered to write a blog update, it's just that I was away.
So last night I saw a fantastic boxing match between Carl Froch and Jean Pascal, our boy (Froch) won and took the WBC super middleweight title, it was one hell of a scrap, both fighters trading blows at a ratio of 1:1, good stuff indeed.
My dog seems to have tooth ache (along with everything else wrong with it, it's basically ready for the knackers yard) and so she kept me awake nearly all night by whining and it's really loud and I felt so bad for the poor thing, still I eventually nodded off sometime around 7am.
Jof was pissed off with my blog post on Friday, so much so in fact that he called it 'the worst blog ever' well I am sorry for that but I was really happy with it and I had loads of fun researching all the big gangster dudes, so six of one half a dozen of the other, I liked it you loathed it, my blog, my rules!!!
Jof however did suggest to me on Friday to do some creative writing this weekend and I took his advice, I was going to continue with my story about Robert McGuinness, but then realised that I already had most of that planned out, but can't seem to make to links between characters and essential stuff that helps the story along, I'm actually stuck in a rut with it and so I'm hiding from it till I feel brave enough to return to it, so I decided to start writing a 'diary of a mob member' kind of like the secret diary of a call girl but with a dude who is pretty high up in the Mafia and writing about his experiences, I'm not sure how it's going to go but it's alot easier that writing a story, I'll let you all know when I start to post it.
I watched the new James Bond film last night and it was a bit meh, the action scenes were sublime but the story was wank and stupid, so I suggest that if you are not a Bond fan then don't bother with the film.
Jofs gig last week went down a storm apparently and I was very impressed that he was reviewed in the NME too, and they said it was 'a very good set by an unkown band in these parts' So well done Joffrey good luck with your next gig supporting the Rolling Stones.
I'm sure I had some more things to mention, but I can't for the life of me think what it is.
So that'll have to do you.
Take care.
Woggzeh
Muchos apologies about not blogging last week but I was water ski-ing in Corsica and left my laptop in my hotel room only to find that when I went to write my blog the battery had died and I had left the charger at home, so there we are, it had nothing to do with not being bothered to write a blog update, it's just that I was away.
So last night I saw a fantastic boxing match between Carl Froch and Jean Pascal, our boy (Froch) won and took the WBC super middleweight title, it was one hell of a scrap, both fighters trading blows at a ratio of 1:1, good stuff indeed.
My dog seems to have tooth ache (along with everything else wrong with it, it's basically ready for the knackers yard) and so she kept me awake nearly all night by whining and it's really loud and I felt so bad for the poor thing, still I eventually nodded off sometime around 7am.
Jof was pissed off with my blog post on Friday, so much so in fact that he called it 'the worst blog ever' well I am sorry for that but I was really happy with it and I had loads of fun researching all the big gangster dudes, so six of one half a dozen of the other, I liked it you loathed it, my blog, my rules!!!
Jof however did suggest to me on Friday to do some creative writing this weekend and I took his advice, I was going to continue with my story about Robert McGuinness, but then realised that I already had most of that planned out, but can't seem to make to links between characters and essential stuff that helps the story along, I'm actually stuck in a rut with it and so I'm hiding from it till I feel brave enough to return to it, so I decided to start writing a 'diary of a mob member' kind of like the secret diary of a call girl but with a dude who is pretty high up in the Mafia and writing about his experiences, I'm not sure how it's going to go but it's alot easier that writing a story, I'll let you all know when I start to post it.
I watched the new James Bond film last night and it was a bit meh, the action scenes were sublime but the story was wank and stupid, so I suggest that if you are not a Bond fan then don't bother with the film.
Jofs gig last week went down a storm apparently and I was very impressed that he was reviewed in the NME too, and they said it was 'a very good set by an unkown band in these parts' So well done Joffrey good luck with your next gig supporting the Rolling Stones.
I'm sure I had some more things to mention, but I can't for the life of me think what it is.
So that'll have to do you.
Take care.
Woggzeh
Friday, December 05, 2008
Underbelly
Something a bit different, I've just finished watching the excellent Australian gangster show Underbelly and decided to look up the real people the show was about and here are my results, this is more for my own entertainment than yours (Trelly will be interested too)
I've done the real life person and the actor and where possible a link to the persons wikipedia page (click the persons name)
Steven Owen played by Rodger Corser
Alphonse Gangitano played by Vince Colosimo
Carl Williams played by Gyton Grantley
Roberta Williams played by Kat Stewart
Jason Moran played by Les Hill
Mark Moran played by Callan Mulvey
Lewis Moran played by Kevin Harrington
Andrew 'Benji' Veniamin played by Damian Walshe-Howling
Lewis Caine played by Marcus Graham
Mario Condello played by Martin Sacks
Dino Dibra played by Daniel Amalm
Graham 'The Munster' Kinniburgh played by Gerard Kennedy
And here is a picture of Carl Williams at the funeral of Andrew 'Benji' Veniamin.
I've done the real life person and the actor and where possible a link to the persons wikipedia page (click the persons name)
Steven Owen played by Rodger Corser
Alphonse Gangitano played by Vince Colosimo
Carl Williams played by Gyton Grantley
Roberta Williams played by Kat Stewart
Jason Moran played by Les Hill
Mark Moran played by Callan Mulvey
Lewis Moran played by Kevin Harrington
Andrew 'Benji' Veniamin played by Damian Walshe-Howling
Lewis Caine played by Marcus Graham
Mario Condello played by Martin Sacks
Dino Dibra played by Daniel Amalm
Graham 'The Munster' Kinniburgh played by Gerard Kennedy
And here is a picture of Carl Williams at the funeral of Andrew 'Benji' Veniamin.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
you can do all the things that you like to do, all around underground pick a part that's new.
Hello everybody.
Sunday again and here I am with a blank screen and an even blanker mind. So I'm just going to stare at my keyboard and type whatever comes into my head, I'm not even going to look at spelling mistakes, a kind of blog experiment, just write, yeah, write and write and write, because I can't think of anything to write, a writing experiment about writey writing, this could take some time and get rather repetitive so I'm going to stop that idea and have a little cry.
Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe is back on our screens on some weeknight or other and it's still very funny, the bloke is a genius and I'm glad I found him and then let Bullough know how funny he is because Bullough likes him too.
I ate a Double Decker chocolate bar the other day and I think it's loosened one of my fillings because my tooth is a bit sensitive, I should really get it checked out by a dentist, but I don't currently have one, hence why I had a filling fall out in Febuary and still have a tooth in my mouth with a bloody great hole in it.
Ricky Hatton winned his fight last night against doo dah bloke who I've never heard of and will probably never hear of again, but at least I've heard of Oscar de la Hoye who is rumoured to be Hatton's next opponant, that should be a good fight but I think it's time we said to the Americans, we've got all the best fighters now, so you come to England to have a fight, that way we'll be able to watch the fight at a reasonable time and the fat fucking Americans will have to get off their fat arses if they want to watch their man fight.
The weather has been fucking brilliant over the last few days, we've had promises of severe snow and we've had absolutely none, I tell a lie, we had a dusting of snow on the ground frost thing this morning, I fucking hate the weather presenters, They always get it wrong and they are all cunts, except Keeley Donovan (click her name for her picture)because I am in love with her, oh and Lisa Gallagher is pretty tasty too.
Forcast for this week, well, I'm hoping to win the lottery and I might even purchase a ticket to help my chances, there is a 24 mvie on Monday night, a 2 hour spectacular, That's sure to be good.
I think it's next week that Joffers is playing a gig and being supported by the Bluetones, so if you haven't got a ticket yet and need one, fucking sort yourself out! Click here!
Well I think that'll do for now. Love to all, catch you later
Woggzeh.
Sunday again and here I am with a blank screen and an even blanker mind. So I'm just going to stare at my keyboard and type whatever comes into my head, I'm not even going to look at spelling mistakes, a kind of blog experiment, just write, yeah, write and write and write, because I can't think of anything to write, a writing experiment about writey writing, this could take some time and get rather repetitive so I'm going to stop that idea and have a little cry.
Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe is back on our screens on some weeknight or other and it's still very funny, the bloke is a genius and I'm glad I found him and then let Bullough know how funny he is because Bullough likes him too.
I ate a Double Decker chocolate bar the other day and I think it's loosened one of my fillings because my tooth is a bit sensitive, I should really get it checked out by a dentist, but I don't currently have one, hence why I had a filling fall out in Febuary and still have a tooth in my mouth with a bloody great hole in it.
Ricky Hatton winned his fight last night against doo dah bloke who I've never heard of and will probably never hear of again, but at least I've heard of Oscar de la Hoye who is rumoured to be Hatton's next opponant, that should be a good fight but I think it's time we said to the Americans, we've got all the best fighters now, so you come to England to have a fight, that way we'll be able to watch the fight at a reasonable time and the fat fucking Americans will have to get off their fat arses if they want to watch their man fight.
The weather has been fucking brilliant over the last few days, we've had promises of severe snow and we've had absolutely none, I tell a lie, we had a dusting of snow on the ground frost thing this morning, I fucking hate the weather presenters, They always get it wrong and they are all cunts, except Keeley Donovan (click her name for her picture)because I am in love with her, oh and Lisa Gallagher is pretty tasty too.
Forcast for this week, well, I'm hoping to win the lottery and I might even purchase a ticket to help my chances, there is a 24 mvie on Monday night, a 2 hour spectacular, That's sure to be good.
I think it's next week that Joffers is playing a gig and being supported by the Bluetones, so if you haven't got a ticket yet and need one, fucking sort yourself out! Click here!
Well I think that'll do for now. Love to all, catch you later
Woggzeh.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
And I found that round here In this city That I won't disappear In this city I got nothing to fear In this city, In this city
I tell you, I really need to start writing this thing on a Friday or something because I seem to go blank on Sundays, and all the ideas I had to write about are suddenly no more and weill come back to me once I've posted this or will return during the week only to disappear again next Sunday.
So I want you to watch this, I was meant to post it last week, but I couldn't be arsed to update, just watch it for the Jurrasic Park scene and you'll laugh your bollocks off.
I'm sorry but I've really got nothing exciting to report, I've really got into the Australian show 'Underbelly' which is a true story about the Australian Mafia, it's really well made and a good show although, I still can't get over how un-threatening Australians sound when saying things like, "you know who you're talking to mate?" "I'm gonna kill you" it just doesn't sound right, but still, a very good show.
I watched the David Haye fight last night and it was fantastic, a proper good fight and he's so fast its like watching a middleweight fight, and this guys a heavy! I'm looking forward to him meeting up with one of the Klitschko brothers next year. Last week we had Calzaghe, Last night we had Haye and next week it's Ricky Hatton vs Paulie Malignaggi (I've never heard of him either), so it's a good month for Boxing fans.
That's about it, Everything that's on TV and in the press is now illegal and gets 4 million complaints and means that the only thing allowed on tele which isn't going to cause offence is the test card.
Just found out that Pavla is now a mum and has had a little girl, I didn't even know she was pregnant.
So I want you to watch this, I was meant to post it last week, but I couldn't be arsed to update, just watch it for the Jurrasic Park scene and you'll laugh your bollocks off.
I'm sorry but I've really got nothing exciting to report, I've really got into the Australian show 'Underbelly' which is a true story about the Australian Mafia, it's really well made and a good show although, I still can't get over how un-threatening Australians sound when saying things like, "you know who you're talking to mate?" "I'm gonna kill you" it just doesn't sound right, but still, a very good show.
I watched the David Haye fight last night and it was fantastic, a proper good fight and he's so fast its like watching a middleweight fight, and this guys a heavy! I'm looking forward to him meeting up with one of the Klitschko brothers next year. Last week we had Calzaghe, Last night we had Haye and next week it's Ricky Hatton vs Paulie Malignaggi (I've never heard of him either), so it's a good month for Boxing fans.
That's about it, Everything that's on TV and in the press is now illegal and gets 4 million complaints and means that the only thing allowed on tele which isn't going to cause offence is the test card.
Just found out that Pavla is now a mum and has had a little girl, I didn't even know she was pregnant.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
So, so what I'm still a rock star, I got my rock moves and I don't need you. And guess what, I'm havin more fun and now that were done....
So here we are again, Sundeh!
I'm loving Pinks new song 'So What' I loved it so much that I rushed out and got the album, which is pants! I really hate that with music, the false pretense that one song gives you, I should always stick to the three single rule, which for those who don't know it, if you like three singles from one album then you could spend £12 buying those singles, but the album only costs about 99p more and you have a shitload more songs, so it makes finacial sense, more music for less, unless you are a fan of Oasis, they fucked up the system by making fantastic B-sides to their singles, so you had to buy the single and the album.
The other useless thing about music is that if you are an up and coming band, then you have to pray to God that Bullough doesn't find you and tell everyone that you are great, he's like the fucking kiss of death for bands, I say this slightly tongue in cheek, but I was reading an old NME t'other day and I was looking at the bands and I thought, 'where are they now, Bullough raved about them' Bands like Nine Black Alps, Goldfrapp, Magic Numbers, Royksopp, Hard Fi, I will in fairness, tip credit to him, for a band, that I'm not a fan of, but they are still there in the music scene and they were only a fledgling band when the article was written (2005) but I'm pretty sure I've heard something from them recently, they are called Forward Russia, Then again, I'm being too kind on mister Bullough, if you shout out every band that's ever performed, you are bound to hit the nail on the head with one, pretty much Trellies tactic when watching a 'whodunnit' film, he will accuse everyone on screen, and then at the end, jump for joy and say, 'told you it was him'.
So Joffers has managed to pull off an awesome gig supporting the Bluetones on the 30th November in London, It's going to be really cool, and it'll be a huge event for Jof and I wish him the best of luck. If you need tickets, send me £50 and I'll hook you up.
I often wonder where I'd be musically if Jof didn't move away, I'm not talking about still strumming around with Shooter or anything like that I mean, what kind of directions would my songs have taken, would I have got better? (couldn't have got much worse) or would I have given up and sulked that Jof had written a better song than me? Not that he ever did write better songs, but he would always write something cool that would set a marker and I would have to beat it, then he would beat my marker, and so on..... I'm willing to bet that if we had carried on the competition and working off each other then the greatest song in the world would have been written, but alas, it hasn't been written and so End of a Rainbow sits in a very respectable temporary first.
Went to the Stray bonfire last night to see the fireworks and they were bloody good, once again music was played to the fireworks and the choreography was slightly out, but you can't help these things, the fire was lit and everyone had a butchers at it, then as does everyone every year, we (me and Trelly) buggered off, it was agreed that Harrogate council, should make it more of an event, like getting a fair to come to town so that people have something to do after the fireworks and so that everyone can make a night of it.
Also some stupid thick bitch took her dog to the firework show, naturally the dog was petrified and barked throughout the event, it was annoying, but I can't blame the dog, if I had a gun I would have shot the owner for being so fucking dumb!
I also have news that Pieman has got the gaffers job at the Stonebeck, so I wish him all the best with that, although at £2.90 a pint, I'll not be frequenting the establishment, not when the Gardeners Arms is a mere £1.65.
Well, I think that'll do for this week.
Woggzeh.
PS - Trelly is still having problems with the animal kingdom, especially identifying animals, last night we were watching a film and there was a talking badger on screen which Trelly instantly reffered to as 'the talking snake' close my friend, but no cigar!
I'm loving Pinks new song 'So What' I loved it so much that I rushed out and got the album, which is pants! I really hate that with music, the false pretense that one song gives you, I should always stick to the three single rule, which for those who don't know it, if you like three singles from one album then you could spend £12 buying those singles, but the album only costs about 99p more and you have a shitload more songs, so it makes finacial sense, more music for less, unless you are a fan of Oasis, they fucked up the system by making fantastic B-sides to their singles, so you had to buy the single and the album.
The other useless thing about music is that if you are an up and coming band, then you have to pray to God that Bullough doesn't find you and tell everyone that you are great, he's like the fucking kiss of death for bands, I say this slightly tongue in cheek, but I was reading an old NME t'other day and I was looking at the bands and I thought, 'where are they now, Bullough raved about them' Bands like Nine Black Alps, Goldfrapp, Magic Numbers, Royksopp, Hard Fi, I will in fairness, tip credit to him, for a band, that I'm not a fan of, but they are still there in the music scene and they were only a fledgling band when the article was written (2005) but I'm pretty sure I've heard something from them recently, they are called Forward Russia, Then again, I'm being too kind on mister Bullough, if you shout out every band that's ever performed, you are bound to hit the nail on the head with one, pretty much Trellies tactic when watching a 'whodunnit' film, he will accuse everyone on screen, and then at the end, jump for joy and say, 'told you it was him'.
So Joffers has managed to pull off an awesome gig supporting the Bluetones on the 30th November in London, It's going to be really cool, and it'll be a huge event for Jof and I wish him the best of luck. If you need tickets, send me £50 and I'll hook you up.
I often wonder where I'd be musically if Jof didn't move away, I'm not talking about still strumming around with Shooter or anything like that I mean, what kind of directions would my songs have taken, would I have got better? (couldn't have got much worse) or would I have given up and sulked that Jof had written a better song than me? Not that he ever did write better songs, but he would always write something cool that would set a marker and I would have to beat it, then he would beat my marker, and so on..... I'm willing to bet that if we had carried on the competition and working off each other then the greatest song in the world would have been written, but alas, it hasn't been written and so End of a Rainbow sits in a very respectable temporary first.
Went to the Stray bonfire last night to see the fireworks and they were bloody good, once again music was played to the fireworks and the choreography was slightly out, but you can't help these things, the fire was lit and everyone had a butchers at it, then as does everyone every year, we (me and Trelly) buggered off, it was agreed that Harrogate council, should make it more of an event, like getting a fair to come to town so that people have something to do after the fireworks and so that everyone can make a night of it.
Also some stupid thick bitch took her dog to the firework show, naturally the dog was petrified and barked throughout the event, it was annoying, but I can't blame the dog, if I had a gun I would have shot the owner for being so fucking dumb!
I also have news that Pieman has got the gaffers job at the Stonebeck, so I wish him all the best with that, although at £2.90 a pint, I'll not be frequenting the establishment, not when the Gardeners Arms is a mere £1.65.
Well, I think that'll do for this week.
Woggzeh.
PS - Trelly is still having problems with the animal kingdom, especially identifying animals, last night we were watching a film and there was a talking badger on screen which Trelly instantly reffered to as 'the talking snake' close my friend, but no cigar!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I can't wait for my next drink The first one is gonna sink I'm the last of the big time drinkers
Now then, a day late, but better late than never.
So yesterday I went to the Tan Hill Inn in Swaledale, it's accredited as the highest Inn in England and it is!
We set off and had the sat nav rocking with our directions, eventually it told us we were at our destination, when in fact, we were in the middle of a farm track, so Paul asked the farmer where the pub was and he informed us that we were a good 25 minutes away, so we set off again and eventually made it to the pub, we got out the car and was immediately blown by the wind 30 foot to the left, we eventually found our footing and tied our shoelaces to each other, figuring that there would be safety in numbers, we made it to the front door and entered the premises, the first thing I noticed was how warm it was inside, not too hot not too cold, just perfectly snug, I could imagine having 5 or 6 pints and sitting by the log fire and falling asleep, very nice indeed, Everest Windows have certainly done a good job.
£2.80 for a pint of lager is expensive but worth it, word of warning though, there is a sign that says, "Don't expect a lot of change, your money WILL go to charity" I paid with the exact money so I wasn't robbed, but Trelly had a pound taken off him for the charity box, there is also another sign warning you about mobile phones, it's 50p per minute to use or it goes in the pickle jar and there are a few jars on the bar full of mobile phones and pickling vinegar, crazy!
We drained our drink and then went for a walk about round the pub and surrounding area, the wind had got worse and luckily we were carrying boat anchors to save us from blowing away, the wind was really powerful, at one point Trelly took off like a kite!!
Trelly took some pictures as we froze our knackers off, it was so cold up there that I saw a brass monkey crying his eyes out and the flame on my lighter froze!
We eventually got back in the car and set off, the pub is the only thing for miles around, which makes the neighbour hood watch sign very amusing, although it would be slightly ironic if the landscape got stolen over night!
All in all, a very nice pub and I'd advise you to go and try it, have a day out, go rambling, stop for a pint and some food, just make sure you have plenty of change otherwise they'll nick all your shiny pennies.
Wogzzeh
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Faces in a dream we are, driving round in a stolen car.
I forgot to mention to people that I've upped a new story I was working on (woggzeh's short stories), it's only chapter one and I kind of bored of writing it due to my shoulder problem taking up most of my time, I love stories of serial killers and crazy shit, stuff that you read and dismiss but sticks in your head anyway and haunts you a bit, fucking crazy, I want to write that kind of story, but it's not easy, most of the stuff comes to me in my dreams, I just need the right dreams.
Lotto, is a story of hope, I had mixed emotions about it, I wanted to get out of writing the stories with a twist that everyone saw coming, but I still wanted to end it badly, I had ideas about an adventure story, 'what you can do with the money/playboy lifestyle' loads of fucking fun shit, I also wanted it to end sadisticly like the 'corruption of money' angle, but as you can see, I only did one chapter, I was never happy with it, it's not my niche. I think murder is all I can write.
The problem with murder stories is that there is nothing new you can do (mask of sanity is an ongoing project that WILL be fantastic), OK you can find a new angle, but it's pretty much already there on the shelves.
I was reading (for the millionth time) the story of Ed Geins, now there was one fucked up dude, and also my case in point, you couldn't invent this guy in your wildest dreams, if he didn't exist, then he wouldn't exist, you understand? I've had ideas following his story that I could incorporate to my kind of writing and scare the fuck out of me (would it scare you? I doubt it), but at the end of the day, I'm fiction, this guy was real and that's the scary fucking thing, the reality is far more scary than any writer (look at me calling myself a writer) can possibly imagine, and even if I could imagine it, it would never seem scary enough.
I want to be scary, I want to be sickening, but I don't want you to think this is a reflection on me.
I'm not that fucked up, (close to it, but not there yet), basically, I'm stuck, I've got ideas, but they barely make a page when I write them up as a story, throw me ideas, comment on what I've done, I'm not going to take offence, am I better when I write, I don't know, 3rd person? the narrative, "he did this, she did that?" or 1st person? I don't know, I don't even know what 'person' I write in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 100th???, I find it easier to just narrate a story and that's how I like it, but is it what you the reader prefer and is it what works best on paper?
you know what I mean?
Lotto, is a story of hope, I had mixed emotions about it, I wanted to get out of writing the stories with a twist that everyone saw coming, but I still wanted to end it badly, I had ideas about an adventure story, 'what you can do with the money/playboy lifestyle' loads of fucking fun shit, I also wanted it to end sadisticly like the 'corruption of money' angle, but as you can see, I only did one chapter, I was never happy with it, it's not my niche. I think murder is all I can write.
The problem with murder stories is that there is nothing new you can do (mask of sanity is an ongoing project that WILL be fantastic), OK you can find a new angle, but it's pretty much already there on the shelves.
I was reading (for the millionth time) the story of Ed Geins, now there was one fucked up dude, and also my case in point, you couldn't invent this guy in your wildest dreams, if he didn't exist, then he wouldn't exist, you understand? I've had ideas following his story that I could incorporate to my kind of writing and scare the fuck out of me (would it scare you? I doubt it), but at the end of the day, I'm fiction, this guy was real and that's the scary fucking thing, the reality is far more scary than any writer (look at me calling myself a writer) can possibly imagine, and even if I could imagine it, it would never seem scary enough.
I want to be scary, I want to be sickening, but I don't want you to think this is a reflection on me.
I'm not that fucked up, (close to it, but not there yet), basically, I'm stuck, I've got ideas, but they barely make a page when I write them up as a story, throw me ideas, comment on what I've done, I'm not going to take offence, am I better when I write, I don't know, 3rd person? the narrative, "he did this, she did that?" or 1st person? I don't know, I don't even know what 'person' I write in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 100th???, I find it easier to just narrate a story and that's how I like it, but is it what you the reader prefer and is it what works best on paper?
you know what I mean?
Sunday, October 19, 2008
I said I'm tired Come get me off the merry-go-round I'm wired Come feed me and then bring-a-me down.
Sunday again and after a whole week of days following night, we are here again at Sunday.
So I've (typically) got nothing to tell you other than about a really exciting week in my football game.
I won the league by 5 clear points and Robin came second which meant automatic promotion for us, Trelly and Jof finished in play off places and managed to win their semi final matches and set up an awesome match against each other in the final, promotion for the winner, another season in the doldrums for the loser. Trelly was tense and I'm sure Jof was as nervous, the game finished 1-1 and went to penalies which Trellies team won 3-1, so he was a happy chappy, I've not spoken to Jof, becuase he's been in Manchester, but I bet he's gutted.
I've had right bad guts for the past few days and this morning I had to get up at 6am because I was in pain, I was sick and had the poops, which is really annoying when it's coming out at the same time, anyway, I've managed to get some dry toast down me and I've had an immodium and now I feel right as rain, although I'm not brave enough to fart yet.
I thought I was going mad earlier this week, I left my gaff to go to Trels and walked to the shop, got to the shop, went into the shop and stood in front of the beer counter and then realised that I had gone to the wrong shop! I was in Jacksons on Kings Road and I should have been in McColls on King Edwards Dr, and I have no recollection of actually getting there, it's scary and reminded me of a few months back when I went to the shop and stopped in my tracks because I didn't have a clue why I was outside or where I was going, I honestly think I'm going mad, which could be fun, but I doubt it.
Loads of cool television for the autumn season, Spooks is back, Top Gear is on it's way too and a new show by Charlie Brooker called Dead Set, it's all about Zombies and it's supposed to be fucking ace, that starts on Monday 27th October and runs all week, there is also a new Danny Dyer show where he goes round looking for hard men in his usual cockney charm.
I've not heard from Lee for a few days, but if he was playing Mario Kart (Wii) last night then he could have joined in a played us lot, it probably would have helped if someone had told him we were playing but it's his loss, we played Wii sports instead, which is a lot of fun.
Also I'm still loving the new Oasis album, my favourite song at the moment is 'Waiting For The Rapture' very Beatle-esque and it has a great Bass intro.
Well I've somehow managed to stumble to the end of this blog update, I hope you are all O.K.
Toodle Ooh
Woggzeh
So I've (typically) got nothing to tell you other than about a really exciting week in my football game.
I won the league by 5 clear points and Robin came second which meant automatic promotion for us, Trelly and Jof finished in play off places and managed to win their semi final matches and set up an awesome match against each other in the final, promotion for the winner, another season in the doldrums for the loser. Trelly was tense and I'm sure Jof was as nervous, the game finished 1-1 and went to penalies which Trellies team won 3-1, so he was a happy chappy, I've not spoken to Jof, becuase he's been in Manchester, but I bet he's gutted.
I've had right bad guts for the past few days and this morning I had to get up at 6am because I was in pain, I was sick and had the poops, which is really annoying when it's coming out at the same time, anyway, I've managed to get some dry toast down me and I've had an immodium and now I feel right as rain, although I'm not brave enough to fart yet.
I thought I was going mad earlier this week, I left my gaff to go to Trels and walked to the shop, got to the shop, went into the shop and stood in front of the beer counter and then realised that I had gone to the wrong shop! I was in Jacksons on Kings Road and I should have been in McColls on King Edwards Dr, and I have no recollection of actually getting there, it's scary and reminded me of a few months back when I went to the shop and stopped in my tracks because I didn't have a clue why I was outside or where I was going, I honestly think I'm going mad, which could be fun, but I doubt it.
Loads of cool television for the autumn season, Spooks is back, Top Gear is on it's way too and a new show by Charlie Brooker called Dead Set, it's all about Zombies and it's supposed to be fucking ace, that starts on Monday 27th October and runs all week, there is also a new Danny Dyer show where he goes round looking for hard men in his usual cockney charm.
I've not heard from Lee for a few days, but if he was playing Mario Kart (Wii) last night then he could have joined in a played us lot, it probably would have helped if someone had told him we were playing but it's his loss, we played Wii sports instead, which is a lot of fun.
Also I'm still loving the new Oasis album, my favourite song at the moment is 'Waiting For The Rapture' very Beatle-esque and it has a great Bass intro.
Well I've somehow managed to stumble to the end of this blog update, I hope you are all O.K.
Toodle Ooh
Woggzeh
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Someone tell me I'm dreaming, The freaks are rising up through the floor, Everything I believe in, Is telling me that I want more, more, more
Word up Peeps,
Look look, I'm blogging on a Sunday!!!!!!!!!
Well, I didn't really want to but I made a promise to Joffrey that I would and I'm a man of my word if nothing else.
So, nothing.
Abigail came over to play yesterday and she was lovely, she's always a little shy at first but somehow she always comes to me and comes out of her shell, I'm guessing that it has something to do with me being childish, or maybe she can see that I need help, but never the less, she is a lot of fun, she's using words now too which is sweet as she hasn't mastered English yet, but she is certainly better at it than some of my mates.
I had a freaky experience the other day, I was on facebook and looking through a group and I saw a picture of a random girl who I thought looked cute, so naturally, I click her profile to see if I can find out more about this chick, her profile was sadly locked but I noticed that she had two mutual friends, so I look at them and the friends are Lee and Lindsay! as it turns out, this random bird used to work with Lee in a pub in Brisbane, what a small fucking world!!!!!! it's also given me another reason to visit Australia too :-).
On the subject of Lindsay, it was her birthday t'other day, so 'grats for that, I'm sure she had a good drink, for those who don't know her, she can drink like a fish and she's freakishly tall, in fact I wouldn't be suprised if (coming from a sunny climate) her family tree is a sun flower (because they are freakishly tall too).
I'm loving the new Oasis album, it's a lot better than some of the shit they've released recently and I can only put their return to form down to the inspiration Noel felt when we had a meeting in Edinburgh (still the most amazing moment of my/his life).
Soccer manager is taking a lot of my time, as my Villa team have one game left and I need to win the last game to guarantee winning the League, or I can draw and hope that Robins team (who are in second) don't win by more than 5 goals and lah dee dah and Jofs team could be playing trellies team in the play offs and that's that, in my other setups, I have Spurs in a relegation battle, 4 points from safety with 5 games left, in fairness, I took over them 5 games ago when they were deep in trouble and almost certain relegation and I haven't done too bad, so I'm optimistic that I can get them out of trouble, and Boca Juniors, are under performing, so it's all go, not to mention my 'other accout' of Juventus, Hamburg and River Plate, it's a lot of fun.
Well, I'm going to go now as the snooker is on the telebox and my arm is hurting from this typing, I pray it gets better soon.
Laters
Woggzeh
Look look, I'm blogging on a Sunday!!!!!!!!!
Well, I didn't really want to but I made a promise to Joffrey that I would and I'm a man of my word if nothing else.
So, nothing.
Abigail came over to play yesterday and she was lovely, she's always a little shy at first but somehow she always comes to me and comes out of her shell, I'm guessing that it has something to do with me being childish, or maybe she can see that I need help, but never the less, she is a lot of fun, she's using words now too which is sweet as she hasn't mastered English yet, but she is certainly better at it than some of my mates.
I had a freaky experience the other day, I was on facebook and looking through a group and I saw a picture of a random girl who I thought looked cute, so naturally, I click her profile to see if I can find out more about this chick, her profile was sadly locked but I noticed that she had two mutual friends, so I look at them and the friends are Lee and Lindsay! as it turns out, this random bird used to work with Lee in a pub in Brisbane, what a small fucking world!!!!!! it's also given me another reason to visit Australia too :-).
On the subject of Lindsay, it was her birthday t'other day, so 'grats for that, I'm sure she had a good drink, for those who don't know her, she can drink like a fish and she's freakishly tall, in fact I wouldn't be suprised if (coming from a sunny climate) her family tree is a sun flower (because they are freakishly tall too).
I'm loving the new Oasis album, it's a lot better than some of the shit they've released recently and I can only put their return to form down to the inspiration Noel felt when we had a meeting in Edinburgh (still the most amazing moment of my/his life).
Soccer manager is taking a lot of my time, as my Villa team have one game left and I need to win the last game to guarantee winning the League, or I can draw and hope that Robins team (who are in second) don't win by more than 5 goals and lah dee dah and Jofs team could be playing trellies team in the play offs and that's that, in my other setups, I have Spurs in a relegation battle, 4 points from safety with 5 games left, in fairness, I took over them 5 games ago when they were deep in trouble and almost certain relegation and I haven't done too bad, so I'm optimistic that I can get them out of trouble, and Boca Juniors, are under performing, so it's all go, not to mention my 'other accout' of Juventus, Hamburg and River Plate, it's a lot of fun.
Well, I'm going to go now as the snooker is on the telebox and my arm is hurting from this typing, I pray it gets better soon.
Laters
Woggzeh
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird, B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
Now then,
After much promptimng from Jof, I've been persuaded to update, I don't know why I agreed as I haven't got much to say and it'll be a crap update. I'm also going to try and get back into the routine of blogging every Sunday, as that was easy to remember to do and it made a good read for you lot at the start of the week; Sadly, the Sunday blog will probably be a highlight of how my teams did in Soccer Manager!
So anyway, Trelly and myself have decided to go to Prague for New Year next year (09/10) so If anyone else is up for that then let me know, obviously I've not got any details yet, but it'll be cheap flights and I'm happy to use the Prague Experience team again for the airport transfers and some different digs as I couldn't fault their service.
I'm off to ASDA later (just had a conversation with Jof about how cool the word asda is to write on a keyboard as all the letters are next to each other) I woke up with a craving for Spaghetti Bolognaise, which I've not had in months, which is unusual for me as I love that meal, so I'm having that for my tea, yum.
My arm is still fucked and I'm going to have to go for the big injection into the muscle and physiotherapy after that, because as it's not 'AS' bad (painwise) it's still causing a lot of problems and I need the pain killers to get by, which isn't ideal as I don't want to get addicted to them.
If anyone hasn't seen the new episode of Family Guy then I warn you now, DON'T!!! while it is hilarious, Peter plays a record called 'Surfin Bird' almost continuously throughout the show and it's one of those annoying songs that stick in your head for decades, it's really doing my nut in and I'm contemplating suicide to stop the music playing in my head!!
Well, that'll do for now, I've kept my word and updated, I also kept my word that I had nothing to say and it'll be a crap update.
Woggzeh
After much promptimng from Jof, I've been persuaded to update, I don't know why I agreed as I haven't got much to say and it'll be a crap update. I'm also going to try and get back into the routine of blogging every Sunday, as that was easy to remember to do and it made a good read for you lot at the start of the week; Sadly, the Sunday blog will probably be a highlight of how my teams did in Soccer Manager!
So anyway, Trelly and myself have decided to go to Prague for New Year next year (09/10) so If anyone else is up for that then let me know, obviously I've not got any details yet, but it'll be cheap flights and I'm happy to use the Prague Experience team again for the airport transfers and some different digs as I couldn't fault their service.
I'm off to ASDA later (just had a conversation with Jof about how cool the word asda is to write on a keyboard as all the letters are next to each other) I woke up with a craving for Spaghetti Bolognaise, which I've not had in months, which is unusual for me as I love that meal, so I'm having that for my tea, yum.
My arm is still fucked and I'm going to have to go for the big injection into the muscle and physiotherapy after that, because as it's not 'AS' bad (painwise) it's still causing a lot of problems and I need the pain killers to get by, which isn't ideal as I don't want to get addicted to them.
If anyone hasn't seen the new episode of Family Guy then I warn you now, DON'T!!! while it is hilarious, Peter plays a record called 'Surfin Bird' almost continuously throughout the show and it's one of those annoying songs that stick in your head for decades, it's really doing my nut in and I'm contemplating suicide to stop the music playing in my head!!
Well, that'll do for now, I've kept my word and updated, I also kept my word that I had nothing to say and it'll be a crap update.
Woggzeh
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Does that song get stuck in your head too? it's an advert about New Zealand and it looks right nice actually, I might go visit (only joking Lee).
So here I sit, still in pain, but alas it's not as bad as it was a month ago, although a month ago I didn't have any pain in my bicep or elbow, but I'm guessing that pain is because I 'm using muscle and bits of arm I don't usually use to compensate for my shoulder, blah blah blah.
So I'm officially unemployed, details of which you can guess, and that's it as far as I'm concerned, besides, with the country on it's knees at the moment, I'm better off not working and signing on, at least I've not had to pay for my prescription, which, with all the pillls I've been taking recently, is a blessing (current total of pescriptions is about £35 and soon to rise when I get more pain killers).
I managed to write chapter one of my new book, and I will write more when I can type for a long period of time, it's frustrating because I wan't to complete it ASAP.
It was Trelly's birthday on Monday, he's officially old (30) , well done to him.
I honestly haven't got anything to tell you, that's why I've not updated, I've found a sure fire way of picking horses and getting the winner everytime (well, I've been trying my system for three days and not lost) but I've not had the courage to place momey on the horse yet, because we all know that as soon as I do that then the fucking thing will lose, so I'll just keep playing my system for my own enjoyment.
Soccer Manager is still shamefully addictive and I've managed to rope Jof into it now aswell, he beat me in our first friendly, that's the last time I give him a chance! Seriously, if you like football (so just about every bloke in the world except Bullough) then have a bash, it's free and fun.
Anyway, I'm done, sorry it's a short shit update, but it'll have to do.
Woggzeh
So here I sit, still in pain, but alas it's not as bad as it was a month ago, although a month ago I didn't have any pain in my bicep or elbow, but I'm guessing that pain is because I 'm using muscle and bits of arm I don't usually use to compensate for my shoulder, blah blah blah.
So I'm officially unemployed, details of which you can guess, and that's it as far as I'm concerned, besides, with the country on it's knees at the moment, I'm better off not working and signing on, at least I've not had to pay for my prescription, which, with all the pillls I've been taking recently, is a blessing (current total of pescriptions is about £35 and soon to rise when I get more pain killers).
I managed to write chapter one of my new book, and I will write more when I can type for a long period of time, it's frustrating because I wan't to complete it ASAP.
It was Trelly's birthday on Monday, he's officially old (30) , well done to him.
I honestly haven't got anything to tell you, that's why I've not updated, I've found a sure fire way of picking horses and getting the winner everytime (well, I've been trying my system for three days and not lost) but I've not had the courage to place momey on the horse yet, because we all know that as soon as I do that then the fucking thing will lose, so I'll just keep playing my system for my own enjoyment.
Soccer Manager is still shamefully addictive and I've managed to rope Jof into it now aswell, he beat me in our first friendly, that's the last time I give him a chance! Seriously, if you like football (so just about every bloke in the world except Bullough) then have a bash, it's free and fun.
Anyway, I'm done, sorry it's a short shit update, but it'll have to do.
Woggzeh
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Lying in the long long grass, Blossom on the trees, Springtime's slipping away my love, Yeah springtime's slipping away.
Hello,
Been a while I know but for good reason, I've torn my shoulder muscle (trapezius, it's more than just a little tear, you can see where a bit of the muscle has snapped and sprung back/recoiled to it's starting point) and it hurts like fuck when I type/sit at a keyboard/breath/live/do anything.
So I'll keep this short and sweet, as I've not got much to tell you anyway.
I've been playing soccermanager way too much, and I'm addicted, I've just left Reading and taken over as manager of Spurs because they have a better squad, my first game in charge was last night and I lost 2-1, (Reading won 7-1) so there is still a bit of work to do, (if you join up, then I 'm in the setups : World Championship 157, World Championship 1322 and English Championship 337, if you join them, then you can play my teams, or cheat and give me your money)
I reformatted my PC last week (well Trelly did it - with a Genuine Windows XP too!) because it was running so slow and being a bitch, so we gave it the old back up everything important (porn) and delete the rest and start again, we added some memory too and now I'm happy to say, my computer is fine apart from my sound card which isn't working, don't know what to do there, the drivers haven't fixed it, I think Trelly might have licked it while I wasn't looking, but I can't prove it, anyway I can get hold of a few sound cards for zero pennies, so I'll just change it and cross me fingers that it works, also my spell checker isn't working any ideas peeps? it usually has a red line under mis-spelt words.
I've had a cracking idea for a new story, and as soon as I can type for more than a minute without pain, I'll be writing it up, I think you'll like it, it's not about death and misery, quite the opposite in fact, anyway, I'll keep you posted as to when it get's written.
It's Lee's 30th Birthday on Sunday so many happy returns mate, I'm not going to make it now, but it isn't for the lack of trying. Hope you have a great day.
I'm in a bit of pain now, and the pills I'm on are making me really dizzy and confused (and constipated) so I'm going to leave you now with a funny story by Woody Allen, I don't usually like the guy buy this is fucking hilarious, it's funnier when you hear him tell it but read the script and you might laugh.
"I shot a moose, once. I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up. So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday. And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.
Been a while I know but for good reason, I've torn my shoulder muscle (trapezius, it's more than just a little tear, you can see where a bit of the muscle has snapped and sprung back/recoiled to it's starting point) and it hurts like fuck when I type/sit at a keyboard/breath/live/do anything.
So I'll keep this short and sweet, as I've not got much to tell you anyway.
I've been playing soccermanager way too much, and I'm addicted, I've just left Reading and taken over as manager of Spurs because they have a better squad, my first game in charge was last night and I lost 2-1, (Reading won 7-1) so there is still a bit of work to do, (if you join up, then I 'm in the setups : World Championship 157, World Championship 1322 and English Championship 337, if you join them, then you can play my teams, or cheat and give me your money)
I reformatted my PC last week (well Trelly did it - with a Genuine Windows XP too!) because it was running so slow and being a bitch, so we gave it the old back up everything important (porn) and delete the rest and start again, we added some memory too and now I'm happy to say, my computer is fine apart from my sound card which isn't working, don't know what to do there, the drivers haven't fixed it, I think Trelly might have licked it while I wasn't looking, but I can't prove it, anyway I can get hold of a few sound cards for zero pennies, so I'll just change it and cross me fingers that it works, also my spell checker isn't working any ideas peeps? it usually has a red line under mis-spelt words.
I've had a cracking idea for a new story, and as soon as I can type for more than a minute without pain, I'll be writing it up, I think you'll like it, it's not about death and misery, quite the opposite in fact, anyway, I'll keep you posted as to when it get's written.
It's Lee's 30th Birthday on Sunday so many happy returns mate, I'm not going to make it now, but it isn't for the lack of trying. Hope you have a great day.
I'm in a bit of pain now, and the pills I'm on are making me really dizzy and confused (and constipated) so I'm going to leave you now with a funny story by Woody Allen, I don't usually like the guy buy this is fucking hilarious, it's funnier when you hear him tell it but read the script and you might laugh.
"I shot a moose, once. I was hunting up-state New York, and I shot a moose, and I strap him on to the fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the west side highway, but what I didn't realize was, that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland tunnel - the moose woke up. So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signaling for a turn, y'know. There's a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, tuesday, thursday and saturday. And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine is having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It wouldn't be my responsibillity.
So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say "Hello. You know the Solomons". We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half. Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prices for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Burcowiches, a maried couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burcowiches lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious. Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Burcowiches. So I'm driving along with two jewish people on my fender, and there's a law in New York State ... tuesdays, thursdays and especially saturday.
The following morning the Burcowiches wake up in the woods, in a moose suit. Mr. Burcowich is shot, stuffed and mounted - at the New York Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it's restricted."
Friday, August 29, 2008
If you want to go out, if you want to go out, Read it in the papers, tell me what it's all about, yeah.
So, I think I've broken my neck, I'm not a doctor but you hear of these things all the time (well twice), where some dude has a broken neck or arm or is dead and doesn't get diagnosed for like twenty years, well I think I'm that guy.
It's been hurting for weeks now and it's terrible at night, mainly because I sleep funny (see, I'm even funny when asleep) I sleep all askew, sometimes I think I sleep doing a headstand, but there is no proof to support my suggestion, so until there is proof then it's another fable, like the Yeti and Aliens and Graham Norton actually being funny; So that's that, I thought I would share that with you, as I know how much you care, not one fucking 'update' message for ages now, you guys really know how to piss me off.
So why haven't I blogged in a few weeks? well the truth is that I've had nothing to tell you, and I've been lazy and skint! fuck me have I been skint, I hate it when you put your hand in your pocket and can only feel your leg, I like to have a bit of folded or some coinage to reassure me that I have enough for a drink, and that's the reason I haven't blogged, because I've been too sober. Sobriety is a state that most people live in and do quite well, but it's a world where I don't work too well, I find it dark, damp and depressing, but like following someone into the toilet and ingesting the foul smell, I've had to suffer it recently, and as you will be aware, it's like a domino effect when you are skint for a while, bills pile up I.O.U's add up, so I don't know when I'll be back on my feet, but fuck it, I'm not going to wallow in self pity, it's not my thing, I'm far more likely to rob a bank, but I can't even afford a gun!
I ask you now, when was the last time you heard, 'Going Out' by Supergrass? I heard it on the radio the other day and was totally taken aback, how cool were their first two albums? they were ace, that's what they were! Sad thing is though is that I only have them on cassette (a what? I hear you cry) but yeah, I forgot about them and they are still going too, but ignore the new stuff (album three onwards) because it's a bit wanky.
I was going to write some more material for Collywogs bloggy blog but then I couldn't be bothered, I had some good ideas but that's as far as I got with it, seems to be a pattern in my life, idea>motivation>start>get bored>give up.
Lee has been updating his blog a lot more recently which is cool as he always writes good stuff unlike me, him and Lindsay have split up which is sad, always a hard time for any one, I don't know the details and it would be wrong of me to presume, so I won't. I hope they are both fine as I love both of them very much and hope to hear from them both soon.
Well, I think that should do for this update, I hope I have satisfied your need to read, I hope you are all fine and dandy, leave me a comment, I like reassurance that people actually read this rubbish.
Woggzeh.
It's been hurting for weeks now and it's terrible at night, mainly because I sleep funny (see, I'm even funny when asleep) I sleep all askew, sometimes I think I sleep doing a headstand, but there is no proof to support my suggestion, so until there is proof then it's another fable, like the Yeti and Aliens and Graham Norton actually being funny; So that's that, I thought I would share that with you, as I know how much you care, not one fucking 'update' message for ages now, you guys really know how to piss me off.
So why haven't I blogged in a few weeks? well the truth is that I've had nothing to tell you, and I've been lazy and skint! fuck me have I been skint, I hate it when you put your hand in your pocket and can only feel your leg, I like to have a bit of folded or some coinage to reassure me that I have enough for a drink, and that's the reason I haven't blogged, because I've been too sober. Sobriety is a state that most people live in and do quite well, but it's a world where I don't work too well, I find it dark, damp and depressing, but like following someone into the toilet and ingesting the foul smell, I've had to suffer it recently, and as you will be aware, it's like a domino effect when you are skint for a while, bills pile up I.O.U's add up, so I don't know when I'll be back on my feet, but fuck it, I'm not going to wallow in self pity, it's not my thing, I'm far more likely to rob a bank, but I can't even afford a gun!
I ask you now, when was the last time you heard, 'Going Out' by Supergrass? I heard it on the radio the other day and was totally taken aback, how cool were their first two albums? they were ace, that's what they were! Sad thing is though is that I only have them on cassette (a what? I hear you cry) but yeah, I forgot about them and they are still going too, but ignore the new stuff (album three onwards) because it's a bit wanky.
I was going to write some more material for Collywogs bloggy blog but then I couldn't be bothered, I had some good ideas but that's as far as I got with it, seems to be a pattern in my life, idea>motivation>start>get bored>give up.
Lee has been updating his blog a lot more recently which is cool as he always writes good stuff unlike me, him and Lindsay have split up which is sad, always a hard time for any one, I don't know the details and it would be wrong of me to presume, so I won't. I hope they are both fine as I love both of them very much and hope to hear from them both soon.
Well, I think that should do for this update, I hope I have satisfied your need to read, I hope you are all fine and dandy, leave me a comment, I like reassurance that people actually read this rubbish.
Woggzeh.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Coniston 8th - 10th August
Friday:
I was never under any illusions that Paul's car was great and when he turned up at my house at a few minutes past nine, my heart sunk a little, it didn't matter how far it sunk in fairness, it would never sink as low as the cars suspension.
We managed to squeeze my stuff and myself into the car and somehow managed to get the car moving, slowly and surly we made it to the petrol station, where I picked up a newspaper. We set off in high spirits which were soon quashed when we got to the travellers rest and saw signs informing us that blubberhouses was closed and we would have to follow the diversions via Ilkley and Otley, which was pretty hairy as the roads are uphill and downhill and wind around blind corners, I was genuinely worried for the car, especially when it made a strange scraping noise whenever we went over a bump, we had to lean forwards going up the hills and pray the brakes still worked (which had begun to emit a bad smell) going down the hills.
The diversion added an hour to our journey and we arrived at Coniston around midday, we paid for our camping (£6 each a night) and set off to find Robin who had arrived about 20 minutes earlier, we couldn't find them so we decided, in all our wisdom, that we must have got there first so we looked for, and found, a great spot, but as I got out of the car I looked up and saw in the distance the unmistakeable looming figure that is Bradbury, he is 6 foot 12 and a half and it's difficult not to spot him, so we drove over to them said our hellos and set up camp, sadly this year, because they all had a head start on me, I wasn't first in getting my tent up, but I was quick and was soon sat in the baking hot sun with a beer.
After an hour or so, nature took it's course and I had to pop to the loo, which is quite a long way to walk, anyway, Trel and Paul decided to come too and the way the camp site is situated, the toilets are at the highest point and overlook the whole site, so when I got up there I look round and see Steve's car arrive, so I shout to him where we were pitched, (Steve! go left......no, your other left) us lot sorted ourselves out and returned to the others where Steve was pitching his pissy little tent(it's a single skin tent that cost him £5 from Tesco a couple of years ago) after about 30 seconds he was all ready and was sat having a beer and the general catching up talk that always goes on.
Beer was consumed and food was cooked and eaten, then Steve got his inflatable boats out of his car, we spent an hour pumping them both up with Bradders' squeaky foot pump (imagine the noise you'd get from an asthmatic hamster with a 40 a day smoking habit) then we all went down to the lake, I played on the rope swing till my knackers were hurting (45 seconds later) then watched and drank beer as Trel and Steve played in the boats and went to the buoy and back, Paul and Bradders went swimming, I had a paddle with Matt and Robin stayed on the beach, Matt decided to start a fire and having never been an arsonist as a child, fucked it up royally! he put green stuff on the pile and tried to light wet, fresh stuff, I had to help him out with some good advice and it started up but didn't last long as there wasn't much to burn, then Steve came to help and he is an expert at arson and got the thing rocking in seconds, after an hour or so down the beach we returned to our tents for more beer and food, I made beans and sausages and a pot noodle.
At about 7pm (after an hour of Robin whining that he wanted to go to the pub because Bradders had drunk all his beer) we set off to the Ship Inn, on the way, Robin informed us of a fact that if you pick a sheep up by it back legs and shake it about, it will die because it's innards aren't attached to anything (or something like that) naturally we all took the piss out of him for believing something that a five year old wouldn't even believe, he felt pretty stupid and spent the rest of the night googling it to find some proof over his statement (he didn't find anything, obviously) The Ship Inn charged us £3.00 for a Carling and £2.50 for an X.B (bitter) so I went on to the bitter, it's a nice pint until you get down to the final few mouthfuls and then it tastes like dishwater. We later set off into town, I needed a poo so I planned to stop at the public toilets next to the petrol station and drop the beast, but when I got in there, I went into the cubicle and looked down, there was this great big Henry the third (turd) staring right back at me, winking, I couldn't bring myself to bare my arse to this beast so I ran out (screaming) we went to the Crown and got a pint and went to their toilets for my first poo in Coniston (the bogs there are right nice) we all sat outside as it was a glorious evening and drained our pints before making a move to the Yewdale, we got our regular seat in the corner of the room and chatted and laughed, then on a table opposite me, this young lass and a load of old people sat down, they all had banjo cases and then, the little girl started playing hers, some George Formby tunes, we ignored her, then a few minutes later the whole fucking group started playing all their banjos and, I'll be fair, they were quite good and so we made the mistake of giving them a round of applause after their first song, which only seemed to encourage them, even Steve's relentless booing didn't deter them, the young girl (Francesca, a seven year old who had been on Britain's Got Talent) eventually played Duelling Banjos, and fuck me, she did a fantastic job of it, I had to clap at that effort, little shitbag!
Steve and Robin could take no more of the infernal noise that was being emitted from their table so we went to the Black Bull where I told my usual joke (black bull walks into a bar....) The beer was well expensive in here, Trelly paid £3.40 for a Carling and was so disgusted by the price he stole a jar of mustard to make up for it! We sat inside and Robin and Paul (clearly inebriated) decided to chat to each other which soon spiralled into a 'who can talk the loudest' competition, before there was a clear winner, me and Trelly went to sit outside, slightly embarrassed by the looks our group was getting because of the competition that was going on.
Eventually everyone else came outside and joined us, Matt started stroking a dog and it seemed to really enjoy whatever Matt was doing to it with his magic hands, then Matt stopped stroking it and it threw up, three times!
They called time and we mooched back towards the camp site, Trelly decided half way to go the short way over the fields, no one knew this way properly and it was dark and the grass was damp, but like true idiots, we all went that way, Steve decided he wanted to test Robins theory about killing a sheep and set off chasing them, quite why he ended up with his trousers around his ankles I don't know, and I would certainly hope he did it for comedy value only!
We got back and went down to the beach and found a group of dullards who were playing, 'I have never' we chatted to them for a bit, then Steve caught up with us, and within 30 seconds, he had taken his shirt off and convinced the group he had escaped from prison, the people were a bunch of teachers who were pretty boring so we buggered off and back to our tents and went to bed.
Saturday:
The pitter patter of rain woke me up, and I didn't want to get out of my bed, I had got a new camp bed for Christmas (£19.99 in the Argos catalogue) and it's the comfiest bed I've ever slept on, honestly it was!
I got up and stood in the rain before going back in my tent and reading my paper inside out three times, I shut my eyes for ten minutes, then me and Trelly went outside and found Steve in his car, his tent had flooded in the night and was useless, he had his heater on and was trying to dry his stuff, sitting in a tent on your own when it's raining isn't the best fun you can have, and everyone was bored so it was decided that we would drive into town and go to a cafe or pub, we went to Harry's cafe and had a cappuccino, after that we went to the Crown where I had my second poo of the camping weekend, we had a pint and were joined by Rob, Matt and Bradders, Rob and Matt ordered food and we had another pint, the rain subsided eventually and we went back to the camp site and sat outside drinking more beer, we all had some food and we just chilled for a few hours, Steve continued to dry his stuff out, I made the mistake of getting into his car at the time he had his wet socks draped over the heater vents, his car stank of wet socks, and I had to open the window, I nearly spewed.
Eventually Trelly and Paul joined us in the car and we drank beer and Steve rolled a funny cigarette that we all smoked, while Paul had the cigarette and had his arm out of the window a police car went by us, Paul panicked and gave the cigarette to Steve! (nice move), on the way back from it's journey round the site, the police car stopped right nest to us and a female officer got out to tell Steve off for having his engine running while consuming alcohol, she was taking deep nostrils full of air to see if she could smell anything illegal, but she couldn't smell anything, so she gave Steve a dressing down and went on her way, fair play, she could have nicked him, but let him off as he was polite and played it like you always should, (yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir).
We decided to go to the pub while it was still dry and we almost made it, we were about 200 metres from the Ship when the heavens opened, and rained so hard you couldn't see more than a few feet ahead of you, we got to the pub looking like drowned rats, luckily we found a table and sat down with our drinks and dried off, the rain stopped and so we risked our luck and went into town, Steve thought for some reason that we were going to the Yewdale so he went there and ordered a pint, we were all stood outside the Crown looking for him, so Trelly went and found him, he brought his pint with him and we all sat in the Crown all night, Robin put the jukebox on, but it was far too quiet to enjoy the music (not that I would have enjoyed his music choices anyway), It rained and lightened all the way back to the camp site, once again, Steve brought his pint with him, we got piss wet through and just had to accept it, we couldn't get any wetter, it was suggested that we should jump into the lake just to dry off a bit, but we didn't, we sat in Steve's car and drank more beer, eventually going to bed at about 1am, the rain and wind hammering against my tent, never mind, I had the worlds comfiest bed to protect me.
Sunday:
Got up at 9am (ish) and the rain and wind were being relentless, Matt ruined it by screaming to the Gods, "Is this all you've got?" clearly he upset the rain Gods and they made the weather worse, When Matt came around from his beating he put his tent away (we didn't beat him up, I just thought it sounded funnier that way), I struggled to put my tent away, it's a new tent and it's pretty big and the wind kept grabbing it, I broke down and launched into a torrent of swear words and abuse, it was ridiculous, eventually Paul gave me a hand and I got it packed up, (full of mud and rain) Paul and Trelly decided that they didn't want their tents any more and with the weather being so shit, they couldn't be bothered to take them down anyway, so they left them, as did Steve, who slept in his car last night.
We packed up Paul's car and it was lucky him and Trelly didn't have their tents as there was no space, it had fit perfectly on the way to Coniston, but now, as we rushed to pack up in the rain, it was even more full, anyway, we eventually got packed up and said our goodbyes to Steve (who sat in his car as we left for no reason at all, I bet you next year his tent looks suspiciously like Paul's old one).
We went to Ambleside and had breakfast at Daisy's I had the 8 item brekkers and it set me up for the day, then it was time for the return home, Paul's car did us proud and we made it home, I think we even got up to 45 MPH at one point, it's always a boring journey coming home, mainly because you are tired and just want to get back, into a nice hot bath and dry clothes which I did as soon as I got in, well, I had a a poo as soon as I got in and blocked the toilet! I didn't do one single poo on the camp site, I don't know why, I didn't plan it that way, it just happened.
Well, that's pretty much what happened this weekend, naturally I am sure I've missed loads of things, and that's what the comment box is for people, if you went with me and there's something you want logging, then don't say to me, "you should have wrote about this or that" write it yourself in the comment box.
I hope you've enjoyed the update, I'm actually glad there are no more trips planned now as these long blogs are becoming the bain of my life.
take care people
Woggzeh
P.S - Happy Birthday Kristy for Sunday.
I was never under any illusions that Paul's car was great and when he turned up at my house at a few minutes past nine, my heart sunk a little, it didn't matter how far it sunk in fairness, it would never sink as low as the cars suspension.
We managed to squeeze my stuff and myself into the car and somehow managed to get the car moving, slowly and surly we made it to the petrol station, where I picked up a newspaper. We set off in high spirits which were soon quashed when we got to the travellers rest and saw signs informing us that blubberhouses was closed and we would have to follow the diversions via Ilkley and Otley, which was pretty hairy as the roads are uphill and downhill and wind around blind corners, I was genuinely worried for the car, especially when it made a strange scraping noise whenever we went over a bump, we had to lean forwards going up the hills and pray the brakes still worked (which had begun to emit a bad smell) going down the hills.
The diversion added an hour to our journey and we arrived at Coniston around midday, we paid for our camping (£6 each a night) and set off to find Robin who had arrived about 20 minutes earlier, we couldn't find them so we decided, in all our wisdom, that we must have got there first so we looked for, and found, a great spot, but as I got out of the car I looked up and saw in the distance the unmistakeable looming figure that is Bradbury, he is 6 foot 12 and a half and it's difficult not to spot him, so we drove over to them said our hellos and set up camp, sadly this year, because they all had a head start on me, I wasn't first in getting my tent up, but I was quick and was soon sat in the baking hot sun with a beer.
After an hour or so, nature took it's course and I had to pop to the loo, which is quite a long way to walk, anyway, Trel and Paul decided to come too and the way the camp site is situated, the toilets are at the highest point and overlook the whole site, so when I got up there I look round and see Steve's car arrive, so I shout to him where we were pitched, (Steve! go left......no, your other left) us lot sorted ourselves out and returned to the others where Steve was pitching his pissy little tent(it's a single skin tent that cost him £5 from Tesco a couple of years ago) after about 30 seconds he was all ready and was sat having a beer and the general catching up talk that always goes on.
Beer was consumed and food was cooked and eaten, then Steve got his inflatable boats out of his car, we spent an hour pumping them both up with Bradders' squeaky foot pump (imagine the noise you'd get from an asthmatic hamster with a 40 a day smoking habit) then we all went down to the lake, I played on the rope swing till my knackers were hurting (45 seconds later) then watched and drank beer as Trel and Steve played in the boats and went to the buoy and back, Paul and Bradders went swimming, I had a paddle with Matt and Robin stayed on the beach, Matt decided to start a fire and having never been an arsonist as a child, fucked it up royally! he put green stuff on the pile and tried to light wet, fresh stuff, I had to help him out with some good advice and it started up but didn't last long as there wasn't much to burn, then Steve came to help and he is an expert at arson and got the thing rocking in seconds, after an hour or so down the beach we returned to our tents for more beer and food, I made beans and sausages and a pot noodle.
At about 7pm (after an hour of Robin whining that he wanted to go to the pub because Bradders had drunk all his beer) we set off to the Ship Inn, on the way, Robin informed us of a fact that if you pick a sheep up by it back legs and shake it about, it will die because it's innards aren't attached to anything (or something like that) naturally we all took the piss out of him for believing something that a five year old wouldn't even believe, he felt pretty stupid and spent the rest of the night googling it to find some proof over his statement (he didn't find anything, obviously) The Ship Inn charged us £3.00 for a Carling and £2.50 for an X.B (bitter) so I went on to the bitter, it's a nice pint until you get down to the final few mouthfuls and then it tastes like dishwater. We later set off into town, I needed a poo so I planned to stop at the public toilets next to the petrol station and drop the beast, but when I got in there, I went into the cubicle and looked down, there was this great big Henry the third (turd) staring right back at me, winking, I couldn't bring myself to bare my arse to this beast so I ran out (screaming) we went to the Crown and got a pint and went to their toilets for my first poo in Coniston (the bogs there are right nice) we all sat outside as it was a glorious evening and drained our pints before making a move to the Yewdale, we got our regular seat in the corner of the room and chatted and laughed, then on a table opposite me, this young lass and a load of old people sat down, they all had banjo cases and then, the little girl started playing hers, some George Formby tunes, we ignored her, then a few minutes later the whole fucking group started playing all their banjos and, I'll be fair, they were quite good and so we made the mistake of giving them a round of applause after their first song, which only seemed to encourage them, even Steve's relentless booing didn't deter them, the young girl (Francesca, a seven year old who had been on Britain's Got Talent) eventually played Duelling Banjos, and fuck me, she did a fantastic job of it, I had to clap at that effort, little shitbag!
Steve and Robin could take no more of the infernal noise that was being emitted from their table so we went to the Black Bull where I told my usual joke (black bull walks into a bar....) The beer was well expensive in here, Trelly paid £3.40 for a Carling and was so disgusted by the price he stole a jar of mustard to make up for it! We sat inside and Robin and Paul (clearly inebriated) decided to chat to each other which soon spiralled into a 'who can talk the loudest' competition, before there was a clear winner, me and Trelly went to sit outside, slightly embarrassed by the looks our group was getting because of the competition that was going on.
Eventually everyone else came outside and joined us, Matt started stroking a dog and it seemed to really enjoy whatever Matt was doing to it with his magic hands, then Matt stopped stroking it and it threw up, three times!
They called time and we mooched back towards the camp site, Trelly decided half way to go the short way over the fields, no one knew this way properly and it was dark and the grass was damp, but like true idiots, we all went that way, Steve decided he wanted to test Robins theory about killing a sheep and set off chasing them, quite why he ended up with his trousers around his ankles I don't know, and I would certainly hope he did it for comedy value only!
We got back and went down to the beach and found a group of dullards who were playing, 'I have never' we chatted to them for a bit, then Steve caught up with us, and within 30 seconds, he had taken his shirt off and convinced the group he had escaped from prison, the people were a bunch of teachers who were pretty boring so we buggered off and back to our tents and went to bed.
Saturday:
The pitter patter of rain woke me up, and I didn't want to get out of my bed, I had got a new camp bed for Christmas (£19.99 in the Argos catalogue) and it's the comfiest bed I've ever slept on, honestly it was!
I got up and stood in the rain before going back in my tent and reading my paper inside out three times, I shut my eyes for ten minutes, then me and Trelly went outside and found Steve in his car, his tent had flooded in the night and was useless, he had his heater on and was trying to dry his stuff, sitting in a tent on your own when it's raining isn't the best fun you can have, and everyone was bored so it was decided that we would drive into town and go to a cafe or pub, we went to Harry's cafe and had a cappuccino, after that we went to the Crown where I had my second poo of the camping weekend, we had a pint and were joined by Rob, Matt and Bradders, Rob and Matt ordered food and we had another pint, the rain subsided eventually and we went back to the camp site and sat outside drinking more beer, we all had some food and we just chilled for a few hours, Steve continued to dry his stuff out, I made the mistake of getting into his car at the time he had his wet socks draped over the heater vents, his car stank of wet socks, and I had to open the window, I nearly spewed.
Eventually Trelly and Paul joined us in the car and we drank beer and Steve rolled a funny cigarette that we all smoked, while Paul had the cigarette and had his arm out of the window a police car went by us, Paul panicked and gave the cigarette to Steve! (nice move), on the way back from it's journey round the site, the police car stopped right nest to us and a female officer got out to tell Steve off for having his engine running while consuming alcohol, she was taking deep nostrils full of air to see if she could smell anything illegal, but she couldn't smell anything, so she gave Steve a dressing down and went on her way, fair play, she could have nicked him, but let him off as he was polite and played it like you always should, (yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir).
We decided to go to the pub while it was still dry and we almost made it, we were about 200 metres from the Ship when the heavens opened, and rained so hard you couldn't see more than a few feet ahead of you, we got to the pub looking like drowned rats, luckily we found a table and sat down with our drinks and dried off, the rain stopped and so we risked our luck and went into town, Steve thought for some reason that we were going to the Yewdale so he went there and ordered a pint, we were all stood outside the Crown looking for him, so Trelly went and found him, he brought his pint with him and we all sat in the Crown all night, Robin put the jukebox on, but it was far too quiet to enjoy the music (not that I would have enjoyed his music choices anyway), It rained and lightened all the way back to the camp site, once again, Steve brought his pint with him, we got piss wet through and just had to accept it, we couldn't get any wetter, it was suggested that we should jump into the lake just to dry off a bit, but we didn't, we sat in Steve's car and drank more beer, eventually going to bed at about 1am, the rain and wind hammering against my tent, never mind, I had the worlds comfiest bed to protect me.
Sunday:
Got up at 9am (ish) and the rain and wind were being relentless, Matt ruined it by screaming to the Gods, "Is this all you've got?" clearly he upset the rain Gods and they made the weather worse, When Matt came around from his beating he put his tent away (we didn't beat him up, I just thought it sounded funnier that way), I struggled to put my tent away, it's a new tent and it's pretty big and the wind kept grabbing it, I broke down and launched into a torrent of swear words and abuse, it was ridiculous, eventually Paul gave me a hand and I got it packed up, (full of mud and rain) Paul and Trelly decided that they didn't want their tents any more and with the weather being so shit, they couldn't be bothered to take them down anyway, so they left them, as did Steve, who slept in his car last night.
We packed up Paul's car and it was lucky him and Trelly didn't have their tents as there was no space, it had fit perfectly on the way to Coniston, but now, as we rushed to pack up in the rain, it was even more full, anyway, we eventually got packed up and said our goodbyes to Steve (who sat in his car as we left for no reason at all, I bet you next year his tent looks suspiciously like Paul's old one).
We went to Ambleside and had breakfast at Daisy's I had the 8 item brekkers and it set me up for the day, then it was time for the return home, Paul's car did us proud and we made it home, I think we even got up to 45 MPH at one point, it's always a boring journey coming home, mainly because you are tired and just want to get back, into a nice hot bath and dry clothes which I did as soon as I got in, well, I had a a poo as soon as I got in and blocked the toilet! I didn't do one single poo on the camp site, I don't know why, I didn't plan it that way, it just happened.
Well, that's pretty much what happened this weekend, naturally I am sure I've missed loads of things, and that's what the comment box is for people, if you went with me and there's something you want logging, then don't say to me, "you should have wrote about this or that" write it yourself in the comment box.
I hope you've enjoyed the update, I'm actually glad there are no more trips planned now as these long blogs are becoming the bain of my life.
take care people
Woggzeh
P.S - Happy Birthday Kristy for Sunday.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Oh you make me feel alright, It's like the tippermost, toppermost high, Oh it's you - you do.
Who else forgot how good the Lightning Seeds were?
Well what reportage do I have for you this week from the world of the Wogg?
same old shit, same old gripes a week older and a week poorer.
I'll talk about Friday night because I went out and had a great time. First of all I went to the Alexandra (even though everyone knows it as Rat and Parrot) where I had a drink, Bullough was late because he fucked up catching a train, how you can fuck that up I don't know I guess he got distracted by a butterfly or something, so I had to sit on my own for half an hour drinking me pint, it's not too bad being on your own, I actually don't mind my own company so everything was good, he turned up eventually.
We chatted about this and that then I got a phone call from Jof, who was meant to meet us there, he had gone to the Coach and Horses, thinking it was the Rat and Parrot, silly sod, but he can be forgiven because he doesn't live here any more.
He eventually rocked up with his missus (Jenny), Rich Fee (who reads this blog) and woman (who's name I know, but suddenly I don't know it), the rest of the lads turned up and we had a good few drinks and set off down to Crabtrees where Jof has many fond memories, after that and picking up Fiona we went to Montey's for a Grolsch, and then we had to run to get to Har-Low-Gata, which used to be Edisons where Jof was educated about alcohol and he has lots of good memories there, Chris barker has memories from there too, but his are mostly all over the wall and floor.
Joffers, Jenny and Bullough had to catch the last train home, so they had a quick drink and did one ( I'd love to see Jof more often), we all went to Carringtons, which was OK, but not as fun as the week before (see last weeks post)
Saturday was a bit boring, I was going to go out in Leeds and surprise Jof, but I couldn't afford it as there has been a monumental fuck up regarding my wages, so I went to Trelly's instead.
Sunday is always boring and so I couldn't be bothered to update, I wasn't going to update today but I was bored.
Films I can recommend: Hancock, In Bruges and Wanted, I also watched, 'Son of Rambow' which was OK, but generally a bit meh.
That'll do for now.
Woggzeh
Well what reportage do I have for you this week from the world of the Wogg?
same old shit, same old gripes a week older and a week poorer.
I'll talk about Friday night because I went out and had a great time. First of all I went to the Alexandra (even though everyone knows it as Rat and Parrot) where I had a drink, Bullough was late because he fucked up catching a train, how you can fuck that up I don't know I guess he got distracted by a butterfly or something, so I had to sit on my own for half an hour drinking me pint, it's not too bad being on your own, I actually don't mind my own company so everything was good, he turned up eventually.
We chatted about this and that then I got a phone call from Jof, who was meant to meet us there, he had gone to the Coach and Horses, thinking it was the Rat and Parrot, silly sod, but he can be forgiven because he doesn't live here any more.
He eventually rocked up with his missus (Jenny), Rich Fee (who reads this blog) and woman (who's name I know, but suddenly I don't know it), the rest of the lads turned up and we had a good few drinks and set off down to Crabtrees where Jof has many fond memories, after that and picking up Fiona we went to Montey's for a Grolsch, and then we had to run to get to Har-Low-Gata, which used to be Edisons where Jof was educated about alcohol and he has lots of good memories there, Chris barker has memories from there too, but his are mostly all over the wall and floor.
Joffers, Jenny and Bullough had to catch the last train home, so they had a quick drink and did one ( I'd love to see Jof more often), we all went to Carringtons, which was OK, but not as fun as the week before (see last weeks post)
Saturday was a bit boring, I was going to go out in Leeds and surprise Jof, but I couldn't afford it as there has been a monumental fuck up regarding my wages, so I went to Trelly's instead.
Sunday is always boring and so I couldn't be bothered to update, I wasn't going to update today but I was bored.
Films I can recommend: Hancock, In Bruges and Wanted, I also watched, 'Son of Rambow' which was OK, but generally a bit meh.
That'll do for now.
Woggzeh
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I've got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.
I don't know what's been going on recently, I been alarmingly passive, and more laid back and totally out of character and there is no explanation for it other than I must be about to drop dead. I mean why else does my mind set go from cynical hatred-ness to nice, well I think it's called nice, I'm guessing that nobody else has noticed a change in me, why should you?, but I definitely have and it scares me.
So it's been a while since a blog update and that's because I've been lazy.
I decided to take a week off from blogging after the Prague one, which as I'm not paid or under any obligation to update, I thought was a good idea, so thanks for not moaning at me for not updating, certainly not the people's who's blogs I have in my links column anyway, that would be pot/kettle/black.
Nah, I just took some time, I was going to blog on Sunday just gone but I had a hangover, reason for the hangover was because on Saturday I had a school reunion, and I was expecting it to be a damp squib of bollocks mixed with alcohol and years of pent up hatred, I had images of a 'Royal Rumble' in my mind, I can tell you, but it was the complete opposite, I had fun, it was lovely to see some people again after all these years, the school wankers arrived and left early, presumably to go wank each other off over how they used to be like sooooooo cool.
the rest of the bunch were faces I kind of recognised but didn't really know enough about them to socialise, so that was their loss.
Everyone appears to be doing better than me and I soon got embarrassed by telling people I was a heating engineer, eventually resorting to bare faced lying and telling them that I lived in a bin and gave blowjobs for pennies.
The night took us to Monteys, P&P and Carringtons, I can't actually tell you much about 'Ringtons, because I was paralytic, but I spoke to Barry (who was with me) on the Sunday and I don't owe anyone an apology, so that's good.
The previous week, I had been ill, I had managed to contract tuberculosis, which I'm guessing I got from Trelly who got it from Robin, who had it while in Prague, well it's not TB, but it was a nasty fucking cough and cold and it really took it out of me, I've not been ill in ages, so I was shocked by the severity of this one, I swear I actually coughed up a lung in the night.
Shocking news is that Lee has updated his blog, changed his picture and updated his 'links' column, what's going on dude? efficiency? organisation? are you on drugs?
Sir Joffrey is visiting Harrogate on Friday evening with his fair maiden, during a world tour of Yorkshire, so it'll be great to see him, I last saw him just after my birthday last year, I talk to him all the time, so there is absolutely nothing to catch up on, I'm guessing he just wants a big old cuddle from a professional cuddler.
So yeah, that's it, if I missed anything out then tough, have a good un peoples, I'll try and update next Sunday and then the week after I am going to Coniston again (yay) so there will be another big fuck off update for me to spend hours writing and then you read in 4 seconds and don't bother to comment on.
Y' reet set of bastards ya!
Oh yeah, and Collywogs Bloggy Blog has gone on a permanent hiatus due to the fact no one liked it and it was a pain in the knacker to write all the time. So you ruined it people, not me, I might update it now and again, but really, what's the point?
Woggzeh.
So it's been a while since a blog update and that's because I've been lazy.
I decided to take a week off from blogging after the Prague one, which as I'm not paid or under any obligation to update, I thought was a good idea, so thanks for not moaning at me for not updating, certainly not the people's who's blogs I have in my links column anyway, that would be pot/kettle/black.
Nah, I just took some time, I was going to blog on Sunday just gone but I had a hangover, reason for the hangover was because on Saturday I had a school reunion, and I was expecting it to be a damp squib of bollocks mixed with alcohol and years of pent up hatred, I had images of a 'Royal Rumble' in my mind, I can tell you, but it was the complete opposite, I had fun, it was lovely to see some people again after all these years, the school wankers arrived and left early, presumably to go wank each other off over how they used to be like sooooooo cool.
the rest of the bunch were faces I kind of recognised but didn't really know enough about them to socialise, so that was their loss.
Everyone appears to be doing better than me and I soon got embarrassed by telling people I was a heating engineer, eventually resorting to bare faced lying and telling them that I lived in a bin and gave blowjobs for pennies.
The night took us to Monteys, P&P and Carringtons, I can't actually tell you much about 'Ringtons, because I was paralytic, but I spoke to Barry (who was with me) on the Sunday and I don't owe anyone an apology, so that's good.
The previous week, I had been ill, I had managed to contract tuberculosis, which I'm guessing I got from Trelly who got it from Robin, who had it while in Prague, well it's not TB, but it was a nasty fucking cough and cold and it really took it out of me, I've not been ill in ages, so I was shocked by the severity of this one, I swear I actually coughed up a lung in the night.
Shocking news is that Lee has updated his blog, changed his picture and updated his 'links' column, what's going on dude? efficiency? organisation? are you on drugs?
Sir Joffrey is visiting Harrogate on Friday evening with his fair maiden, during a world tour of Yorkshire, so it'll be great to see him, I last saw him just after my birthday last year, I talk to him all the time, so there is absolutely nothing to catch up on, I'm guessing he just wants a big old cuddle from a professional cuddler.
So yeah, that's it, if I missed anything out then tough, have a good un peoples, I'll try and update next Sunday and then the week after I am going to Coniston again (yay) so there will be another big fuck off update for me to spend hours writing and then you read in 4 seconds and don't bother to comment on.
Y' reet set of bastards ya!
Oh yeah, and Collywogs Bloggy Blog has gone on a permanent hiatus due to the fact no one liked it and it was a pain in the knacker to write all the time. So you ruined it people, not me, I might update it now and again, but really, what's the point?
Woggzeh.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Trip to Prague 10th - 13th July 2008
Wow, what a weekend, I'm not sure I can do Prague justice by what I write in this blog, the place is amazing, such a beautiful city and I want to go back right now!, so here we go, here's what I did this weekend:
Thursday:
I got really bored of sitting at home waiting until 2pm for our trip to East Midlands Airport so I buggered off to Robins place early, we eventually all gathered there and at 2pm on the dot, we set off (setting off on time must be a first for Robin!) the Journey was pretty uneventful, we picked Bullough up on the way and Paul had crab paste sandwiches which stunk the car out, (he got the crab paste from the chemist).
We arrived at E.M.A in good time and were thrilled to see that our flight had been delayed by an hour, I suppose it could have been worse but and hour can drag when you are stuck in an airport.
We eventually got on the plane and the take off was a dodgy affair, after driving round for about 15 minutes, the pilot told us that he had an emergency warning light flashing at him, but it's gone off now, (relief, but he should have lied to us and said there were fairies on the runway or something) then he took off and we hit turbulence immediately and the plane was shaking like mad, I honestly thought that we were going to fall out of the sky, I kept calm though, waiting for the pilot to scream, 'Brace Brace' which is the code for us to put our heads between our legs and kiss our arses goodbye!
We didn't die! it was a pretty good flight until the landing in which the pilot must have misjudged the runway because we hit the tarmac at such a speed the plane bounced down the runway, some people screamed, which was funny, we eventually got off the plane and collected our bags and got in the taxi to the apartments, which weren't that great, but it had everything we needed (apart from a decent lift) The taxi ride was quite funny because I was sat in the back and could witness everyone's heads twitching from side to side every time we passed a commercial area, and it was really funny because it was quite obvious that everyone was looking for their first glimpse of a Czech prostitute, (needn't have bothered, Wencelas Sq was full of them).
We threw the bags into our apartment, had a quick toilet break, and then straight out on the town and then it went mad!
Within 2 minutes of stepping out onto the square Matt had been asked if he wanted drugs, a prostitute and to go to a few bars by the annoying touts who follow you all over the place trying to get you to go to their pub, "you want titty bar?, we have beautiful women, touch them, do what you want to them, follow me" it's almost reminiscent of the scene from 'From Dusk till Dawn' where that bloke does that massive speech, 'pussy pussy pussy' it's just crazy, anyway we feel for it and went to some Irish bar and had our first drinks, which went down a treat, we stayed there for a couple and then left, we had to run the gauntlet again and the touts all followed us and chatted to us, We eventually left the square and Dave took us to a little bar that he knew and the beer was cheap, some of the group split up and went to a club, but the rest of us, chilled out and relaxed, before going to McDonalds for a burger and then home to bed at 4am!
Friday:
I woke up at 07:30 and not wanting to wake anyone up, I sat and read my Prague guides until 9am when I had to get up for some water and to use the toilet, we all met up a bit later and went to a cafe for breakfast, I had a full English and fresh orange juice (and when I say fresh, I mean wow, ferrrrrrresh!), it was in here that Pavla came to meet us, she was with her boyfriend Petr and it was lovely to see her again, we arranged to meet up later that evening and she would take us to Zlaty Strom (spelling is probably wrong), so she went to the zoo and we went to the Astronomical clock which looks amazing (it is worth noting that it was here that I saw, quite possibly, the most gorgeous woman in the world, in a very short skirt) we took pictures and carried on our way to the Charles bridge which was a very picturesque bridge, we walked across that, and then up a bloody great hill, (I forgot to mention that it was well over 30 degrees and I had a burned head and was sweating a lot) the walk was worth it though because we came to a cathedral and had a wander round that, then it was back down the hill to the nearest bar where we had a drink and watched a crazy pigeon run around our feet.
Somehow on the way back Trelly and myself got split up from the crowd and had to navigate the mean streets of Prague back to our hotel on our own, and this is the best thing, I had been there for less than 24 hours and I already felt that I knew the place inside out, needless to say, we ended up back at the astronomical clock and it was a simple walk up the road back to our digs, where I made an ice pack to cool my head down (it was now a big red beacon) the other rocked up about 20 minutes later, we all chillaxed and then we went to Tesco for some beers and food.
Having eaten a dodgy pizza it was almost 8pm, which was our rendezvous time to meet Pavla at the metro station (100 metres away from our front door) so we set off and had to run the gauntlet again, in that distance, in those two minutes, we were accosted 5 times! it was funny at first but they got really annoying.
Pavla arrives bang on time and takes us to get tickets and then takes us on a massive journey, up escalators, down steps, round the corner to wait for the train, we sit down and it takes off at about 100mph, we travel two stops and then go for a short walk to the pub, we passed the television tower on the way which had giant statues of babies climbing up it, it's a strange sight, but definitely not something you see everyday, we get to the pub, where Petr has saved us a table and has brought along his friend (who's name I can't remember but it translates to Wenceslas,* his name is Vaclav, I just spoke to Pavla) now this guy is funny! he works in the U.S embassy and speaks brilliant English and has a passion for Premier league football, so he chatted to us, and Pavla chatted to us, and I felt a bit sorry for Petr because he doesn't speak a lot of English so he couldn't really join in, needless to say, the drink prices in this part of town were dirt cheap (20CZK, which is about 66p) it was particularly good there because when you finish your drink the bar woman (right grumpy cow) brought you over another beer, you didn't need to leave your seat! amazing! anyway, we had 20+ drinks and wine for Pavla and our whole bill came to about £20 (maybe less) which is just brilliant, Pavla and Petr then took us back on the metro (Dave and Paul dodged paying their fare! naughty) to a club near the Charles bridge. I got Pavla to get me my drinks and was paying 28CZK for a pint where as the others were getting their own drinks and were paying three times as much, it's really cheeky to have local and tourist prices that are so expensive, but I guess there is nothing we can do about it. The bar had a dance floor which Pavla flocked to, and we had a wander to find a really cool bar which had 4 women dancing and stripping on the bar, so we stayed and had a look at that for a while.
We eventually all settled by the dance floor where Paul crashed and burned trying to chat up a local woman, (she wanted me) but that's Paul for you, game for anything. We eventually left the club at god knows when and went back to Wenceslas sq where Pavla got a chicken schnitzel and Paul got a dirty hot dog, we went back to the apartments and sat up and had another beer eventually getting to bed around 04:30 - 5am.
Saturday:
Robins 30th!
We get up around 10ish and Robin isn't in the best of moods, he had a bit of a cough that had kept him awake half the night and Paul's snoring kept him awake the other half.
It's decided that Birthday boy makes all the decisions, so we went on a boat trip from Charles Bridge, around the river and back, it was a good trip, our guide told us all about the history of the place and enjoyed a complimentary beer while we travelled, the guide showed us pictures of the flooding in 2002 where the water rose up 6 metres, which is crazily high, Bradbury asked the question, ''did you continue doing the tours?'' which has to go down as one of the most stupid questions I've ever heard.
With the boat trip done we headed through the old town square (eyeing up pretty ladies) and sat down for a drink outside a pub that was in the shade, some people had food, I chose not to bother as I was going to buy some from the shops later, after our drinks we headed towards the supermarket because the Byroms wanted to get Robin a cake and when they eventually found a nice chocolate one, it was a stealth operation to get it back to the apartments without Robin spotting it, which mainly consisted of Chris (not the smallest of blokes) trying to hide behind bus shelters, lamp posts and anything else at hand.
We relaxed in our apartments for a couple of hours before heading downstairs to the pizza restaurant and the big party dinner, I had a really tasty pizza, but I can't remember it's name, once we had all eaten then the waitresses brought out Robins cake and we all sang happy birthday to him, he got embarrassed, which was funny, and then we all had some cake and hit the town.
We went to a bar that was in an arcade kind of area, which also had a very strange statue of an upside down horse with the rider straddled across the belly of the horse, very strange indeed.
The bar was pretty cool and we managed to get a table , I say get a table, but Ian and Denise sat at a table where there was a little Czech guy (called Jez) sat on his own watching the ultimate fighting championships, he didn't speak a word of English and so when I spoke to him in Czech (what little I know) he seemed genuinely happy and replied, 'Dobre' which means 'good' so I was happy as Larry, after that pub we decide to go to one of the 'best' night clubs in Europe, it has five levels to it and is huge, it is also the hottest place I have ever been! I had sweat pissing from every pore on my body, my eyes were sweating as were my teeth, it was so uncomfortable, I could hardly breathe, I thought it was just me (being a fat bastard and all) but it wasn't me, nobody was enjoying themselves because they were too hot and couldn't breathe,. so we had a couple of drinks in there and did one double quick, On the way home we found a little bar that was lovely, it had a nice dance floor and a nice seating area, so we stayed there untill about 4am when we all set off home, Paul and myself decided to get a hot dog and in doing so lost every one, (Trelly said he was waiting for us, but I didn't see him) So we staggered towards our apartments and got stopped by one of these bloke, "you want titty bar?" we told him that we weren't interested then he said, "It's free entry" and I decided it would be rude not to go. So we went there and had a few drinks and totally lost track of time, (great girls, great shows!)
We had as much as we could drink and decided to creep back home only to get outside and discover that it was daylight! we were confused but also found it funny, we staggered home and even at that time some bloke tried to sell me cocaine, we got to our apartments but neither of us had a key, so we woke Trelly up by buzzing him, and he got annoyed and wouldn't let us in, luckily James Byrom was on the balcony and he buzzed us in, we eventually crashed at about 6am, check out was at midday, bollocks!
Sunday:
I woke up at about 10am and ran to the toilet, that hot dog had decided it wanted to exit my body via my colon and wasn't waiting any longer, if anyone was in the toilet then I would have dragged them out, luckily there wasn't!
it is fair to say I was feeling rough, I packed all my gear and we put it in a holding area and went for breakfast, which I skipped, settling for a coke instead.
I had arranged to meet Pavla and Petr at 1400 for some drinks and food, they took us shopping and Dave bough Hannah a necklace (it cost him £2000 - Just in case Hannah reads this, if she doesn't read this, then it was a bit less) then they took us to a cafe where I had a pasta salad, I managed about 5 spoonfuls and had to give up, stupid hangover! I had a pint to try and make it better, but went onto water after that.
the rain came down and cleared up, we went back to meet the others and said goodbye to Pavla, I'm sure she had tears in her eyes as we departed ( I know I did) it was really lovely to see her again and she hasn't changed a bit, her English is better too.
We met the lads at a sports bar for a couple of drinks before heading back to our apartments to await our taxi transfer, not before passing the Darling cabaret bar where they employ a crazy man to run around giving out fliers and telling us about the 'sexy midget, sexy midget' apparently he is a bit of a character and anyone who has been to Prague has seen him and will tell you that he's a hyperactive crazy bloke (sounds like me).
Prague airport is pretty unspectacular and small, and really by the time you are there, you have accepted that your holiday is over and just want to get home.
The plane left on time and was a good flight and a great landing, we saw fireworks going off as we flew over France which was cool.
Robin had to drive us all home after that, luckily the roads were clear as Robin kept jumping red lights, I eventually got through my front door at 2am, I made a cup of tea, had a sandwich and went to bed.
Monday:
Got up at 11am, wished I was still in Prague and started to write this blog and upload my photos to Facebook, I have to upload my pictures using the simple upload thing because when I use the Java application, it always crashes and fails, which is annoying.
There is nothing more to say other than, Thank you Robin for organising it all, than you everyone who came and made it what it was and Thank you people of the Czech Republic, I will be back soon, I've really fallen in love with the place, just one thing that I found disappointing is that I didn't see any cats! although I know where you can see a lot of pussys!
Thursday:
I got really bored of sitting at home waiting until 2pm for our trip to East Midlands Airport so I buggered off to Robins place early, we eventually all gathered there and at 2pm on the dot, we set off (setting off on time must be a first for Robin!) the Journey was pretty uneventful, we picked Bullough up on the way and Paul had crab paste sandwiches which stunk the car out, (he got the crab paste from the chemist).
We arrived at E.M.A in good time and were thrilled to see that our flight had been delayed by an hour, I suppose it could have been worse but and hour can drag when you are stuck in an airport.
We eventually got on the plane and the take off was a dodgy affair, after driving round for about 15 minutes, the pilot told us that he had an emergency warning light flashing at him, but it's gone off now, (relief, but he should have lied to us and said there were fairies on the runway or something) then he took off and we hit turbulence immediately and the plane was shaking like mad, I honestly thought that we were going to fall out of the sky, I kept calm though, waiting for the pilot to scream, 'Brace Brace' which is the code for us to put our heads between our legs and kiss our arses goodbye!
We didn't die! it was a pretty good flight until the landing in which the pilot must have misjudged the runway because we hit the tarmac at such a speed the plane bounced down the runway, some people screamed, which was funny, we eventually got off the plane and collected our bags and got in the taxi to the apartments, which weren't that great, but it had everything we needed (apart from a decent lift) The taxi ride was quite funny because I was sat in the back and could witness everyone's heads twitching from side to side every time we passed a commercial area, and it was really funny because it was quite obvious that everyone was looking for their first glimpse of a Czech prostitute, (needn't have bothered, Wencelas Sq was full of them).
We threw the bags into our apartment, had a quick toilet break, and then straight out on the town and then it went mad!
Within 2 minutes of stepping out onto the square Matt had been asked if he wanted drugs, a prostitute and to go to a few bars by the annoying touts who follow you all over the place trying to get you to go to their pub, "you want titty bar?, we have beautiful women, touch them, do what you want to them, follow me" it's almost reminiscent of the scene from 'From Dusk till Dawn' where that bloke does that massive speech, 'pussy pussy pussy' it's just crazy, anyway we feel for it and went to some Irish bar and had our first drinks, which went down a treat, we stayed there for a couple and then left, we had to run the gauntlet again and the touts all followed us and chatted to us, We eventually left the square and Dave took us to a little bar that he knew and the beer was cheap, some of the group split up and went to a club, but the rest of us, chilled out and relaxed, before going to McDonalds for a burger and then home to bed at 4am!
Friday:
I woke up at 07:30 and not wanting to wake anyone up, I sat and read my Prague guides until 9am when I had to get up for some water and to use the toilet, we all met up a bit later and went to a cafe for breakfast, I had a full English and fresh orange juice (and when I say fresh, I mean wow, ferrrrrrresh!), it was in here that Pavla came to meet us, she was with her boyfriend Petr and it was lovely to see her again, we arranged to meet up later that evening and she would take us to Zlaty Strom (spelling is probably wrong), so she went to the zoo and we went to the Astronomical clock which looks amazing (it is worth noting that it was here that I saw, quite possibly, the most gorgeous woman in the world, in a very short skirt) we took pictures and carried on our way to the Charles bridge which was a very picturesque bridge, we walked across that, and then up a bloody great hill, (I forgot to mention that it was well over 30 degrees and I had a burned head and was sweating a lot) the walk was worth it though because we came to a cathedral and had a wander round that, then it was back down the hill to the nearest bar where we had a drink and watched a crazy pigeon run around our feet.
Somehow on the way back Trelly and myself got split up from the crowd and had to navigate the mean streets of Prague back to our hotel on our own, and this is the best thing, I had been there for less than 24 hours and I already felt that I knew the place inside out, needless to say, we ended up back at the astronomical clock and it was a simple walk up the road back to our digs, where I made an ice pack to cool my head down (it was now a big red beacon) the other rocked up about 20 minutes later, we all chillaxed and then we went to Tesco for some beers and food.
Having eaten a dodgy pizza it was almost 8pm, which was our rendezvous time to meet Pavla at the metro station (100 metres away from our front door) so we set off and had to run the gauntlet again, in that distance, in those two minutes, we were accosted 5 times! it was funny at first but they got really annoying.
Pavla arrives bang on time and takes us to get tickets and then takes us on a massive journey, up escalators, down steps, round the corner to wait for the train, we sit down and it takes off at about 100mph, we travel two stops and then go for a short walk to the pub, we passed the television tower on the way which had giant statues of babies climbing up it, it's a strange sight, but definitely not something you see everyday, we get to the pub, where Petr has saved us a table and has brought along his friend (who's name I can't remember but it translates to Wenceslas,* his name is Vaclav, I just spoke to Pavla) now this guy is funny! he works in the U.S embassy and speaks brilliant English and has a passion for Premier league football, so he chatted to us, and Pavla chatted to us, and I felt a bit sorry for Petr because he doesn't speak a lot of English so he couldn't really join in, needless to say, the drink prices in this part of town were dirt cheap (20CZK, which is about 66p) it was particularly good there because when you finish your drink the bar woman (right grumpy cow) brought you over another beer, you didn't need to leave your seat! amazing! anyway, we had 20+ drinks and wine for Pavla and our whole bill came to about £20 (maybe less) which is just brilliant, Pavla and Petr then took us back on the metro (Dave and Paul dodged paying their fare! naughty) to a club near the Charles bridge. I got Pavla to get me my drinks and was paying 28CZK for a pint where as the others were getting their own drinks and were paying three times as much, it's really cheeky to have local and tourist prices that are so expensive, but I guess there is nothing we can do about it. The bar had a dance floor which Pavla flocked to, and we had a wander to find a really cool bar which had 4 women dancing and stripping on the bar, so we stayed and had a look at that for a while.
We eventually all settled by the dance floor where Paul crashed and burned trying to chat up a local woman, (she wanted me) but that's Paul for you, game for anything. We eventually left the club at god knows when and went back to Wenceslas sq where Pavla got a chicken schnitzel and Paul got a dirty hot dog, we went back to the apartments and sat up and had another beer eventually getting to bed around 04:30 - 5am.
Saturday:
Robins 30th!
We get up around 10ish and Robin isn't in the best of moods, he had a bit of a cough that had kept him awake half the night and Paul's snoring kept him awake the other half.
It's decided that Birthday boy makes all the decisions, so we went on a boat trip from Charles Bridge, around the river and back, it was a good trip, our guide told us all about the history of the place and enjoyed a complimentary beer while we travelled, the guide showed us pictures of the flooding in 2002 where the water rose up 6 metres, which is crazily high, Bradbury asked the question, ''did you continue doing the tours?'' which has to go down as one of the most stupid questions I've ever heard.
With the boat trip done we headed through the old town square (eyeing up pretty ladies) and sat down for a drink outside a pub that was in the shade, some people had food, I chose not to bother as I was going to buy some from the shops later, after our drinks we headed towards the supermarket because the Byroms wanted to get Robin a cake and when they eventually found a nice chocolate one, it was a stealth operation to get it back to the apartments without Robin spotting it, which mainly consisted of Chris (not the smallest of blokes) trying to hide behind bus shelters, lamp posts and anything else at hand.
We relaxed in our apartments for a couple of hours before heading downstairs to the pizza restaurant and the big party dinner, I had a really tasty pizza, but I can't remember it's name, once we had all eaten then the waitresses brought out Robins cake and we all sang happy birthday to him, he got embarrassed, which was funny, and then we all had some cake and hit the town.
We went to a bar that was in an arcade kind of area, which also had a very strange statue of an upside down horse with the rider straddled across the belly of the horse, very strange indeed.
The bar was pretty cool and we managed to get a table , I say get a table, but Ian and Denise sat at a table where there was a little Czech guy (called Jez) sat on his own watching the ultimate fighting championships, he didn't speak a word of English and so when I spoke to him in Czech (what little I know) he seemed genuinely happy and replied, 'Dobre' which means 'good' so I was happy as Larry, after that pub we decide to go to one of the 'best' night clubs in Europe, it has five levels to it and is huge, it is also the hottest place I have ever been! I had sweat pissing from every pore on my body, my eyes were sweating as were my teeth, it was so uncomfortable, I could hardly breathe, I thought it was just me (being a fat bastard and all) but it wasn't me, nobody was enjoying themselves because they were too hot and couldn't breathe,. so we had a couple of drinks in there and did one double quick, On the way home we found a little bar that was lovely, it had a nice dance floor and a nice seating area, so we stayed there untill about 4am when we all set off home, Paul and myself decided to get a hot dog and in doing so lost every one, (Trelly said he was waiting for us, but I didn't see him) So we staggered towards our apartments and got stopped by one of these bloke, "you want titty bar?" we told him that we weren't interested then he said, "It's free entry" and I decided it would be rude not to go. So we went there and had a few drinks and totally lost track of time, (great girls, great shows!)
We had as much as we could drink and decided to creep back home only to get outside and discover that it was daylight! we were confused but also found it funny, we staggered home and even at that time some bloke tried to sell me cocaine, we got to our apartments but neither of us had a key, so we woke Trelly up by buzzing him, and he got annoyed and wouldn't let us in, luckily James Byrom was on the balcony and he buzzed us in, we eventually crashed at about 6am, check out was at midday, bollocks!
Sunday:
I woke up at about 10am and ran to the toilet, that hot dog had decided it wanted to exit my body via my colon and wasn't waiting any longer, if anyone was in the toilet then I would have dragged them out, luckily there wasn't!
it is fair to say I was feeling rough, I packed all my gear and we put it in a holding area and went for breakfast, which I skipped, settling for a coke instead.
I had arranged to meet Pavla and Petr at 1400 for some drinks and food, they took us shopping and Dave bough Hannah a necklace (it cost him £2000 - Just in case Hannah reads this, if she doesn't read this, then it was a bit less) then they took us to a cafe where I had a pasta salad, I managed about 5 spoonfuls and had to give up, stupid hangover! I had a pint to try and make it better, but went onto water after that.
the rain came down and cleared up, we went back to meet the others and said goodbye to Pavla, I'm sure she had tears in her eyes as we departed ( I know I did) it was really lovely to see her again and she hasn't changed a bit, her English is better too.
We met the lads at a sports bar for a couple of drinks before heading back to our apartments to await our taxi transfer, not before passing the Darling cabaret bar where they employ a crazy man to run around giving out fliers and telling us about the 'sexy midget, sexy midget' apparently he is a bit of a character and anyone who has been to Prague has seen him and will tell you that he's a hyperactive crazy bloke (sounds like me).
Prague airport is pretty unspectacular and small, and really by the time you are there, you have accepted that your holiday is over and just want to get home.
The plane left on time and was a good flight and a great landing, we saw fireworks going off as we flew over France which was cool.
Robin had to drive us all home after that, luckily the roads were clear as Robin kept jumping red lights, I eventually got through my front door at 2am, I made a cup of tea, had a sandwich and went to bed.
Monday:
Got up at 11am, wished I was still in Prague and started to write this blog and upload my photos to Facebook, I have to upload my pictures using the simple upload thing because when I use the Java application, it always crashes and fails, which is annoying.
There is nothing more to say other than, Thank you Robin for organising it all, than you everyone who came and made it what it was and Thank you people of the Czech Republic, I will be back soon, I've really fallen in love with the place, just one thing that I found disappointing is that I didn't see any cats! although I know where you can see a lot of pussys!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Thorn in my side, You know thats all you ever were, A bundle of lies, You know thats all that it was worth..
Now then peeps.
Just trying to waste time at the moment because I'm going to Prague today and I've done everything I need to do and now I have a couple of hours to wait before going to Robins and getting a lift to the airport, so here I am.
Apologies about Sundays update it was a mixture of Hangover and well.. I had a hangover so I couldn't be arsed to blog.
Monday was my birthday, I got lots of nice things, thankfully I got pants too, I'd literally blown holes in all my others so now I'm happy, had a few drinks with Trel and Paul at lunchtime and then a few more drinks in the evening, Tuesday and Wednesday have bummed along at the speed of a dead snail, always the case when you are looking forward to something the days before drag and then the weekend will be over in the blink of an eye and before I know it I'll be round at Trelly's watching The Gadget Show saying, 'Is it Monday already?'
I really am excited about going away, I can't wait to leave all the shit in Harrogate and just go and have a good time with no worries, well, I say no worries, if you believe everything you read about Prague then I'll be lucky if I come home with any money/clothes/limbs! apparently Prague and especially the part we are in (Wenceslas sq) is reminiscent of London circa 1880 and the days of Oliver Twist and the street urchins running around lifting your wallet and other valuables, it would be all too easy to worry about what is around every corner and that'd ruin my trip, so as I generally don't worry, I'll have a good time.
Well I think that'll do for now, I will do a huge update when I return like I do for camping, I hope it will be satisfactory.
Take care people, have a good weekend, if you hear of a plane crashing this evening and it's travelling to Prague from East Midlands and this blog doesn't get updated then don't start fucking complaining!
Woggzeh
Just trying to waste time at the moment because I'm going to Prague today and I've done everything I need to do and now I have a couple of hours to wait before going to Robins and getting a lift to the airport, so here I am.
Apologies about Sundays update it was a mixture of Hangover and well.. I had a hangover so I couldn't be arsed to blog.
Monday was my birthday, I got lots of nice things, thankfully I got pants too, I'd literally blown holes in all my others so now I'm happy, had a few drinks with Trel and Paul at lunchtime and then a few more drinks in the evening, Tuesday and Wednesday have bummed along at the speed of a dead snail, always the case when you are looking forward to something the days before drag and then the weekend will be over in the blink of an eye and before I know it I'll be round at Trelly's watching The Gadget Show saying, 'Is it Monday already?'
I really am excited about going away, I can't wait to leave all the shit in Harrogate and just go and have a good time with no worries, well, I say no worries, if you believe everything you read about Prague then I'll be lucky if I come home with any money/clothes/limbs! apparently Prague and especially the part we are in (Wenceslas sq) is reminiscent of London circa 1880 and the days of Oliver Twist and the street urchins running around lifting your wallet and other valuables, it would be all too easy to worry about what is around every corner and that'd ruin my trip, so as I generally don't worry, I'll have a good time.
Well I think that'll do for now, I will do a huge update when I return like I do for camping, I hope it will be satisfactory.
Take care people, have a good weekend, if you hear of a plane crashing this evening and it's travelling to Prague from East Midlands and this blog doesn't get updated then don't start fucking complaining!
Woggzeh
Sunday, July 06, 2008
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker, and it does me good like it bloody well should.
well, went out last night, had a good drink,my birthday tomorrow, whoo hoo and all that, can't be arsed to blog, there will be no blog next week because I'm in Prague, so toodle ooh, will blog when I get back, one of those long boring fucking blogs that takes ages to write and everyone expects a great blog and I take it upon myself to write it and then you just fucking moan that it's not as good as it could have been, well you can fuck off my friend, because I write the blogs and you fucking read them, and if it's not up to standard, then write your fucking own!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, I'll be watching you.
Ok people, I'd better explain:
I've just been sat here writing for a whole ten minutes and this is the only line I'm going to use in this weeks Woggzeh's World update because for ten minutes I just realised I have written some material for my other blog (the one that no one mentions because it's crap), so now I have to come back to this page and start again and moan about me and my life not what else annoys me.
SO what have I been doing? fuck all! I went to a funeral on Wednesday and it was good, the Eulogy was read by a bloke I've known for years and it turns out that he's a very funny bloke, for the eulogy was the funniest thing I've ever heard (in a church anyway) the whole congregation were in hysterics even the vicar was impressed, even though it was really funny and good, I hope it's the last one I hear for a very long time, the wake was a great affair too, free bar! I ended up getting pissed, to say the least!
Finished the job at St Helens, ( I know you don't really care where I've been working and the jobs I've finished but come the end of the month and I'm writing out the wages invoice, this little blog comes in very handy, plus it gives me great satisfaction to read my own words and laugh at my own jokes again, lol ego mania!)
Last night was spent at Robins and we played Poker (not for real money, poker chips), which was fun and I think I was holding my own pretty well, but it started getting late, I had a bit of a head ache and so I tried to lose and you know my luck, I kept bloody winning, nay mind, I lost it all eventually and went home happy, I just have to mention for Matt's sake, his joke that he wanted me to blog, "It's ten to call, hahaha tentacle, haha ten-to-call ha ten-ta-cle"
It's my dads birthday today, he's older than me, so happy b'day dad, he'll never read this unless they print it off and add it to a really old black and white film with Jimmy Cagney.
Prague in less than a fortnight and I'm looking forward to it, if not least just getting away from it all, it'll be nice.
I'm addicted to a football manager game called Soccer Manager and I've managed to rope Trelly, Robin and Matt into it and they seem to enjoy it too (well Trelly is addicted too) so I've added the link, sign up and give it a go, if you want to join my league then I am in the set up "World Championship 157"
Oh yeah, as it's my birthday on a Monday and we go to Prague the following Thursday, I'm thinking of going out to town on Saturday 5th July for a few drinks, (nowt special) if anyone fancies it. (no? really?, I'll go on me fucking own then.)
That'll do, catch you all later.
Woggzeh
I've just been sat here writing for a whole ten minutes and this is the only line I'm going to use in this weeks Woggzeh's World update because for ten minutes I just realised I have written some material for my other blog (the one that no one mentions because it's crap), so now I have to come back to this page and start again and moan about me and my life not what else annoys me.
SO what have I been doing? fuck all! I went to a funeral on Wednesday and it was good, the Eulogy was read by a bloke I've known for years and it turns out that he's a very funny bloke, for the eulogy was the funniest thing I've ever heard (in a church anyway) the whole congregation were in hysterics even the vicar was impressed, even though it was really funny and good, I hope it's the last one I hear for a very long time, the wake was a great affair too, free bar! I ended up getting pissed, to say the least!
Finished the job at St Helens, ( I know you don't really care where I've been working and the jobs I've finished but come the end of the month and I'm writing out the wages invoice, this little blog comes in very handy, plus it gives me great satisfaction to read my own words and laugh at my own jokes again, lol ego mania!)
Last night was spent at Robins and we played Poker (not for real money, poker chips), which was fun and I think I was holding my own pretty well, but it started getting late, I had a bit of a head ache and so I tried to lose and you know my luck, I kept bloody winning, nay mind, I lost it all eventually and went home happy, I just have to mention for Matt's sake, his joke that he wanted me to blog, "It's ten to call, hahaha tentacle, haha ten-to-call ha ten-ta-cle"
It's my dads birthday today, he's older than me, so happy b'day dad, he'll never read this unless they print it off and add it to a really old black and white film with Jimmy Cagney.
Prague in less than a fortnight and I'm looking forward to it, if not least just getting away from it all, it'll be nice.
I'm addicted to a football manager game called Soccer Manager and I've managed to rope Trelly, Robin and Matt into it and they seem to enjoy it too (well Trelly is addicted too) so I've added the link, sign up and give it a go, if you want to join my league then I am in the set up "World Championship 157"
Oh yeah, as it's my birthday on a Monday and we go to Prague the following Thursday, I'm thinking of going out to town on Saturday 5th July for a few drinks, (nowt special) if anyone fancies it. (no? really?, I'll go on me fucking own then.)
That'll do, catch you all later.
Woggzeh
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I broke a thousand hearts Before I met you, I'll break a thousand more Baby Before I am through.
Hello.
Friends, Romans Countrymen, lend me your ears....
It's time for the weekly moan about it being Sunday and I'm doing my update, well let me start by telling you that my eye is all better, and there should be no long term damage, although I do have a little scar on my eye that will go eventually but for the moment makes a little line of blur on everything I look at, still, could be worse.
Went out for drinks with Kristy on Monday, which was nice, she's had two operations to remove a couple of small tattoos on her wrists and so she is in bandages and can't use her hands very well, which is hilarious as she's technically a cripple, a fact I reminded her about at every opportunity.
Started a job in St Helens, on Tuesday and it's a cracking job, one of those jobs that just goes right, but sadly it'll be over in a few more days.
A dear friend of the family passed away on Tuesday, so I have a funeral to go to on Wednesday, which I'm not really looking forward to, but then again, who does look forward to such things?
Top Gear is back tonight and I am sitting here, shaking with excitement, it's been away for too long, and the sad thing is it's only going to be on for six episodes then it'll be gone again, I find with Top Gear it's the 'pick me up' that you need to get you through the week ahead, it certainly makes Mondays more bearable, mainly because you have a new topic of conversation other than how munted you got on Saturday night.
My tips for Euro 2008 are out of the running, which sucks, I went for Czech Rep, and secondly Holland, but they lost, like losers, so who's left? Germany, Turkey, Russia and either Spain or Italy (at the time of writing this) so who do I want to win? None of them, I'll go for Spain because I've been there, but with me backing them, that means they will lose, so, on that mentality, I'll also support Germany, and see the krauts go out and back to their piss poor miserable blonde ugly lives.
Stick a fork in me because I'm done. Gotta go write some more crap for my other blog now.
Take it easy people.
Woggzeh.
Friends, Romans Countrymen, lend me your ears....
It's time for the weekly moan about it being Sunday and I'm doing my update, well let me start by telling you that my eye is all better, and there should be no long term damage, although I do have a little scar on my eye that will go eventually but for the moment makes a little line of blur on everything I look at, still, could be worse.
Went out for drinks with Kristy on Monday, which was nice, she's had two operations to remove a couple of small tattoos on her wrists and so she is in bandages and can't use her hands very well, which is hilarious as she's technically a cripple, a fact I reminded her about at every opportunity.
Started a job in St Helens, on Tuesday and it's a cracking job, one of those jobs that just goes right, but sadly it'll be over in a few more days.
A dear friend of the family passed away on Tuesday, so I have a funeral to go to on Wednesday, which I'm not really looking forward to, but then again, who does look forward to such things?
Top Gear is back tonight and I am sitting here, shaking with excitement, it's been away for too long, and the sad thing is it's only going to be on for six episodes then it'll be gone again, I find with Top Gear it's the 'pick me up' that you need to get you through the week ahead, it certainly makes Mondays more bearable, mainly because you have a new topic of conversation other than how munted you got on Saturday night.
My tips for Euro 2008 are out of the running, which sucks, I went for Czech Rep, and secondly Holland, but they lost, like losers, so who's left? Germany, Turkey, Russia and either Spain or Italy (at the time of writing this) so who do I want to win? None of them, I'll go for Spain because I've been there, but with me backing them, that means they will lose, so, on that mentality, I'll also support Germany, and see the krauts go out and back to their piss poor miserable blonde ugly lives.
Stick a fork in me because I'm done. Gotta go write some more crap for my other blog now.
Take it easy people.
Woggzeh.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Doing all I can do, just to be close to you. Every time that we meet, I skip a heartbeat. Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Now then peeps, mah homies, mah dawgs.
How are we all doing?
Well, as I'm sad enough to blog each week, here is your weekly instalment, and what a shit week it's been.
It started off rubbish because I was in Liverpool, a place which I hate with a passion, and the people in it can all go to hell, because it's rubbish, the scum of the earth, And somehow, it's the culture capital 2008, honestly, which ever prick voted for Liverpool needs his bollocks smashing into the ground with a JCB, I honestly believe that you'd have a better chance finding Madeline McCann before you find culture in Liverpool, it's a shit hole.
On Wednesday, I developed a sore throat and the sniffles, which turned into full blown Man flu by Thursday and I had to take the day off, which was a shame because we could have finished the job in Liverpool, but alas, I was at home, with a runny nose and man flu MK2, which no woman would understand, but believe me, it's bad, it's a known fact that men get colds and flu virus's worse than women do, because we usually work through the cold that you would take a year off work for, and so you don't believe us when the real bad boy comes a knocking on our immune system with an AK-47 and lurgi spray.
Friday the 13th, I am back at work and it was shit, we were on a mission to finish the job and were going well until at about 10:30am, I was up a scaffold and I turned around and a wire hanger went straight into my eye, "oh my word, how terribly painful" were not my words at the time, but something similar was screamed by me, my eye was pissing out water, and the pain barrier was fucking bad! anyway, I decided that it'd get better in an hour and continued working, it didn't get better, but I finished the days work and then went straight home to hospital, (reason being that I didn't want to spend three hours in a Liverpool hospital) so I got home and spent three hours in Harrogate hospital, where I was treated and had the red dye in my eye that dribbled down my face and stained me and my beard, but the good news is, while the pain will last a few days, I will not lose my eye sight, and today I'm not in much pain, (although most of you would say the pain I'm in now is excruciating, I'm fine with it) I can't see properly through my eye it's all a blur, but I reckon that it'll be fine when I go see the eye specialist tomorrow.
Collywogs bloggy blog is still up and running and I think that it's only Bullough who reads it, I'm thinking of turning it into a bi-weekly, because I'm running out of material and can't find the time to write more, what do you think? what days would you prefer if it went bi weekly?
I'm sure I had loads to write but it turns out I don't, I tried a 24p Chicken and Mushroom pot noodle from Asda t'other day, and it was pants, so I swamped it with soy sauce and it was reet nice, so I'll be buying more of them and trying new and inventive ways to make them better, I might even post the results here, for my entertainment.
Anyway, gotta go, my Niece is coming over to play.
Toodle ooh.
Woggzeh
How are we all doing?
Well, as I'm sad enough to blog each week, here is your weekly instalment, and what a shit week it's been.
It started off rubbish because I was in Liverpool, a place which I hate with a passion, and the people in it can all go to hell, because it's rubbish, the scum of the earth, And somehow, it's the culture capital 2008, honestly, which ever prick voted for Liverpool needs his bollocks smashing into the ground with a JCB, I honestly believe that you'd have a better chance finding Madeline McCann before you find culture in Liverpool, it's a shit hole.
On Wednesday, I developed a sore throat and the sniffles, which turned into full blown Man flu by Thursday and I had to take the day off, which was a shame because we could have finished the job in Liverpool, but alas, I was at home, with a runny nose and man flu MK2, which no woman would understand, but believe me, it's bad, it's a known fact that men get colds and flu virus's worse than women do, because we usually work through the cold that you would take a year off work for, and so you don't believe us when the real bad boy comes a knocking on our immune system with an AK-47 and lurgi spray.
Friday the 13th, I am back at work and it was shit, we were on a mission to finish the job and were going well until at about 10:30am, I was up a scaffold and I turned around and a wire hanger went straight into my eye, "oh my word, how terribly painful" were not my words at the time, but something similar was screamed by me, my eye was pissing out water, and the pain barrier was fucking bad! anyway, I decided that it'd get better in an hour and continued working, it didn't get better, but I finished the days work and then went straight home to hospital, (reason being that I didn't want to spend three hours in a Liverpool hospital) so I got home and spent three hours in Harrogate hospital, where I was treated and had the red dye in my eye that dribbled down my face and stained me and my beard, but the good news is, while the pain will last a few days, I will not lose my eye sight, and today I'm not in much pain, (although most of you would say the pain I'm in now is excruciating, I'm fine with it) I can't see properly through my eye it's all a blur, but I reckon that it'll be fine when I go see the eye specialist tomorrow.
Collywogs bloggy blog is still up and running and I think that it's only Bullough who reads it, I'm thinking of turning it into a bi-weekly, because I'm running out of material and can't find the time to write more, what do you think? what days would you prefer if it went bi weekly?
I'm sure I had loads to write but it turns out I don't, I tried a 24p Chicken and Mushroom pot noodle from Asda t'other day, and it was pants, so I swamped it with soy sauce and it was reet nice, so I'll be buying more of them and trying new and inventive ways to make them better, I might even post the results here, for my entertainment.
Anyway, gotta go, my Niece is coming over to play.
Toodle ooh.
Woggzeh
Sunday, June 08, 2008
When the moon hits your eye, Like a big-a pizza pie, That's amore
Hello Everybody.
I'm writing this with a headache, well actually I'm writing this with my fingers, but I've got a headache, reason behind said headache is Matt's birthday last night which was fun, we went to P&P which was a bit pants to be honest but because we are a resourceful bunch we made our own fun which resulted in us consuming nearly all of the helium balloons and making each other laugh, most of us were content after one or two goes but Paul went and ate the lot, he's now addicted to helium and is on patches to curb his addiction.
We ended up in Carringtons (oh man, 'ringtons is buzzin') which I'm happy to say was ace, it had half price drinks until midnight, which I took full advantage of, (at one point I had four bottles of WKD Orange) and then the music caught my attention like a cute blonde in a short skirt would catch my attention, and I just had to dance, now for people who don't know me, I am a seriously good dancer, I can really bust some moves, and to be honest I was disappointed in the way the rest of the lads were dancing, so they needed showing how it's done, with tunes like 'I am the one and only' and a selection of Status Quo hits, I was in my stride and ripping up the dance floor like a man possessed, and everyone was amazed at my ability (they might have been amazed at the flood of sweat that was dripping from my head, but I'm confident it was the dancing they liked).
I left the club at about 1:30, having done all I could to teach the little people how to dance, and today I am deaf, I have that buzzing, dense feeling in my ears that you get when you have been near a speaker in a club all night, which sucks.
Yesterday day was another talking point, Bullough had managed to con us (Trelly, Robin and me) into being his removal men, so we turned up and lugged his stuff from his old flat to his new house (nice gaff btw) and then he bought us lunch and casually reminded us that our beers (payment) had been left at his house, so we missed out there! nay mind.
the week since I last spoke to you guys has been pretty unremarkable, Big Brother is back and full of dullards, we (Trelly Robin and Paul) had a sweepstake and picked our contestants to support by choosing a number (1-16) before they went in the house, I chose number 7, which is some black lass, who isn't bad, she's a god botherer but I have a good chance, Trelly got a gay dancer from Scotland, and we actually believe that his horse will come third, and Paul got another black lass with 'attitude' so I might be on a winner here, I wish I had picked number 5 because the lass who went in is hot and quite funny, another person to mention is the 'mad Nancy lam' character who should be worth watching, as she seems mad as a hatter.
well, I'm bored, I'm tired, Euro 2008 kicked off yesterday with a very crap match, but I'm still backing the Czech Rep to win. so there.
Toodle Ooh
Woggzeh
I'm writing this with a headache, well actually I'm writing this with my fingers, but I've got a headache, reason behind said headache is Matt's birthday last night which was fun, we went to P&P which was a bit pants to be honest but because we are a resourceful bunch we made our own fun which resulted in us consuming nearly all of the helium balloons and making each other laugh, most of us were content after one or two goes but Paul went and ate the lot, he's now addicted to helium and is on patches to curb his addiction.
We ended up in Carringtons (oh man, 'ringtons is buzzin') which I'm happy to say was ace, it had half price drinks until midnight, which I took full advantage of, (at one point I had four bottles of WKD Orange) and then the music caught my attention like a cute blonde in a short skirt would catch my attention, and I just had to dance, now for people who don't know me, I am a seriously good dancer, I can really bust some moves, and to be honest I was disappointed in the way the rest of the lads were dancing, so they needed showing how it's done, with tunes like 'I am the one and only' and a selection of Status Quo hits, I was in my stride and ripping up the dance floor like a man possessed, and everyone was amazed at my ability (they might have been amazed at the flood of sweat that was dripping from my head, but I'm confident it was the dancing they liked).
I left the club at about 1:30, having done all I could to teach the little people how to dance, and today I am deaf, I have that buzzing, dense feeling in my ears that you get when you have been near a speaker in a club all night, which sucks.
Yesterday day was another talking point, Bullough had managed to con us (Trelly, Robin and me) into being his removal men, so we turned up and lugged his stuff from his old flat to his new house (nice gaff btw) and then he bought us lunch and casually reminded us that our beers (payment) had been left at his house, so we missed out there! nay mind.
the week since I last spoke to you guys has been pretty unremarkable, Big Brother is back and full of dullards, we (Trelly Robin and Paul) had a sweepstake and picked our contestants to support by choosing a number (1-16) before they went in the house, I chose number 7, which is some black lass, who isn't bad, she's a god botherer but I have a good chance, Trelly got a gay dancer from Scotland, and we actually believe that his horse will come third, and Paul got another black lass with 'attitude' so I might be on a winner here, I wish I had picked number 5 because the lass who went in is hot and quite funny, another person to mention is the 'mad Nancy lam' character who should be worth watching, as she seems mad as a hatter.
well, I'm bored, I'm tired, Euro 2008 kicked off yesterday with a very crap match, but I'm still backing the Czech Rep to win. so there.
Toodle Ooh
Woggzeh
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Used to be so easy to give my heart away, but I found out the hard way, there's a price you have to pay.
Now then peeps.
Sunday again, I'm sure that Sunday comes round quicker than any other day of the week, and I'm sure it's not as long as any other day of the week because before you know what day it is, it's Monday and you are back at work.
So I'm working in Liverpool again, and I'm genuinely worried that I might start talking Scouse and nicking everything that isn't nailed down, Hopefully I'll not be there long, then I think I have a job coming up in Darlington.
My computer is giving me nightmares, it's just the fact that it's so old it can't keep up, I also think that it might need to be formatted, I might ask Trellys advice, he formats his computer every week, it runs so slowly, even when I'm typing this blog, it takes forever, I've actully taken to writing everything out on my laptop and transferring the text over to here, because my laptop is better than this computer, which brings me nicely to a question, is there anyway I can connect to the internet via USB? because my lappy doesn't have an internet hole, it has a phone line hole and usb, so if anyone knows of some Heath Robinson contraption that allows me to get internetted via usb, then please let me know.
EDIT: just been looking at wireless internet usb dongles, you can even get pay as you go instead of a monthly contract, however my lappy only has windows 98, and the minimum spec for the dongle things is Windows 2000, so if anyone has win2000 on floppy disk then let me know (my lappy doesn't have a cd drive).
I was going to talk about Graham 'Fucking' Norton here, but I've decided to save that for a Colywogs Blogy Blog.
I was talking to Jof about Eurovision and he's well up for it, he reckons his brother will do it too, so all we need now is a bassist, which is shit because all bassists are bastards and you have to temp them to join the band with food and shiny objects, I also need to find out how to apply for auditions to show the judges how good I am and they choose me to represent the UK, so if any of you get bored and fancy finding out the process then let me know.
Fuck me, this is turning into a 'you do the leg work and I'll do fuck all'
I re registered my pen friend advert the other week and now I'm over run by emails from people (mainly girls, attractive girls too) who want to write to me, which is cool, but it takes up loads of my time, and I really hate the introductory emails, where you tell them what you like, films, music and partying, which is stupid because EVERYONE loves those things, so it's really a no brainer, but in true Woggzeh style I can drag out those three topics into 5 paragraphs, so it looks like I'm really cool and clever.
Some dancing kid won Britains got talent, which is alright I supose, I got confused by the show initially, you see I grew my toe nails really long because I thought it was called Britains got talons, but I soon realised my mistake when I went to the auditions, it didn't matter though because I gave them a false name (D.Bullough).
Anyway, I'm done for this week, gotta go write some material for C.B.B.
take care
Jof (4th June I think), Stacey (6th June I think) and Matt (4th June I think) are all celebrating their birthdays this week, so congratulations, many happy returns, all that bollocks, have a great time.
Stay Lucky
Woggzeh
Sunday again, I'm sure that Sunday comes round quicker than any other day of the week, and I'm sure it's not as long as any other day of the week because before you know what day it is, it's Monday and you are back at work.
So I'm working in Liverpool again, and I'm genuinely worried that I might start talking Scouse and nicking everything that isn't nailed down, Hopefully I'll not be there long, then I think I have a job coming up in Darlington.
My computer is giving me nightmares, it's just the fact that it's so old it can't keep up, I also think that it might need to be formatted, I might ask Trellys advice, he formats his computer every week, it runs so slowly, even when I'm typing this blog, it takes forever, I've actully taken to writing everything out on my laptop and transferring the text over to here, because my laptop is better than this computer, which brings me nicely to a question, is there anyway I can connect to the internet via USB? because my lappy doesn't have an internet hole, it has a phone line hole and usb, so if anyone knows of some Heath Robinson contraption that allows me to get internetted via usb, then please let me know.
EDIT: just been looking at wireless internet usb dongles, you can even get pay as you go instead of a monthly contract, however my lappy only has windows 98, and the minimum spec for the dongle things is Windows 2000, so if anyone has win2000 on floppy disk then let me know (my lappy doesn't have a cd drive).
I was going to talk about Graham 'Fucking' Norton here, but I've decided to save that for a Colywogs Blogy Blog.
I was talking to Jof about Eurovision and he's well up for it, he reckons his brother will do it too, so all we need now is a bassist, which is shit because all bassists are bastards and you have to temp them to join the band with food and shiny objects, I also need to find out how to apply for auditions to show the judges how good I am and they choose me to represent the UK, so if any of you get bored and fancy finding out the process then let me know.
Fuck me, this is turning into a 'you do the leg work and I'll do fuck all'
I re registered my pen friend advert the other week and now I'm over run by emails from people (mainly girls, attractive girls too) who want to write to me, which is cool, but it takes up loads of my time, and I really hate the introductory emails, where you tell them what you like, films, music and partying, which is stupid because EVERYONE loves those things, so it's really a no brainer, but in true Woggzeh style I can drag out those three topics into 5 paragraphs, so it looks like I'm really cool and clever.
Some dancing kid won Britains got talent, which is alright I supose, I got confused by the show initially, you see I grew my toe nails really long because I thought it was called Britains got talons, but I soon realised my mistake when I went to the auditions, it didn't matter though because I gave them a false name (D.Bullough).
Anyway, I'm done for this week, gotta go write some material for C.B.B.
take care
Jof (4th June I think), Stacey (6th June I think) and Matt (4th June I think) are all celebrating their birthdays this week, so congratulations, many happy returns, all that bollocks, have a great time.
Stay Lucky
Woggzeh
Sunday, May 25, 2008
We love this exaltation (woh oh, o-o-o-oh), We want the new temptations (woh oh, o-o-o-oh), It's like a revelation (woh oh, o-o-o-oh).
Ey up.
I'm loving this song at the moment, it's by Alphabeat and it's called Fascination, it's just really cool and boppy, I've heard a few other songs by them and I like them too, but this one stands out head and shoulders above the rest.
Now I've managed to devise a dance for this song and I'm going to teach you all how it should be done, I made it up as I was walking down the street with this song on my MP3 player, and it was then that I realise that I'd cracked it, I was a dancing god!!! so here is what you do:
1 - Place left arm straight up in the air with your hand in a fist.
2 - Whilst hand is in the air, raise your right knee so you are balancing on one leg.
3 - During the intro, you nod your head.
4 - when it kicks in, you must put a huge grin on your face.
5 - then you hop to your right foot bringing your left knee up while at the same time, bringing your left arm down and sending your right arm up with your hand in a fist.
6 - Repeat all the way through the song.
I'm telling you, it's brilliant, and the most important bit is the grin, it must be genuine and if you do the dance moves right then the grin will be genuine, go try it.
I got a new tent this week which is cool, Argos have a half price sale on so I got a 4 man tent for £21:99, I needed a new one because my camping bed didn't fit in my old one, anyway, I put it up in my garden and I notice a big bloody rip in the groundsheet, which is bloody annoying so I had to take it back and replace it, I'll be fair to Argos here, they didn't ask any questions or fuck me about, which is what I expected, no, they changed it and I now have a tent with no holes in it, which I'm happy about, so well done Argos for your good customer service.
Last night was the Eurovision Song Contest and we had a dilemma, a BIG dilemma, because the boxing was on too, Ricky Hatton was on box office and we all wanted to watch that too, so we watched Eurovision until 9:45 and then Robin found an internet site that was streaming the fight, for free!! so as it happened, the night of Saturday 24th May, six lads sat in Robins front room, huddled round a laptop watching the boxing while also keeping an eye on the Eurovison voting results on a 42 inch screen!! Brilliant!!
I'd also like to mention that Greece were robbed and Russia won, which all comes down to the political voting bollocks again, I mean the Greeks should have won because they had this woman:
And I think you'll agree, she is gorgeous (I've stored a few images up in the old wank bank), although there was a lot of good looking birds performing and well done to them too, I am however considering writing a song and entering myself for next years Eurovison, who thinks I should do that?
Also Collywogs bloggy blog is doing well, have you noticed though, this blog here has a higher rating, which I think is strange.
Woggzeh
I'm loving this song at the moment, it's by Alphabeat and it's called Fascination, it's just really cool and boppy, I've heard a few other songs by them and I like them too, but this one stands out head and shoulders above the rest.
Now I've managed to devise a dance for this song and I'm going to teach you all how it should be done, I made it up as I was walking down the street with this song on my MP3 player, and it was then that I realise that I'd cracked it, I was a dancing god!!! so here is what you do:
1 - Place left arm straight up in the air with your hand in a fist.
2 - Whilst hand is in the air, raise your right knee so you are balancing on one leg.
3 - During the intro, you nod your head.
4 - when it kicks in, you must put a huge grin on your face.
5 - then you hop to your right foot bringing your left knee up while at the same time, bringing your left arm down and sending your right arm up with your hand in a fist.
6 - Repeat all the way through the song.
I'm telling you, it's brilliant, and the most important bit is the grin, it must be genuine and if you do the dance moves right then the grin will be genuine, go try it.
I got a new tent this week which is cool, Argos have a half price sale on so I got a 4 man tent for £21:99, I needed a new one because my camping bed didn't fit in my old one, anyway, I put it up in my garden and I notice a big bloody rip in the groundsheet, which is bloody annoying so I had to take it back and replace it, I'll be fair to Argos here, they didn't ask any questions or fuck me about, which is what I expected, no, they changed it and I now have a tent with no holes in it, which I'm happy about, so well done Argos for your good customer service.
Last night was the Eurovision Song Contest and we had a dilemma, a BIG dilemma, because the boxing was on too, Ricky Hatton was on box office and we all wanted to watch that too, so we watched Eurovision until 9:45 and then Robin found an internet site that was streaming the fight, for free!! so as it happened, the night of Saturday 24th May, six lads sat in Robins front room, huddled round a laptop watching the boxing while also keeping an eye on the Eurovison voting results on a 42 inch screen!! Brilliant!!
I'd also like to mention that Greece were robbed and Russia won, which all comes down to the political voting bollocks again, I mean the Greeks should have won because they had this woman:
And I think you'll agree, she is gorgeous (I've stored a few images up in the old wank bank), although there was a lot of good looking birds performing and well done to them too, I am however considering writing a song and entering myself for next years Eurovison, who thinks I should do that?
Also Collywogs bloggy blog is doing well, have you noticed though, this blog here has a higher rating, which I think is strange.
Woggzeh
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I haven't seen your face round, since I was a kid, you're bringing back those memories of the things that we did
Good Morrow.
I think Sunday comes round way too fast, it only seems like yesterday I was struggling to do this blog, and here we are again, a blank screen and a blanker brain.
So this week Piers Morgan has been everywhere, I say Hoooooray!!!! I love the bloke, he's the only bloke on tv who makes any sense. I saw him recently on Question time and, well, he was great and if he was in government then I'd vote for him, I'm sure there are a few of you out there who hate him, that's fine, he'd probably hate you too, He's definitely like Marmite, you either love him or loathe him, as I can't stand Marmite, then my appreciation of Piers Morgan seems justified.
well, my mood has been up and down like a brides nightie recently, just thought I'd tell you that.
Jof's blog is coming on leaps and bounds, I think I might have a problem with my cookies because it says he hasn't updated since April, he's actually got lazy because he's got a girlfriend! yes a GIRLFRIEND how gay is that?
Collywogs Bloggy Blog is doing well although I need to write some more posts and put them in the bank for a later date as I'm running out, it's not that I don't have anything to write about, it's just that I can't be arsed to write any thing, I should really carry a Dictaphone around with me because I do most of my thinking while I'm out and about, which probably looks stupid as I always move my lips when I think, and as I have my music on in my ears, I've noticed that I do a strange kind of jig when I walk, like my body is trying to dance to the music but my sub conscious is fighting the urge to make a prat of myself in public, although I know I'll crack one day, probably in the middle of a busy street, throw my hands in the air, do a little kick and sing the chorus to the song I'm listening to as loud as I dare and then realise what I've done and be really embarrassed, in fact, I hope I'm with you when it happens!
I also managed to put a 'rate my blog' widget on C.B.B but it's a bit shit, I've had three ratings all giving it 10/10 and yet the chart gives it a 6.4% so I don't know what's going on there.
I've found out that a new food stuff that I'll be enjoying more of is cold baked beans and brown sauce, try it you might like it.
I was massively disappointed that Jof didn't win (or enter) the spot the song contest, in fact no fucker entered, leaving me with with the secret prize.
Woggzeh
I think Sunday comes round way too fast, it only seems like yesterday I was struggling to do this blog, and here we are again, a blank screen and a blanker brain.
So this week Piers Morgan has been everywhere, I say Hoooooray!!!! I love the bloke, he's the only bloke on tv who makes any sense. I saw him recently on Question time and, well, he was great and if he was in government then I'd vote for him, I'm sure there are a few of you out there who hate him, that's fine, he'd probably hate you too, He's definitely like Marmite, you either love him or loathe him, as I can't stand Marmite, then my appreciation of Piers Morgan seems justified.
well, my mood has been up and down like a brides nightie recently, just thought I'd tell you that.
Jof's blog is coming on leaps and bounds, I think I might have a problem with my cookies because it says he hasn't updated since April, he's actually got lazy because he's got a girlfriend! yes a GIRLFRIEND how gay is that?
Collywogs Bloggy Blog is doing well although I need to write some more posts and put them in the bank for a later date as I'm running out, it's not that I don't have anything to write about, it's just that I can't be arsed to write any thing, I should really carry a Dictaphone around with me because I do most of my thinking while I'm out and about, which probably looks stupid as I always move my lips when I think, and as I have my music on in my ears, I've noticed that I do a strange kind of jig when I walk, like my body is trying to dance to the music but my sub conscious is fighting the urge to make a prat of myself in public, although I know I'll crack one day, probably in the middle of a busy street, throw my hands in the air, do a little kick and sing the chorus to the song I'm listening to as loud as I dare and then realise what I've done and be really embarrassed, in fact, I hope I'm with you when it happens!
I also managed to put a 'rate my blog' widget on C.B.B but it's a bit shit, I've had three ratings all giving it 10/10 and yet the chart gives it a 6.4% so I don't know what's going on there.
I've found out that a new food stuff that I'll be enjoying more of is cold baked beans and brown sauce, try it you might like it.
I was massively disappointed that Jof didn't win (or enter) the spot the song contest, in fact no fucker entered, leaving me with with the secret prize.
Woggzeh
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Stars in your eyes, little one, where do you go to dream, to a place we all know, the land of make believe.
Now then.
As per usual, I don't know what to put in this weeks blog, so I'll let you all know that I'm ill, poorly, sick, at deaths door.
I have had tummy pains for most of last week then on Friday I threw my guts up (mostly it was the dry heaves, but unpleasant all the same) then on Saturday, I ate my breakfast, (sausage, bacon and egg butty) and promptly threw that up too, then I didn't have an appetite all day but I had terrible stomach pains from hunger (or it could be P.M.T) so I didn't eat anything until I got to Robins in the evening and managed some pizza.
The same thing has happened this morning too, so I'm sticking to fluids at the moment, then I'm going to the doctors first thing, although if he suggests anything less than a stomach ulcer I'll be heavily disappointed, because I've convinced myself that's what it is.
Then again, whenever you are poorly people suddenly become doctors, they ask what's wrong with you and then tell you that there's a lot of it going about, which is really annoying, is there ever a time in England when there isn't a lot of it going about? that's why, when people who aren't doctors ask for my symptoms, I tell them that I have sand coming out of my eyes, and I keep laying eggs, that stumps them because there isn't a lot of that going about I can tell you!
Got some heavy shit going down here at the moment(along with my illness), so I've not been my usual chirpy self recently, I've tried my best but I'm stressed out to fuck with certain things, I just don't know what to do because I usually don't give a fuck, but this time I do, and there's nothing I can do.
Played against Lee on Mario Kart Wii last night, that was fun, isn't the internet clever! he's on the other side of the world and we are on this side of the world and I can still kick his ass at Mario Kart it's brilliant, what ever will they think of next? I bet it's something crazy like instant electronic mail or something even more wacky, I can't wait.
Woggzeh
P.S - Time for name that tune again, so first person (I bet it will be Jof) to write down all the song titles and artist from my blog titles between today and June 16th 2007 will win fuck all and a handy bag to carry fuck all in.
As per usual, I don't know what to put in this weeks blog, so I'll let you all know that I'm ill, poorly, sick, at deaths door.
I have had tummy pains for most of last week then on Friday I threw my guts up (mostly it was the dry heaves, but unpleasant all the same) then on Saturday, I ate my breakfast, (sausage, bacon and egg butty) and promptly threw that up too, then I didn't have an appetite all day but I had terrible stomach pains from hunger (or it could be P.M.T) so I didn't eat anything until I got to Robins in the evening and managed some pizza.
The same thing has happened this morning too, so I'm sticking to fluids at the moment, then I'm going to the doctors first thing, although if he suggests anything less than a stomach ulcer I'll be heavily disappointed, because I've convinced myself that's what it is.
Then again, whenever you are poorly people suddenly become doctors, they ask what's wrong with you and then tell you that there's a lot of it going about, which is really annoying, is there ever a time in England when there isn't a lot of it going about? that's why, when people who aren't doctors ask for my symptoms, I tell them that I have sand coming out of my eyes, and I keep laying eggs, that stumps them because there isn't a lot of that going about I can tell you!
Got some heavy shit going down here at the moment(along with my illness), so I've not been my usual chirpy self recently, I've tried my best but I'm stressed out to fuck with certain things, I just don't know what to do because I usually don't give a fuck, but this time I do, and there's nothing I can do.
Played against Lee on Mario Kart Wii last night, that was fun, isn't the internet clever! he's on the other side of the world and we are on this side of the world and I can still kick his ass at Mario Kart it's brilliant, what ever will they think of next? I bet it's something crazy like instant electronic mail or something even more wacky, I can't wait.
Woggzeh
P.S - Time for name that tune again, so first person (I bet it will be Jof) to write down all the song titles and artist from my blog titles between today and June 16th 2007 will win fuck all and a handy bag to carry fuck all in.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Every rose has its thorn, Just like every night has its dawn, Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song, Every rose has its thorn.
Hey peeps, just a quick one.
Sorry yesterdays blog was boring, tough shit, nobody left a comment because you are all 'too busy' so I've gone ahead and made the new blog without you.
Sorry yesterdays blog was boring, tough shit, nobody left a comment because you are all 'too busy' so I've gone ahead and made the new blog without you.
Unfortunately, the naming on the blog falls to Trelly, he came up with Collywogs Bloggy Wog And I rather liked it, we have to be honest, my ideas were hardly inspired. Anyway, I took Trellys idea and have created Collywogs Bloggy Blog Which I hope you will enjoy and maybe even crack a smile, or heaven forbid, you might laugh out loud, but it's entirely up to you.
Anyway, check it out, if you like it then let me know, if you hate it then fuck off.
Woggzeh
Anyway, check it out, if you like it then let me know, if you hate it then fuck off.
Woggzeh
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, Who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys.
Ey up
Right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I've changed my mind again, this blog has caused me so many sleepless nights it's getting annoying, so, here is the plan, Woggzeh's blog is staying the same as it has been for the past two years (boring and dull and weekly) however, I am currently working on a new blog that will have my cynical look at things and rants, like the post I did last week, I originally decided to make it a daily, but I've plumped for making it thrice ( I think that means three times?) weekly so it'll be updated on a Monday, Wednesday and a Friday, I'm still struggling to find a good name for the blog, I want it to be "Collywog...something" but really can't decide what, a few ideas that I've had are :
Collywog Opines
It's Collywog
Collywogs corner
Collywogs thrice weekly
Or maybe you can come up with something? I've also got a few posts ready to post, so I'm not snowed under, I'm prepared this time around, although I'm not sure which one I should post first so you decide, the one with the most votes will be posted first, here are the available titles so far:
John Doe
Holidays
Joke Telling
Making Appointments
Lazy remaking Of Songs
Swear Words
Safari Parks
Facebook
Carry On Films
so as you can see, I have three weeks of material there, which is more than I actually thought I had, I'm also planning on printing out each blog (or getting someone else to print it for me) and eventually I will have the book that I've always craved to write.
Been a bit down this week, got the weight of the world on my shoulders at the moment, and the shit doesn't stop coming, (work and money being the main problems) to say I'm down would be an understatement, but you know me, I'll be back soon enough, got plenty of cool stuff to keep my mind occupied, like the new series of Peep Show, woop woop.
Well I'm not really in a mood to write any more (yes, I wrote most of this blog the other day, this paragraph is the Sunday bit) So I don't know when I'll launch the new blog, but I'll let you all know in due course, (probably be Monday or Wednesday or Friday) still don't have a decent name for it. It's the Bilton Gala tomorrow, so that'll be fun to miss, it's always been rubbish, I don't know why I used to go every year, oh yes I do, my mum dragged me there!
Anyway, have a good un, I'll look forward to your feedback.
Woggzeh
Right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I've changed my mind again, this blog has caused me so many sleepless nights it's getting annoying, so, here is the plan, Woggzeh's blog is staying the same as it has been for the past two years (boring and dull and weekly) however, I am currently working on a new blog that will have my cynical look at things and rants, like the post I did last week, I originally decided to make it a daily, but I've plumped for making it thrice ( I think that means three times?) weekly so it'll be updated on a Monday, Wednesday and a Friday, I'm still struggling to find a good name for the blog, I want it to be "Collywog...something" but really can't decide what, a few ideas that I've had are :
Collywog Opines
It's Collywog
Collywogs corner
Collywogs thrice weekly
Or maybe you can come up with something? I've also got a few posts ready to post, so I'm not snowed under, I'm prepared this time around, although I'm not sure which one I should post first so you decide, the one with the most votes will be posted first, here are the available titles so far:
John Doe
Holidays
Joke Telling
Making Appointments
Lazy remaking Of Songs
Swear Words
Safari Parks
Carry On Films
so as you can see, I have three weeks of material there, which is more than I actually thought I had, I'm also planning on printing out each blog (or getting someone else to print it for me) and eventually I will have the book that I've always craved to write.
Been a bit down this week, got the weight of the world on my shoulders at the moment, and the shit doesn't stop coming, (work and money being the main problems) to say I'm down would be an understatement, but you know me, I'll be back soon enough, got plenty of cool stuff to keep my mind occupied, like the new series of Peep Show, woop woop.
Well I'm not really in a mood to write any more (yes, I wrote most of this blog the other day, this paragraph is the Sunday bit) So I don't know when I'll launch the new blog, but I'll let you all know in due course, (probably be Monday or Wednesday or Friday) still don't have a decent name for it. It's the Bilton Gala tomorrow, so that'll be fun to miss, it's always been rubbish, I don't know why I used to go every year, oh yes I do, my mum dragged me there!
Anyway, have a good un, I'll look forward to your feedback.
Woggzeh
Monday, April 21, 2008
My friend and me, Looking through her red box of memories, faded I'm sure, But love seems to stick in her veins you know.
Hello people of the world,
Well let me explain to you what is going on here, I had a meeting with the shareholders of Woggzeh's World Blog and we decided that a change might be necessary to keep up with demand, now this change could be permanent or it could be temporary, it's all down to you, I want you to read this blog and leave a comment, telling me whether you prefer the old version, where I sit down on a Sunday and summarise the whole week, generally talking about work and all the stuff I do which got a bit 'samey' or I can write like I have done here, where I just write down my thoughts each day and post them all on Sunday for you to enjoy, now this will be harder for me, as I will be in demand to write daily for you, but I can manage that, the thing is, it will be less about me and what I am doing, So I'll leave it to you, have a read, Please leave a comment, your feedback is important, there is a third option and that is to cancel the blog...
Monday 21st April
I went into one of my stupid heads today and decided to figure out how they get all the white tarmac lines so perfect and in line on our roads, just look at it next time you are on the road, it's pretty impressive, but then I realised I was being silly, because, (Like all good facts, I've made this one up) the fact of the matter is, Tarmac is naturally white and the manufacturers have to add a black dye to the mixture so that it can be seen during the day!
Tuesday 22nd April
You know when you see a dog running up to you and it's one of those dogs that you are sure is on the banned register? well that happened to me today, and I don't know if you know much about me, but as much as I love animals, animals don't share the same enthusiasm with me, basically, all animals try to bite me.
Well today this pit bull viper thing came running over to me from nowhere, big smile on it's muzzle-less face, I thought it looked like a crazed rabid dog that could take down a horse and run off with it, naturally I stood back as it circled round my petrified body like a vulture waiting for it's prey, I tried to look calm and cool, but I know I failed.
The dogs owner appeared out of the same nowhere that the dog appeared from and she was a weird looking woman (why are weird looking woman all weird looking?) she was laughing and grabbed the dog and looked at me (through her one good eye, lol) and said, "He can smell your fear" I just looked her and nodded while thinking to myself, 'I bet he can smell my fear!, I bet you can smell it too as well as everyone within 100 metres of me can smell my fear because my fear smells distinctly like shit!'
Anyway, the rabid dog didn't bite me this time, but it did lick my hand, it was probably tasting me to see if I was worth ripping to shreds for the shits and giggles.
Anyway the strange woman took her strange dog and walked away, and I lived to fight another day, although if I see the dog tomorrow then I will know that I tasted good and the dog wants to finish it's meal.
Wednesday 23rd April
Happy St Georges Day! It was nice to read that Morley is the most patriotic place in England, They had a big celebration and a parade and all that jazz, I think we should celebrate St Georges Day more, After all, we are British are we not? Although we must remember not to upset the ethnic minorities (I think they are majority now) otherwise they might fuck off back to their own country and stop sponging off us.
Who here has grey hairs? go on, be honest, all us twenty some things are now officially old and it's doing my head in, I remember that Chris has had grey hairs since he was about 5 but as he is only just starting puberty in his mid twenties, then I will just put that down to Chris being awkward.
But with me, as there is little on top, my comedy beard takes most of the abuse from advancing grey hairs, I am constantly at pains (and in pain) just standing in front of the bathroom mirror tugging these unsightly greys hairs out of my chinny chin chin, which hurts, and even sometimes you get a stubborn fucker, who has anchored himself to the back of my head and I find myself nodding to myself in the mirror as the hair refuses to budge and pulls my head down to my chest.
I wouldn't mind the grey hairs too much if it was just one or two, but it's getting to the point where there is real danger of me losing my youthful good looks, which I do worry about!
Anyway, I'm not shaving the beard off, so I'm thinking that my only option now is to go to the chemist and buy some 'Just For Men' unless, of course, you can suggest something different.
Thursday 24th April
I don't know why I watch Eggheads while I eat my tea, it riles me up something rotten that I just want to puke all over my screen with disgust at the people on the show, I hate everything about it, and yet, here I am, night after night, tuning in and getting myself in a right state over a stupid game show!
Firstly there are the 'Eggheads' a collection of boring fuckwits, who happen to know a few things:
Kevin - He's the intelligent one out of the lot, and in fairness the only one I would like to see in a pub and have a beer with, without him, the whole show would be called 'Shitheads'
Chris - Fat, boring and knows fuck all about answering a question with an answer, this guy has to give you the life history of the answer before he reveals that he knows it!
Daphne - Old woman, usually gets eliminated, probably someone's granny, probably a nice person.
Judith - Millionaire winner, thick as pig shit, usually the first Egghead to be eliminated.
CJ - The most disgusting creation to walk the earth is allowed on television, this smug fucking poof (and I'm not homophobic, I can't describe him any other way, you try it...see, not easy is it) he is the reason I hate Eggheads, the show would be all right to watch if it wasn't for him, I can't stand him, and I'm yet to meet anyone who does like him, he's a fucking toss pot, and what has he ever done? he won Brainteaser on Ch5! my fucking dog could win that joke of a show.
Then there is Dermot Murnaghan, (who has a silly name to spell) he lives so far up the backsides of the Eggheads I'm surprised that he is no longer just a pair of feet dangling from Chris's gigantic arse, He is a twat too, he asks the contestants if they want to go first or second, which is fair enough, but it doesn't matter what you say because you are going to get the hard set of questions anyway, God forbid the public realise that the Eggheads don't know everything, I wouldn't mind wagering that the Eggheads already know the answers!
I'm going to stop watching this show in future, it annoys me, but first I want to see the look on CJs face when the rest of the Eggheads turn on him and say, "fuck off you annoying cunt".
Friday 25th April
Rabbits are a stupid animal, They look cute and fluffy and they breed like..well..er.. rabbits but they are just so stupid, everyday on my route to work, I see dozens of them squashed into the tarmac, Well, today was our turn to add to the number of rabbits killed on the road in any one day, the bloody thing just came out of the grass and legged it across the road but before it made it, I felt a bump under the wheel of our van, I guess if it hadn't been a baby rabbit then it probably would have made it, but alas, there it was, flat on the road with bits of it still spinning round on our tyre, I will admit I felt a little bad at first, but these things happen and it's not like we've just destroyed a whole species, because by this time tomorrow there will be another 700 rabbits to replace that dead one.
Saturday 26th April
I woke up this morning with a right old crick in my neck and a general feeling in my back that I needed a bloody good stretch, which as you will know, stretching can feel like the greatest thing in the world, but no matter how good that stretch feels, you will always want a little more, like you could have stretched yourself a bit bigger, anyway, the stretch this morning was good, and after gently massaging my neck, that is all better now too, but doing so reminded me that I have healing hands (I prefer to call them magic hands on account of all the magic tricks I do), I have always been good at massaging people, and I actually used to love doing it, aside from the fact that it's a legal way of touching up a woman, I actually used to find it soothing and relaxing to the point where I think I enjoyed it more than the recipient, it's like kneading bread or something, I like doing it. So now I've got to find a woman who needs a massage, which, surprisingly enough, isn't as easy as you would imagine, unless it's just me.
Sunday 27th April
Live launch day of the new style Woggzeh's World Blog, (Beta) Like I said in the introduction, please leave a comment telling me your thoughts on the new blog.
Anyway, I think the subject today has to be Aliens!
Last night at about 21:30, I was at Trelly's and we were advised to look out of the window, upon looking out of the window, we saw loads of people looking towards the sky, we ran outside and looked upwards too, and wow! there was this strange orange light zooming across the sky, faster than an aeroplane, and the orange light was continuous unlike the planes lights (which flash), one of the spectators said that there had been about 30 of these lights zipping around the sky earlier but we missed them, now anyone with half a brain would tell you that it was a meteor shower, but I'm telling you that it wasn't! I've seen meteor showers before, hell I see at least one shooting star a month and this didn't look anything like that, so, as there is no other explanation, then I'm telling you that I witnessed a U.F.O (fact) and that U.F.O was piloted by an alien being from outer space (fact), after the alien craft had disappeared behind a cloud we went back in and watched pushing daisy's, has anyone seen that show? it's awesome.
Anyway I've run out of things to say, so that'll do for today.
Toodle Ooh
Woggzeh
PS. Don't forget to comment!
Well let me explain to you what is going on here, I had a meeting with the shareholders of Woggzeh's World Blog and we decided that a change might be necessary to keep up with demand, now this change could be permanent or it could be temporary, it's all down to you, I want you to read this blog and leave a comment, telling me whether you prefer the old version, where I sit down on a Sunday and summarise the whole week, generally talking about work and all the stuff I do which got a bit 'samey' or I can write like I have done here, where I just write down my thoughts each day and post them all on Sunday for you to enjoy, now this will be harder for me, as I will be in demand to write daily for you, but I can manage that, the thing is, it will be less about me and what I am doing, So I'll leave it to you, have a read, Please leave a comment, your feedback is important, there is a third option and that is to cancel the blog...
Monday 21st April
I went into one of my stupid heads today and decided to figure out how they get all the white tarmac lines so perfect and in line on our roads, just look at it next time you are on the road, it's pretty impressive, but then I realised I was being silly, because, (Like all good facts, I've made this one up) the fact of the matter is, Tarmac is naturally white and the manufacturers have to add a black dye to the mixture so that it can be seen during the day!
Tuesday 22nd April
You know when you see a dog running up to you and it's one of those dogs that you are sure is on the banned register? well that happened to me today, and I don't know if you know much about me, but as much as I love animals, animals don't share the same enthusiasm with me, basically, all animals try to bite me.
Well today this pit bull viper thing came running over to me from nowhere, big smile on it's muzzle-less face, I thought it looked like a crazed rabid dog that could take down a horse and run off with it, naturally I stood back as it circled round my petrified body like a vulture waiting for it's prey, I tried to look calm and cool, but I know I failed.
The dogs owner appeared out of the same nowhere that the dog appeared from and she was a weird looking woman (why are weird looking woman all weird looking?) she was laughing and grabbed the dog and looked at me (through her one good eye, lol) and said, "He can smell your fear" I just looked her and nodded while thinking to myself, 'I bet he can smell my fear!, I bet you can smell it too as well as everyone within 100 metres of me can smell my fear because my fear smells distinctly like shit!'
Anyway, the rabid dog didn't bite me this time, but it did lick my hand, it was probably tasting me to see if I was worth ripping to shreds for the shits and giggles.
Anyway the strange woman took her strange dog and walked away, and I lived to fight another day, although if I see the dog tomorrow then I will know that I tasted good and the dog wants to finish it's meal.
Wednesday 23rd April
Happy St Georges Day! It was nice to read that Morley is the most patriotic place in England, They had a big celebration and a parade and all that jazz, I think we should celebrate St Georges Day more, After all, we are British are we not? Although we must remember not to upset the ethnic minorities (I think they are majority now) otherwise they might fuck off back to their own country and stop sponging off us.
Who here has grey hairs? go on, be honest, all us twenty some things are now officially old and it's doing my head in, I remember that Chris has had grey hairs since he was about 5 but as he is only just starting puberty in his mid twenties, then I will just put that down to Chris being awkward.
But with me, as there is little on top, my comedy beard takes most of the abuse from advancing grey hairs, I am constantly at pains (and in pain) just standing in front of the bathroom mirror tugging these unsightly greys hairs out of my chinny chin chin, which hurts, and even sometimes you get a stubborn fucker, who has anchored himself to the back of my head and I find myself nodding to myself in the mirror as the hair refuses to budge and pulls my head down to my chest.
I wouldn't mind the grey hairs too much if it was just one or two, but it's getting to the point where there is real danger of me losing my youthful good looks, which I do worry about!
Anyway, I'm not shaving the beard off, so I'm thinking that my only option now is to go to the chemist and buy some 'Just For Men' unless, of course, you can suggest something different.
Thursday 24th April
I don't know why I watch Eggheads while I eat my tea, it riles me up something rotten that I just want to puke all over my screen with disgust at the people on the show, I hate everything about it, and yet, here I am, night after night, tuning in and getting myself in a right state over a stupid game show!
Firstly there are the 'Eggheads' a collection of boring fuckwits, who happen to know a few things:
Kevin - He's the intelligent one out of the lot, and in fairness the only one I would like to see in a pub and have a beer with, without him, the whole show would be called 'Shitheads'
Chris - Fat, boring and knows fuck all about answering a question with an answer, this guy has to give you the life history of the answer before he reveals that he knows it!
Daphne - Old woman, usually gets eliminated, probably someone's granny, probably a nice person.
Judith - Millionaire winner, thick as pig shit, usually the first Egghead to be eliminated.
CJ - The most disgusting creation to walk the earth is allowed on television, this smug fucking poof (and I'm not homophobic, I can't describe him any other way, you try it...see, not easy is it) he is the reason I hate Eggheads, the show would be all right to watch if it wasn't for him, I can't stand him, and I'm yet to meet anyone who does like him, he's a fucking toss pot, and what has he ever done? he won Brainteaser on Ch5! my fucking dog could win that joke of a show.
Then there is Dermot Murnaghan, (who has a silly name to spell) he lives so far up the backsides of the Eggheads I'm surprised that he is no longer just a pair of feet dangling from Chris's gigantic arse, He is a twat too, he asks the contestants if they want to go first or second, which is fair enough, but it doesn't matter what you say because you are going to get the hard set of questions anyway, God forbid the public realise that the Eggheads don't know everything, I wouldn't mind wagering that the Eggheads already know the answers!
I'm going to stop watching this show in future, it annoys me, but first I want to see the look on CJs face when the rest of the Eggheads turn on him and say, "fuck off you annoying cunt".
Friday 25th April
Rabbits are a stupid animal, They look cute and fluffy and they breed like..well..er.. rabbits but they are just so stupid, everyday on my route to work, I see dozens of them squashed into the tarmac, Well, today was our turn to add to the number of rabbits killed on the road in any one day, the bloody thing just came out of the grass and legged it across the road but before it made it, I felt a bump under the wheel of our van, I guess if it hadn't been a baby rabbit then it probably would have made it, but alas, there it was, flat on the road with bits of it still spinning round on our tyre, I will admit I felt a little bad at first, but these things happen and it's not like we've just destroyed a whole species, because by this time tomorrow there will be another 700 rabbits to replace that dead one.
Saturday 26th April
I woke up this morning with a right old crick in my neck and a general feeling in my back that I needed a bloody good stretch, which as you will know, stretching can feel like the greatest thing in the world, but no matter how good that stretch feels, you will always want a little more, like you could have stretched yourself a bit bigger, anyway, the stretch this morning was good, and after gently massaging my neck, that is all better now too, but doing so reminded me that I have healing hands (I prefer to call them magic hands on account of all the magic tricks I do), I have always been good at massaging people, and I actually used to love doing it, aside from the fact that it's a legal way of touching up a woman, I actually used to find it soothing and relaxing to the point where I think I enjoyed it more than the recipient, it's like kneading bread or something, I like doing it. So now I've got to find a woman who needs a massage, which, surprisingly enough, isn't as easy as you would imagine, unless it's just me.
Sunday 27th April
Live launch day of the new style Woggzeh's World Blog, (Beta) Like I said in the introduction, please leave a comment telling me your thoughts on the new blog.
Anyway, I think the subject today has to be Aliens!
Last night at about 21:30, I was at Trelly's and we were advised to look out of the window, upon looking out of the window, we saw loads of people looking towards the sky, we ran outside and looked upwards too, and wow! there was this strange orange light zooming across the sky, faster than an aeroplane, and the orange light was continuous unlike the planes lights (which flash), one of the spectators said that there had been about 30 of these lights zipping around the sky earlier but we missed them, now anyone with half a brain would tell you that it was a meteor shower, but I'm telling you that it wasn't! I've seen meteor showers before, hell I see at least one shooting star a month and this didn't look anything like that, so, as there is no other explanation, then I'm telling you that I witnessed a U.F.O (fact) and that U.F.O was piloted by an alien being from outer space (fact), after the alien craft had disappeared behind a cloud we went back in and watched pushing daisy's, has anyone seen that show? it's awesome.
Anyway I've run out of things to say, so that'll do for today.
Toodle Ooh
Woggzeh
PS. Don't forget to comment!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Baby you're a superstar, Lookin like youre goin' far, Do what you want, Why don't you do what you wanna.
Sunday bloody Sunday.
Well it's arrived again, as regular as clockwork, unless it's a broken clock of course, yes, it's Sunday again, The day that isn't actually any good apart from the fact that I don't work Sundays, although I could technically call writing this blog work, but sometimes I write this on a Saturday or a Friday or any other day of the week and save it for Sunday, as for now, I'm writing this today (Sunday), so how are you all?
Bit of a shit time at the beginning of the week, I was on site on Tuesday (Liverpool Hospital) and working away, when I realised that my dad had been a long time preparing a panel for installation so I went to see what was wrong, When I got to the bench my dad was slouched in the corner of the room, holding his chest, he was white as a sheet and sweating heavily, I tried not to panic and asked him what was wrong, he said he had a really bad pain in his chest, so I asked him questions that I thought were necessary, "are you feeling any numbness?" "do you want me to get help" After what felt like a lifetime waiting for a reply (which never came), I went and got the site foreman and he rushed off to get a nurse, ( I guess it was lucky that we were working in a hospital) The nurse came with other nurses and medical people and a wheelchair and blanket and some machines I think it was a defibrillator or something, but it could have just been the machine that goes 'ping' for all I know, Anyway, they took him away and luckily, by the time he was in the wheelchair, his colour had returned and he was talking again, asking me, "how am I going to get home?" Which in fairness was a good question, but I told him not to worry about that. There was nothing I could do for him, so I set back to work and decided to check on him in an hour, when I found him in the A&E he was sat up in bed with a bloody cup of tea! The doctor told him it wasn't a heart attack and was probably just an inflamed oesophagus (wow I spelled that correctly) which basically means he had a massive attack of indigestion, but the symptoms are the same as a heart attack, Thankfully panic was over and he came back to site a couple of hours later, but definitely something I don't want to experience again.
I spoke to Kristy yesterday, which was lovely, she's having a wikked time in Egypt and seeing things and visiting places that I've never even heard of (Me and Geography don't get on) but I'm glad she's having a great time and showing off speaking Arabic, which is cool but I don't know if she's swearing at me or anything, so stop it!
Last night was a looooooong night, went to Robins to play Mario Kart, which incidentally has become my new nemesis, I used to get a strop on when playing Mario party, but now Mario Kart has taken that mantle, and it's not my fault it's just that the controller wasn't working properly and I've not played it in ages unlike robin who probably plays it every day for like 25 hours, because he's a big stupid stupid head, the game resulted in us hitting each other with pillows because he couldn't handle my brilliantly intelligent insults, but there you go, intelligence 1 brawn 0!
Then after Robs I went back to Trellys house and settled down for a night of Boxing, with Joe Calzaghe having a scrap with Bernard Hopkins scheduled for 3am, it was a good night and the fight wasn't bad either, the result was quite tense as neither of us could call it, I thought Hopkins could have just nicked it and Trelly was already winding himself up that the judges would be biased towards the American, but Calzaghe won the bout and everyone was happy, I left his house at about 4:30 am!
This is something I don't understand about the human anatomy, it's probably just me, but my night cycle went like this:
midnight - doing good
1am - tired
2am - really tired
3am - yawning and ready for sleep
4am - enjoying the fight but hoping it ends soon so I can sleep
5am - Finally in bed and wide awake!!
What the fuck is that about, what was it about the transition of my body from a vertical position to a horizontal position that woke me up? and to make matters worse, I had a 'lob on' now there are times and places for having a rocker (on a bus for example) but when you are desperate to sleep then I don't really want one, besides, I didn't have anything at hand to mop up with.
Anyway with a massive feeling of disappointment that I cant even go to sleep properly, I managed to worry myself asleep that I am a complete failure, I've got a feeling that I'll forget how to blink or breathe soon, I woke up at 9 am, then 10 am, then got up at 11 am, feeling rather refreshed, which was nice.
Villa have just won the derby against Birmingham 5-1 which is fucking amazing, that's 15 goals in 3 games we have scored now, next week we play Everton (Everscum) and if we can get a win there then we will overtake them and be in an automatic UEFA cup spot, so come on Villa.
Got a quick joke for you all:
Bloke goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, every time I masturbate I keep singing, 'marching on together'
The doctor replies, "don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that song"
Yeah yeah, I know, Everyone's a Leeds fan except me, but you've got to laugh, I hope they get some points back, stop every one moaning all the time, but if it was up to me I'd tell them to fuck off and deduct them another 15 points for being so cheeky by appealing.
Well, I think that'll do for this week, I didn't know what to write when I started today's update, but I think I've done alright.
Moff to watch the Snooker.
Woggzeh
Well it's arrived again, as regular as clockwork, unless it's a broken clock of course, yes, it's Sunday again, The day that isn't actually any good apart from the fact that I don't work Sundays, although I could technically call writing this blog work, but sometimes I write this on a Saturday or a Friday or any other day of the week and save it for Sunday, as for now, I'm writing this today (Sunday), so how are you all?
Bit of a shit time at the beginning of the week, I was on site on Tuesday (Liverpool Hospital) and working away, when I realised that my dad had been a long time preparing a panel for installation so I went to see what was wrong, When I got to the bench my dad was slouched in the corner of the room, holding his chest, he was white as a sheet and sweating heavily, I tried not to panic and asked him what was wrong, he said he had a really bad pain in his chest, so I asked him questions that I thought were necessary, "are you feeling any numbness?" "do you want me to get help" After what felt like a lifetime waiting for a reply (which never came), I went and got the site foreman and he rushed off to get a nurse, ( I guess it was lucky that we were working in a hospital) The nurse came with other nurses and medical people and a wheelchair and blanket and some machines I think it was a defibrillator or something, but it could have just been the machine that goes 'ping' for all I know, Anyway, they took him away and luckily, by the time he was in the wheelchair, his colour had returned and he was talking again, asking me, "how am I going to get home?" Which in fairness was a good question, but I told him not to worry about that. There was nothing I could do for him, so I set back to work and decided to check on him in an hour, when I found him in the A&E he was sat up in bed with a bloody cup of tea! The doctor told him it wasn't a heart attack and was probably just an inflamed oesophagus (wow I spelled that correctly) which basically means he had a massive attack of indigestion, but the symptoms are the same as a heart attack, Thankfully panic was over and he came back to site a couple of hours later, but definitely something I don't want to experience again.
I spoke to Kristy yesterday, which was lovely, she's having a wikked time in Egypt and seeing things and visiting places that I've never even heard of (Me and Geography don't get on) but I'm glad she's having a great time and showing off speaking Arabic, which is cool but I don't know if she's swearing at me or anything, so stop it!
Last night was a looooooong night, went to Robins to play Mario Kart, which incidentally has become my new nemesis, I used to get a strop on when playing Mario party, but now Mario Kart has taken that mantle, and it's not my fault it's just that the controller wasn't working properly and I've not played it in ages unlike robin who probably plays it every day for like 25 hours, because he's a big stupid stupid head, the game resulted in us hitting each other with pillows because he couldn't handle my brilliantly intelligent insults, but there you go, intelligence 1 brawn 0!
Then after Robs I went back to Trellys house and settled down for a night of Boxing, with Joe Calzaghe having a scrap with Bernard Hopkins scheduled for 3am, it was a good night and the fight wasn't bad either, the result was quite tense as neither of us could call it, I thought Hopkins could have just nicked it and Trelly was already winding himself up that the judges would be biased towards the American, but Calzaghe won the bout and everyone was happy, I left his house at about 4:30 am!
This is something I don't understand about the human anatomy, it's probably just me, but my night cycle went like this:
midnight - doing good
1am - tired
2am - really tired
3am - yawning and ready for sleep
4am - enjoying the fight but hoping it ends soon so I can sleep
5am - Finally in bed and wide awake!!
What the fuck is that about, what was it about the transition of my body from a vertical position to a horizontal position that woke me up? and to make matters worse, I had a 'lob on' now there are times and places for having a rocker (on a bus for example) but when you are desperate to sleep then I don't really want one, besides, I didn't have anything at hand to mop up with.
Anyway with a massive feeling of disappointment that I cant even go to sleep properly, I managed to worry myself asleep that I am a complete failure, I've got a feeling that I'll forget how to blink or breathe soon, I woke up at 9 am, then 10 am, then got up at 11 am, feeling rather refreshed, which was nice.
Villa have just won the derby against Birmingham 5-1 which is fucking amazing, that's 15 goals in 3 games we have scored now, next week we play Everton (Everscum) and if we can get a win there then we will overtake them and be in an automatic UEFA cup spot, so come on Villa.
Got a quick joke for you all:
Bloke goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, every time I masturbate I keep singing, 'marching on together'
The doctor replies, "don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that song"
Yeah yeah, I know, Everyone's a Leeds fan except me, but you've got to laugh, I hope they get some points back, stop every one moaning all the time, but if it was up to me I'd tell them to fuck off and deduct them another 15 points for being so cheeky by appealing.
Well, I think that'll do for this week, I didn't know what to write when I started today's update, but I think I've done alright.
Moff to watch the Snooker.
Woggzeh
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Now it's too late to go back home, it's saccharine and silicone, for a broken barbie doll.
Hey,
Well, I don't really want to write this today, but I need to keep my mind occupied, Kristy has just gone off to Manchester and then she is flying to Egypt, so I'll not see her for a couple of weeks and that's gonna feel like forever, I promised myself that I wouldn't cry, but I failed, also this whole morning has happened exactly like I dreamt it would happen, which isn't what I wanted. Anyway, I hope she has a fantastic time while she is there, and I hope she doesn't forget my sick bags, she's taking her laptop so I can still bombard her with messages of which she will reply when she finds time. She's also taken my story 'A Mask Of Sanity' away with her, so, it'll be interesting to see what she has to say about that, (sorry to all the people who wanted to read it first) Still I don't think it's half as bad as 'How to die in 12 easy hours' Which Jof Liked alot, because it was a bit sick.
So what's been going on? I've been watching the marathon on the telebox and as usual it was a skinny black fella who won it, well done to the lad, I know that I couldn't run a marathon, I get out of breath eating a marathon!
I've started a job in Liverpool, which sucks, the job is alright and I should have it knocked out in about a week, then I don't know where I am going (out of my mind probably).
I spoke to Lee yesterday, and I was also surprised to see that he had updated his blog! first time in about 3 years, so we had a good chat he's fine, everyone is fine but he's picking up an Australian twang, which is expected but I'll have to knock it out of him upon his return. (saying nowt, don't want to ruin the surprise)
Friday night was probably the best night out I've had in years, I was with Kristy ( Please stop asking what's going on there - we are only friends!) but I had a great time and she even let me stay over at her house, which was great and she has a comfy bed too, how far is too far when describing such matters? I don't know, I think I've already said too much.
So my new MP3 player is keeping the walks home from Trelly's less boring but I think there is something wrong with the random song generator as I've got like a million billion songs on there but it seems to play a selection of 30 songs over and over, stupid technology, and to make matters worse, it hasn't played Alisha's Attic 'Push it all aside' once! and I love that song.
Next weekend sees the start of The Snooker World Championships and I'm looking forward to that, I love watching snooker on TV, it's so tranquil and exciting and it never fails to make me fall asleep, honestly, I love it and all, but the quietness is brilliant and I get a right good kip, until I snore and wake myself up.
Pieman has been coming up with some crazy ideas for the 'cool guy' series, I especially like his idea of adding a wig. But we will look into all the ideas, I have passed them on to my script writers and, well, watch this space.
Anyway, I'm going to go and mope around the house, I'm off to play snooker at 2:30 now, as I've nowt better to do today I may as well give Robin a whooping.
Toodle ooh
Woggzeh
Well, I don't really want to write this today, but I need to keep my mind occupied, Kristy has just gone off to Manchester and then she is flying to Egypt, so I'll not see her for a couple of weeks and that's gonna feel like forever, I promised myself that I wouldn't cry, but I failed, also this whole morning has happened exactly like I dreamt it would happen, which isn't what I wanted. Anyway, I hope she has a fantastic time while she is there, and I hope she doesn't forget my sick bags, she's taking her laptop so I can still bombard her with messages of which she will reply when she finds time. She's also taken my story 'A Mask Of Sanity' away with her, so, it'll be interesting to see what she has to say about that, (sorry to all the people who wanted to read it first) Still I don't think it's half as bad as 'How to die in 12 easy hours' Which Jof Liked alot, because it was a bit sick.
So what's been going on? I've been watching the marathon on the telebox and as usual it was a skinny black fella who won it, well done to the lad, I know that I couldn't run a marathon, I get out of breath eating a marathon!
I've started a job in Liverpool, which sucks, the job is alright and I should have it knocked out in about a week, then I don't know where I am going (out of my mind probably).
I spoke to Lee yesterday, and I was also surprised to see that he had updated his blog! first time in about 3 years, so we had a good chat he's fine, everyone is fine but he's picking up an Australian twang, which is expected but I'll have to knock it out of him upon his return. (saying nowt, don't want to ruin the surprise)
Friday night was probably the best night out I've had in years, I was with Kristy ( Please stop asking what's going on there - we are only friends!) but I had a great time and she even let me stay over at her house, which was great and she has a comfy bed too, how far is too far when describing such matters? I don't know, I think I've already said too much.
So my new MP3 player is keeping the walks home from Trelly's less boring but I think there is something wrong with the random song generator as I've got like a million billion songs on there but it seems to play a selection of 30 songs over and over, stupid technology, and to make matters worse, it hasn't played Alisha's Attic 'Push it all aside' once! and I love that song.
Next weekend sees the start of The Snooker World Championships and I'm looking forward to that, I love watching snooker on TV, it's so tranquil and exciting and it never fails to make me fall asleep, honestly, I love it and all, but the quietness is brilliant and I get a right good kip, until I snore and wake myself up.
Pieman has been coming up with some crazy ideas for the 'cool guy' series, I especially like his idea of adding a wig. But we will look into all the ideas, I have passed them on to my script writers and, well, watch this space.
Anyway, I'm going to go and mope around the house, I'm off to play snooker at 2:30 now, as I've nowt better to do today I may as well give Robin a whooping.
Toodle ooh
Woggzeh
Sunday, April 06, 2008
don't it feel like sunshine after all, the world we love forever, gone, we're only just as happy, as everyone else seems to be.
Blimey is it Sunday already?
Well, Jof has been blogging all week with some cracking updates, but nobody likes a show off and we all know which blog you look forward to reading the most, But I'm going to have a word with Sir Jof as he is fast approaching me as the most popular blogger in the world. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with second place, I think you should be honoured Jof, but, think about it, do you really want to be in first place? The pressure I am under, the conferences, the world summits I have to attend, because I am the number one blogger in the world, the Queen even reads my blog!
Any way, I think what I am trying to say is, Jof, stop being better than me, I'm jealous.
So, what to do, what to write, I don't have long as I am off to the snooker hall in a bit. So the week has been a bit weird we are coming to the end of our contract in Westmorland and the job has got patchy so we were only in on Tuesday and Thursday, so my drinking wasn't affected too much, hooray.
I went to town on Friday and bought myself an MP3 player it's pretty sweet, it's a Wharfdale and it holds 8GB, that's like 4000 songs, or every song ever released in the 80's!!!! wooohoo
Robin had his knackers played with this week in Birmingham, I'm sure he won't mind me telling the world about it, but he had a benign tumour in his groin which was causing him discomfort so he went to his doctors and they arranged for it to be removed, he says it was a total success and he is in a little bit of pain from the operation but it's understandable, I would probably have lived through the pain rather than let a doctor fiddle about with me 'down there' because I get shy, but, you know, no matter how embarrassing it is you should get it checked out asap. I can't afford to lose any more readers so do it for me.
So I've not really got a lot to tell you this week, I went out last night to Salsa Posada with Kristy and then we went for drinks and then onto a club, we had a great time, and I'm not gonna write too much about it this time because I think I embarrassed her a little bit when I blogged about 'our date' to the cinema. Hopefully, I'll be meeting up with her later on, but I'll still not tell you lot about it!
Todays title is a bit of a nod to Kristy, although I really like this song, (Bullough sent me it ages ago and wouldn't shut up about the band) but Jimmy Eat World are Kristys favourite band, although her favourite song is by the Smiths (I think that's what she said) and her favourite song line is from Pocahontas! Bit fucking random I know, but I'll let her get away with it, cos she hot.
Right well I'm gonna enjoy spring, well the snow! haha, how stupid is that? it's snowing.
Sorry this blog is rubbish again, but I really couldn't be arsed to write anything this week.
Woggzeh
Well, Jof has been blogging all week with some cracking updates, but nobody likes a show off and we all know which blog you look forward to reading the most, But I'm going to have a word with Sir Jof as he is fast approaching me as the most popular blogger in the world. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with second place, I think you should be honoured Jof, but, think about it, do you really want to be in first place? The pressure I am under, the conferences, the world summits I have to attend, because I am the number one blogger in the world, the Queen even reads my blog!
Any way, I think what I am trying to say is, Jof, stop being better than me, I'm jealous.
So, what to do, what to write, I don't have long as I am off to the snooker hall in a bit. So the week has been a bit weird we are coming to the end of our contract in Westmorland and the job has got patchy so we were only in on Tuesday and Thursday, so my drinking wasn't affected too much, hooray.
I went to town on Friday and bought myself an MP3 player it's pretty sweet, it's a Wharfdale and it holds 8GB, that's like 4000 songs, or every song ever released in the 80's!!!! wooohoo
Robin had his knackers played with this week in Birmingham, I'm sure he won't mind me telling the world about it, but he had a benign tumour in his groin which was causing him discomfort so he went to his doctors and they arranged for it to be removed, he says it was a total success and he is in a little bit of pain from the operation but it's understandable, I would probably have lived through the pain rather than let a doctor fiddle about with me 'down there' because I get shy, but, you know, no matter how embarrassing it is you should get it checked out asap. I can't afford to lose any more readers so do it for me.
So I've not really got a lot to tell you this week, I went out last night to Salsa Posada with Kristy and then we went for drinks and then onto a club, we had a great time, and I'm not gonna write too much about it this time because I think I embarrassed her a little bit when I blogged about 'our date' to the cinema. Hopefully, I'll be meeting up with her later on, but I'll still not tell you lot about it!
Todays title is a bit of a nod to Kristy, although I really like this song, (Bullough sent me it ages ago and wouldn't shut up about the band) but Jimmy Eat World are Kristys favourite band, although her favourite song is by the Smiths (I think that's what she said) and her favourite song line is from Pocahontas! Bit fucking random I know, but I'll let her get away with it, cos she hot.
Right well I'm gonna enjoy spring, well the snow! haha, how stupid is that? it's snowing.
Sorry this blog is rubbish again, but I really couldn't be arsed to write anything this week.
Woggzeh
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I feel the rain falling on my face, I can say there is no better place, Than standing up in the falling down, In so much rain I could almost drown.
Au revoir mon petit pois!
I'm practising French, I can't believe how much I forgot, but it's all flooding back to me now, but that's enough of that as all you need to know in French is 'which way to England?' And if you say anything loud enough in France you usually get what you want anyway.
So I'm at a bit of a loss this weekend because everyone has gone down to Wales for little Ben and Claire's wedding, I didn't go due to reasons I'm not telling you, so fuck off you nosey bastard, But I wish them all the best for their future.
So I've had nowt to do this weekend, Friday night was getting tedious, I had done everything there was to do, check emails, check facebook, look at porn, check facebook, read the news, check facebook, had a wank, checked facebook, so at about 7:30 with only my hand support for conversation, (Can't remember if I told you but I've sprained my thumb and it's not getting better) I phoned Matt to see what he was doing and if he wanted to go out, (I didn't tell him that his options were limited to 'yeah alright')
So we went to town, the rat and parrot was pretty busy but was a bit dull, I don't know why, I blame the company I was with, haha! then we decided to go to Yates' so we walked down the hill to find that it was shut! I don't know why it was shut, probably Matt's fault, so I decided on Monteys I got a Grolsch (I even got to open it myself, which is better than when Kristy worked there, I'm sure she opened my beer to piss me off) then sat down with Matt who spotted a friend and buggered off and chatted to him for the duration of my beer, so that was fun, luckily Monteys always plays cool music to listen to and there was some talent to keep my eye on, we left there (kissing McParty on the way out) and went to spoonies, I really don't get that place, it's cheap which is nice but has as much life in it as a dead cat; at least with a dead cat you can scare girls with it, Spoonies is just dull, they need music, although Matt had a great idea of transforming it into a cool rave venue.
We decided to go back up the hill to Native State, but that was shut too!! Matt's fault again I guess.
So we decided to go to Crabtrees, I've not been there in ages, and nothing has changed, the bar staff are the same and they recognised me too even though I was wearing my comedy beard, the beer in there is really good for some reason, trashy pub/good beer. I saw Donna and Kate and chatted with them, Donna is now a mum and Kate is still 'lost' you have to tell her things twice before they sink in and for someone like me who (without blowing my own trumpet) thinks fast, talks fast and moves on, this can be frustrating but she's quite hot so I'll forgive her, then we went to banyan (dear god) pretentious fucks with pretentious hair and pretentious clothes, with their pretentious friends drinking their pretentious drinks packed into a pretentious pub all being wankers, at least you know where they all are on a Friday night though! Then went back to the rat and parrot and met Kate and Donna again, so we sat and had a few drinks with them, then they suggested we go with them to Flares, which I wasn't too fussed about but Matt (a bit drunk) thought it was the best idea in the world, so we went with them, only to get refused for wearing trainers, so the girls went to the taxi rank where they know people and changed their shoes and got in, I tried to get in again and would have done but Matt was stopped again, So he started being a bit cheeky to the bouncers, I explained that my shoes were orthopaedic and he was a bit sympathetic and told me to bring a doctors note next time, he said he wouldn't let Matt in because of his trainers and I told them that his shoes were orthopaedic too and we were on a therapy night out, needless to say this resulted in us walking home.
Tonight (Saturday) has been a bit boring, Villa got stuffed by Man Utd and I have got a bottle of Jack Daniels but no coke and it's raining so I'm not going out. So I've settled for drinking tea.
I've been reading loads of cool stuff on the net whilst listening to music, music I can remember listening to thus far:
Earth Angel - version from back to the future
Somewhere near Japan - Beach Boys
Girl - Beatles
In my life - Beatles
best of me,- Bryan adams
hearts on fire - John cafferty
thorn in my side - eurythmics
she's a star - James
The world you love- Jimmy Eat World
sun and the rain - madness
monday morning 5:19 - Rialto
they might be giants - birdhouse in your soul
Zoom - fat larrys band
everybodys talkin'- Harry Nilsson
faces in a dream - Hurricane #1
the more you ignore me - Morrissey
Nothing compares 2 U - Sinead o' Connor
Up the junction - squeeze
There are more but I can't be arsed to look at my played list.
I read that James have got a new album out on April 7th called 'Hey Ma' So I'm quite looking forward to that, obviously I'll be buying a copy and not illegally downloading it.
Oh god, 'all time high' by Rita Coolidge has just started playing, it's the theme from Octopussy, I don't remember clicking it, but it's actually a nice song.
So I don't know what tomorrow has planned for me, I might wake up dead for all I know.
Sorry that this blog has been a bit, meh, this week but I've been blogging all week, my writers have gone on strike so I've had to write it all myself.
I got a comment on my last blog from a 'female' that says 'hi, x' which I though was cool then realised that it was from Jof (probably) nice try and thanks for trying. I kind of hoped it was from a real girl I like called, actually I won't say her name! I wish Louise Wener from Sleeper would get back in touch with me, she rocks my socks, lol.
Right I think that'll do for now, it's 22:15 on a Saturday night, I've drained my dregs of tea and I can't be arsed writing any more. Gonna go check facebook and see who owns me now, I keep buying people and then they don't do anything, what's the point?
Have a great Sunday, Speak to you all soon.
Don't forget that Tuesday is April fools day, I'm going to Australia for two weeks, but don't tell Lee as it's a surprise.
Woggzeh
I'm practising French, I can't believe how much I forgot, but it's all flooding back to me now, but that's enough of that as all you need to know in French is 'which way to England?' And if you say anything loud enough in France you usually get what you want anyway.
So I'm at a bit of a loss this weekend because everyone has gone down to Wales for little Ben and Claire's wedding, I didn't go due to reasons I'm not telling you, so fuck off you nosey bastard, But I wish them all the best for their future.
So I've had nowt to do this weekend, Friday night was getting tedious, I had done everything there was to do, check emails, check facebook, look at porn, check facebook, read the news, check facebook, had a wank, checked facebook, so at about 7:30 with only my hand support for conversation, (Can't remember if I told you but I've sprained my thumb and it's not getting better) I phoned Matt to see what he was doing and if he wanted to go out, (I didn't tell him that his options were limited to 'yeah alright')
So we went to town, the rat and parrot was pretty busy but was a bit dull, I don't know why, I blame the company I was with, haha! then we decided to go to Yates' so we walked down the hill to find that it was shut! I don't know why it was shut, probably Matt's fault, so I decided on Monteys I got a Grolsch (I even got to open it myself, which is better than when Kristy worked there, I'm sure she opened my beer to piss me off) then sat down with Matt who spotted a friend and buggered off and chatted to him for the duration of my beer, so that was fun, luckily Monteys always plays cool music to listen to and there was some talent to keep my eye on, we left there (kissing McParty on the way out) and went to spoonies, I really don't get that place, it's cheap which is nice but has as much life in it as a dead cat; at least with a dead cat you can scare girls with it, Spoonies is just dull, they need music, although Matt had a great idea of transforming it into a cool rave venue.
We decided to go back up the hill to Native State, but that was shut too!! Matt's fault again I guess.
So we decided to go to Crabtrees, I've not been there in ages, and nothing has changed, the bar staff are the same and they recognised me too even though I was wearing my comedy beard, the beer in there is really good for some reason, trashy pub/good beer. I saw Donna and Kate and chatted with them, Donna is now a mum and Kate is still 'lost' you have to tell her things twice before they sink in and for someone like me who (without blowing my own trumpet) thinks fast, talks fast and moves on, this can be frustrating but she's quite hot so I'll forgive her, then we went to banyan (dear god) pretentious fucks with pretentious hair and pretentious clothes, with their pretentious friends drinking their pretentious drinks packed into a pretentious pub all being wankers, at least you know where they all are on a Friday night though! Then went back to the rat and parrot and met Kate and Donna again, so we sat and had a few drinks with them, then they suggested we go with them to Flares, which I wasn't too fussed about but Matt (a bit drunk) thought it was the best idea in the world, so we went with them, only to get refused for wearing trainers, so the girls went to the taxi rank where they know people and changed their shoes and got in, I tried to get in again and would have done but Matt was stopped again, So he started being a bit cheeky to the bouncers, I explained that my shoes were orthopaedic and he was a bit sympathetic and told me to bring a doctors note next time, he said he wouldn't let Matt in because of his trainers and I told them that his shoes were orthopaedic too and we were on a therapy night out, needless to say this resulted in us walking home.
Tonight (Saturday) has been a bit boring, Villa got stuffed by Man Utd and I have got a bottle of Jack Daniels but no coke and it's raining so I'm not going out. So I've settled for drinking tea.
I've been reading loads of cool stuff on the net whilst listening to music, music I can remember listening to thus far:
Earth Angel - version from back to the future
Somewhere near Japan - Beach Boys
Girl - Beatles
In my life - Beatles
best of me,- Bryan adams
hearts on fire - John cafferty
thorn in my side - eurythmics
she's a star - James
The world you love- Jimmy Eat World
sun and the rain - madness
monday morning 5:19 - Rialto
they might be giants - birdhouse in your soul
Zoom - fat larrys band
everybodys talkin'- Harry Nilsson
faces in a dream - Hurricane #1
the more you ignore me - Morrissey
Nothing compares 2 U - Sinead o' Connor
Up the junction - squeeze
There are more but I can't be arsed to look at my played list.
I read that James have got a new album out on April 7th called 'Hey Ma' So I'm quite looking forward to that, obviously I'll be buying a copy and not illegally downloading it.
Oh god, 'all time high' by Rita Coolidge has just started playing, it's the theme from Octopussy, I don't remember clicking it, but it's actually a nice song.
So I don't know what tomorrow has planned for me, I might wake up dead for all I know.
Sorry that this blog has been a bit, meh, this week but I've been blogging all week, my writers have gone on strike so I've had to write it all myself.
I got a comment on my last blog from a 'female' that says 'hi, x' which I though was cool then realised that it was from Jof (probably) nice try and thanks for trying. I kind of hoped it was from a real girl I like called, actually I won't say her name! I wish Louise Wener from Sleeper would get back in touch with me, she rocks my socks, lol.
Right I think that'll do for now, it's 22:15 on a Saturday night, I've drained my dregs of tea and I can't be arsed writing any more. Gonna go check facebook and see who owns me now, I keep buying people and then they don't do anything, what's the point?
Have a great Sunday, Speak to you all soon.
Don't forget that Tuesday is April fools day, I'm going to Australia for two weeks, but don't tell Lee as it's a surprise.
Woggzeh
Thursday, March 27, 2008
And he's making wine from water, While he dresses like his daughter, And we know that he's a rip off, 'Cos we've seen him with his kit off.
Wotcha, just been doing a lot of thinking today.
I've noticed recently that my blogs have become a lot less spiteful and sweary, admittedly, I cut the swearing down a bit because Lee couldn't access Woggzeh's World at college due to a ban on swear words, but I think it's mainly because of girls.
I now know that more girls than boys admit to reading my blog and I think subconsciously I don't want them to know what a vicious little spiteful cunt I really can be, I'd rather them think I'm funny and cool more funny to be honest; besides, you never know, one of the girls might be single, might have a mate who's single, might just want a shag and all that girls seem to look for in a man, is one who can make them laugh anyway! (this fact is bollocks) just try this test: Single girl walks into the pub, and stood at the bar is Johnny Depp (not renowned for his sense of humour) he's got a pint and he's talking to Ken Dodd, now which one are you gonna take home??
"laugh em into bed" is a sentence that gets branded around way too much too, I generally get laughed at IN bed, "Is that it? where's the rest of it, What do you mean it's erect already?" you know, all these things that a man has to go through, just because you like a man who makes you laugh, like when you're in bed with a bird you get all excited and you do what you do, then you hear the dreaded words, 'Is it in yet?' and you almost cry with self pity before putting on the manly voice and say these words, "Is it in yet?? I'm fuckin' done!" Then you roll over and gently cry yourself to sleep, wishing that you'd knocked one out earlier so you could last all of 60 seconds, (personal record).
What I'm asking is, honestly, how much does humour have to do with you choosing a man?
I personally think it has more to do with what they look like for your own bragging rights, so your mates say, 'phwoor', rather than (my category), 'yeah, he's funny/cool/nice' (Is it actually true that women care more about what their friends think about them rather than being happy themselves?)
If anyone has an answer then fucking send it in, because I can't be arsed going to a gym, besides it would probably be dangerous for me (not because of a heart attack, just my little man syndrome would get me in trouble), and if I was at the gym all the time, I'd never get time to write this fucking blog so you can have a laugh, And there we are, "you like me 'cos I'm funny"
Just to clear things up, I'm not in a bad mood or trying to be nasty to all you lovely ladies (single and not single) I'm just bored.
P.S If you fancy a date/drink/ride, or all three, then leave me a message. :-) (females only)
Woggzeh
I've noticed recently that my blogs have become a lot less spiteful and sweary, admittedly, I cut the swearing down a bit because Lee couldn't access Woggzeh's World at college due to a ban on swear words, but I think it's mainly because of girls.
I now know that more girls than boys admit to reading my blog and I think subconsciously I don't want them to know what a vicious little spiteful cunt I really can be, I'd rather them think I'm funny and cool more funny to be honest; besides, you never know, one of the girls might be single, might have a mate who's single, might just want a shag and all that girls seem to look for in a man, is one who can make them laugh anyway! (this fact is bollocks) just try this test: Single girl walks into the pub, and stood at the bar is Johnny Depp (not renowned for his sense of humour) he's got a pint and he's talking to Ken Dodd, now which one are you gonna take home??
"laugh em into bed" is a sentence that gets branded around way too much too, I generally get laughed at IN bed, "Is that it? where's the rest of it, What do you mean it's erect already?" you know, all these things that a man has to go through, just because you like a man who makes you laugh, like when you're in bed with a bird you get all excited and you do what you do, then you hear the dreaded words, 'Is it in yet?' and you almost cry with self pity before putting on the manly voice and say these words, "Is it in yet?? I'm fuckin' done!" Then you roll over and gently cry yourself to sleep, wishing that you'd knocked one out earlier so you could last all of 60 seconds, (personal record).
What I'm asking is, honestly, how much does humour have to do with you choosing a man?
I personally think it has more to do with what they look like for your own bragging rights, so your mates say, 'phwoor', rather than (my category), 'yeah, he's funny/cool/nice' (Is it actually true that women care more about what their friends think about them rather than being happy themselves?)
If anyone has an answer then fucking send it in, because I can't be arsed going to a gym, besides it would probably be dangerous for me (not because of a heart attack, just my little man syndrome would get me in trouble), and if I was at the gym all the time, I'd never get time to write this fucking blog so you can have a laugh, And there we are, "you like me 'cos I'm funny"
Just to clear things up, I'm not in a bad mood or trying to be nasty to all you lovely ladies (single and not single) I'm just bored.
P.S If you fancy a date/drink/ride, or all three, then leave me a message. :-) (females only)
Woggzeh
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I never thought it would happen, With me and the girl from Clapham, Out on a windy common, that night I aint forgotten.
So what the fuck was Easter all about?
I'm not talking about the religious bollocks that we get rammed down our throats, I'm talking about what does it all amount to nowadays?
I've just had my first day back and as it's the 'Easter holidays' some people aren't back until next week, those who were there, looked as miserable as the weather and all asked the same thing, "now then, did you have a good Easter?" And just to be polite I say, "yeah".
But that's all it has become now, It's not some religious smite campaign any more, it's just an excuse for a few days off work, days which seem to be over before you can blink and are suddenly back at work and the days have become twice as long and you are suddenly more tired than ever before, days off work are a pain in the arse, well, it's not the days off that are a pain in the arse, it's the 'returning to work' bit that is the problem.
Did anybody do anything special over Easter? No!! Well What are you supposed to do apart from drink?
I didn't even realise until Thursday night that it was 'Monday/Thursday' Which I think is an accolade to the four worst days of the working week and you have to pronounce it like you are Jamaican!
Then there is Good Friday, Which I think is an accolade to the worst day in Jesus' life, where the bad guys got the good guy and kicked him senseless and then pegged him to a cross, Where he moaned a bucket about forgiveness, 'forgive them father, for they know not what they have done' (clearly delusional, because they knew full well what they had done, they had just crucified a nut job who talks to himself and says he was talking to God when questioned about his more and more apparent deterioration of his mental health).
Then you have Easter Saturday, Which I think is an accolade to The Worst result in Aston Villa's season (losing 1-0 to Sunderland, AT HOME!!)
Then you have Easter Sunday, which I think is an accolade to the worse gift you can give someone, a chocolate egg, a foodstuff that gives me migraines! And to top it all, they are overpriced, I think Jesus did something clever on Easter Sunday too, but it's inconsequential now as we have moved on 2000 odd years since he fucked about with history.
Then there is Easter Monday, which I think is an accolade to the worst hangover you can have over the Easter weekend.
Everyone (except me) is back to work on the Tuesday, which isn't called Easter Tuesday, it's 'fuck me, the long weekend went quick Tuesday' and you see the same old faces and do the same old things, and ask the same old question, "did you have a nice Easter?" Because you want people to think you care.
Woggzeh
I'm not talking about the religious bollocks that we get rammed down our throats, I'm talking about what does it all amount to nowadays?
I've just had my first day back and as it's the 'Easter holidays' some people aren't back until next week, those who were there, looked as miserable as the weather and all asked the same thing, "now then, did you have a good Easter?" And just to be polite I say, "yeah".
But that's all it has become now, It's not some religious smite campaign any more, it's just an excuse for a few days off work, days which seem to be over before you can blink and are suddenly back at work and the days have become twice as long and you are suddenly more tired than ever before, days off work are a pain in the arse, well, it's not the days off that are a pain in the arse, it's the 'returning to work' bit that is the problem.
Did anybody do anything special over Easter? No!! Well What are you supposed to do apart from drink?
I didn't even realise until Thursday night that it was 'Monday/Thursday' Which I think is an accolade to the four worst days of the working week and you have to pronounce it like you are Jamaican!
Then there is Good Friday, Which I think is an accolade to the worst day in Jesus' life, where the bad guys got the good guy and kicked him senseless and then pegged him to a cross, Where he moaned a bucket about forgiveness, 'forgive them father, for they know not what they have done' (clearly delusional, because they knew full well what they had done, they had just crucified a nut job who talks to himself and says he was talking to God when questioned about his more and more apparent deterioration of his mental health).
Then you have Easter Saturday, Which I think is an accolade to The Worst result in Aston Villa's season (losing 1-0 to Sunderland, AT HOME!!)
Then you have Easter Sunday, which I think is an accolade to the worse gift you can give someone, a chocolate egg, a foodstuff that gives me migraines! And to top it all, they are overpriced, I think Jesus did something clever on Easter Sunday too, but it's inconsequential now as we have moved on 2000 odd years since he fucked about with history.
Then there is Easter Monday, which I think is an accolade to the worst hangover you can have over the Easter weekend.
Everyone (except me) is back to work on the Tuesday, which isn't called Easter Tuesday, it's 'fuck me, the long weekend went quick Tuesday' and you see the same old faces and do the same old things, and ask the same old question, "did you have a nice Easter?" Because you want people to think you care.
Woggzeh
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Just for tonight, Just maybe we'll make it, Sing like you want this, Sing like you want this.
Currently listening to Ravels "Bolero" Can't really use the lyrics from that as this weeks title, so I've chosen a band that are everywhere at the minute, A band that Bullough probably hates, but fuck him.
Well, I wasn't sure if I should bother doing an update this week/anymore as Sir Jof has blown all competition out of the water with his recent blog update, It's simply perfect, well written and the subject that he's written about is just perfect too, I bow down to you Sir Joffrey, Now keep it up! I would love to write about how I first met Jof, but it would be pretty similar to his blog but not half as good, in fact it would go like this, 'One day, Jof wasn't in my life, then the next day he was' and the sad thing is that I would write that about everyone I know, I don't know when I first met Trelly, or Chris or Bull or any other fucker who I know, I just know you and you are better for it!
So what have I got to say for myself this week? sweet F.A. as usual.
I have done a public information film on being cool, Trelly filmed it and uploaded it onto Facebook, you can check it if you go here: How to be cool
If it doesn't work then fuck it, you'll never be cool anyway.
I suppose I should wish you all a Happy Easter as today is Easter, just in case any of you were wondering why you have lots of chocolate eggs around your person. Unless you are Kristy who bought 500 Easter eggs a couple of months ago when they were on offer at Asda and promptly ate them all!!
There was loads of Police action around Trelly's gaff this week, the Police were doing something at a house for 8 hours on Wednesday, took away a couple of cars on a truck and emptied a house and there were loads of cops about and a really fucking hot one who parked her car right outside Trelly's window, Then last night there were two police cars that had got a group of kids, it was about midnight so I'm guessing they were around ten years old, they didn't get arrested or out but when they were released they just laughed an giggled like it was cool, When I was 10 years old, I would have been crying with fear if the Police stopped me, The only way I would laugh and giggle like them would be if someone mentioned the word, 'fart' and if someone actually farted, then hold me down because I would giggle uncontrollably until milk came out of my nose, even if I hadn't been drinking milk!
Once again I am at pains to try and fill up a decent blog, do you think I should stop doing a weekly update and go back to updating when I can be arsed, or do you sleep better at night knowing that there will be an update every Sunday for you to read?
That'll do for now, apart from telling Lee to stop smoking! who do you think you are?
Woggzeh.
Well, I wasn't sure if I should bother doing an update this week/anymore as Sir Jof has blown all competition out of the water with his recent blog update, It's simply perfect, well written and the subject that he's written about is just perfect too, I bow down to you Sir Joffrey, Now keep it up! I would love to write about how I first met Jof, but it would be pretty similar to his blog but not half as good, in fact it would go like this, 'One day, Jof wasn't in my life, then the next day he was' and the sad thing is that I would write that about everyone I know, I don't know when I first met Trelly, or Chris or Bull or any other fucker who I know, I just know you and you are better for it!
So what have I got to say for myself this week? sweet F.A. as usual.
I have done a public information film on being cool, Trelly filmed it and uploaded it onto Facebook, you can check it if you go here: How to be cool
If it doesn't work then fuck it, you'll never be cool anyway.
I suppose I should wish you all a Happy Easter as today is Easter, just in case any of you were wondering why you have lots of chocolate eggs around your person. Unless you are Kristy who bought 500 Easter eggs a couple of months ago when they were on offer at Asda and promptly ate them all!!
There was loads of Police action around Trelly's gaff this week, the Police were doing something at a house for 8 hours on Wednesday, took away a couple of cars on a truck and emptied a house and there were loads of cops about and a really fucking hot one who parked her car right outside Trelly's window, Then last night there were two police cars that had got a group of kids, it was about midnight so I'm guessing they were around ten years old, they didn't get arrested or out but when they were released they just laughed an giggled like it was cool, When I was 10 years old, I would have been crying with fear if the Police stopped me, The only way I would laugh and giggle like them would be if someone mentioned the word, 'fart' and if someone actually farted, then hold me down because I would giggle uncontrollably until milk came out of my nose, even if I hadn't been drinking milk!
Once again I am at pains to try and fill up a decent blog, do you think I should stop doing a weekly update and go back to updating when I can be arsed, or do you sleep better at night knowing that there will be an update every Sunday for you to read?
That'll do for now, apart from telling Lee to stop smoking! who do you think you are?
Woggzeh.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Day man, Fighter of the Night man, Champion of the sun, You’re a master of karate and friendship…for everyone.
Good day to you all.
First of all, watch this:
That is a clip from, possibly the funniest show on television, it's called, "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" that particular episode is from a season 3 episode called 'Sweet Dee dates a retarded person'
Really you have to watch it sometime, download it, steal it from the shops or anything, join in the laughter and you'll be a happier person for it.
What to say? what to do?
Sports relief weekend this weekend and I did my bit by watching Top Ground Gear Force (BBC2 Friday) that was hilarious, did you watch it? I'd like to say well done to Kristy, she did a mile run today, I didn't sponsor her, not that it would matter as I only ever sponsor 1p a mile, but regardless of that, she did something for charity and no one else I know did! so well done lass!
This week has been productive, Paul, Trelly and myself have come up with a great idea for a website, (It was mostly my idea, but Trelly came up with the name, Paul added the enthusiasm that Trelly or myself don't possess.) the idea is a website, that covers the UK (to start with) and blokes write a profile of their ex girlfriends, what she's like, what's annoying about her, how much will she take you for, etc etc and then, when another mis-fortunate guy meets her in the pub and arranges a date, he can check the website and find out if she's worth the £9.99 meal for two offer. The name Trelly came out with was, "Is she crazy.com"
The best bit is, you have to sign up and pay to read the profiles, also you can do it the other way too, so the women write profiles about their ex boyfriends, thus doubling our revenue, I have suggested that we get Lee to write most of the profiles as he has been out with most of the women in Harrogate, (most of the men too) Anyway, it's still in our heads as a good idea but no one can be arsed to make it happen, what do you think about the idea?, and no nicking it!!
I phoned Lee last night (£40 a minute to ring him b.t.w) I don't know what I said as I was pissed and had some Wacky baccy too, then I rang up Sir Jof of Reading to see what he was up to, in retrospect it was a bit silly of me as it was about 3am, but he was awake and walking home in the rain, note to anyone here, if you make a phone call at 3am, always start the conversation with, 'Hey mate, I hope I didn't wake you' this way they will think you are very courteous and totally forget that if you had an ounce of courtesy in your body then you wouldn't be phoning them up at 3am, but, as I said, he was awake and he appreciated me ringing as I gave him commentary of my walk home so he could reminisce about the days he used to live in Harrogate, he does miss the place, people, even if you all hate it, Sir Jof loves it, like me.
Anyway, I think I've said enough for this week, Don't forget to check out, It's always sunny... I promise you will love it.
Woggzeh.
P.s H.M.V have an awesome sale on at the moment, I got Superman Returns 2 disc dvd for £3!
First of all, watch this:
That is a clip from, possibly the funniest show on television, it's called, "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" that particular episode is from a season 3 episode called 'Sweet Dee dates a retarded person'
Really you have to watch it sometime, download it, steal it from the shops or anything, join in the laughter and you'll be a happier person for it.
What to say? what to do?
Sports relief weekend this weekend and I did my bit by watching Top Ground Gear Force (BBC2 Friday) that was hilarious, did you watch it? I'd like to say well done to Kristy, she did a mile run today, I didn't sponsor her, not that it would matter as I only ever sponsor 1p a mile, but regardless of that, she did something for charity and no one else I know did! so well done lass!
This week has been productive, Paul, Trelly and myself have come up with a great idea for a website, (It was mostly my idea, but Trelly came up with the name, Paul added the enthusiasm that Trelly or myself don't possess.) the idea is a website, that covers the UK (to start with) and blokes write a profile of their ex girlfriends, what she's like, what's annoying about her, how much will she take you for, etc etc and then, when another mis-fortunate guy meets her in the pub and arranges a date, he can check the website and find out if she's worth the £9.99 meal for two offer. The name Trelly came out with was, "Is she crazy.com"
The best bit is, you have to sign up and pay to read the profiles, also you can do it the other way too, so the women write profiles about their ex boyfriends, thus doubling our revenue, I have suggested that we get Lee to write most of the profiles as he has been out with most of the women in Harrogate, (most of the men too) Anyway, it's still in our heads as a good idea but no one can be arsed to make it happen, what do you think about the idea?, and no nicking it!!
I phoned Lee last night (£40 a minute to ring him b.t.w) I don't know what I said as I was pissed and had some Wacky baccy too, then I rang up Sir Jof of Reading to see what he was up to, in retrospect it was a bit silly of me as it was about 3am, but he was awake and walking home in the rain, note to anyone here, if you make a phone call at 3am, always start the conversation with, 'Hey mate, I hope I didn't wake you' this way they will think you are very courteous and totally forget that if you had an ounce of courtesy in your body then you wouldn't be phoning them up at 3am, but, as I said, he was awake and he appreciated me ringing as I gave him commentary of my walk home so he could reminisce about the days he used to live in Harrogate, he does miss the place, people, even if you all hate it, Sir Jof loves it, like me.
Anyway, I think I've said enough for this week, Don't forget to check out, It's always sunny... I promise you will love it.
Woggzeh.
P.s H.M.V have an awesome sale on at the moment, I got Superman Returns 2 disc dvd for £3!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
To you I guess I'm just a clown, Who picks you up each time you're down, Oh baby.
Now then now then then now now then.
How are you all? I wish I had written this blog on Friday because I had loads of things planned to write about and now it's Sunday and the effects of copious amounts of alcohol means that I've got fuck all to say.
I'd like to say hello to Janine, who admitted to reading my blog and even went as far as saying that it's funny and witty, (clearly she is mad) but, regardless, I thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy my ramblings.
It's a big week for couples this week, (after Valentines day, which is for women) this Friday is the men's day, yes, Friday the fourteenth of March is "Steak and a Blow job day" I've made it a link so you can check it out. If you are a couple then it's pretty obvious what is expected of you, if you are single then things are a bit more difficult, however, I have come up with an idea, sometime this week, go up to a girl you quite like (or one with cracking knockers) and invite her for a steak dinner on Friday, don't spoil the surprise now though, keep the BJ bit under your hat for now, because I suggest you tell her that part of the bargain during the meal, Imagine the look of joy on her face, (you old romantic you!) make sure you finish your meal before you let your lady go to work, (do NOT assume to pose of one hand on your hip and the other on the back of your ladies head) it will be a fantastic evening and you know the best part? because it's your day, you can ask for another one straight after! it might cost you another steak but I think it's a small price to pay, (if you are a couple, the female should pay for the steak!)
Good luck everybody.
It's Bullough's birthday on Monday he'll be 28, so I wish you many happy returns, I saw him last night because he came to Harrogate with his missus and we went to Robins to play on his Wii which was fucking ace, I played tennis and was brilliant at it, although it's the most strenuous work out I've done in years, Hannah made loads of food and a really impressive cake of a monkeys head, I didn't eat any because I'm not a fan of cake unless it's space cake, we also watched Rambo that Bradders had brought round, I went back to Trelly's at 2am to watch the boxing, which didn't start until 2:20am and was over in the second round! I went home at around 3am drunk! I was gonna phone Joffers but decided against it, I don't think I phoned anyone, but if I did, then whoops, sorry.
I also feel like I have been aiming this blog towards the ladies over the last month, I put two pictures of me on here so now it's time to re address the balance, I am posting a picture of my new obsession, (I say new, I've been in love with this girl for years) her name is Alexandra Sim-Wise (if anyone wants her picture sets then let me know) and if you look to my list of links you can go to her Myspace page and add her as a friend, I suggest you read her blog too because she is funny as fuck!
Well I shall bid you farewell for this week, good luck on Friday lads.
Woggzeh
How are you all? I wish I had written this blog on Friday because I had loads of things planned to write about and now it's Sunday and the effects of copious amounts of alcohol means that I've got fuck all to say.
I'd like to say hello to Janine, who admitted to reading my blog and even went as far as saying that it's funny and witty, (clearly she is mad) but, regardless, I thank you and I hope you continue to enjoy my ramblings.
It's a big week for couples this week, (after Valentines day, which is for women) this Friday is the men's day, yes, Friday the fourteenth of March is "Steak and a Blow job day" I've made it a link so you can check it out. If you are a couple then it's pretty obvious what is expected of you, if you are single then things are a bit more difficult, however, I have come up with an idea, sometime this week, go up to a girl you quite like (or one with cracking knockers) and invite her for a steak dinner on Friday, don't spoil the surprise now though, keep the BJ bit under your hat for now, because I suggest you tell her that part of the bargain during the meal, Imagine the look of joy on her face, (you old romantic you!) make sure you finish your meal before you let your lady go to work, (do NOT assume to pose of one hand on your hip and the other on the back of your ladies head) it will be a fantastic evening and you know the best part? because it's your day, you can ask for another one straight after! it might cost you another steak but I think it's a small price to pay, (if you are a couple, the female should pay for the steak!)
Good luck everybody.
It's Bullough's birthday on Monday he'll be 28, so I wish you many happy returns, I saw him last night because he came to Harrogate with his missus and we went to Robins to play on his Wii which was fucking ace, I played tennis and was brilliant at it, although it's the most strenuous work out I've done in years, Hannah made loads of food and a really impressive cake of a monkeys head, I didn't eat any because I'm not a fan of cake unless it's space cake, we also watched Rambo that Bradders had brought round, I went back to Trelly's at 2am to watch the boxing, which didn't start until 2:20am and was over in the second round! I went home at around 3am drunk! I was gonna phone Joffers but decided against it, I don't think I phoned anyone, but if I did, then whoops, sorry.
I also feel like I have been aiming this blog towards the ladies over the last month, I put two pictures of me on here so now it's time to re address the balance, I am posting a picture of my new obsession, (I say new, I've been in love with this girl for years) her name is Alexandra Sim-Wise (if anyone wants her picture sets then let me know) and if you look to my list of links you can go to her Myspace page and add her as a friend, I suggest you read her blog too because she is funny as fuck!
Well I shall bid you farewell for this week, good luck on Friday lads.
Woggzeh
Sunday, March 02, 2008
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day, I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day,
Good afternoon shit stains.
I really must stop playing guitar hero! it's a great game and I'm rubbish at it I've only managed to do one song on the medium setting, which means I am pants at it, If there are any beginners out there, then I suggest you try "Schools Out" or "Rock and Roll all Night" because they are pretty easy.
I'll warn you now there is a bit of toilet humour included in the blog this week, so if you are easily offended, then fuck off now.
Tuesday I was on site and it was the end of the day so I went for a piss, I'm standing at the urinal and another bloke rushes in and goes to the toilet for a shit, I'm just finishing up when I hear the bloke sigh and say, "oh, for fuck's sake" I give out a little guffaw which alerts the man to my presence, I know full well what has happened and was stifling a really big laugh, you know you shouldn't laugh but you are so glad it's not you, you have to laugh! anyway, matey in the bog, realising I am still there, says, "ere mate can you do us a favour?"
"what's that mate?"
"can you get us some bog roll please?"
So I'm sniggering like a mad man and go into the other toilet and grab the bog roll and pass it over to him, that was my good deed for the day, but in retrospect I should have told him to go fuck himself because he should have checked for paper before he sat down!
Wednesday as I'm walking along the corridor with my dad on site when we pass two sparkies working up a ladder when I happen to let off the smelliest fart (an s.b.d) you have ever witnessed, I carry on walking and listen to these two guys blame each other for the smell,
"you shit yourself?"
"fuck off cunt it wasn't me"
"well it wasn't fucking me you smelly fucking cunt"
"fuck off, it wasn't me"
it carried on like that until I turned a corner and told my dad that it was me and then he started laughing because he thought it was one of the sparkies too!
I had a text from Lee this morning, it reads,
"you know when you fart and you feel like you might follow through? well heed the warning, don't 'go for it'"
I love getting texts from Lee, they are usually random and generally funny, cheers me up, so thanks man, but how about a text telling me how you are? or a blog update?
I have been looking around for a counter for this blog, I'd love to know how many visitors a day I get, I'm guessing but I think I may get as many as five people a day reading this, or if everyone left a comment then I would know, but I think I'd want a counter (nowt wrong with comments but you fuckers don't bother commenting) but there are no counters out there to add to my blog, and I bet there is no one out there who could write me some script for one that works!
Well, I'm gonna get off, gotta play snooker in a bit.
Question of the week, "Who do you think about when you masturbate?" (if anyone answers that question, then I bet it's anonymous)
Take care people, have a good week.
Woggzeh
I really must stop playing guitar hero! it's a great game and I'm rubbish at it I've only managed to do one song on the medium setting, which means I am pants at it, If there are any beginners out there, then I suggest you try "Schools Out" or "Rock and Roll all Night" because they are pretty easy.
I'll warn you now there is a bit of toilet humour included in the blog this week, so if you are easily offended, then fuck off now.
Tuesday I was on site and it was the end of the day so I went for a piss, I'm standing at the urinal and another bloke rushes in and goes to the toilet for a shit, I'm just finishing up when I hear the bloke sigh and say, "oh, for fuck's sake" I give out a little guffaw which alerts the man to my presence, I know full well what has happened and was stifling a really big laugh, you know you shouldn't laugh but you are so glad it's not you, you have to laugh! anyway, matey in the bog, realising I am still there, says, "ere mate can you do us a favour?"
"what's that mate?"
"can you get us some bog roll please?"
So I'm sniggering like a mad man and go into the other toilet and grab the bog roll and pass it over to him, that was my good deed for the day, but in retrospect I should have told him to go fuck himself because he should have checked for paper before he sat down!
Wednesday as I'm walking along the corridor with my dad on site when we pass two sparkies working up a ladder when I happen to let off the smelliest fart (an s.b.d) you have ever witnessed, I carry on walking and listen to these two guys blame each other for the smell,
"you shit yourself?"
"fuck off cunt it wasn't me"
"well it wasn't fucking me you smelly fucking cunt"
"fuck off, it wasn't me"
it carried on like that until I turned a corner and told my dad that it was me and then he started laughing because he thought it was one of the sparkies too!
I had a text from Lee this morning, it reads,
"you know when you fart and you feel like you might follow through? well heed the warning, don't 'go for it'"
I love getting texts from Lee, they are usually random and generally funny, cheers me up, so thanks man, but how about a text telling me how you are? or a blog update?
I have been looking around for a counter for this blog, I'd love to know how many visitors a day I get, I'm guessing but I think I may get as many as five people a day reading this, or if everyone left a comment then I would know, but I think I'd want a counter (nowt wrong with comments but you fuckers don't bother commenting) but there are no counters out there to add to my blog, and I bet there is no one out there who could write me some script for one that works!
Well, I'm gonna get off, gotta play snooker in a bit.
Question of the week, "Who do you think about when you masturbate?" (if anyone answers that question, then I bet it's anonymous)
Take care people, have a good week.
Woggzeh
Monday, February 25, 2008
I can't wait for my next drink, The first one is gonna sink, I'm the last of the big time drinkers.
Just a quickie (I spelled quiche)
My disciplinary hearing today was brilliant! honestly, I don't think I could have come out looking any better, I wouldn't be surprised if I get a knighthood, The bloke isn't pressing charges, he wasn't even supposed to be on our site, he is working on a different contract elsewhere in the building that I was working on a few weeks ago, he's now banned from site, he's been reported to his company, because he's not insured to be on our site. I'm still on a final warning but everyone was on my side, including the builder from the other site who admitted (off record) that the pipe fitter is a twat and would like to hit him himself.
Oh and I can even submit a bill for the time I lost during the disciplinary, although I doubt they will pay it and it may have been said in jest.
I would like to apologise to everyone I snapped at this weekend, I know Saturday's blog made light of it, but I've had it niggling in my head all weekend and on Sunday I was going out of my mind with stress and worry, so I've been a little bit out of character, but I'm glad to say it's over and I had nowt to worry about.
Sorry again folks.
Woggzeh.
My disciplinary hearing today was brilliant! honestly, I don't think I could have come out looking any better, I wouldn't be surprised if I get a knighthood, The bloke isn't pressing charges, he wasn't even supposed to be on our site, he is working on a different contract elsewhere in the building that I was working on a few weeks ago, he's now banned from site, he's been reported to his company, because he's not insured to be on our site. I'm still on a final warning but everyone was on my side, including the builder from the other site who admitted (off record) that the pipe fitter is a twat and would like to hit him himself.
Oh and I can even submit a bill for the time I lost during the disciplinary, although I doubt they will pay it and it may have been said in jest.
I would like to apologise to everyone I snapped at this weekend, I know Saturday's blog made light of it, but I've had it niggling in my head all weekend and on Sunday I was going out of my mind with stress and worry, so I've been a little bit out of character, but I'm glad to say it's over and I had nowt to worry about.
Sorry again folks.
Woggzeh.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take ya, Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go, Jamaica off the Florida keys....
Now then people of the world, I'm a day early this week.
This picture is to prove to you that I do work safely sometimes, please note the Hard hat, high viz vest, safety boots, safety goggles and the safety beard, the tower is erected properly too!
This picture was taken about an hour before my day turned into a nightmare and ended up with me getting a verbal warning, a possible assault charge and a disciplinary hearing on Monday morning. I should explain that this is because the pipe fitter on site had been pissing me off for two days and it all got to me when he slagged off my work and called me a liar so I belted him, repeatedly, I'm not proud of it, but shit happens, it's not my first disciplinary and I doubt it'll be my last.
Changing the tone. I'd like to embed this video, (more for my sake than yours)
It's a piece of music called Recuerdos de la Alhambra (Memoirs of the Alhambra) and I think it is fantastic, the guitar playing is breathtaking and the musician is playing a ten string guitar, which I wasn't aware existed, the tremolo action is mind blowing (also check out in the background some guy tapping his foot like he's at a pop concert), the part that I love is around 1 minute 10 seconds in where the music is.... I can't explain it, it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, powerful stuff, not as powerful as Chopin (which always gets me blubbing like a little girl) but it is brilliant, there are also videos on Youtube where a woman plays this piece of music, I mean a bloody woman can do it! unbelievable, they'll be allowed to vote next.
Well I think that will do for this week, take care people.
Woggzeh
I don't know why the video has embedded twice, I can't seem to change it either as the coding isn't showing up in the create post page. Sorry peeps.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
We were friends that was as far as it went. I used to walk you home sometimes but it meant, oh it meant nothing to you, 'cos you were so popular.
Now then.
Been a shitty week really, what with the disappointment of Valentines day and all that jazz, I've been at the bottom of a bottle since, attempting to consume as much alcohol as humanly possible and then some.....(before you ask, it's my fault this time and we're still friends)
But I do have something rather amusing to tell you.
I got up the other morning at about 5am to go to work and I couldn't find any pants, it was early and I wanted to still be asleep, I eventually found a pair of boxers and put them on thinking they were a bit tight, then realising that I had managed to get my leg through a hole in them that appeared between the leg holes (the gusset bit? I dunno) effectively looking like I had three leg holes, but I thought fuck it and wore them anyway, then got dressed for work, I get to work, shimmy up the scaffold, over stretch then felt an amazingly cold draft as I realise that my Jeans have split in the same place as my Boxers were split and everything I had tucked into them was now dangling down through the hole, "oh fuck" I cried, "don't look up" I said to my dad, who then immediately looked up and started laughing, I had to gingerly retain my modesty and climb down from the scaffold, I had to go get some duct tape and head off to the toilets and do a rather crude repair job on my jeans, which worked but was extremely uncomfortable for the rest of the day, needless to say the offending articles of clothing were promptly thrown into the bin when I got home, because if I hadn't then I could guarantee you that I'd pick them up again in the future without realising. Which suggests to me that a lesson should be learned from this, if your day goes wrong within minutes of getting up, then I suggest you phone in sick and go back to bed because the day isn't going to get much better.
I've added a link to my link bit on the side because Ed Clews, ( a lad I know from school) is drawing a picture a day for a year, they're quite good so take a butchers.
Just got off the phone to my sister and Abigail (Niece) has started walking unaided so that's good news, she's nearly thirteen months old, so it's about time, I was walking at 11 months, but not everyone is a good as me. Well done Abby, Uncle Wogg is proud of ya.
Been a shitty week really, what with the disappointment of Valentines day and all that jazz, I've been at the bottom of a bottle since, attempting to consume as much alcohol as humanly possible and then some.....(before you ask, it's my fault this time and we're still friends)
But I do have something rather amusing to tell you.
I got up the other morning at about 5am to go to work and I couldn't find any pants, it was early and I wanted to still be asleep, I eventually found a pair of boxers and put them on thinking they were a bit tight, then realising that I had managed to get my leg through a hole in them that appeared between the leg holes (the gusset bit? I dunno) effectively looking like I had three leg holes, but I thought fuck it and wore them anyway, then got dressed for work, I get to work, shimmy up the scaffold, over stretch then felt an amazingly cold draft as I realise that my Jeans have split in the same place as my Boxers were split and everything I had tucked into them was now dangling down through the hole, "oh fuck" I cried, "don't look up" I said to my dad, who then immediately looked up and started laughing, I had to gingerly retain my modesty and climb down from the scaffold, I had to go get some duct tape and head off to the toilets and do a rather crude repair job on my jeans, which worked but was extremely uncomfortable for the rest of the day, needless to say the offending articles of clothing were promptly thrown into the bin when I got home, because if I hadn't then I could guarantee you that I'd pick them up again in the future without realising. Which suggests to me that a lesson should be learned from this, if your day goes wrong within minutes of getting up, then I suggest you phone in sick and go back to bed because the day isn't going to get much better.
I've added a link to my link bit on the side because Ed Clews, ( a lad I know from school) is drawing a picture a day for a year, they're quite good so take a butchers.
Just got off the phone to my sister and Abigail (Niece) has started walking unaided so that's good news, she's nearly thirteen months old, so it's about time, I was walking at 11 months, but not everyone is a good as me. Well done Abby, Uncle Wogg is proud of ya.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Maybe, maybe it's the clothes we wear, The tasteless bracelets and the dye in our hair, Maybe it's our kookiness.
Happy Sunday blog fans.
Well here we are again, it's Sunday and I have to sit and write this blog before I get complaints, literally one's of people will complain!
Well, it's been one of those weeks where I've not had much to gripe about and it's all been quite good, so I don't know what to tell you, I've just finished a job in Manchester which was ok, it was a library and I've never worked on a library before but a job is the same as any other, I've actually got a picture that my dad took on his phone, but I'll have to post it later, I want it up because it's a two fingered salute to the health and safety brigade who do your fucking nut in sometimes, I'm all for Health and Safety but it's really getting stupid and so, to counter balance the rule makers stupidity, I will also be stupid, actually, I think I'm gonna come off worse there, but we shall see..
I played snooker yesterday with Robin, first time in about a month and it showed! couldn't pot a bloody thing, I still managed to win 1-1 (it's a win to me), I also have a bit of sad news to tell people, (Jof get some tissues) I've sold my baby...yes, my Les Paul has been sold to Robin, I needed some moolah and Robin wanted a guitar, I've got first refusal on it if he decides to get rid, but I don't think he will, he's going to get some lessons and try to bring her to her former glory, which is what I want, I want her to be played and loved, not stuck in a corner (which is the way I've kept her), so hopefully Robin will be the next Collywog of guitars.
Speaking of Robin and Guitars, Matt (Robs flat mate and lover, haha, kidding) bought the game Guitar Hero, where you have to play along to the screen and hit buttons on the guitar controller and flap a paddle like you are strumming, yeah I know what you are thinking because I thought the same thing, but it's actually quite fun, it's pretty tricky but once you get the rhythm right it's pretty good, I totally rocked ''School's out'' but Matt must have been playing it 24/7 because he's fucking amazing at it! knob head!
Got a job at Westmoreland hospital next week, which is cool because it's the same journey as we take to Coniston only when we get to the roundabout at the end of the A65 to join the M6 and go camping, we turn right and go to work, booooo, but it's not far away and we could be there for a while as it's a massive contract.
I missed out on pancake day this week, I was gutted, I didn't even realise it was pancake day until I was eating my tea and watching the local news and they mentioned that pancake races had been cancelled because of health and safety fears, which, I think you'll agree is stupid, but it does round things off nicely for this weeks blog.
No hard hat, no hi viz vest, no tops on the scaffold...I'm a little bugger.
Well here we are again, it's Sunday and I have to sit and write this blog before I get complaints, literally one's of people will complain!
Well, it's been one of those weeks where I've not had much to gripe about and it's all been quite good, so I don't know what to tell you, I've just finished a job in Manchester which was ok, it was a library and I've never worked on a library before but a job is the same as any other, I've actually got a picture that my dad took on his phone, but I'll have to post it later, I want it up because it's a two fingered salute to the health and safety brigade who do your fucking nut in sometimes, I'm all for Health and Safety but it's really getting stupid and so, to counter balance the rule makers stupidity, I will also be stupid, actually, I think I'm gonna come off worse there, but we shall see..
I played snooker yesterday with Robin, first time in about a month and it showed! couldn't pot a bloody thing, I still managed to win 1-1 (it's a win to me), I also have a bit of sad news to tell people, (Jof get some tissues) I've sold my baby...yes, my Les Paul has been sold to Robin, I needed some moolah and Robin wanted a guitar, I've got first refusal on it if he decides to get rid, but I don't think he will, he's going to get some lessons and try to bring her to her former glory, which is what I want, I want her to be played and loved, not stuck in a corner (which is the way I've kept her), so hopefully Robin will be the next Collywog of guitars.
Speaking of Robin and Guitars, Matt (Robs flat mate and lover, haha, kidding) bought the game Guitar Hero, where you have to play along to the screen and hit buttons on the guitar controller and flap a paddle like you are strumming, yeah I know what you are thinking because I thought the same thing, but it's actually quite fun, it's pretty tricky but once you get the rhythm right it's pretty good, I totally rocked ''School's out'' but Matt must have been playing it 24/7 because he's fucking amazing at it! knob head!
Got a job at Westmoreland hospital next week, which is cool because it's the same journey as we take to Coniston only when we get to the roundabout at the end of the A65 to join the M6 and go camping, we turn right and go to work, booooo, but it's not far away and we could be there for a while as it's a massive contract.
I missed out on pancake day this week, I was gutted, I didn't even realise it was pancake day until I was eating my tea and watching the local news and they mentioned that pancake races had been cancelled because of health and safety fears, which, I think you'll agree is stupid, but it does round things off nicely for this weeks blog.
No hard hat, no hi viz vest, no tops on the scaffold...I'm a little bugger.
Monday, February 04, 2008
I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs, I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there, Over my shoulder a piano falls, crashing to the ground.
Now then Blog fans,
I just wanted to apologise for yesterdays blog, I was having a really shitty day and so I got myself really depressed, I'll try not to let it happen again, all is well now, Lee got bitten by a spider in Australia, which probably sounds worse than it is, but, when you live in a sweetshop, you're gonna eat some sweets. (Or something).
Laters.
Woggzeh
Oh yeah, that's what I was gonna say, did anyone, when they were a kid, watch Top Of the Pops with subtitles on, so you could learn the words to the songs?
I was reminded of this the other night when I heard the Elton John song, "Sacrifice", imagine my disappointment when I read that the lyrics go, "cold cold heart", when I'd actually been singing, "co-co-pops"
Catch you next Sunday!
I just wanted to apologise for yesterdays blog, I was having a really shitty day and so I got myself really depressed, I'll try not to let it happen again, all is well now, Lee got bitten by a spider in Australia, which probably sounds worse than it is, but, when you live in a sweetshop, you're gonna eat some sweets. (Or something).
Laters.
Woggzeh
Oh yeah, that's what I was gonna say, did anyone, when they were a kid, watch Top Of the Pops with subtitles on, so you could learn the words to the songs?
I was reminded of this the other night when I heard the Elton John song, "Sacrifice", imagine my disappointment when I read that the lyrics go, "cold cold heart", when I'd actually been singing, "co-co-pops"
Catch you next Sunday!
Sunday, February 03, 2008
She's so lovely, she's so lovely she's so lovely, she's so lovely.
Now then,
I can't be arsed doing an update but the family have come round and I'm almost suicidal with boredom and hatred that I used the excuse 'blog update' to get away from them, I'm not normally a callous hateful, spiteful person, I'm really not, it's just that my family love to remind me what a fucking waste of life I turned out to be, and to be honest, the way things are in my life at the moment, I really don't need the sneering reminder.
So apart from everything being shit, all is good, ha!
I'm working hard, which is fine but we keep turning up to jobs that arn't ready and then the company refuses to pay us for the wasted day which means that I will be taking a trip to Swansea very soon and stabbing the MD! or travel to Leeds to kill his stuck up student daughter, either way, he needs to be taught a lesson. As you can probably tell, I'm not complementary today. I'm being miserable, I'm gonna try change the mood.
I'm sure you would like an update on Kristy, she's great, I have managed to get my messaging her down to a ratio of 500:1 (on a daily basis) but you know me, I could fuck up an omelette, so I'll probably end up with her hating me, but, as it is at the moment, we are messaging a lot and I was even round her place the other day, I met her house mates who are nice, and that was probably the highlight of my week. I'm happy being friends if that's all she wants...but never say never :-)
I really don't know what to write here, I watched Charlie Wilson's War last night and it was ok, a bit slow so it's up to you if you see it.
Woggzeh.
I can't be arsed doing an update but the family have come round and I'm almost suicidal with boredom and hatred that I used the excuse 'blog update' to get away from them, I'm not normally a callous hateful, spiteful person, I'm really not, it's just that my family love to remind me what a fucking waste of life I turned out to be, and to be honest, the way things are in my life at the moment, I really don't need the sneering reminder.
So apart from everything being shit, all is good, ha!
I'm working hard, which is fine but we keep turning up to jobs that arn't ready and then the company refuses to pay us for the wasted day which means that I will be taking a trip to Swansea very soon and stabbing the MD! or travel to Leeds to kill his stuck up student daughter, either way, he needs to be taught a lesson. As you can probably tell, I'm not complementary today. I'm being miserable, I'm gonna try change the mood.
I'm sure you would like an update on Kristy, she's great, I have managed to get my messaging her down to a ratio of 500:1 (on a daily basis) but you know me, I could fuck up an omelette, so I'll probably end up with her hating me, but, as it is at the moment, we are messaging a lot and I was even round her place the other day, I met her house mates who are nice, and that was probably the highlight of my week. I'm happy being friends if that's all she wants...but never say never :-)
I really don't know what to write here, I watched Charlie Wilson's War last night and it was ok, a bit slow so it's up to you if you see it.
Woggzeh.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Gold, Always believe in your soul, You've got the power to know, You're indestructable, Always believe in,because you are, Gold
Now then my favourite people in the world united under one blog.
I actually have an update for you, I've actually done something different...I actually had a date...with a girl!
Her name is Kristy and I've been messaging her for a while now and I guess she gave up and agreed to meet me, so we were supposed to go out on Friday night but that was cancelled so we agreed on Saturday night instead, 7pm in the pub, I arrived at 6:45 (because I'm an idiot) and my heart was pounding I was so nervous, I managed to get a seat where I could see the football so that took my mind off things in between checking my watch every thirty seconds, then at 7pm on the dot, she arrived and suddenly I felt at ease and I bought her a drink and then did my usual stupid thing of talking about nothing, I had the jitters again, and I was sure she was going to figure out that I'm an idiot and walk away but she didn't, and we had a few drinks and then went to the cinema to see Sweeny Todd, twas quite good actually, I really wanted to do that thing of stretching and putting my arm round her but decided against it, the film ended and we went to the rat and parrot and had more drinks and more talking and I just couldn't stop myself staring into her eyes, they are unbelievable to look at, I'm sure this might have been annoying to Kristy but I couldn't help it, then we walked home, and I held her hand (massive grin as I write about it) I walked her to her door and had a little kiss and cuddle and then I went home, I actually floated home with my head in the clouds, it was lovely, I hope I didn't make a complete idiot of myself and I really want to see her again, So, as she reads this blog, I would like to ask you out again Kristy, preferably soon, and I'll be less nervous and more relaxed.
In other news, my niece, Abigail, has turned one, I can't believe a year has passed since her birth but it has, and so today I am going to a birthday party, I only hope we have cake!
Work is hard and I'm in Liverpool for a few more days then I have a job in Preston to start.
I hope you are all well. Take care
(A very smitten) Woggzeh.
I actually have an update for you, I've actually done something different...I actually had a date...with a girl!
Her name is Kristy and I've been messaging her for a while now and I guess she gave up and agreed to meet me, so we were supposed to go out on Friday night but that was cancelled so we agreed on Saturday night instead, 7pm in the pub, I arrived at 6:45 (because I'm an idiot) and my heart was pounding I was so nervous, I managed to get a seat where I could see the football so that took my mind off things in between checking my watch every thirty seconds, then at 7pm on the dot, she arrived and suddenly I felt at ease and I bought her a drink and then did my usual stupid thing of talking about nothing, I had the jitters again, and I was sure she was going to figure out that I'm an idiot and walk away but she didn't, and we had a few drinks and then went to the cinema to see Sweeny Todd, twas quite good actually, I really wanted to do that thing of stretching and putting my arm round her but decided against it, the film ended and we went to the rat and parrot and had more drinks and more talking and I just couldn't stop myself staring into her eyes, they are unbelievable to look at, I'm sure this might have been annoying to Kristy but I couldn't help it, then we walked home, and I held her hand (massive grin as I write about it) I walked her to her door and had a little kiss and cuddle and then I went home, I actually floated home with my head in the clouds, it was lovely, I hope I didn't make a complete idiot of myself and I really want to see her again, So, as she reads this blog, I would like to ask you out again Kristy, preferably soon, and I'll be less nervous and more relaxed.
In other news, my niece, Abigail, has turned one, I can't believe a year has passed since her birth but it has, and so today I am going to a birthday party, I only hope we have cake!
Work is hard and I'm in Liverpool for a few more days then I have a job in Preston to start.
I hope you are all well. Take care
(A very smitten) Woggzeh.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to Woggzeh's World, Happy Birthday to me.
Yes, people, the 14th of January is Woggzeh's World's 2nd birthday. Some said it wouldn't last, some wished it hadn't, but alas it's still here and still going strong.
Of the 24 million readers this blog got when I first started, we lost a few million in the first month alone, gradually evening out at around 17 million readers , then due to no reason I can think of the figures plummeted to a mere 5 million, so I sacked the editor and came up with new ways of making the blog more 'fun' and 'hip' and 'in tune with today's society', once I had all those three worked out, I immediately ignored them and reverted back to my old ways and, well, the figures tell the story, we now get around 30 million regular readers, however over Christmas and New year (presumably because people had more time to read my blog) we tipped the scale at 1.5 Billion readers, So no pressure there then, I would like to thank everyone who reads this blog, I'll try to keep it up to date and I'm also considering selling out and putting up advertising to make me some pennies, I'll leave it to you, should I advertise on this blog? will you click the adverts when you visit, I would like to call it payment for the good service I provide to you, but after all, this blog is as much yours as it is mine, so tell me what you think.
So what have I been doing?
Well I'm slowly coming down from when Noel Gallagher saw me, and I've played Snooker today, first time since last year and it wasn't great, although we did manage to play three games in an hour, which is fast for us, because we are usually shit, I won 2-1.
Facebook has taken up a lot of my time because I was bored and so I went through everyone's profile and shut down all the boring applications you have on there such as, 'how stupid is my dog' and 'guess my pin number' applications that looked like fun when you were sent them and so you installed it and then annoyed all your friends by sending the application on to them, Well, I've shut it down on your page, so all I see is the necessary details, (books you've lied about reading, films you said you liked because they are supposed to be hip etc etc) and your wall, not the stupid super wall, the super dooper wall or the wailing wall, just your general run of the mill wall, so I can read what your friends really think about you before you delete it.
I managed to get a laptop that had been thrown in the bin to work a bit and so I took it round to Trelly's because he's clever with things like that and I knew he'd get it going, unfortunately, it's turned into a bit of a nightmare and now I'm scared of speaking to him in case he follows through with his suggestion of where I should put the 'bloody thing' (joking), however, where as you or me would have given up, he is a man possessed, so it will be working one day, I just dare not ask when. So all in all, thank you Trelly I really do appreciate your efforts.
I think that'll do for now, if anybody has 2 laptop size hard drives about 10mm, (Trel knows the specifics) then can you let me know, 'cos I'm after two of them to get two more laptops up and running, oh yeah, I might need a caddy too.
Anyway, moff now, got a job to start in Liverpool tomorrow so that'll be rubbish.
take care, enjoy my birthday celebrations.
Woggzeh
Of the 24 million readers this blog got when I first started, we lost a few million in the first month alone, gradually evening out at around 17 million readers , then due to no reason I can think of the figures plummeted to a mere 5 million, so I sacked the editor and came up with new ways of making the blog more 'fun' and 'hip' and 'in tune with today's society', once I had all those three worked out, I immediately ignored them and reverted back to my old ways and, well, the figures tell the story, we now get around 30 million regular readers, however over Christmas and New year (presumably because people had more time to read my blog) we tipped the scale at 1.5 Billion readers, So no pressure there then, I would like to thank everyone who reads this blog, I'll try to keep it up to date and I'm also considering selling out and putting up advertising to make me some pennies, I'll leave it to you, should I advertise on this blog? will you click the adverts when you visit, I would like to call it payment for the good service I provide to you, but after all, this blog is as much yours as it is mine, so tell me what you think.
So what have I been doing?
Well I'm slowly coming down from when Noel Gallagher saw me, and I've played Snooker today, first time since last year and it wasn't great, although we did manage to play three games in an hour, which is fast for us, because we are usually shit, I won 2-1.
Facebook has taken up a lot of my time because I was bored and so I went through everyone's profile and shut down all the boring applications you have on there such as, 'how stupid is my dog' and 'guess my pin number' applications that looked like fun when you were sent them and so you installed it and then annoyed all your friends by sending the application on to them, Well, I've shut it down on your page, so all I see is the necessary details, (books you've lied about reading, films you said you liked because they are supposed to be hip etc etc) and your wall, not the stupid super wall, the super dooper wall or the wailing wall, just your general run of the mill wall, so I can read what your friends really think about you before you delete it.
I managed to get a laptop that had been thrown in the bin to work a bit and so I took it round to Trelly's because he's clever with things like that and I knew he'd get it going, unfortunately, it's turned into a bit of a nightmare and now I'm scared of speaking to him in case he follows through with his suggestion of where I should put the 'bloody thing' (joking), however, where as you or me would have given up, he is a man possessed, so it will be working one day, I just dare not ask when. So all in all, thank you Trelly I really do appreciate your efforts.
I think that'll do for now, if anybody has 2 laptop size hard drives about 10mm, (Trel knows the specifics) then can you let me know, 'cos I'm after two of them to get two more laptops up and running, oh yeah, I might need a caddy too.
Anyway, moff now, got a job to start in Liverpool tomorrow so that'll be rubbish.
take care, enjoy my birthday celebrations.
Woggzeh
Thursday, January 03, 2008
January, sick and tired, you've been hanging on me, You make me sad with your eyes, You're telling me lies, Don't go, don't go.
Happy new year people.
So here we are in 2008, I feel like I've not blogged since last year! so here we go first blog of the year.
Christmas was fun, I actually got loads of stuff that I wanted to receive, including the books I mentioned to my mum months ago, I thought she would have forgotten all about them, but she came up with the goods. most of Christmas was spent laughing at my niece Abby, she managed to get more presents than I've ever received in my life! never mind, she loved playing with all her toys and wasn't the least bit interested in the paper and boxes, she actually wanted the toys, which was cool, except most of them were noisy and had repetitive tunes and that did my nut by the end of the day!
The rest of the week was a sombre affair, Chris Barker was back in town and I had a good drink with him, he's good and well.
New year was spent in Edinburgh and although the night afore party and princess street celebration weren't as good as the others I had been on, the whole two days was the best ever because I walked past Noel Gallagher in the street! hold on, I don't think you quite got my excitement there, I WALKED PAST NOEL 'FUCKING' GALLAGHER IN THE STREET, I could have touched him, I could have done anything and me being me decided to take this opportunity to meet my hero and so I stopped in my tracks inhaled like I was having a heart attack and wheezed the words, "that's Noel Gallagher" as he walked straight past me and on his way towards George Street, I was amazed, I grabbed my phone and texted everyone, I rang Jof and he was excited for me as well, there was a lot of excitement built up in that phone call, he was in the car with his brother going to a party, I have recently read in an interview with Noel Gallagher that he had an amazing new year, playing with Kasabian in Edinburgh but the icing on the cake for him, was when he walked past his favourite blogger Woggzeh on the street, he said he was so excited he couldn't bring himself to stop, so he just kept walking! his words not mine, all absolutely true*
in fairness, my excitement was very childish, but fuck it, how often do you walk past a Rock legend, a man who will be in the history books long after I'm dead!
The rest of Edinburgh was fun, I would just like to make a little note remembering the first night in the travel lodge where five of us sat up drinking in the bar, that was a brilliant conversation, and should never be repeated, but those who were there will know how funny it was.
so Dec 31st and we were all herded into princess street like cattle, we stupidly headed our way right to the middle of the 100.000 strong crown and then got stuck, it took Paul 40 minutes to go for a piss! midnight came and the fireworks were great apart from the smoke which meant you couldn't see them. then we went in search of a pub (same idea as 100.000 other people) somewhere along our jaunt it was decided to go back to the travel lodge bar as it was open till 4am, it was there that I partook in the (now) traditional 'phoning of the Jof' and had a chat with him, he rings me or I ring him, just depends who gets through first.
The journey home was as boring as ever, the A1 is a shit road it's mundane and I hate it, I've done it way too many times.
I've not bothered with a new years resolution because it's stupid, I can take up a resolution any time, I don't need to be bullied into going on a diet by fat greasy fucks just because it's January.
There's a bit of snow today, which is nice, Roll on February.
All the best for 2008
Woggzeh.
*may not be true
Thursday, December 20, 2007
You scumbag, you maggot, You cheap lousy faggot, Happy christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last.
Well Merry Christmas one and all, here is your card, click it!
I have now finished work and am not back until next year, horrah!
I've got Sciatica in my lower back which is giving me a bit of grief but I'll battle on.
Well it's time for the Woggzeh 2007 Christmas awards, they are like any award ceremony except you don't win anything and you don't have a say, although I can make up a phone line for you to phone and waste your money as that has been a big issue this year.
so without further ado, lets roll out the red carpet and get on with 'stuff I've liked this year and decided to have an awards show just to fill out my blog'.
Best Independent Blog 2007
For me it has to be Arrow Towers Which is loving updated by Jof when he is bothered, it is a shame he doesn't do it weekly but then that would become a chore and not have the fun of his general attitude to his blog, a particularly good update was his "day in the life" update which is set on Tuesday October the 30th, a good idea and I really enjoyed it, I prefer visual stuff to reading.
Apologies to Lee and Bullough, your blogs are still good and I would be lost without them, you two are fair runners up.
Best Blog of the year 2007
I hae to award this to Charlie Brookers 'Comment is Free' it is a very cynical look at stuff through the eyes of a man who appears to hate everything. I suggest you give it a read, it's updated every Monday and it's a joy to read, close second or me is Charlie Brookers Screenburn, which is his reviews on tv programmes it's like the newspaper version of his tv show Screenwipe.
I realise that is two blog awards and I gave Charlie Brooker the best blog of the year because he gets paid for doing it therefore, I couldn't enter it into the independent blog of the year catagory.
Pornstar of the year 2007
I'm giving this to Eva Angelina, She is great and wins the award because I discovered her before she had a boob job and fucked up her lovely breasts, still, I'm sure I'll be keeping an eye on her career in the future.
Best television Comedy programme of the year 2007
I'd like to give this award to Not Going Out because it has been consistently funny for two series now and I can't wait for the third series to start.
Best Television Drama of the year 2007
Got to go to Spooks, this series has been brilliant with plenty of fantastic twists and turns to keep everyone guessing annoyingly it has ended on a cliffhanger where everyone thinks that Adam has killed the girl (but I know that she has only fainted), hurry up 2008 and get back on our screens.
Best Hide and Seek player of the year 2007
I'm not going for the obvious joke......
Best television quiz show of the year 2007
Not really a surprise winner this year as I always rave about it, it's QI with Stephen Fry and Alan Davis as the regulars every week, it's cracking and deservers this award very much.
Well I'm bored of doing the awards now, so we shall take a break from all that rubbish as I have to go out now, I hope you noticed that all the links are clickable.
Merry Christmas again, take care, see you soon.
Woggzeh
I have now finished work and am not back until next year, horrah!
I've got Sciatica in my lower back which is giving me a bit of grief but I'll battle on.
Well it's time for the Woggzeh 2007 Christmas awards, they are like any award ceremony except you don't win anything and you don't have a say, although I can make up a phone line for you to phone and waste your money as that has been a big issue this year.
so without further ado, lets roll out the red carpet and get on with 'stuff I've liked this year and decided to have an awards show just to fill out my blog'.
Best Independent Blog 2007
For me it has to be Arrow Towers Which is loving updated by Jof when he is bothered, it is a shame he doesn't do it weekly but then that would become a chore and not have the fun of his general attitude to his blog, a particularly good update was his "day in the life" update which is set on Tuesday October the 30th, a good idea and I really enjoyed it, I prefer visual stuff to reading.
Apologies to Lee and Bullough, your blogs are still good and I would be lost without them, you two are fair runners up.
Best Blog of the year 2007
I hae to award this to Charlie Brookers 'Comment is Free' it is a very cynical look at stuff through the eyes of a man who appears to hate everything. I suggest you give it a read, it's updated every Monday and it's a joy to read, close second or me is Charlie Brookers Screenburn, which is his reviews on tv programmes it's like the newspaper version of his tv show Screenwipe.
I realise that is two blog awards and I gave Charlie Brooker the best blog of the year because he gets paid for doing it therefore, I couldn't enter it into the independent blog of the year catagory.
Pornstar of the year 2007
I'm giving this to Eva Angelina, She is great and wins the award because I discovered her before she had a boob job and fucked up her lovely breasts, still, I'm sure I'll be keeping an eye on her career in the future.
Best television Comedy programme of the year 2007
I'd like to give this award to Not Going Out because it has been consistently funny for two series now and I can't wait for the third series to start.
Best Television Drama of the year 2007
Got to go to Spooks, this series has been brilliant with plenty of fantastic twists and turns to keep everyone guessing annoyingly it has ended on a cliffhanger where everyone thinks that Adam has killed the girl (but I know that she has only fainted), hurry up 2008 and get back on our screens.
Best Hide and Seek player of the year 2007
I'm not going for the obvious joke......
Best television quiz show of the year 2007
Not really a surprise winner this year as I always rave about it, it's QI with Stephen Fry and Alan Davis as the regulars every week, it's cracking and deservers this award very much.
Well I'm bored of doing the awards now, so we shall take a break from all that rubbish as I have to go out now, I hope you noticed that all the links are clickable.
Merry Christmas again, take care, see you soon.
Woggzeh
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me.....
I first heard this performed by an Irish comic a few years back, hope it gives you a little chuckle.
The twelve days of Christmas
Day 1
Thank you so much for the present. A partridge in a pear tree, how imaginative you are, it really is just what I wanted. I shall think of you every time I look at it.
Day 2
Another present! A pair of turtle doves, they're absolutely lovely. And now of course I've got two partridges and two pear trees, so they can have a tree each to sit in. How very thoughtful of you.
Day 3
Well, what a surprise, more presents. I've always wanted to keep hens, and to get French ones, well what can I say. Thank you darling, I shall let them run free in the garden, they'll keep all the other birds company. I should say though that, what with the four turtle doves and the three partridges, I've got about as many birds as I can look after. But they're still lovely presents and I'm very grateful to you.
Day 4
More birds! I thought I made it clear yesterday, I'm getting a bit short on space. I mean, I'm ever so grateful and I love the calling birds, but I now have half a dozen French hens, eight turtle doves and four partridges all living in a small suburban garden and it's getting a bit crowded. So thank you darling, but no more birds please.
Day 5
It was such a pleasant surprise when the postman handed me a small parcel this morning, not just one gold ring but five! They must have cost you a fortune. But while I was trying them on, the postman came back and dumped another ten birds and a tree outside the house. Honestly, you can't imagine what it's like - there are now thirty birds in the garden, the neighbours are starting to complain about the noise and quite frankly it's beginning to smell a bit too. So I'd be very grateful if you could stop this now, that's really all the birds I can take. Stick to jewellery in future.
Day 6
Maybe you didn't understand me before, so I'll make myself perfectly clear. If I wanted to run a bird sanctuary I'd have opened one myself. It's bad enough with all the other birds flapping around and making noise day and night, now I've got six pregnant geese to contend with. If this is your idea of a joke I can assure you it's not funny. PLEASE STOP SENDING ME BIRDS! Thanks for the rings though.
Day 7
Look Buster, when I say no more birds I mean no more birds. I thought I'd made it perfectly clear to you, but what do you do? Bloody swans now, and seven of them. I've got to dig a pond now so they've got somewhere to swim. Do you realise how many birds I own now? Sixty bloody nine! If you ever want me to talk to you again, you'd better think again about sending me birds.
Day 8
Are you mad? When have I ever said I needed a team of milkmaids about the place? Where am I going to put them all? And of course they've all brought their cows with them, so bang goes my back garden. What were you thinking of? And another twenty three birds, like I need more. I'm beginning to wonder if you ought to go and see someone about this. At this rate I ought to have a sizeable dairy industry going before long. I think you'd better stop with the presents now, it's gone far enough.
Day 9
Ok, ok, a joke's a joke but this has to stop. Like things weren't already bad enough around here, I've now got a squad of drummers wandering around drumming, they're scaring the birds (115 at the last count) and the neighbours are beginning to sell up. If this goes on much longer I'm going to need another house just to put all these people up. I want you to stop sending me things and get yourself round here so you can start getting rid of some of them.
Day 10
Look you bastard, what did I ever do to you? This place was like a madhouse before but I've now got ten sodding pipers hanging about, keeping everyone awake. You can't move for cows, there's birdshit everywhere, you can't hear yourself think and I've got more milk than I know what to do with. This is all your fault and if you don't do something about it right now there's going to be hell to pay.
Day 11
Dear God, what are you on? Two weeks ago this was a nice quiet neighbourhood, now thanks to you I've got 32 cows, 161 birds and with the arrival of the ladies dancing there are 90 people sharing my house with me. Not to mention 35 rings and enough pear trees to plant a small forest. I used to think you were quite a nice bloke, but it's become obvious that you're seriously disturbed. Where on earth did you get the idea that this was normal behaviour? If I ever see or hear from you again I'll probably kill you. You have twenty four hours to remove this lot or suffer the consequences.
Day 12
Dear Sir
On behalf of my client, I hereby request that you take steps to remove all the personnel and livestock which you have caused to be delivered to the home of my client. An injunction has been taken out preventing you from sending any further items to that address and demanding that you desist from harassing my client in any way. You will also be aware that there is a large quantity of farmyard manure and dairy products which it is also your responsibility to remove. My client retains the right to keep and sell the items of jewellery as compensation for damage caused and for the trauma suffered as a consequence of your actions. You may also be receiving a claim for damages from the local postman for back injuries sustained as a result of your thoughtless transmission of inappropriate goods through the postal system. Please send all further correspondence to the above address.
The twelve days of Christmas
Day 1
Thank you so much for the present. A partridge in a pear tree, how imaginative you are, it really is just what I wanted. I shall think of you every time I look at it.
Day 2
Another present! A pair of turtle doves, they're absolutely lovely. And now of course I've got two partridges and two pear trees, so they can have a tree each to sit in. How very thoughtful of you.
Day 3
Well, what a surprise, more presents. I've always wanted to keep hens, and to get French ones, well what can I say. Thank you darling, I shall let them run free in the garden, they'll keep all the other birds company. I should say though that, what with the four turtle doves and the three partridges, I've got about as many birds as I can look after. But they're still lovely presents and I'm very grateful to you.
Day 4
More birds! I thought I made it clear yesterday, I'm getting a bit short on space. I mean, I'm ever so grateful and I love the calling birds, but I now have half a dozen French hens, eight turtle doves and four partridges all living in a small suburban garden and it's getting a bit crowded. So thank you darling, but no more birds please.
Day 5
It was such a pleasant surprise when the postman handed me a small parcel this morning, not just one gold ring but five! They must have cost you a fortune. But while I was trying them on, the postman came back and dumped another ten birds and a tree outside the house. Honestly, you can't imagine what it's like - there are now thirty birds in the garden, the neighbours are starting to complain about the noise and quite frankly it's beginning to smell a bit too. So I'd be very grateful if you could stop this now, that's really all the birds I can take. Stick to jewellery in future.
Day 6
Maybe you didn't understand me before, so I'll make myself perfectly clear. If I wanted to run a bird sanctuary I'd have opened one myself. It's bad enough with all the other birds flapping around and making noise day and night, now I've got six pregnant geese to contend with. If this is your idea of a joke I can assure you it's not funny. PLEASE STOP SENDING ME BIRDS! Thanks for the rings though.
Day 7
Look Buster, when I say no more birds I mean no more birds. I thought I'd made it perfectly clear to you, but what do you do? Bloody swans now, and seven of them. I've got to dig a pond now so they've got somewhere to swim. Do you realise how many birds I own now? Sixty bloody nine! If you ever want me to talk to you again, you'd better think again about sending me birds.
Day 8
Are you mad? When have I ever said I needed a team of milkmaids about the place? Where am I going to put them all? And of course they've all brought their cows with them, so bang goes my back garden. What were you thinking of? And another twenty three birds, like I need more. I'm beginning to wonder if you ought to go and see someone about this. At this rate I ought to have a sizeable dairy industry going before long. I think you'd better stop with the presents now, it's gone far enough.
Day 9
Ok, ok, a joke's a joke but this has to stop. Like things weren't already bad enough around here, I've now got a squad of drummers wandering around drumming, they're scaring the birds (115 at the last count) and the neighbours are beginning to sell up. If this goes on much longer I'm going to need another house just to put all these people up. I want you to stop sending me things and get yourself round here so you can start getting rid of some of them.
Day 10
Look you bastard, what did I ever do to you? This place was like a madhouse before but I've now got ten sodding pipers hanging about, keeping everyone awake. You can't move for cows, there's birdshit everywhere, you can't hear yourself think and I've got more milk than I know what to do with. This is all your fault and if you don't do something about it right now there's going to be hell to pay.
Day 11
Dear God, what are you on? Two weeks ago this was a nice quiet neighbourhood, now thanks to you I've got 32 cows, 161 birds and with the arrival of the ladies dancing there are 90 people sharing my house with me. Not to mention 35 rings and enough pear trees to plant a small forest. I used to think you were quite a nice bloke, but it's become obvious that you're seriously disturbed. Where on earth did you get the idea that this was normal behaviour? If I ever see or hear from you again I'll probably kill you. You have twenty four hours to remove this lot or suffer the consequences.
Day 12
Dear Sir
On behalf of my client, I hereby request that you take steps to remove all the personnel and livestock which you have caused to be delivered to the home of my client. An injunction has been taken out preventing you from sending any further items to that address and demanding that you desist from harassing my client in any way. You will also be aware that there is a large quantity of farmyard manure and dairy products which it is also your responsibility to remove. My client retains the right to keep and sell the items of jewellery as compensation for damage caused and for the trauma suffered as a consequence of your actions. You may also be receiving a claim for damages from the local postman for back injuries sustained as a result of your thoughtless transmission of inappropriate goods through the postal system. Please send all further correspondence to the above address.
Monday, December 10, 2007
It's that time, Christmas time is here, Everybody knows there's not a better time of year, Hear that sleigh, Santa's on his way..
..Hip Hip hooray for Christmas Vacation. (best Christmas film ever, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation)
now then people, been really shitty weather hasn't it!, I walked home last night and I was absolutely drenched, I was like a drowned rat, my beard was piss wet through too, I'm getting sick of my beard now but I can't be arsed to shave it off, I keep swallowing bits of hair, I swear to you I had a furball the other day.
Jeremy Clarkson, much that I love the guy, he is a funny bloke and I would definitely have him in my top five celebrities I would invite to my dinner table, but there is something about the man that makes me want to punch him in the gob, I'd punch him, then I'd be so apologetic, I'd look pathetic but I'd feel a little bit better inside for doing it, it's strange, does anybody else feel like that about anyone?
Poor old Ricky Hatton, lost his boxing match, he put on a good show but he walked onto too many of Mayweather's jabs and eventually something had to give, unfortunately it was Hatton's head and he hit the deck in the tenth round, still, Well done Ricky on coming third in the sports personality of the year award, I'm glad that cheating drug infested piece of shit cheater, yes the fucking DRUGS CHEAT, that goes by the name of Catherine Kajagoogoo (or something) didn't win fuck all, I think it's a disgrace that she should be allowed to represent Great Britain at all in any sports, I could go into a massive rant now but itr would end up as " racist slur" so I wont bother.
Having a bit of a shit time of things at the moment, but I needn't bore you lot with the details.
Well I didn't have much to say but I decided to blog anyway, I do have a message for Brian Barwick of the F.A, "Hands off Martin O'Neill you fat cunt, you had your chance 18 months ago"
take care people, I will update before Christmas never you fear.
Woggzeh
now then people, been really shitty weather hasn't it!, I walked home last night and I was absolutely drenched, I was like a drowned rat, my beard was piss wet through too, I'm getting sick of my beard now but I can't be arsed to shave it off, I keep swallowing bits of hair, I swear to you I had a furball the other day.
Jeremy Clarkson, much that I love the guy, he is a funny bloke and I would definitely have him in my top five celebrities I would invite to my dinner table, but there is something about the man that makes me want to punch him in the gob, I'd punch him, then I'd be so apologetic, I'd look pathetic but I'd feel a little bit better inside for doing it, it's strange, does anybody else feel like that about anyone?
Poor old Ricky Hatton, lost his boxing match, he put on a good show but he walked onto too many of Mayweather's jabs and eventually something had to give, unfortunately it was Hatton's head and he hit the deck in the tenth round, still, Well done Ricky on coming third in the sports personality of the year award, I'm glad that cheating drug infested piece of shit cheater, yes the fucking DRUGS CHEAT, that goes by the name of Catherine Kajagoogoo (or something) didn't win fuck all, I think it's a disgrace that she should be allowed to represent Great Britain at all in any sports, I could go into a massive rant now but itr would end up as " racist slur" so I wont bother.
Having a bit of a shit time of things at the moment, but I needn't bore you lot with the details.
Well I didn't have much to say but I decided to blog anyway, I do have a message for Brian Barwick of the F.A, "Hands off Martin O'Neill you fat cunt, you had your chance 18 months ago"
take care people, I will update before Christmas never you fear.
Woggzeh
Friday, December 07, 2007
I was on the high wire looking down, for my safety net, When I swear I saw you with that clown, how can I forget?
Now then,
well I don't know why i'm treating you to this update, bored I guess, just made a casserole and wanged it in the oven, should be good.
I think I've broken my finger, well, not broken it but hurt it a little, don't quite know how, but it hurts.
So how are you all? I see Pieman is still leaving the message about his memory loss in the comment box, quite funny really.
I'm sure I had something quite good to tell you but typically it's slipped my mind.
Has anyone ever done that thing where you start humming or whistling or singing a bit of song and you can't, for the life of you, work out what the song is, even though you know that you've heard it somewhere and it's a fucking amazing song, so you commit it to memory and attempt to work it out later but then completely forget the tune and can't get it back? well I reckon that sometimes that amazing song, is actually the 'yesterday' complex, (Macca woke up one night and hummed the song 'yesterday' and wrote it down convinced that it had already been written) yeah, so, erm, I've got no founding of my thoughts I just thought I'd share it with you and I kind of like the idea that Jof might have never of thought of that before and is now trying to recall all those songs that he has forgotten just in case there is a little gem in there and prove my theory right.
Christmas is just around the corner now, I hope everyone is ready, I'm still pissed off with Play.com, I ordered some dvds (posted on the 20th November) and they still haven't arrived and I have to wait until the 11the December before I can report them missing to Play, which sucks, as I've paid for the fucking things so I want them here, this is the biggest flaw of internet shopping, you don't get this shit when you use the cash for items/instant transaction policy that has existed for thousands of years!
I'll post before Christmas I think, I'll try and get a nice little Christmas card for you, and how about a Christmas quiz? I'll set some questions for you to answer, would you like that?
I bet nobody knows the song that today's title is lifted from without using Google.
ah well, I think that'll do for now, if I need to say owt else then I'll msn you.
Woggzeh
well I don't know why i'm treating you to this update, bored I guess, just made a casserole and wanged it in the oven, should be good.
I think I've broken my finger, well, not broken it but hurt it a little, don't quite know how, but it hurts.
So how are you all? I see Pieman is still leaving the message about his memory loss in the comment box, quite funny really.
I'm sure I had something quite good to tell you but typically it's slipped my mind.
Has anyone ever done that thing where you start humming or whistling or singing a bit of song and you can't, for the life of you, work out what the song is, even though you know that you've heard it somewhere and it's a fucking amazing song, so you commit it to memory and attempt to work it out later but then completely forget the tune and can't get it back? well I reckon that sometimes that amazing song, is actually the 'yesterday' complex, (Macca woke up one night and hummed the song 'yesterday' and wrote it down convinced that it had already been written) yeah, so, erm, I've got no founding of my thoughts I just thought I'd share it with you and I kind of like the idea that Jof might have never of thought of that before and is now trying to recall all those songs that he has forgotten just in case there is a little gem in there and prove my theory right.
Christmas is just around the corner now, I hope everyone is ready, I'm still pissed off with Play.com, I ordered some dvds (posted on the 20th November) and they still haven't arrived and I have to wait until the 11the December before I can report them missing to Play, which sucks, as I've paid for the fucking things so I want them here, this is the biggest flaw of internet shopping, you don't get this shit when you use the cash for items/instant transaction policy that has existed for thousands of years!
I'll post before Christmas I think, I'll try and get a nice little Christmas card for you, and how about a Christmas quiz? I'll set some questions for you to answer, would you like that?
I bet nobody knows the song that today's title is lifted from without using Google.
ah well, I think that'll do for now, if I need to say owt else then I'll msn you.
Woggzeh
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
I spy in the night sky don't I, phoebe io e lara leda callisto sinope janus dione portia so many moons.
So I'm fucked.
not in that way but in THAT way, just fucked off with everything at the moment, fucked off with this blog and I'm thinking this could be the last ever post, time to kill off Woggzeh's World, I'm just fucked off, and yesterday I was sent the Tim Tang Test by Kristy Drummond (no longer a friend) and it's done me fucking nut! I'm stuck on level 21 and I've managed to pull myself away, back into the real world and I'm giving up, I say it here and now, I'M FUCKING QUITTING THAT PIECE OF SHIT! there are over 200 levels and I'm less that 10 % through it, and that's not including level25.1 then 25.2 or something shite like that, so fuck it. it's over, if anyone wants the answers to the first 20 levels then I'll let you have them, seriously fucking have them, I'm going to wait untill a booklet is produced with all the answers in it and then cheat my way to the end, I won't feel guilty because I hate it that much, I'll feel a sense of pride for finishing it.
Don't bother saying, 'but it's a bit of fun, you're only cheating yourself' because I don't care what you think, so keep your fucking pie hole shut, end of the matter, END!
Moff to cry
Woggzeh
not in that way but in THAT way, just fucked off with everything at the moment, fucked off with this blog and I'm thinking this could be the last ever post, time to kill off Woggzeh's World, I'm just fucked off, and yesterday I was sent the Tim Tang Test by Kristy Drummond (no longer a friend) and it's done me fucking nut! I'm stuck on level 21 and I've managed to pull myself away, back into the real world and I'm giving up, I say it here and now, I'M FUCKING QUITTING THAT PIECE OF SHIT! there are over 200 levels and I'm less that 10 % through it, and that's not including level25.1 then 25.2 or something shite like that, so fuck it. it's over, if anyone wants the answers to the first 20 levels then I'll let you have them, seriously fucking have them, I'm going to wait untill a booklet is produced with all the answers in it and then cheat my way to the end, I won't feel guilty because I hate it that much, I'll feel a sense of pride for finishing it.
Don't bother saying, 'but it's a bit of fun, you're only cheating yourself' because I don't care what you think, so keep your fucking pie hole shut, end of the matter, END!
Moff to cry
Woggzeh
Thursday, November 22, 2007
There's no mistake, I smell that smell, It's that time of year again, I can taste the air
So whilst we are on the subject of Australia (confused yet?) one thing that really annoys me, I saw it earlier and it's just been gnawing at me whilst I've been peeling the spuds, it's that question, "what is the capital of Australia" and every cunt in the whole fucking world, puts on their 'I'm a clever fuckwit' face and says, "Canberra" and then laughs looks all smug and follows up the answer with the line, "I bet you thought I was going to say Sydney, everyone thinks it's Sydney, nobody realises that it's actually Canberra!" then they think that they are the greatest brain in the history of quizzes, I fucking hate them people, ( I bet a few of you are thinking, that's what I usually say, well if it is you then you're a dumb fuck!) my real point now is, have you EVER met any cunt who actually said "Sydney"? I bet it's a big fat fucking "NO" unless you have asked a child but that doesn't count, all children are thick. The truth is everyone fucking knows that the capital is Canberra, so if you are asked the question in the future, then please, don't act like a cunt, don't go all smug, just say, "Canberra, everyone knows it's Canberra" and when the person who asked you the question in the first place says, "No, actually, most people think it's Sydney" then do me a favour and punch them in the face.
Thank you and goodnight
Thank you and goodnight
Monday, November 12, 2007
When you were young and your heart was an open book, You used to say live and let live, (you know you did, you know you did you know you did)
Hello.
So what's up people, not a lot as usual, November the 5th saw fireworks night so I went up to the stray with Trelly to watch the show, it was quite a good show actually, they had lots of fireworks (obviously) and this year as a nice twist they played music to accompany the whistles and bangs, which worked quite well, it was just a pity that it wasn't choreographed to perfection so when the music hit a pinnacle then a firework would go boom, the charity collectors were there as always with their buckets, ( I usually take a handful of washers and throw them in, it's dark they cant see that it's not money it makes the right noise though and they even say thank you to me) the radio guy was saying that they needed to raise £10.000 for some charity where you send your kids to die, (not in the way that you send them there when you're sick of them) which was an ambitious figure especially when you stand in the cold for 15 minutes cheering as £200.000 of fireworks go up in fucking smoke! Call me a fool but wouldn't it be easier to buy £190.000 of fire works, donate the rest of the money to the charity and tell them to fuck off with their stupid buckets? Still it was a good night and the fire was, well, like a bonfire.
After the show, we went back to Trellys in anticipation of Joe Calzaghe fighting, which incidentally didn't start until bloody 01:20 by which time I had drunk loads of lager and quite a bit of JD and coke, and I could hardly stand up, still the fight was good, I think.
usual stuff happened since then, I was also amazed to see Pieman reads this blog and leaves comments, thank you squire, still not going to your quiz but thank you all the same, oh and PLEASE for the love of god, stop sending me text messages saying, Alexandra quiz Monday nights free chilli and cash prizes, not only is it fucking annoying, but I always have a little cry too, you see, I don't have many friends and I rarely get text messages, so when my phone starts beeping then I get all excited, only to find it's a bloody advert! (now I've said that I'll probably get two messages from him, bastard).
Yesterday I was lying on the sofa stroking my cat when I noticed that it's white fur was all red, I asked my mum, 'why is this cat all red?' and she started laughing and told me that she spilled red wine all over it when it jumped on her lap the previous night, I couldn't believe it, 'didn't you think to pour white wine on it?' was my reply to which everyone laughed and the cat jabbed me in the stomach with it's claw.
Must dash, those pot noodles don't rehydrate themselves you know.
Woggzeh
So what's up people, not a lot as usual, November the 5th saw fireworks night so I went up to the stray with Trelly to watch the show, it was quite a good show actually, they had lots of fireworks (obviously) and this year as a nice twist they played music to accompany the whistles and bangs, which worked quite well, it was just a pity that it wasn't choreographed to perfection so when the music hit a pinnacle then a firework would go boom, the charity collectors were there as always with their buckets, ( I usually take a handful of washers and throw them in, it's dark they cant see that it's not money it makes the right noise though and they even say thank you to me) the radio guy was saying that they needed to raise £10.000 for some charity where you send your kids to die, (not in the way that you send them there when you're sick of them) which was an ambitious figure especially when you stand in the cold for 15 minutes cheering as £200.000 of fireworks go up in fucking smoke! Call me a fool but wouldn't it be easier to buy £190.000 of fire works, donate the rest of the money to the charity and tell them to fuck off with their stupid buckets? Still it was a good night and the fire was, well, like a bonfire.
After the show, we went back to Trellys in anticipation of Joe Calzaghe fighting, which incidentally didn't start until bloody 01:20 by which time I had drunk loads of lager and quite a bit of JD and coke, and I could hardly stand up, still the fight was good, I think.
usual stuff happened since then, I was also amazed to see Pieman reads this blog and leaves comments, thank you squire, still not going to your quiz but thank you all the same, oh and PLEASE for the love of god, stop sending me text messages saying, Alexandra quiz Monday nights free chilli and cash prizes, not only is it fucking annoying, but I always have a little cry too, you see, I don't have many friends and I rarely get text messages, so when my phone starts beeping then I get all excited, only to find it's a bloody advert! (now I've said that I'll probably get two messages from him, bastard).
Yesterday I was lying on the sofa stroking my cat when I noticed that it's white fur was all red, I asked my mum, 'why is this cat all red?' and she started laughing and told me that she spilled red wine all over it when it jumped on her lap the previous night, I couldn't believe it, 'didn't you think to pour white wine on it?' was my reply to which everyone laughed and the cat jabbed me in the stomach with it's claw.
Must dash, those pot noodles don't rehydrate themselves you know.
Woggzeh
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wake up maggie I think I got something to say to you, Its late september and I really should be back at school
Four in four days!!!
another quickie, I've finished chapter 5 today and now I'm bored, I had this great plan that book one would be my characters pre teens then book two would be teenage years, book three in his twenties and so on and so forth, I'm still going to do this idea one day, just not right now, if there is enough demand (at least two people asking) for another chapter or two, then I might consider it, but I really want to start a new adventure away from psychopaths and other such monsters, and besides whilst writing my little story, it all seemed a bit too autobiographical.
I have a plan set up to write a prison book, something between prison break and Shawshank, I'll call it the prison redemption! nah, kidding, it's set on Alcatraz, (surprise surprise, no one thinks of writing books about the rock!), I've got a few characters in place and I've also considered using real prisoners and their identification numbers too, but like I say, I'm still working on it.
anyway, that's what's going on, let me know if you want the book emailed or more chapters. Let me know if you read this blog, let me know I'm not alone..........please.
Woggzeh
another quickie, I've finished chapter 5 today and now I'm bored, I had this great plan that book one would be my characters pre teens then book two would be teenage years, book three in his twenties and so on and so forth, I'm still going to do this idea one day, just not right now, if there is enough demand (at least two people asking) for another chapter or two, then I might consider it, but I really want to start a new adventure away from psychopaths and other such monsters, and besides whilst writing my little story, it all seemed a bit too autobiographical.
I have a plan set up to write a prison book, something between prison break and Shawshank, I'll call it the prison redemption! nah, kidding, it's set on Alcatraz, (surprise surprise, no one thinks of writing books about the rock!), I've got a few characters in place and I've also considered using real prisoners and their identification numbers too, but like I say, I'm still working on it.
anyway, that's what's going on, let me know if you want the book emailed or more chapters. Let me know if you read this blog, let me know I'm not alone..........please.
Woggzeh
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
At the end of a rainbow, you'll find a pot of gold, At the end of a story, you'll find it's all been told.
Hey peeps,
I don't think I've ever done three updates in as many days, this isn't going to be a long onme though as you can see by the amount to text in front of you, anyway, what I was going to say, is I don't think I'm going to upload my new book (it'll be a book by the time I'm finished) to woggzeh's short stories, I'm going to upload chapter one and if you want the rest then you'll have to give me a nod and I'll email it to you in word.doc (make sure you can open it) this saves on fraud and all that, I'm quite proud of what I've done so far even if it is only 4 chapters, if anyone wants to continue reading I'll send it out after 5 chapters then in single chapter updates, which will be sporadic. I'll still be asking for your comments and the like.
As for the 'prologue' that I uploaded yesterday, well the times they are a'changin' I've decided to document the life of my killer from childhood, this way I can run with the story for longer and make it longer, but not losing any of the fun, so my apologies but the prologue was a bit misleading, however I'm still planning on exploring that route.
Jof is starting his novel tomorrow and I wish him all the best for that.
toode ooh.
clicky clicky the linky quicky and be the first to comment
Chapter one
Woggzeh
I don't think I've ever done three updates in as many days, this isn't going to be a long onme though as you can see by the amount to text in front of you, anyway, what I was going to say, is I don't think I'm going to upload my new book (it'll be a book by the time I'm finished) to woggzeh's short stories, I'm going to upload chapter one and if you want the rest then you'll have to give me a nod and I'll email it to you in word.doc (make sure you can open it) this saves on fraud and all that, I'm quite proud of what I've done so far even if it is only 4 chapters, if anyone wants to continue reading I'll send it out after 5 chapters then in single chapter updates, which will be sporadic. I'll still be asking for your comments and the like.
As for the 'prologue' that I uploaded yesterday, well the times they are a'changin' I've decided to document the life of my killer from childhood, this way I can run with the story for longer and make it longer, but not losing any of the fun, so my apologies but the prologue was a bit misleading, however I'm still planning on exploring that route.
Jof is starting his novel tomorrow and I wish him all the best for that.
toode ooh.
clicky clicky the linky quicky and be the first to comment
Chapter one
Woggzeh
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
now then people, I've been working on a new short story, I've uploaded the prologue to my short stories site and I'm currently working hard on the rest of the story, the one problem I've got is that it's not going to be a normal short story in fact it's going to be a long one, providing I have my ideas right and can be arsed to complete it, I have chapter one written and chapters two and three in my head, possibly some of chapter four too, then I have lots of idea where I can develop the story further down the line, I hope this goes well.
A Mask Of Sanity
Click the link or click the link down the side, anyway, leave a comment.
Woggzeh
A Mask Of Sanity
Click the link or click the link down the side, anyway, leave a comment.
Woggzeh
Monday, October 29, 2007
I'm in heaven, I have been told (who told ya), I'm in heaven, I'm too young to feel this old.
You know what, I really should start writing a bit of blog everyday of even keep a little diary (haha, I just wrote dairy), because my memory is getting worse and worse, I'm alright at remembering jokes but everything else, like what I've done or who I am just seems to slip out of my mind, crazy shit, Does anybody else have that same problem?, I'm forever rushing upstairs then completely forgetting what I've gone upstairs for, (Obvious joke now is, so I come back down stairs and I've wet myself).
So anyway, lets try and remember what the hell I've been doing, well I do know that Lee phoned me last week, I was at Trellys and he'd just given me a chilli because he had grown loads and I wanted one and as one does, I tried to balance it on my upper lip, kind of like a chilli moustache when my phone starts ringing and it's Lee, "G'day Lee, how's it going?" ,"alright mate, what you doing?", "I'm erm.. balancing a chilli on my upper lip" then Lee just answers "Cool" without stopping to think or even act shocked, which was weird, am I becoming too predictable?
anyway, he's fine, Lindsay's fine, Australia's fine so that's all fine then.
I've been working on and off, steady away, but due to the massive lack of work in September I am completely skint for November, so it's gonna be a dry month for me, limited drinking I am afraid, expect the next post to include heavy bouts of insomnia.
I really am so uninspired to write this blog although I've got nothing better to do at this moment in time, I could sit and think or read a book, but I've done a hell of a lot of reading recently that I want to give my eyes a break, it seems to be something I do, when ever I see words or sentences or blocks of text then I simply have to read it, stupid words!
now my typing has gone to pot and I seem to be spelling out words using the letter next to them on the keyboard, for example - jr;;p seems to spell Hello, maybe I've inadvertently stumbled upon some code like the enigma code, then again it's more likely that I'm just poor at using my keyboard and so I type bollocks.
Bonfire night soon, woohoo a chance for every fucking shit eating piece of scum otherwise known as a chav to get hold of some fireworks and set them off before bonfire night generally scaring the shit out of me as a whopping great bang goes off over my head as I'm walking somewhere in my own little world. Cunts!
here's a question for you, Trelly knows the answer so he's not allowed to enter but the question for you is: Why is it that most famous artists are Dutch? it's a pretty simple question and if you think about it logically then you'll get the answer.
I can't be bothered to write any more so this'll have to do ya, maybe I'll update in a few days when I am more inspired to do so, sorry for the shit update.
Woggzeh
So anyway, lets try and remember what the hell I've been doing, well I do know that Lee phoned me last week, I was at Trellys and he'd just given me a chilli because he had grown loads and I wanted one and as one does, I tried to balance it on my upper lip, kind of like a chilli moustache when my phone starts ringing and it's Lee, "G'day Lee, how's it going?" ,"alright mate, what you doing?", "I'm erm.. balancing a chilli on my upper lip" then Lee just answers "Cool" without stopping to think or even act shocked, which was weird, am I becoming too predictable?
anyway, he's fine, Lindsay's fine, Australia's fine so that's all fine then.
I've been working on and off, steady away, but due to the massive lack of work in September I am completely skint for November, so it's gonna be a dry month for me, limited drinking I am afraid, expect the next post to include heavy bouts of insomnia.
I really am so uninspired to write this blog although I've got nothing better to do at this moment in time, I could sit and think or read a book, but I've done a hell of a lot of reading recently that I want to give my eyes a break, it seems to be something I do, when ever I see words or sentences or blocks of text then I simply have to read it, stupid words!
now my typing has gone to pot and I seem to be spelling out words using the letter next to them on the keyboard, for example - jr;;p seems to spell Hello, maybe I've inadvertently stumbled upon some code like the enigma code, then again it's more likely that I'm just poor at using my keyboard and so I type bollocks.
Bonfire night soon, woohoo a chance for every fucking shit eating piece of scum otherwise known as a chav to get hold of some fireworks and set them off before bonfire night generally scaring the shit out of me as a whopping great bang goes off over my head as I'm walking somewhere in my own little world. Cunts!
here's a question for you, Trelly knows the answer so he's not allowed to enter but the question for you is: Why is it that most famous artists are Dutch? it's a pretty simple question and if you think about it logically then you'll get the answer.
I can't be bothered to write any more so this'll have to do ya, maybe I'll update in a few days when I am more inspired to do so, sorry for the shit update.
Woggzeh
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
On top of spaghetti, all covered in cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed, it rolled off the table and on to the floor....
Hi all,
Just a quick notice for you all really, I'm sure you're aware that Children In Need is upon us again and you're gonna get your typical prat sitting in a bath of beans or wearing his clothes back to front all day, some stupid thing that idiots like us will give them money for in aid of charity. Well I've seen a different way of giving to Children In Need and you don't need to put your hand in your pocket, it's called Fonebak and you send them your old mobile phone (in a freepost envelope) and they will donate £5 to Children In Need! I think it's a great idea, here is the link: Fonebak
Go on, have a root round, tell your friends and family and neighbours, tell your dog and cat.
At least you'll feel less guilty when they show some video footage of some poor kid who only needs £3 a month to not die.
Woggzeh
Just a quick notice for you all really, I'm sure you're aware that Children In Need is upon us again and you're gonna get your typical prat sitting in a bath of beans or wearing his clothes back to front all day, some stupid thing that idiots like us will give them money for in aid of charity. Well I've seen a different way of giving to Children In Need and you don't need to put your hand in your pocket, it's called Fonebak and you send them your old mobile phone (in a freepost envelope) and they will donate £5 to Children In Need! I think it's a great idea, here is the link: Fonebak
Go on, have a root round, tell your friends and family and neighbours, tell your dog and cat.
At least you'll feel less guilty when they show some video footage of some poor kid who only needs £3 a month to not die.
Woggzeh
Monday, October 15, 2007
He picks up useless paper and puts it in my pocket, I'm trying very hard to keep my fingers clean, I can't remember tell me what's his name.
(My name is Michael Caine)
Now then Blog fans.
So what have I been upto since the last update, I don't know, nothing special!
I've had work on, I've had time off too, played some snooker and watched some snooker.
Top Gear's back on Sunday nights and watching that is probably about the best way to end your weekend, last nights episode was the aqua car and they had to Drive then sail/float/sink across the channel an arrive in France, It was funny as fuck, I'm a little sceptical as to whether or not they really achieved their aim unaided, but I'd like to think that they did.
There was a big protest this weekend at Menwith Hill all these hippy and shit protesting about 'Star Wars' I can see their point, the first three were cracking then the next three were abit of a let down although the second three were actually the first three and the first three were the second three, I suppose it could be worth a protest, especially if the next three are the last three and then we get the three before the last three, I mean, you wouldn't read a book that way would you! so I say protest away hippies.
So I've started a new job in St Helens on a big new £125 million hospital and it's been a fucking nightmare, only been there a few hours! firstly the vetting process started out about a month ago when I had to fill out a load of forms and return them, then we got a huge document of site regulations and all this bullshit lah de dah, then we were told that rigger boots are no longer allowed on site, no one can give a reason as to why they are banned, just that you need proper steel toe capped shoes, with laces. Stupid! So my dad had to buy some new boots, mine were fine, then we get on site, do two inductions at an hour each, then fill out more forms then we have to go get new P.P.E (Personal Protection Equipment) so we both needed a new hard hat, new high viz vest, new goggles, and new gloves, we already had these items but they were deemed unsuitable for site! un - fucking - believable!
So to get all that gear we need to fill in more forms, then we have to go through security to get our passes and fill out more forms, then I'm pretty sure we are gonna have to fill out a form saying that we have filled out all the necessary forms.
We didn't inform the site that our deliver lorry was coming that day so when he arrived from south Wales, he was told to go home, so we've had to book him in again for tomorrow, so today was a fucking waste of time apart from the fact we have got our inductions done, I'm so pissed off with writing shit out today that I wasn't even gonna update but I promised Jof I'd do one over the weekend, So here it is a day late, but let's see how often you update your blog when you are writing your novel!! (not that I'm writing a novel I just wanted to say something catty)
Anyway, tea time, then playing Snooker. then site tomorrow.
Laters
Wogg
Now then Blog fans.
So what have I been upto since the last update, I don't know, nothing special!
I've had work on, I've had time off too, played some snooker and watched some snooker.
Top Gear's back on Sunday nights and watching that is probably about the best way to end your weekend, last nights episode was the aqua car and they had to Drive then sail/float/sink across the channel an arrive in France, It was funny as fuck, I'm a little sceptical as to whether or not they really achieved their aim unaided, but I'd like to think that they did.
There was a big protest this weekend at Menwith Hill all these hippy and shit protesting about 'Star Wars' I can see their point, the first three were cracking then the next three were abit of a let down although the second three were actually the first three and the first three were the second three, I suppose it could be worth a protest, especially if the next three are the last three and then we get the three before the last three, I mean, you wouldn't read a book that way would you! so I say protest away hippies.
So I've started a new job in St Helens on a big new £125 million hospital and it's been a fucking nightmare, only been there a few hours! firstly the vetting process started out about a month ago when I had to fill out a load of forms and return them, then we got a huge document of site regulations and all this bullshit lah de dah, then we were told that rigger boots are no longer allowed on site, no one can give a reason as to why they are banned, just that you need proper steel toe capped shoes, with laces. Stupid! So my dad had to buy some new boots, mine were fine, then we get on site, do two inductions at an hour each, then fill out more forms then we have to go get new P.P.E (Personal Protection Equipment) so we both needed a new hard hat, new high viz vest, new goggles, and new gloves, we already had these items but they were deemed unsuitable for site! un - fucking - believable!
So to get all that gear we need to fill in more forms, then we have to go through security to get our passes and fill out more forms, then I'm pretty sure we are gonna have to fill out a form saying that we have filled out all the necessary forms.
We didn't inform the site that our deliver lorry was coming that day so when he arrived from south Wales, he was told to go home, so we've had to book him in again for tomorrow, so today was a fucking waste of time apart from the fact we have got our inductions done, I'm so pissed off with writing shit out today that I wasn't even gonna update but I promised Jof I'd do one over the weekend, So here it is a day late, but let's see how often you update your blog when you are writing your novel!! (not that I'm writing a novel I just wanted to say something catty)
Anyway, tea time, then playing Snooker. then site tomorrow.
Laters
Wogg
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me, They could care less as long as someone'll bleed.
Now then.
A hive of activity has been passing me by and I have a few things to blog, first of all, it's now October, I don't know why, but I like October, it's always cold and damp, but I think there is something quintessentially English about October.
So I went out with the usual rabble for Trelly's birthday on Saturday night, had fun too, we started off in the Alexandra (formerly Rat and Parrot) then we moved down to Monteys where I chatted to McParty about something stupid, then I saw Pete, (known in Harrogate as 'cheaty Pete' or simply 'knob'ead' or 'cunt') He told me about his trip to Falaraki where he got the living shit kicked out of him, he even had pictures in his phone, he looked like he had been done over good and proper, so that made the night better, couldn't happen to a nicer bloke, I know I should sound sympathetic but they guy has a face that only a fist could love and he doesn't know when to shut his gob, that sounds rich coming from me but I do actually know when to shut my mouth, I just choose not to!
after Monteys we went to Yates' then after there we went to Revolution, Paid a couple of quid to get in then we sold our soles to the devil in order to raise funds for drinks, (Eloise bought 2 pichers of red bull &vodka and it came to £32) , Jof phoned me but I could hardly hear him, so the conversation went, 'hello, yabba yabba yabba Glenn Hoddle, yabba yabba yabba Ray Clemence, yabba yabba yabba see you" I love it when Jof phones! before we knew it, the night had almost ended, Robin had gone home during Yates's because he had to do the Great North Run the next day, he did well too, completing it in 1hr 49 mins. So Trel, Matt and me went in search of Pizza, I shared a 2 for 1 pepperoni with Trelly and Matt got 2 spicy chicken pizzas for himself, I feel it should be said that Matt was bombed, we walked home and had to hold Matt up, he also held his pizza box upright instead of holding the box flat, so that was funny watching him try to get a slice of pizza that had all slumped to the bottom of the box, it was probably this action which resulted in him dropping it.
Jof's blog has got all exciting over the last twenty four hours, I say exciting because something has actually happened, number one he has done two updates in two days and secondly he has been challenged by Rich Fee to write a novel in a month, I sincerely wish him the best of luck and look forward to reading the end product, although it is going to be a nightmare month for Joffers I know he won't quit, he may not get to the required amount of words by the end of the November 30th midnight deadline, but I've every faith that he'll doing something ace.
keep up to date with it from here: Jof's book page
Well, I'm off to Lancaster tomorrow, should be a nice little job, but you know how these things go, the nice little jobs turn out to be the worst ones.
well I'm bored now, so I'm gonna go.
laters.
A hive of activity has been passing me by and I have a few things to blog, first of all, it's now October, I don't know why, but I like October, it's always cold and damp, but I think there is something quintessentially English about October.
So I went out with the usual rabble for Trelly's birthday on Saturday night, had fun too, we started off in the Alexandra (formerly Rat and Parrot) then we moved down to Monteys where I chatted to McParty about something stupid, then I saw Pete, (known in Harrogate as 'cheaty Pete' or simply 'knob'ead' or 'cunt') He told me about his trip to Falaraki where he got the living shit kicked out of him, he even had pictures in his phone, he looked like he had been done over good and proper, so that made the night better, couldn't happen to a nicer bloke, I know I should sound sympathetic but they guy has a face that only a fist could love and he doesn't know when to shut his gob, that sounds rich coming from me but I do actually know when to shut my mouth, I just choose not to!
after Monteys we went to Yates' then after there we went to Revolution, Paid a couple of quid to get in then we sold our soles to the devil in order to raise funds for drinks, (Eloise bought 2 pichers of red bull &vodka and it came to £32) , Jof phoned me but I could hardly hear him, so the conversation went, 'hello, yabba yabba yabba Glenn Hoddle, yabba yabba yabba Ray Clemence, yabba yabba yabba see you" I love it when Jof phones! before we knew it, the night had almost ended, Robin had gone home during Yates's because he had to do the Great North Run the next day, he did well too, completing it in 1hr 49 mins. So Trel, Matt and me went in search of Pizza, I shared a 2 for 1 pepperoni with Trelly and Matt got 2 spicy chicken pizzas for himself, I feel it should be said that Matt was bombed, we walked home and had to hold Matt up, he also held his pizza box upright instead of holding the box flat, so that was funny watching him try to get a slice of pizza that had all slumped to the bottom of the box, it was probably this action which resulted in him dropping it.
Jof's blog has got all exciting over the last twenty four hours, I say exciting because something has actually happened, number one he has done two updates in two days and secondly he has been challenged by Rich Fee to write a novel in a month, I sincerely wish him the best of luck and look forward to reading the end product, although it is going to be a nightmare month for Joffers I know he won't quit, he may not get to the required amount of words by the end of the November 30th midnight deadline, but I've every faith that he'll doing something ace.
keep up to date with it from here: Jof's book page
Well, I'm off to Lancaster tomorrow, should be a nice little job, but you know how these things go, the nice little jobs turn out to be the worst ones.
well I'm bored now, so I'm gonna go.
laters.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Time to say goodbye, - Con te partirò, Paesi che non ho mai, veduto e vissuto con te, adesso sì li vivrò.
Let me tell you about something that has been playing on my mind for a while now, and last night I had a terrible nightmare about it too, it's set 21st September 1997, ten years ago. It's absolutely true too.
I had been practising my guitar, I remember this because I had learnt how to play 'fool on the hill' by the Beatles, it was probably the easiest song to learn in the book that I had, and I hadn't been playing guitar for long by then so I was looking for easy things to play, I had my tea then went out at about 6:30 to see if Rob Newburn was coming out, we played some football then at about 7:15 we decided to go to Spar, I knew that Lisa Brown would be working so we set off to see her, flirt and buy some sweets, I can even remember the conversation we had with her, she got in a bad mood so Rob and myself left not long after going to see her, walking along Skipton road we pass the esso station and notice some commotion on the forecourt, a woman was screaming at some bloke to stay back, she had something in her hand and she was piss wet through, head to toe, it was Rob that slowed down to see what was going on as this woman picked up a petrol pump and tried to douse herself with more petrol, only a trickle came out of the pump because the lady in the shop had turned them all off.
Realising that we weren't in a safe place, I suggested that we cross the road and sit on the wall where Norweb was and see how this turns out, we could hear her screaming but couldn't work out what she was saying, she had three men by this time trying to calm her down but she was keeping her distance and holding a lighter in her hand, she ran away from the men and was at the front of the forecourt by the road, it was then she flicked the lighter and was engulfed in a huge ball of flames, I remember the image so well, her arms shot up above her head and then she ran forwards a few steps, just a blazing fireball and then fell over, Rob and me stood up and didn't know what to do, I remember a man run across the road to help, it turned out that that man was an off duty fireman, although I don't know what he could have done to help, people were throwing their coats on the woman trying to extinguish the flames, I couldn't see properly because there is a wall in the way, then the fire engines turned up, We left the scene in absolute shock, I don't even know why we left, we just decided it was best to go.
I never had any nightmares about it, my parents were worried that I might be traumatised, but I was always fine, I didn't mind talking about the story and always managed to make a joke about it, which was my way of dealing with bad situations. I later found out that the woman died in Pinderfields hospital from her injuries, she never recovered from the coma, it was her second attempt at suicide and she was a regular in the priory unit, she was also a very nice woman who was an exceptional artist.
It's not until now, ten years on that I can admit, the whole incident scared the shit out of me, I am writing about this because I don't think I will ever forget that day and I don't think I ever should, it always saddens me a little bit when I think about it, it didn't traumatise me I carried on my normal life, I'm just amazed that it's been ten years that have gone by so fast.
I had been practising my guitar, I remember this because I had learnt how to play 'fool on the hill' by the Beatles, it was probably the easiest song to learn in the book that I had, and I hadn't been playing guitar for long by then so I was looking for easy things to play, I had my tea then went out at about 6:30 to see if Rob Newburn was coming out, we played some football then at about 7:15 we decided to go to Spar, I knew that Lisa Brown would be working so we set off to see her, flirt and buy some sweets, I can even remember the conversation we had with her, she got in a bad mood so Rob and myself left not long after going to see her, walking along Skipton road we pass the esso station and notice some commotion on the forecourt, a woman was screaming at some bloke to stay back, she had something in her hand and she was piss wet through, head to toe, it was Rob that slowed down to see what was going on as this woman picked up a petrol pump and tried to douse herself with more petrol, only a trickle came out of the pump because the lady in the shop had turned them all off.
Realising that we weren't in a safe place, I suggested that we cross the road and sit on the wall where Norweb was and see how this turns out, we could hear her screaming but couldn't work out what she was saying, she had three men by this time trying to calm her down but she was keeping her distance and holding a lighter in her hand, she ran away from the men and was at the front of the forecourt by the road, it was then she flicked the lighter and was engulfed in a huge ball of flames, I remember the image so well, her arms shot up above her head and then she ran forwards a few steps, just a blazing fireball and then fell over, Rob and me stood up and didn't know what to do, I remember a man run across the road to help, it turned out that that man was an off duty fireman, although I don't know what he could have done to help, people were throwing their coats on the woman trying to extinguish the flames, I couldn't see properly because there is a wall in the way, then the fire engines turned up, We left the scene in absolute shock, I don't even know why we left, we just decided it was best to go.
I never had any nightmares about it, my parents were worried that I might be traumatised, but I was always fine, I didn't mind talking about the story and always managed to make a joke about it, which was my way of dealing with bad situations. I later found out that the woman died in Pinderfields hospital from her injuries, she never recovered from the coma, it was her second attempt at suicide and she was a regular in the priory unit, she was also a very nice woman who was an exceptional artist.
It's not until now, ten years on that I can admit, the whole incident scared the shit out of me, I am writing about this because I don't think I will ever forget that day and I don't think I ever should, it always saddens me a little bit when I think about it, it didn't traumatise me I carried on my normal life, I'm just amazed that it's been ten years that have gone by so fast.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Is there anybody going to listen to my story, All about the girl who came to stay?, She's the kind of girl you want so much, it makes you sorry.
Howdy people
I thought I'd lay a big surprise update on you, however the idea of a surprise is slowly becoming less of a fun thing and more of a nightmare for me because I don't know what to write, after all it's only been a week since my last update, so I'll start from there.
After finishing my update I went to asda for some supplies, I got all the stuff I needed and went to the checkout, said hello to the lady behind the checkout and pack my bags as she scanned my goods then she told me how much she wanted and I put my hand into my pocket, and to my horror I didn't have any money on me, never mind it's not that bad, I'll pay by card, so I put my hand into my other pocket and I didn't have my cards with me either, I then started mumbling and going red whilst checking for pockets on my jeans I know I don't have before having to look the lady in the eye and tell her I had forgotten all my money, that I was very sorry and this was so embarrassing, she had to call the manager lady and I tell you now, if a hole appeared in the ground then I would have thrown myself down it, the manager lady was very nice and seemed understanding, I guess they get idiots in asda all the time, I was merely a statistic. She offered to look after my shopping whilst I go home and get my money and go back, I explained that I was walking and the round journey for a lazy bastard like me would take forever, ( I must mention in my defence that my legs were really hurting due to shin splints, which sometimes get so painful it makes me cry), so I left asda with my head to my chest trying not to look at anyone because my paranoia set in and I assumed that everyone in asda must know by now that I was the dick with no money. I returned to asda the next day with Trelly and got my stuff and paid in hard cash that I withdrew from the machine, I wasn't taking any chances of my card being rejected.
My parents got back from holiday on Saturday and they had a great time, thanks for asking, they got me a 1L bottle of Jack Daniels for looking after the dog, which I will keep until Christmas day then neck the lot after a bottle of red wine and a few lagers.
Last night I watched the film 1408, it was pretty creepy but I was a bit disappointed with the ending, but never mind, I suggest you give it a looksie.
I'm also super excited because Prison Break season 3 has started, I saw episode 1 the other day and it was a cool as ever, I'm not going to spoil it for everyone because I know Bullough hasn't seen it but it's awesome and one of the major characters dies in episode 1! (or does he/she?)
Sausage casserole for my tea tonight, so I might go get that prepped in a minute because I haven't really got much more to tell you, hope the update is sufficient, if not unexpected, this Friday (21st) is Lee's birthday, so happy birthday to you sir. Then 8 days later (29th) it's Trelly's birthday, so happy birthday to you too. I suppose there's no need to make a fuss, so I wont.
All the best.
Woggzeh.
Edit: I have been informed by Dave that it is also Hannah's birthday on the 21st, so many happy returns to you , I hope you have a good day.
I thought I'd lay a big surprise update on you, however the idea of a surprise is slowly becoming less of a fun thing and more of a nightmare for me because I don't know what to write, after all it's only been a week since my last update, so I'll start from there.
After finishing my update I went to asda for some supplies, I got all the stuff I needed and went to the checkout, said hello to the lady behind the checkout and pack my bags as she scanned my goods then she told me how much she wanted and I put my hand into my pocket, and to my horror I didn't have any money on me, never mind it's not that bad, I'll pay by card, so I put my hand into my other pocket and I didn't have my cards with me either, I then started mumbling and going red whilst checking for pockets on my jeans I know I don't have before having to look the lady in the eye and tell her I had forgotten all my money, that I was very sorry and this was so embarrassing, she had to call the manager lady and I tell you now, if a hole appeared in the ground then I would have thrown myself down it, the manager lady was very nice and seemed understanding, I guess they get idiots in asda all the time, I was merely a statistic. She offered to look after my shopping whilst I go home and get my money and go back, I explained that I was walking and the round journey for a lazy bastard like me would take forever, ( I must mention in my defence that my legs were really hurting due to shin splints, which sometimes get so painful it makes me cry), so I left asda with my head to my chest trying not to look at anyone because my paranoia set in and I assumed that everyone in asda must know by now that I was the dick with no money. I returned to asda the next day with Trelly and got my stuff and paid in hard cash that I withdrew from the machine, I wasn't taking any chances of my card being rejected.
My parents got back from holiday on Saturday and they had a great time, thanks for asking, they got me a 1L bottle of Jack Daniels for looking after the dog, which I will keep until Christmas day then neck the lot after a bottle of red wine and a few lagers.
Last night I watched the film 1408, it was pretty creepy but I was a bit disappointed with the ending, but never mind, I suggest you give it a looksie.
I'm also super excited because Prison Break season 3 has started, I saw episode 1 the other day and it was a cool as ever, I'm not going to spoil it for everyone because I know Bullough hasn't seen it but it's awesome and one of the major characters dies in episode 1! (or does he/she?)
Sausage casserole for my tea tonight, so I might go get that prepped in a minute because I haven't really got much more to tell you, hope the update is sufficient, if not unexpected, this Friday (21st) is Lee's birthday, so happy birthday to you sir. Then 8 days later (29th) it's Trelly's birthday, so happy birthday to you too. I suppose there's no need to make a fuss, so I wont.
All the best.
Woggzeh.
Edit: I have been informed by Dave that it is also Hannah's birthday on the 21st, so many happy returns to you , I hope you have a good day.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
And we can build this dream together, standing strong forever, Nothing's gonna stop us now.
Hello my faithful readers.
I thought I'd give you a short update of yesterday, It was quite possibly the most frustrating day of my life, So annoying in fact that I can't actually remember most of it. I'll merely highlight some of the low points.
I went to the snooker hall and couldn't pot a fucking ball, it was like I had become a imbecile overnight, I managed a break of 9! I know that's not that annoying to you but for me it was almost clobbering time! I was fuming, so I went home made myself a cup of tea and put some biscuits in a bowl, I would have put them on a plate but I'd put them all away and the bowl was handy, fuck off, it doesn't matter anyway, the point is, I got some biscuits. So I sit on the sofa with my feet up watching something on tv, (I think it was catchphrase) and I'm dunking my biccies into me brew, then I go to take a slurp of drink and the fucking mug falls away from the handle, covering my clean shirt and jeans in hot tea and the fucking bowl full of biscuits gets flooded with tea, I jump up and get my shirt off because I was burning, I think I may have said a few swearwords too, I get a cloth and go clean up the mess, by which time all my biscuits are fucked too! I then go to the tumble dryer and get a new clean shirt out but in my absent mindedness, I opened the freezer and totally forgot what I was doing in the kitchen, I knew I didn't need anything from the freezer but I couldn't for the life of me work out why I was standing in front of the freezer with no shirt on and wearing wet jeans.
I'm sure something else happened later on too, but I can't remember what it was, probably something to do with the dog only going for a shit when there's a fucking audience walking by, I'm not kidding, I took the fucking thing out 4 times the other day and she didn't do anything, we didn't see another person either, but on the fifth time of taking her out we see no one, then a family of four walk down the ginnel followed by two teenage lads, suddenly the dog needs to have a fucking shit! so there she squats and crimps one out while these people walk by, I was so embarrassed, it's the same when taking her out at 2am, I can walk her round the streets, every house on the street is asleep, all the lights are out and the dog can crap wherever it wants, however, if you have one fucking house with the light on and the owner looking out of his window, then guess which house the fucking dog will choose to shit in front of! I tell you, I fucking hate dogs.
Well that'll do for now, gonna go to the snooker hall for an hour, then going to Asda and Fultons for some supplies.
see ya later people.
Woggzeh
I thought I'd give you a short update of yesterday, It was quite possibly the most frustrating day of my life, So annoying in fact that I can't actually remember most of it. I'll merely highlight some of the low points.
I went to the snooker hall and couldn't pot a fucking ball, it was like I had become a imbecile overnight, I managed a break of 9! I know that's not that annoying to you but for me it was almost clobbering time! I was fuming, so I went home made myself a cup of tea and put some biscuits in a bowl, I would have put them on a plate but I'd put them all away and the bowl was handy, fuck off, it doesn't matter anyway, the point is, I got some biscuits. So I sit on the sofa with my feet up watching something on tv, (I think it was catchphrase) and I'm dunking my biccies into me brew, then I go to take a slurp of drink and the fucking mug falls away from the handle, covering my clean shirt and jeans in hot tea and the fucking bowl full of biscuits gets flooded with tea, I jump up and get my shirt off because I was burning, I think I may have said a few swearwords too, I get a cloth and go clean up the mess, by which time all my biscuits are fucked too! I then go to the tumble dryer and get a new clean shirt out but in my absent mindedness, I opened the freezer and totally forgot what I was doing in the kitchen, I knew I didn't need anything from the freezer but I couldn't for the life of me work out why I was standing in front of the freezer with no shirt on and wearing wet jeans.
I'm sure something else happened later on too, but I can't remember what it was, probably something to do with the dog only going for a shit when there's a fucking audience walking by, I'm not kidding, I took the fucking thing out 4 times the other day and she didn't do anything, we didn't see another person either, but on the fifth time of taking her out we see no one, then a family of four walk down the ginnel followed by two teenage lads, suddenly the dog needs to have a fucking shit! so there she squats and crimps one out while these people walk by, I was so embarrassed, it's the same when taking her out at 2am, I can walk her round the streets, every house on the street is asleep, all the lights are out and the dog can crap wherever it wants, however, if you have one fucking house with the light on and the owner looking out of his window, then guess which house the fucking dog will choose to shit in front of! I tell you, I fucking hate dogs.
Well that'll do for now, gonna go to the snooker hall for an hour, then going to Asda and Fultons for some supplies.
see ya later people.
Woggzeh
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Shine the headlight, straight into my eyes, Like the roadkill, I'm paralysed, you see through my disguise.
I say, a September update!
I sit at my computer screen with my minestrone cup a soup and decided to do an update, mainly because I'm bored and secondly because I can't be arsed with all the moaners out there asking for an update.
So what's new in the world of wog?
I've grown a beard! it's quite beard like now and I've shaved my head so that looks kind of weird, like my heads on upside down. It's strange actually because if you get your hair cut then nobody gives a shit apart from the daft cunt who says, "getting it finished later?" or some other knobhead remark, but when you grow a beard, you get the same cunts and a few more added on with the question, "why'd you grow a beard?" I suppose it's a fair question but it's a fucking stupid one because the answer is going to be as dull as the fucker who asked it, "because I felt like it". I suppose I could spice things up abit and say, "well I grew the beard because I murdered someone and hid the body and when the police turn up on my doorstep asking where I was on such and such a date, then I can say, 'I was at home; growing a beard; look". Not that growing a beard is something you need to work hard at.
So I'm off work at the moment, (holidays) and as usual I'm bored, I go to Asda, then the snooker hall, then watch tv, then get drunk. (actually, It's pretty cool, but for the sake of the blog...) So I'm mostly in a mood all the time, Has anybody else been watching Hells Kitchen? I like it, Mainly because Angus Deayton is so funny, such a sarcastic bastard. Did you know that Marco Pierre White started his cooking career by working in the George hotel kitchens in Harrogate! there you go, you can use that fact next time you feel like letting out a random fact.
Well, my minestrone soup is now finished, I've made sure I haven't got any bits in my beard and now I'm going to go as well, probably go to the snooker hall for a bit, then make sure I'm home for David Dickinsons show at 2pm, it's a bloody con that show, I'm sure it is, some bint takes in a load of gold or something that's really worth about a grand and the 'expert' tells them it's a bag of shite and offers them £50, then David Dickinson pops his mahogany fucking head into the fray and says, "that's a good offer, I'd take it" and because that cunt says that then the stupid bint fucking trusts him and takes the money for the item, the dealer then wangs the item in the auction and it says he makes a £20 profit, but I think it's all a con and the cunt makes about £2000 profit, very shady these auction men.
Anyway,
Moff
Woggzeh
I sit at my computer screen with my minestrone cup a soup and decided to do an update, mainly because I'm bored and secondly because I can't be arsed with all the moaners out there asking for an update.
So what's new in the world of wog?
I've grown a beard! it's quite beard like now and I've shaved my head so that looks kind of weird, like my heads on upside down. It's strange actually because if you get your hair cut then nobody gives a shit apart from the daft cunt who says, "getting it finished later?" or some other knobhead remark, but when you grow a beard, you get the same cunts and a few more added on with the question, "why'd you grow a beard?" I suppose it's a fair question but it's a fucking stupid one because the answer is going to be as dull as the fucker who asked it, "because I felt like it". I suppose I could spice things up abit and say, "well I grew the beard because I murdered someone and hid the body and when the police turn up on my doorstep asking where I was on such and such a date, then I can say, 'I was at home; growing a beard; look". Not that growing a beard is something you need to work hard at.
So I'm off work at the moment, (holidays) and as usual I'm bored, I go to Asda, then the snooker hall, then watch tv, then get drunk. (actually, It's pretty cool, but for the sake of the blog...) So I'm mostly in a mood all the time, Has anybody else been watching Hells Kitchen? I like it, Mainly because Angus Deayton is so funny, such a sarcastic bastard. Did you know that Marco Pierre White started his cooking career by working in the George hotel kitchens in Harrogate! there you go, you can use that fact next time you feel like letting out a random fact.
Well, my minestrone soup is now finished, I've made sure I haven't got any bits in my beard and now I'm going to go as well, probably go to the snooker hall for a bit, then make sure I'm home for David Dickinsons show at 2pm, it's a bloody con that show, I'm sure it is, some bint takes in a load of gold or something that's really worth about a grand and the 'expert' tells them it's a bag of shite and offers them £50, then David Dickinson pops his mahogany fucking head into the fray and says, "that's a good offer, I'd take it" and because that cunt says that then the stupid bint fucking trusts him and takes the money for the item, the dealer then wangs the item in the auction and it says he makes a £20 profit, but I think it's all a con and the cunt makes about £2000 profit, very shady these auction men.
Anyway,
Moff
Woggzeh
Sunday, August 19, 2007
We should spend the night in a small hotel like this, Drinking champagne in it.
Wotcha,
I'm fucked off by people constantly reminding me to update my blog, you know who you are, you're the same fuckers who complain that the update was a bit shit, you want a brilliant fucking update then go fucking write one yourself, I'm happy to copy and paste your updates onto my blog, it'll save me the headache of trying to be creative.
Now then, what have I done? I've fucking worked and I've fucking not worked and I've fucking got drunk and I've been fucking sober, I've fucking slept and I've been a-fucking-wake. I hope that you are all happy now. Woggzeh signing off.
That's how the update will read in future!
So I've been in South Wales and hated it, I hate Wales and I hate the Welsh, what a bunch of pricks they are, all of them, constantly walk around with a chip on their shoulder carping on about , I don't fucking know what, Coal probably, they are shit at everything they do except digging fucking holes!
So I was glad to leave that shit hole and prepared for the 6 hour journey home, which, to cut a long story short, turned into a 9 hour journey home because the van broke down on the M1, not had any work this last week due to said van, next week I think I'm in Lancaster from Tuesday, but I don't know.
I've been playing snooker and getting better at that, which is nice although I still miss easy shots and could punch the fuck out of some unlucky cunt who gets in my way, but I managed to keep a lid on my temper.
Went to see Badness play on Thursday, which was awesome, Top band and they play all over the country, so I suggest you check out their website and see if they are playing at a venue near you, I know Jof wont go because he doesn't like Ska, (wanker).
I'm doing a lot of face booking at the moment and I'm slightly ashamed, I'm sure there are better things I could do with my time but I can't think what, Face Book is my guilty sin, my dirty little secret, my... (I bet there's some phrase in French that would sound good here) Whatever, I would like to say that it's nice to hear from some of my old school pals, I posted a few school pictures and my friends have swarmed to them like flys to shit! which is nice because there were some cool people I knew 'back in the day', also it's always nice to bump up your friends list! I created a group too, "Word Association Game" it's pretty much self explanatory, except loads of people have joined and not contributed anything to the game! miserable fucks!
Ah Fuck it, I've spent ten minutes on this blog now, so that'll do.
Woggzeh.
P. fucking. S - I understand Lee has a case of the gut rot, hope you're ok dude, let me know what's going on mate.
Over and Out!
I'm fucked off by people constantly reminding me to update my blog, you know who you are, you're the same fuckers who complain that the update was a bit shit, you want a brilliant fucking update then go fucking write one yourself, I'm happy to copy and paste your updates onto my blog, it'll save me the headache of trying to be creative.
Now then, what have I done? I've fucking worked and I've fucking not worked and I've fucking got drunk and I've been fucking sober, I've fucking slept and I've been a-fucking-wake. I hope that you are all happy now. Woggzeh signing off.
That's how the update will read in future!
So I've been in South Wales and hated it, I hate Wales and I hate the Welsh, what a bunch of pricks they are, all of them, constantly walk around with a chip on their shoulder carping on about , I don't fucking know what, Coal probably, they are shit at everything they do except digging fucking holes!
So I was glad to leave that shit hole and prepared for the 6 hour journey home, which, to cut a long story short, turned into a 9 hour journey home because the van broke down on the M1, not had any work this last week due to said van, next week I think I'm in Lancaster from Tuesday, but I don't know.
I've been playing snooker and getting better at that, which is nice although I still miss easy shots and could punch the fuck out of some unlucky cunt who gets in my way, but I managed to keep a lid on my temper.
Went to see Badness play on Thursday, which was awesome, Top band and they play all over the country, so I suggest you check out their website and see if they are playing at a venue near you, I know Jof wont go because he doesn't like Ska, (wanker).
I'm doing a lot of face booking at the moment and I'm slightly ashamed, I'm sure there are better things I could do with my time but I can't think what, Face Book is my guilty sin, my dirty little secret, my... (I bet there's some phrase in French that would sound good here) Whatever, I would like to say that it's nice to hear from some of my old school pals, I posted a few school pictures and my friends have swarmed to them like flys to shit! which is nice because there were some cool people I knew 'back in the day', also it's always nice to bump up your friends list! I created a group too, "Word Association Game" it's pretty much self explanatory, except loads of people have joined and not contributed anything to the game! miserable fucks!
Ah Fuck it, I've spent ten minutes on this blog now, so that'll do.
Woggzeh.
P. fucking. S - I understand Lee has a case of the gut rot, hope you're ok dude, let me know what's going on mate.
Over and Out!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Another victim of line up in line, Line up in line is all I remember. Oh, how their favours change, You could have been kinder.
Just got back from the camping trip, I've had the obligatory shit and shower and now I'm updating just for you, you lucky people.
Friday:
I got up at 7am because I had to make a c.d so we had some music to listen to on our journey, I always do the best music so I always get asked to do that task.
Robin picked me up at about ten past nine, his car was already jammed with his and Matt's gear, which was crazy because we had to pick up Trelly after me, so we ended up rammed in the back of the car with bags and chairs and sleeping mats carefully positioned around us.
The drive to Coniston was typical of any drive to anywhere, I will mention that we saw roadkill, and there were still disputes this morning over what was dead, I reckon it was a dog that had been ripped in half, (tasted like dog).
Arrived at Coniston hall and Robin went to book in when Steve phoned us asking where we were, he had arrived literally minutes before us, so we all met up and looked for a decent place to pitch our tents. Eventually we settled on a hilly bit, As soon as we got our tents out of the car the bloody wind started up, I'm not kidding you, it was almost a tornado, once again I was the returning champion and got my tent up first, but not without a little help from Trelly, Steve and Trelly got their tents up and we cracked open a beer and watched Robin and Matt struggle with their mansion in the wind, about an hour later they were finished and joined us in the drinketh of the beerses.
It started pissing down really heavily so we all piled into Robin's tent and watched a DVD, blades of Steel, which was quite funny, Steve built a stone circle outside of out tents to ward off the rain and please the gods, it fucking worked too!
Plenty of beer later and a pasta meal, we were bored of waiting for Bullough's party so at about 7:30 we set off for the pub, (not forgetting that we were mostly all pissed by now) on our way there, we met Bullough's party and gave them bad instructions as to where we were camped, (yeah, you know the fork in the road, well, we're on the left abit further on, the one where my tent is pitched).
we left them because we were thirsty and sauntered to the pub, typically the prices were extortionate (ranged from £2.70 a pint to £3.00)we hit the Ship Inn first then went to the Yewdale and the Crown where we were joined by Bullough, Han, Scott and Justine, we all drank and got merry, we flipped beer mats, Trelly managed to flip one mat 18 times in a row (world record) and I managed to flip a stack of 19 cards (world record), I think Hannah may have beaten my record but she's a girl and so her effort doesn't count!
The pubs stopped serving at 11pm so we had to stagger home (totally pissed), We sat and chatted for a bit then one by one we turned in, until Steve was the only one awake, so he had some milk and apple pies.
Saturday:
I awoke at about 8am and felt fucking great, so I tried to sleep abit more but got bored so I got up, woke everyone else up, made sure everyone was out of their tents then promptly went back to bed nursing a late hangover (I fucking hate those sneaky bastard hangovers that get you like 30 minutes after you get up and think everything is fine), needless to say everyone was pissed off at me, but fuck you all!
About elevenish we took a drive to Tarn Hows, we had a nice walk round and saw some crazy unidentifiable creature that kept surfacing then submerging from the lake, scary! Rob and Matt got and ice cream on the way back to the car, we then had a discussion about, "strawberry's or raspberry's, Which do you prefer?" Everyone except Trelly were wrong in their opinions that Strawberry's were better, I hang around with such morons!
We then went for a drive up some pass, where the road was as wide as a small car and all the corners are blind, there are very few passing places and is a fucking scary drive, made even scarier when some cunt brought his caravan, clearly ignoring the signs that read, "not suitable for caravans", we had to edge the car to the side of the road and nearly went down the sheer face of cliff, this was a dangerous moment, and Steve managed to sum up all our fears by farting (which was the foulest smell I'd ever smelt), We eventually came away with our lives and car in tact, so we set off back to the camp site, I bought a B.L.T. because I had tummy ache, sorted that out!
When we got back, Trelly and myself went looking for this fucking pier that Trel has been banging on about for months, we walked and walked but didn't find it, I say that scornfully, but it wasn't a bad walk, the weather was good and we had some nice views of the surrounding mountains (They look like mountains anyway).
Got back and Bulloughs party had all packed up and were almost ready for home, Hannah whined that she was tired and missed her bed, so everyone was off home, (news for ya Han, that's camping, you don't go camping to feel refreshed at the end of it, you go for the experience) Dave danced like a cunt! He asked me if I would put it in my blog so I said yeah and hey ho, there it was, your moment in history, The party were ready to set off home, Bullough couldn't hide his disapointment at leaving but kept smiling anyway, we bid them farewell and cracked open some beers.
Afer eating and chilling we went to the pub again, Ship Inn, then onto the Yewdale where it soon became evident that Robin was shitfaced! He was also very loud, Trel and me had to keep going outside for fear of getting our heads kicked in, we managed to convince Rob to get some food, so he went to the takeaway for chips and curry sauce, we went to the Black Bull, had a pint, ate about 5 bags of crisps then had to get back to our tents, with Robin "foghorn" Cook, We made it back and Robin and Matt went to bed, Me Steve and Trel sat up and had a beer, we went to the toilets and Steve had this great idea of getting into the girls toilets involving me acting as Steve's retarded brother, it was hysterical at the time but the one that nearly made me sick with laughter was Steve's suggestion to just go in, kick the door open, point and say, "I can see your fanny", not so funny in print on this blog, but Steve's silly voices and actions made the moment, pant wettingly funny. We got back and decided to turn in, Steve once again wasn't ready for bed so he cooked a tin of hot dog sausages in his tent.
Sunday:
Got up at 8am, I felt fantastic, the weather was scorching hot (typical) got everyone else up, and started packing my gear away (no hangover today, yeah baby). We packed the car, said goodbye to Steve and went to Ambleside for breakfast at Daisy's, I ordered, Sausage, egg, bacon, hash browns and mushrooms with a cup of tea, it came to £5.70, (thieving twats), the woman taking our order was a right moody bitch too! once brekkers was consumed and Trelly had managed to not regurgitate his breakfast all over me, we got back in the car for the journey home.
Woggzeh.
Friday:
I got up at 7am because I had to make a c.d so we had some music to listen to on our journey, I always do the best music so I always get asked to do that task.
Robin picked me up at about ten past nine, his car was already jammed with his and Matt's gear, which was crazy because we had to pick up Trelly after me, so we ended up rammed in the back of the car with bags and chairs and sleeping mats carefully positioned around us.
The drive to Coniston was typical of any drive to anywhere, I will mention that we saw roadkill, and there were still disputes this morning over what was dead, I reckon it was a dog that had been ripped in half, (tasted like dog).
Arrived at Coniston hall and Robin went to book in when Steve phoned us asking where we were, he had arrived literally minutes before us, so we all met up and looked for a decent place to pitch our tents. Eventually we settled on a hilly bit, As soon as we got our tents out of the car the bloody wind started up, I'm not kidding you, it was almost a tornado, once again I was the returning champion and got my tent up first, but not without a little help from Trelly, Steve and Trelly got their tents up and we cracked open a beer and watched Robin and Matt struggle with their mansion in the wind, about an hour later they were finished and joined us in the drinketh of the beerses.
It started pissing down really heavily so we all piled into Robin's tent and watched a DVD, blades of Steel, which was quite funny, Steve built a stone circle outside of out tents to ward off the rain and please the gods, it fucking worked too!
Plenty of beer later and a pasta meal, we were bored of waiting for Bullough's party so at about 7:30 we set off for the pub, (not forgetting that we were mostly all pissed by now) on our way there, we met Bullough's party and gave them bad instructions as to where we were camped, (yeah, you know the fork in the road, well, we're on the left abit further on, the one where my tent is pitched).
we left them because we were thirsty and sauntered to the pub, typically the prices were extortionate (ranged from £2.70 a pint to £3.00)we hit the Ship Inn first then went to the Yewdale and the Crown where we were joined by Bullough, Han, Scott and Justine, we all drank and got merry, we flipped beer mats, Trelly managed to flip one mat 18 times in a row (world record) and I managed to flip a stack of 19 cards (world record), I think Hannah may have beaten my record but she's a girl and so her effort doesn't count!
The pubs stopped serving at 11pm so we had to stagger home (totally pissed), We sat and chatted for a bit then one by one we turned in, until Steve was the only one awake, so he had some milk and apple pies.
Saturday:
I awoke at about 8am and felt fucking great, so I tried to sleep abit more but got bored so I got up, woke everyone else up, made sure everyone was out of their tents then promptly went back to bed nursing a late hangover (I fucking hate those sneaky bastard hangovers that get you like 30 minutes after you get up and think everything is fine), needless to say everyone was pissed off at me, but fuck you all!
About elevenish we took a drive to Tarn Hows, we had a nice walk round and saw some crazy unidentifiable creature that kept surfacing then submerging from the lake, scary! Rob and Matt got and ice cream on the way back to the car, we then had a discussion about, "strawberry's or raspberry's, Which do you prefer?" Everyone except Trelly were wrong in their opinions that Strawberry's were better, I hang around with such morons!
We then went for a drive up some pass, where the road was as wide as a small car and all the corners are blind, there are very few passing places and is a fucking scary drive, made even scarier when some cunt brought his caravan, clearly ignoring the signs that read, "not suitable for caravans", we had to edge the car to the side of the road and nearly went down the sheer face of cliff, this was a dangerous moment, and Steve managed to sum up all our fears by farting (which was the foulest smell I'd ever smelt), We eventually came away with our lives and car in tact, so we set off back to the camp site, I bought a B.L.T. because I had tummy ache, sorted that out!
When we got back, Trelly and myself went looking for this fucking pier that Trel has been banging on about for months, we walked and walked but didn't find it, I say that scornfully, but it wasn't a bad walk, the weather was good and we had some nice views of the surrounding mountains (They look like mountains anyway).
Got back and Bulloughs party had all packed up and were almost ready for home, Hannah whined that she was tired and missed her bed, so everyone was off home, (news for ya Han, that's camping, you don't go camping to feel refreshed at the end of it, you go for the experience) Dave danced like a cunt! He asked me if I would put it in my blog so I said yeah and hey ho, there it was, your moment in history, The party were ready to set off home, Bullough couldn't hide his disapointment at leaving but kept smiling anyway, we bid them farewell and cracked open some beers.
Afer eating and chilling we went to the pub again, Ship Inn, then onto the Yewdale where it soon became evident that Robin was shitfaced! He was also very loud, Trel and me had to keep going outside for fear of getting our heads kicked in, we managed to convince Rob to get some food, so he went to the takeaway for chips and curry sauce, we went to the Black Bull, had a pint, ate about 5 bags of crisps then had to get back to our tents, with Robin "foghorn" Cook, We made it back and Robin and Matt went to bed, Me Steve and Trel sat up and had a beer, we went to the toilets and Steve had this great idea of getting into the girls toilets involving me acting as Steve's retarded brother, it was hysterical at the time but the one that nearly made me sick with laughter was Steve's suggestion to just go in, kick the door open, point and say, "I can see your fanny", not so funny in print on this blog, but Steve's silly voices and actions made the moment, pant wettingly funny. We got back and decided to turn in, Steve once again wasn't ready for bed so he cooked a tin of hot dog sausages in his tent.
Sunday:
Got up at 8am, I felt fantastic, the weather was scorching hot (typical) got everyone else up, and started packing my gear away (no hangover today, yeah baby). We packed the car, said goodbye to Steve and went to Ambleside for breakfast at Daisy's, I ordered, Sausage, egg, bacon, hash browns and mushrooms with a cup of tea, it came to £5.70, (thieving twats), the woman taking our order was a right moody bitch too! once brekkers was consumed and Trelly had managed to not regurgitate his breakfast all over me, we got back in the car for the journey home.
Woggzeh.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Oh it turns you on on, now he has gone, Oh what turns you on now your animal's gone?
Ok, I admit it, I am a twat!
The reason behind that statement is (not just that it's true) because I forgot about Britpop! Jof bought me a book for my birthday called, "The last Party" it's all about the rise and demise of Britpop circa 92-98, it's an unbelievable read!!! Basically it's a million little biography's about each band and how their lives affected each other and the connotations of life as a musical legend!
Reading the book has been a revelation to me and I've had the pleasure to rediscover the era that pretty much shaped my life, I started playing guitar to emulate my heroes and play their songs (then write better ones) the coolest part of it all though is that aside from the Blur / Oasis thing them two are the no brainers of Britpop, I've got right into Suede, I didn't really like Suede first time around, aside from a handful of songs, I just didn't like them, I thought Brett Anderson was a cunt (still do) but the music they made is nothing short of spectacular, Animal Nitrate being my new favourite song (for now), It's a bit of a pain finding the albums for download but I've got a few now, and this rediscovery of it makes me feel like a teenager again, Like I said to jof, I'm gonna go on a diet and buy some skinny rib t shirts, grow my hair long and live a life of Angst, Ok well we all know that's not gonna happen but it's still wikked.
I've never fallen out of love with Louise Wener and Sleeper are a fucking top band, but as I've tried to shy away from the obvious mainstream of Britpop, I've fallen for Justine Frischmann, I don't know what it is about her, but she's fit! I've missed out on her first time round, now I'm well into her, and she's a pretty cool lass from the sound of her in the book. Elasitca were another band I didn't really follow closely back in the day but I've got their album and I love it!! It's really strange and difficult to explain my sheer excitement about Britpop again, but I really loved the era and I feel I am back in that happy frame of mind that I forgot I ever experienced, you can keep your sex, and drugs and booze, just give me the music! the only problem with this 'high' that I'm on is that I know I'm going to come down when the music runs out, they don't make any good golden oldies any more, which means I'm eventually going to go back to being miserable, "was I miserable because I listened to pop music or did the pop music make me miserable?"
I advise all of you to read this book, if you were there on the scene and want some of that magic back, then go do it, or even try a watered down version and check out all the old school Britpop bands on you tube.
I'm going to Coniston next weekend, so I should have another update as soon as I get back, I still get a pat on the back from everyone for my last blog about camping, so lets hope the next one will be just as good.
P.S - Jof you fucking rock!
Watch the Video: Suede - Animal Nitrate.
The reason behind that statement is (not just that it's true) because I forgot about Britpop! Jof bought me a book for my birthday called, "The last Party" it's all about the rise and demise of Britpop circa 92-98, it's an unbelievable read!!! Basically it's a million little biography's about each band and how their lives affected each other and the connotations of life as a musical legend!
Reading the book has been a revelation to me and I've had the pleasure to rediscover the era that pretty much shaped my life, I started playing guitar to emulate my heroes and play their songs (then write better ones) the coolest part of it all though is that aside from the Blur / Oasis thing them two are the no brainers of Britpop, I've got right into Suede, I didn't really like Suede first time around, aside from a handful of songs, I just didn't like them, I thought Brett Anderson was a cunt (still do) but the music they made is nothing short of spectacular, Animal Nitrate being my new favourite song (for now), It's a bit of a pain finding the albums for download but I've got a few now, and this rediscovery of it makes me feel like a teenager again, Like I said to jof, I'm gonna go on a diet and buy some skinny rib t shirts, grow my hair long and live a life of Angst, Ok well we all know that's not gonna happen but it's still wikked.
I've never fallen out of love with Louise Wener and Sleeper are a fucking top band, but as I've tried to shy away from the obvious mainstream of Britpop, I've fallen for Justine Frischmann, I don't know what it is about her, but she's fit! I've missed out on her first time round, now I'm well into her, and she's a pretty cool lass from the sound of her in the book. Elasitca were another band I didn't really follow closely back in the day but I've got their album and I love it!! It's really strange and difficult to explain my sheer excitement about Britpop again, but I really loved the era and I feel I am back in that happy frame of mind that I forgot I ever experienced, you can keep your sex, and drugs and booze, just give me the music! the only problem with this 'high' that I'm on is that I know I'm going to come down when the music runs out, they don't make any good golden oldies any more, which means I'm eventually going to go back to being miserable, "was I miserable because I listened to pop music or did the pop music make me miserable?"
I advise all of you to read this book, if you were there on the scene and want some of that magic back, then go do it, or even try a watered down version and check out all the old school Britpop bands on you tube.
I'm going to Coniston next weekend, so I should have another update as soon as I get back, I still get a pat on the back from everyone for my last blog about camping, so lets hope the next one will be just as good.
P.S - Jof you fucking rock!
Watch the Video: Suede - Animal Nitrate.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini
Now then.
Well as most of you now, yesterday was my birthday and so we had a party in Leeds, I got to Dave's at about 6pm after getting the train early and had the usual nice greetings from Jof , Dave and Han, Was great to see Joffers again, not seen him in a few years, (he hasn't changed). Had a few beerses, whilst Hannah ironed my shirt, (she did a fantastic job of it too, I would never have got it looking that good, but then I am a man) then the rest of the gang turned up, Trelly, Robin, Matt, Paul and Eloise. We all had a few more beerses before heading out to the Tampopo restaurant, I already knew I was going to have the Pad Krapow because I've had it before so I ordered that and a beer, I was drinking quickly and then my meal came, they are fast there anyway, I needed another beer but I waited until everyone had got their food whilst tucking into my meal, when 'fuck me' I ate a chilli which burnt my fucking mouth out, I had no beer left so when I did get the lady's attention, I was rather rude in telling her to get a move on! anyway, I managed to eat the rest of my meal whilst my tongue was throbbing with third degree burns, but would you believe it, Trelly (who ordered the same as me) burnt his fucking gob on a chilli aswell! I do these things so you don't have to!
There was no sympathy there from me, I didn't get any fucking sympathy so I'm not gonna give any!
Moving on after there we went to a bar I think it was called Henrys but I'm probably wrong, the place was heaving, or so we thought, in fact everyone was just crammed at the bar near the doorway so we managed to get seats at the back, had a good natter then some girls joined us, which I was promptly very rude to once one of them questioned my age, "really, you look older" she said screwing up her face, "clearly not as old as you though bitch" was my reply, she seemed to take it in good spirits and gave me a birthday kiss which is always nice even if it was from some rum old slapper.
It was about 11pm at this stage and Trelly, Paul and Eloise decided to get the nightbus back to Harrogate so they left, we had another drink then decided to goto the elbow rooms, Robin and Matt didn't fancy it so they went and had their own fun, I believe they ended up in Jongulars.
We played some pool (I lost every match I was involved in) then after an hour the lights went out so we returned the balls and found out that it cost £9.00 an hour just to play on the stupid fucking American pool tables, "At least Dick Turpin wears a mask, that's fucking scandalous" I told the barman before being told not to start, so I didn't start. we sat down with our drinks and chatted then I threw Jofs Cider all over me for some stupid reason, but as a general rule, I usually end up wearing a drink or someone else ends up wearing the contents of my stomach!
We left at about 2am and moseyed back to Dave's, a movement I can't actually remember, then we were going to play jenga but that never happened so we chatted for a bit before turning in, I nicked the spare bed after giving Jof the option of it, I knew full well he'd be too polite to take the bed so he slept on the mattress in the front room. I awoke at about 10:45am then tried to get back to sleep but it was a futile effort so I got up for a piss expecting to be the last one up, but no, everyone was still asleep so I ran back to my room jumped into bed, buried my head into the pillows and tried to get an extra minute of sleep, because I knew everyone would be up soon, it didn't work so I lay in bed contemplating what I was going to write in my blog, about an hour later I got up and decided to wake Jof.
eventually everyone was up and all nursing hangovers, Hannah cooked breakfast, a proper fry up, it was bloody good too! once all that was eaten, it was time to check the train times, I had 40 minutes till the next one, so I got dressed and said my goodbyes and set off, I nearly got on the train to Birmingham but managed to jump off when I realised my mistake, anyway, I had a good journey home reading the book that Jof had got me for my birthday (thanks man), and that pretty much brings us up to date. All in all it was a fantastic night, so thanks to everyone who came.
Woggzeh
Well as most of you now, yesterday was my birthday and so we had a party in Leeds, I got to Dave's at about 6pm after getting the train early and had the usual nice greetings from Jof , Dave and Han, Was great to see Joffers again, not seen him in a few years, (he hasn't changed). Had a few beerses, whilst Hannah ironed my shirt, (she did a fantastic job of it too, I would never have got it looking that good, but then I am a man) then the rest of the gang turned up, Trelly, Robin, Matt, Paul and Eloise. We all had a few more beerses before heading out to the Tampopo restaurant, I already knew I was going to have the Pad Krapow because I've had it before so I ordered that and a beer, I was drinking quickly and then my meal came, they are fast there anyway, I needed another beer but I waited until everyone had got their food whilst tucking into my meal, when 'fuck me' I ate a chilli which burnt my fucking mouth out, I had no beer left so when I did get the lady's attention, I was rather rude in telling her to get a move on! anyway, I managed to eat the rest of my meal whilst my tongue was throbbing with third degree burns, but would you believe it, Trelly (who ordered the same as me) burnt his fucking gob on a chilli aswell! I do these things so you don't have to!
There was no sympathy there from me, I didn't get any fucking sympathy so I'm not gonna give any!
Moving on after there we went to a bar I think it was called Henrys but I'm probably wrong, the place was heaving, or so we thought, in fact everyone was just crammed at the bar near the doorway so we managed to get seats at the back, had a good natter then some girls joined us, which I was promptly very rude to once one of them questioned my age, "really, you look older" she said screwing up her face, "clearly not as old as you though bitch" was my reply, she seemed to take it in good spirits and gave me a birthday kiss which is always nice even if it was from some rum old slapper.
It was about 11pm at this stage and Trelly, Paul and Eloise decided to get the nightbus back to Harrogate so they left, we had another drink then decided to goto the elbow rooms, Robin and Matt didn't fancy it so they went and had their own fun, I believe they ended up in Jongulars.
We played some pool (I lost every match I was involved in) then after an hour the lights went out so we returned the balls and found out that it cost £9.00 an hour just to play on the stupid fucking American pool tables, "At least Dick Turpin wears a mask, that's fucking scandalous" I told the barman before being told not to start, so I didn't start. we sat down with our drinks and chatted then I threw Jofs Cider all over me for some stupid reason, but as a general rule, I usually end up wearing a drink or someone else ends up wearing the contents of my stomach!
We left at about 2am and moseyed back to Dave's, a movement I can't actually remember, then we were going to play jenga but that never happened so we chatted for a bit before turning in, I nicked the spare bed after giving Jof the option of it, I knew full well he'd be too polite to take the bed so he slept on the mattress in the front room. I awoke at about 10:45am then tried to get back to sleep but it was a futile effort so I got up for a piss expecting to be the last one up, but no, everyone was still asleep so I ran back to my room jumped into bed, buried my head into the pillows and tried to get an extra minute of sleep, because I knew everyone would be up soon, it didn't work so I lay in bed contemplating what I was going to write in my blog, about an hour later I got up and decided to wake Jof.
eventually everyone was up and all nursing hangovers, Hannah cooked breakfast, a proper fry up, it was bloody good too! once all that was eaten, it was time to check the train times, I had 40 minutes till the next one, so I got dressed and said my goodbyes and set off, I nearly got on the train to Birmingham but managed to jump off when I realised my mistake, anyway, I had a good journey home reading the book that Jof had got me for my birthday (thanks man), and that pretty much brings us up to date. All in all it was a fantastic night, so thanks to everyone who came.
Woggzeh
Monday, July 02, 2007
Hey love how are you fixed, We’ll meet at ten past now it’s quarter to six
Peoples,
just got back from the docs, for those who don't know I've had alot of blood 'escaping' every time I've been for a shit this weekend so I went to get it checked out, To be honest, it wasn't as scary as I expected it to be, the doctor made me lie on the bed in a foetal position and he kept talking me through what he was doing, then he said, "relax I just have to explore the anal cavity just relax and try not to be tense" , "fucks sake" sprang into my mind but you know, 'when in Rome' so I tried to relax as best I could and you know what, I blanked out and recalled the whole video of Sleepers 'Nice Guy Eddie' I didn't pass out or anything but my mind just went fucking A.W.O.L which I'm kind of grateful for, when the doctor finished his inspection and I was dressed again, I was expecting the worst, I.B.S, Crohn's disease even Cancer, you know what the doc said?, "you've got a little tear in your anus that's causing the bleeding, nothing to worry about", I tell you now I could have kissed the fucker at that moment, then realised how much of a cunt I must have looked going to a doctor declaring that he'd better get the death certificates at the ready because I'm a gonner. but he told me I definitely did the right thing in visiting him because it could have been something nasty. this post isn't really an update it's more of me telling you that you shouldn't be scared of the doctor concerning delicate matters, it's not as scary as you think.
I would like to leave you now with something that really helped me, it's Sleeper 'Nice Guy Eddie'
come to think of it, I actually fancy the pants off Louise Wener, my god I pray I didn't get an erection!
just got back from the docs, for those who don't know I've had alot of blood 'escaping' every time I've been for a shit this weekend so I went to get it checked out, To be honest, it wasn't as scary as I expected it to be, the doctor made me lie on the bed in a foetal position and he kept talking me through what he was doing, then he said, "relax I just have to explore the anal cavity just relax and try not to be tense" , "fucks sake" sprang into my mind but you know, 'when in Rome' so I tried to relax as best I could and you know what, I blanked out and recalled the whole video of Sleepers 'Nice Guy Eddie' I didn't pass out or anything but my mind just went fucking A.W.O.L which I'm kind of grateful for, when the doctor finished his inspection and I was dressed again, I was expecting the worst, I.B.S, Crohn's disease even Cancer, you know what the doc said?, "you've got a little tear in your anus that's causing the bleeding, nothing to worry about", I tell you now I could have kissed the fucker at that moment, then realised how much of a cunt I must have looked going to a doctor declaring that he'd better get the death certificates at the ready because I'm a gonner. but he told me I definitely did the right thing in visiting him because it could have been something nasty. this post isn't really an update it's more of me telling you that you shouldn't be scared of the doctor concerning delicate matters, it's not as scary as you think.
I would like to leave you now with something that really helped me, it's Sleeper 'Nice Guy Eddie'
come to think of it, I actually fancy the pants off Louise Wener, my god I pray I didn't get an erection!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Its Monday morning 5:19, and I'm still wondering where she's been, cos every time I try to call I just get her machine.
Hey people, hows tricks?
second things first, it's been over a year since the name that tune, (I know I called it spot the song) competition was launched on my blog and was won by Joffers, well now it's time for a new one, so name all the songs and artist from May 20th, try not to use Google, that's cheating, get as many as you can off the top of your head, ask friends then when all else fails, use google, and post your answers, all the correct answers will go into a hat and I'll be pulling out a winner in time for next post, (I'm guessing only one person will play the game, but it's in the interest of fairness that I make it available to everyone).
First things second,
since the last post I've bought myself a snooker cue, it's a pretty sweet one too, cost me £40 and was reduced from £80 so I consider that a bargain, the reason for buying the cue, (not just because I'm ace) is that Robin and Myself have joined the Bilton Snooker and Billiards Social Club on Skipton road, (next to the Jehovas witness hall) we aim to be competent, but it's looking a long way off at the moment, never mind, everyone has to start somewhere.
I've finished the contract at Bolton and got a shit load of scrap, so I'll be going to weigh that in next week as I have the week off due to not having any contracts ready, bit of a shitter 'cos I don't get paid, but it gives me time to get down the snooker hall and put in some much needed practice.
Been out on the lash with Robin and Matt last week and it was another ace affair, we were out with Stacey and Charlie (mighty mighty boobs) celebrating Stacey's birthday, went to the general pubs and supped and ended up in Carringtons, that's where it all goes a bit 'hazy' , Charlie was plying me with sambukas, which I hate but she was paying! then I did some dancing then some more drinking, then ended up with Charlie's bra on my head, (Matt said I looked like a giant fly - which I think is ace) before getting off with Charlie (clearly I was REALLY drunk by this stage) then left the club at 4am with Matt and Rob and the girls, god knows what I said to them and it's probably best that I can't remember. Saturday was bit of a non-event, went to a B.B.Q down Jim and Gills but felt like shit, so I came home, tried to go to Trels and managed about an hour so at about 9:30 I went home, bath then bed.
Sunday I felt great!
Other news is that Paul has got engaged to Eloise (is that how it's spelt?) so congrats to him and her , I wish them all the best for the future.
gonna go listen to some Rialto now, I still profess they are a fucking top band, I expect you to agree with me too on this matter it's non negotiable, then hopefully Rob will message me back and we'll head off 'down to the social' for a few frames of snooker, then it's out on the lash tonight with Matt and Rob and Stacey and Charlie, (sucker for punishment).
have a good weekend people.
don't forget the competition.
Woggzeh
second things first, it's been over a year since the name that tune, (I know I called it spot the song) competition was launched on my blog and was won by Joffers, well now it's time for a new one, so name all the songs and artist from May 20th, try not to use Google, that's cheating, get as many as you can off the top of your head, ask friends then when all else fails, use google, and post your answers, all the correct answers will go into a hat and I'll be pulling out a winner in time for next post, (I'm guessing only one person will play the game, but it's in the interest of fairness that I make it available to everyone).
First things second,
since the last post I've bought myself a snooker cue, it's a pretty sweet one too, cost me £40 and was reduced from £80 so I consider that a bargain, the reason for buying the cue, (not just because I'm ace) is that Robin and Myself have joined the Bilton Snooker and Billiards Social Club on Skipton road, (next to the Jehovas witness hall) we aim to be competent, but it's looking a long way off at the moment, never mind, everyone has to start somewhere.
I've finished the contract at Bolton and got a shit load of scrap, so I'll be going to weigh that in next week as I have the week off due to not having any contracts ready, bit of a shitter 'cos I don't get paid, but it gives me time to get down the snooker hall and put in some much needed practice.
Been out on the lash with Robin and Matt last week and it was another ace affair, we were out with Stacey and Charlie (mighty mighty boobs) celebrating Stacey's birthday, went to the general pubs and supped and ended up in Carringtons, that's where it all goes a bit 'hazy' , Charlie was plying me with sambukas, which I hate but she was paying! then I did some dancing then some more drinking, then ended up with Charlie's bra on my head, (Matt said I looked like a giant fly - which I think is ace) before getting off with Charlie (clearly I was REALLY drunk by this stage) then left the club at 4am with Matt and Rob and the girls, god knows what I said to them and it's probably best that I can't remember. Saturday was bit of a non-event, went to a B.B.Q down Jim and Gills but felt like shit, so I came home, tried to go to Trels and managed about an hour so at about 9:30 I went home, bath then bed.
Sunday I felt great!
Other news is that Paul has got engaged to Eloise (is that how it's spelt?) so congrats to him and her , I wish them all the best for the future.
gonna go listen to some Rialto now, I still profess they are a fucking top band, I expect you to agree with me too on this matter it's non negotiable, then hopefully Rob will message me back and we'll head off 'down to the social' for a few frames of snooker, then it's out on the lash tonight with Matt and Rob and Stacey and Charlie, (sucker for punishment).
have a good weekend people.
don't forget the competition.
Woggzeh
Monday, May 28, 2007
Pot the reds then, screw back for the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black, Snooker loopy nuts are we, we're all snooker loopy
Hello, an update a month, how do I manage to find the time I hear you cry.
The truth is I am a very busy person/man/child/thing and I just cannot update every week and so as I have a spare 5 minutes to myself and I'm bored and there's nothing on the t.v, I thought I'd say toodle ooh to you!
so the usual spiel, work, work, work, moan, moan, moan, I'm bitter and twisted about something and it's the worlds fault! Now that's out of the way I can continue to report that all is fine and dandy in my world, I've been out playing snooker with Robin and I'm clearly the better player as I beat him 3-1 today and last time we played I beat him 4-0 so watch out O'Sullivan! AND I WAS PLAYING WITH A BENT CUE!! honestly, my cue today was like a banana.
Went out on Thursday night for Karaoke with Robin and Matt and we kicked ass! the DJ thought we were professional singers, but he didn't say anything like, he just gave a knowing look when we were done.
Stacey came out to play that night too, she's fantastic, looks great, is great and if I carry on like this I'll get a smack off her brother Lee.
Speaking of whom, hope you're o.k mate, I know I keep ringing you but I'm usually a bit tipsy when I call so I can't quite remember what I said, or much else for that matter, It's the same with Jof too, except he rings me and announces his undying love and admiration for me. Then sends me text messages in code, (it's not code, we converse through song titles, mainly the titles of the songs that we have written, which isn't easy since two of mine are 'Tonight' and 'Baby it's you', yeah you get the picture, that's one gay message!)
Went out on Saturday night with Rob and Matt again, ended up in Carringtons, saw loads of people I knew and spoke to the ones who didn't spot me first and run away, I got a bit tipsy, Matt got wasted, all well and good, saw Stacey which was lovely, that's all I'll say about Stacey because, as I said, Lee reads this blog.
I'm working in Bolton and that's about all I have left to say, the price of Aluminium and Copper are sky high at the moment so if you have any scrap metals then get 'em weighed in. where there's muck there's brass!
take care people, till next time,
Woggzeh,
P.S - I'd just like to point you to a video on you tube of the McParty musical, He wants to be the next big internet sensation so I told him I'd send it up, anyway, have a butchers (it's just over a minute long) if you hate it there's a link to his blog with the rest of my links, just go there and say, "fuckin' booooooooooooooooo" or something.
Wibbly wogg
The truth is I am a very busy person/man/child/thing and I just cannot update every week and so as I have a spare 5 minutes to myself and I'm bored and there's nothing on the t.v, I thought I'd say toodle ooh to you!
so the usual spiel, work, work, work, moan, moan, moan, I'm bitter and twisted about something and it's the worlds fault! Now that's out of the way I can continue to report that all is fine and dandy in my world, I've been out playing snooker with Robin and I'm clearly the better player as I beat him 3-1 today and last time we played I beat him 4-0 so watch out O'Sullivan! AND I WAS PLAYING WITH A BENT CUE!! honestly, my cue today was like a banana.
Went out on Thursday night for Karaoke with Robin and Matt and we kicked ass! the DJ thought we were professional singers, but he didn't say anything like, he just gave a knowing look when we were done.
Stacey came out to play that night too, she's fantastic, looks great, is great and if I carry on like this I'll get a smack off her brother Lee.
Speaking of whom, hope you're o.k mate, I know I keep ringing you but I'm usually a bit tipsy when I call so I can't quite remember what I said, or much else for that matter, It's the same with Jof too, except he rings me and announces his undying love and admiration for me. Then sends me text messages in code, (it's not code, we converse through song titles, mainly the titles of the songs that we have written, which isn't easy since two of mine are 'Tonight' and 'Baby it's you', yeah you get the picture, that's one gay message!)
Went out on Saturday night with Rob and Matt again, ended up in Carringtons, saw loads of people I knew and spoke to the ones who didn't spot me first and run away, I got a bit tipsy, Matt got wasted, all well and good, saw Stacey which was lovely, that's all I'll say about Stacey because, as I said, Lee reads this blog.
I'm working in Bolton and that's about all I have left to say, the price of Aluminium and Copper are sky high at the moment so if you have any scrap metals then get 'em weighed in. where there's muck there's brass!
take care people, till next time,
Woggzeh,
P.S - I'd just like to point you to a video on you tube of the McParty musical, He wants to be the next big internet sensation so I told him I'd send it up, anyway, have a butchers (it's just over a minute long) if you hate it there's a link to his blog with the rest of my links, just go there and say, "fuckin' booooooooooooooooo" or something.
Wibbly wogg
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Look into my tired eyes, See someone you don't recognise, Blinds that can't be untied, Oh this is slow suicide.
Hey people.
Time for an update, mainly because I was watching Have I Got News For You, and I almost died with laughter at this clip, honestly, I completely fell apart, I finally found it on 'youtube' after a frantic search I found nothing until Trelly suggested going back to basics and type 'floating dog', "that's never gonna work dumbass" I replied and here it is, the result for the search, 'floating dog'.
Made me look a cunt anyway!
so I've been working at H.M.P Lincoln and it's a bloody scary place, I really had the jitters the first few days, there's something unnerving about being locked in and having to be guided round, I tell you, the reality really hits home when you hear those gates and doors slamming behind you, I'm used to it now like, I guess I've become institutionalised!
Whilst on the job I managed to fuck my back up, I had to go to the hospital and was treated for sciatica, I don't think it is that but I had a few days off to rest then went back to work and took it really easy, no lifting, just prepping, easy stuff.
I joined Facebook since we last spoke and it's fucking cool, better than myspace, I've found loads of old friends and old friends have found me, I bet they are so happy to have me back in their lives after so much freedom! nah, it's really cool to hear that everyone I've ever known is still ok and are doing much better than me, (ok that's a bitter pill to swallow but I'm a jealous child inside!)
Have any of you seen peep show, I've never watched it before so as the 4th series was starting up on the tv I decided to see what all the fuss was about and I think it's funny as fuck. It's brilliant observation comedy, I found myself thinking 'it's funny because it's true'. yeah enough about that, watch it.
Villa have just beaten Man city which is ace because my brother in law is a city fan and now I have bragging rights, we've not beaten them in about 4 seasons, they became our bogey team, not any more though, victory is mine and I'm gonna make him suffer.
On a happier note Leeds Utd have been relegated into the first division, Well they can still stay up if they beat Derby next week by a scoreline of about 15 - 0, but we all know that won't happen, nice try though, they battled hard but I can safely say, 'I told you so' to anyone who is smaller than me and doesn't look threatening.
well, fuck it, I'm gonna enjoy the snooker , hope you are al;l well, leave me some messages.
Woggzeh.
P.S Leeeeeeeeee get in touch, wanna know what you're doing, you never answer your phone, I wasted a quid in the phone box because of you!
Time for an update, mainly because I was watching Have I Got News For You, and I almost died with laughter at this clip, honestly, I completely fell apart, I finally found it on 'youtube' after a frantic search I found nothing until Trelly suggested going back to basics and type 'floating dog', "that's never gonna work dumbass" I replied and here it is, the result for the search, 'floating dog'.
Made me look a cunt anyway!
so I've been working at H.M.P Lincoln and it's a bloody scary place, I really had the jitters the first few days, there's something unnerving about being locked in and having to be guided round, I tell you, the reality really hits home when you hear those gates and doors slamming behind you, I'm used to it now like, I guess I've become institutionalised!
Whilst on the job I managed to fuck my back up, I had to go to the hospital and was treated for sciatica, I don't think it is that but I had a few days off to rest then went back to work and took it really easy, no lifting, just prepping, easy stuff.
I joined Facebook since we last spoke and it's fucking cool, better than myspace, I've found loads of old friends and old friends have found me, I bet they are so happy to have me back in their lives after so much freedom! nah, it's really cool to hear that everyone I've ever known is still ok and are doing much better than me, (ok that's a bitter pill to swallow but I'm a jealous child inside!)
Have any of you seen peep show, I've never watched it before so as the 4th series was starting up on the tv I decided to see what all the fuss was about and I think it's funny as fuck. It's brilliant observation comedy, I found myself thinking 'it's funny because it's true'. yeah enough about that, watch it.
Villa have just beaten Man city which is ace because my brother in law is a city fan and now I have bragging rights, we've not beaten them in about 4 seasons, they became our bogey team, not any more though, victory is mine and I'm gonna make him suffer.
On a happier note Leeds Utd have been relegated into the first division, Well they can still stay up if they beat Derby next week by a scoreline of about 15 - 0, but we all know that won't happen, nice try though, they battled hard but I can safely say, 'I told you so' to anyone who is smaller than me and doesn't look threatening.
well, fuck it, I'm gonna enjoy the snooker , hope you are al;l well, leave me some messages.
Woggzeh.
P.S Leeeeeeeeee get in touch, wanna know what you're doing, you never answer your phone, I wasted a quid in the phone box because of you!
Friday, April 13, 2007
I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door.
Hello peoples,
I've not blogged in ages and I am actually thinking of giving it up, I can't be arsed to do it because nothing interesting ever happens and and well, and!!
The short story's too, I think it was just a phase I was going through one hour, stupid idea, I'm quite proud that I achieved in actually writing a short story or two but what now, I didn't win any awards and only two people actually fucking read the things so that was comforting to know that only two people know I have no chance of ever becoming a novelist, not that I actually ever had that in my 'things to do list' it's just.. you know, fuck it.
As you can probably tell by now, I am in a great mood and I couldn't be happier, I think the world needs more cynical, skeptical egotistic, misanthropist, misogamist, Pessimistic pieces of shit like me to make it worthwhile.
While I'm here can I just fucking tell you how annoying mozilla firefox is at the moment, I have a fucking American spell checker on, I don't know how to turn the fucker off and I can seem to get an English one, fucking wank!
Anyone watched that Hotel Babylon? it's finished now but it was really good, nuff said.
I'm drinking alot of oxo at the moment, I really like the chicken ones and the vegetable ones, I drink about 4-5 cups a day and I swear to you, I've had to put another notch in my belt because I think I've lost a few inches around my hips, (fucking hell I sound like some faggotty weight watcher) anyway, I can show you my belt as proof, the beer gut is still protruding like some kind of mountain for which my todger can hide under.
I saw a great film the other day called Deja vu, with Denzil Washington, yeah fucking good, watch it, I won't spoil it for you but it's good.
well, I'm bored now gonna go make myself a vegetable oxo now and do something, I think M*A*S*H ("the all singing, all dancing show set in space" was Bullough description of a show who's acronym stands for Mobile Army Service Hospital!) should be on tv someplace I think it has a channel where you can watch it all day, Top Gear does, it's called UKTV.
Woggzeh
EDIT**
within 3 minutes of this update I had Trelly pop up on messenger telling me how to change the spell checker. thanks man!
I've not blogged in ages and I am actually thinking of giving it up, I can't be arsed to do it because nothing interesting ever happens and and well, and!!
The short story's too, I think it was just a phase I was going through one hour, stupid idea, I'm quite proud that I achieved in actually writing a short story or two but what now, I didn't win any awards and only two people actually fucking read the things so that was comforting to know that only two people know I have no chance of ever becoming a novelist, not that I actually ever had that in my 'things to do list' it's just.. you know, fuck it.
As you can probably tell by now, I am in a great mood and I couldn't be happier, I think the world needs more cynical, skeptical egotistic, misanthropist, misogamist, Pessimistic pieces of shit like me to make it worthwhile.
While I'm here can I just fucking tell you how annoying mozilla firefox is at the moment, I have a fucking American spell checker on, I don't know how to turn the fucker off and I can seem to get an English one, fucking wank!
Anyone watched that Hotel Babylon? it's finished now but it was really good, nuff said.
I'm drinking alot of oxo at the moment, I really like the chicken ones and the vegetable ones, I drink about 4-5 cups a day and I swear to you, I've had to put another notch in my belt because I think I've lost a few inches around my hips, (fucking hell I sound like some faggotty weight watcher) anyway, I can show you my belt as proof, the beer gut is still protruding like some kind of mountain for which my todger can hide under.
I saw a great film the other day called Deja vu, with Denzil Washington, yeah fucking good, watch it, I won't spoil it for you but it's good.
well, I'm bored now gonna go make myself a vegetable oxo now and do something, I think M*A*S*H ("the all singing, all dancing show set in space" was Bullough description of a show who's acronym stands for Mobile Army Service Hospital!) should be on tv someplace I think it has a channel where you can watch it all day, Top Gear does, it's called UKTV.
Woggzeh
EDIT**
within 3 minutes of this update I had Trelly pop up on messenger telling me how to change the spell checker. thanks man!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Through early morning fog I see, visions of the things to be, the pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see...
Hello people.
Time for an update, Although I really do think I need to start carrying a diary around with me as I can't remember fuck all these days, I don't have a clue what I've done, Maybe it's some kind of early dementia?
I remember on March 10th going out in Leeds for Bullough's birthday, that was fun, we wnt for a meal and I had Pad Krapow, it was bloody tasty and I can certainly recco0mend it, I'd have it again:
Pad Krapow –Thailand - Spicy
Prawns or chicken breast quick fried with hot red chillies, fresh Asian basil and red pepper
Chicken £6.95
Time for an update, Although I really do think I need to start carrying a diary around with me as I can't remember fuck all these days, I don't have a clue what I've done, Maybe it's some kind of early dementia?
I remember on March 10th going out in Leeds for Bullough's birthday, that was fun, we wnt for a meal and I had Pad Krapow, it was bloody tasty and I can certainly recco0mend it, I'd have it again:
Pad Krapow –Thailand - Spicy
Prawns or chicken breast quick fried with hot red chillies, fresh Asian basil and red pepper
Chicken £6.95
After we had all eaten, (Trelly actually ate his whole meal using chopsticks) we went in search of a pub, Dave wanted to take us to Elbow rooms but there was a queue and it cost a million quid to get in and there were no guarantees of getting a game of pool, so we went to another pub, one with out a pool table! no problems, the alcohol was a welcome distraction. We got the night bus home and that was pretty much that.
I worked in Blackburn all week, which was nice. then on Saturday, it was St Patrick's day so we went out for a few cheeky pints, Dave and Han came over from Leeds and although it wasn't the greatest nights out ever, it was still nice to see Dave and Han.
Sunday saw mothers day and my Niece's Christening, not a bad day, was a good reception, I spent most of the time with my uncle Jeff and we got pissed!
My short story seemed to go down a bomb, I had two whole people read it and leave comments, both agreeing that I am in someway sick and twisted. Believe me, that was the edited version! I made my self sick with the original!!!
Well you'll be pleased to know that I have written another (really) short story, I suppose I should give up writing stories but it helps to pass the time. Maybe I'll eventually write a cracker and Jof will get jealous, ( I can do it musically, so why not do it using literature?)
Anyway, I'm fucking off now, if you want to read my new story, entitled, "A Reminder of Mortality" then click the link, if you read it then please leave a comment. if you can't be arsed to read it, then fair game, I probably wouldn't read it either.
See you later peoples,
Woggzeh
A Reminder of Mortality
Sunday saw mothers day and my Niece's Christening, not a bad day, was a good reception, I spent most of the time with my uncle Jeff and we got pissed!
My short story seemed to go down a bomb, I had two whole people read it and leave comments, both agreeing that I am in someway sick and twisted. Believe me, that was the edited version! I made my self sick with the original!!!
Well you'll be pleased to know that I have written another (really) short story, I suppose I should give up writing stories but it helps to pass the time. Maybe I'll eventually write a cracker and Jof will get jealous, ( I can do it musically, so why not do it using literature?)
Anyway, I'm fucking off now, if you want to read my new story, entitled, "A Reminder of Mortality" then click the link, if you read it then please leave a comment. if you can't be arsed to read it, then fair game, I probably wouldn't read it either.
See you later peoples,
Woggzeh
A Reminder of Mortality
Friday, March 02, 2007
In the midday sun, They beat on the drum, When Poppa Joe comes to town,
Hello peoples.
Just a quickie to let you all know that I have set up another blog site in which I will be blogging my short stories (of which I have written one, but I hope to do a few more) I will be releasing them into the world one page at a time, I would appreciate feedback but if you're gonna say it's shite then fuck off, I don't need your opinion, (kidding, I need to know what you think). Well here's the link to Woggzeh's Short Stories, I hope you enjoy.
Woggzeh's Short Stories
Just a quickie to let you all know that I have set up another blog site in which I will be blogging my short stories (of which I have written one, but I hope to do a few more) I will be releasing them into the world one page at a time, I would appreciate feedback but if you're gonna say it's shite then fuck off, I don't need your opinion, (kidding, I need to know what you think). Well here's the link to Woggzeh's Short Stories, I hope you enjoy.
Woggzeh's Short Stories
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Take me in your arms again, lead me in my dreams again, What is it worth? , Ill sell my soul, what is it worth? Only you know
Hello people it's been a month since the last update and I actually feared there would be no February update at all, Mainly due to my laziness and also down to my internet connection being switched off.
So how are we all? I must say I'm slightly disappointed that no one has moaned at me for an update, lazy fuckers. I don't actually think anyone reads this anymore so I can say what I like.
fukky fukky wank wank, wank wank fuck!
Hahaha that was fun.
This blogger has updated in some way, I'm not actually sure what they've done but I had to sign in using my Google email account and it's no longer the Beta version, other than that there is no difference to the page that I'm typing on, unless it will crash the whole fucking blog when I click the publish button, but then you'll never know 'cos it wont be published and I'll smash something.
Did anyone see that Top Gear episode t'other week where they did a fly-drive trip to America?, well for those of you who missed it, tough shit, it was the funniest Top Gear episode I have ever seen, so for those who watched it and agree that it was hilarious, say nothing in the comments just nod your head knowingly at the screen as you read this, for those of you who missed it and also managed to miss the repeat then SHAME ON YOU! now you'll never know.
I've been watching Al Murray's Happy Hour chat show that's on the telebox every week and that's hilarious too - Nuff said.
Baby Abby (my niece) is doing fine, she's now a month old and growing up very healthy and quickly and never fails to make me laugh when she projectile vomits all over my sister.
I've got chicken for dinner, that's sure to be good, I've actually run out of things to say, I didn't even come on here to do an update it just kinda happened.
So
Cya all later
Woggzeh
So how are we all? I must say I'm slightly disappointed that no one has moaned at me for an update, lazy fuckers. I don't actually think anyone reads this anymore so I can say what I like.
fukky fukky wank wank, wank wank fuck!
Hahaha that was fun.
This blogger has updated in some way, I'm not actually sure what they've done but I had to sign in using my Google email account and it's no longer the Beta version, other than that there is no difference to the page that I'm typing on, unless it will crash the whole fucking blog when I click the publish button, but then you'll never know 'cos it wont be published and I'll smash something.
Did anyone see that Top Gear episode t'other week where they did a fly-drive trip to America?, well for those of you who missed it, tough shit, it was the funniest Top Gear episode I have ever seen, so for those who watched it and agree that it was hilarious, say nothing in the comments just nod your head knowingly at the screen as you read this, for those of you who missed it and also managed to miss the repeat then SHAME ON YOU! now you'll never know.
I've been watching Al Murray's Happy Hour chat show that's on the telebox every week and that's hilarious too - Nuff said.
Baby Abby (my niece) is doing fine, she's now a month old and growing up very healthy and quickly and never fails to make me laugh when she projectile vomits all over my sister.
I've got chicken for dinner, that's sure to be good, I've actually run out of things to say, I didn't even come on here to do an update it just kinda happened.
So
Cya all later
Woggzeh
Thursday, January 25, 2007
I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky, I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like.
My sister has given birth to a 7lb 10oz beautiful baby girl and has named her Abigail Jennifer Lynn Ames, the middle names are the names of Helen and Daryl's (my sister and brother in law) mothers names. She is healthy and everything is fine, the only problem is that she looks like she has been in a fight because as she was being born she got a little stuck so the doctors had to use forceps to help her out this caused a little scratch on her forehead that looks nasty but will clear up soon enough and she has some bruising to the face but it doesn't matter. I'm finally an uncle and I'm happy too, which is a first for me. I like the picture because that is my Niece holding my hand there. AWWWWW, not gonna bore everyone with the baby photos, I made a flickr account so Daryl's family in America can see the baby before they come over to England. If anyone wants the URL then give me a nod.
Moff to get pissed! or whetting the baby's head as others would call it.
Uncle Wogg
Monday, January 22, 2007
Untouchable, if I'm not fit to even crawl if I'm too sick, I'll soak my skin in alcohol until I feel untouchable.
Thanks for the prompting Joffers, twas time for an update, however I can hardly fathom the idea that you are 13 times better than me, (I would have thought it be more) so your life is far more exciting than mine and you've managed to blog 13 times more often than me, well done, while you have been sat at your computer updating your life, I have been out having too much fun to even get near a computer to blog the days events. (Sadly, if you believe me then you are a fool, I've done fuck all but been too lazy to make my fingers create words for you to read).
So
Well Happy New Year, and I hope you had a good Christmas, I had a great time over the festive period, spent quite alot, which makes me wonder how much Chris Barker spent because he was always at the bar with his card paying for drinks, and if he wasn't at the bar, then I was at the bar with his card paying for drinks. (seriously, his signature is a joke) Had lots of fun though. then it was back to work.
I was was really poorly last week and had sickness and the shits and even managed to throw up blood, which was nice and scary enough to make me call the doctor out, it was nowt to worry about but you never know with these things. I once threw up after drinking loads of cherryade and that looked like blood too, but I knew it wasn't blood because I could taste cherrys.
My sister has been quite poorly with a liver problem and because she is due to give birth any minute now, she has been taken to hospital and has been induced, so hopefully, fingers crossed, I'll be an uncle in a day or so.
Lindsay (Lees bird) has gone back to Australia (they pronounce it Austraya because they are lazy), gonna miss her loads because she was a right fucking laugh and could always be relied upon to fall over! (remember walking back from Asda and you had a sudden desire to kiss the road and you hurted your knee? Do you know how hard it was not to laugh! I nearly choked on my B.L.T) but as it is all good things must come to an end and she has flown back to Australia. I just hope she remembers to tell everyone how shit and horrible it is over here, I don't want all of them visiting!
Just before New Year he had ourselves a hanging, yes, Mr Saddam Hussein was hanged by his neck until dead, I shouldn't revel in his demise but, fuck me, it couldn't have happend to a nicer man. It's a pity he's not a Christmas decoration so we could hang him again this year. (don't fucking complain to me if you don't like the gags - yes that was a gag)
Well that's all I'm gonna blog, just for you Jof, no-one else reads this tripe.
Toodle ooh
Woggzeh - if I ever get a wig you can call me Wiggzeh
So
Well Happy New Year, and I hope you had a good Christmas, I had a great time over the festive period, spent quite alot, which makes me wonder how much Chris Barker spent because he was always at the bar with his card paying for drinks, and if he wasn't at the bar, then I was at the bar with his card paying for drinks. (seriously, his signature is a joke) Had lots of fun though. then it was back to work.
I was was really poorly last week and had sickness and the shits and even managed to throw up blood, which was nice and scary enough to make me call the doctor out, it was nowt to worry about but you never know with these things. I once threw up after drinking loads of cherryade and that looked like blood too, but I knew it wasn't blood because I could taste cherrys.
My sister has been quite poorly with a liver problem and because she is due to give birth any minute now, she has been taken to hospital and has been induced, so hopefully, fingers crossed, I'll be an uncle in a day or so.
Lindsay (Lees bird) has gone back to Australia (they pronounce it Austraya because they are lazy), gonna miss her loads because she was a right fucking laugh and could always be relied upon to fall over! (remember walking back from Asda and you had a sudden desire to kiss the road and you hurted your knee? Do you know how hard it was not to laugh! I nearly choked on my B.L.T) but as it is all good things must come to an end and she has flown back to Australia. I just hope she remembers to tell everyone how shit and horrible it is over here, I don't want all of them visiting!
Just before New Year he had ourselves a hanging, yes, Mr Saddam Hussein was hanged by his neck until dead, I shouldn't revel in his demise but, fuck me, it couldn't have happend to a nicer man. It's a pity he's not a Christmas decoration so we could hang him again this year. (don't fucking complain to me if you don't like the gags - yes that was a gag)
Well that's all I'm gonna blog, just for you Jof, no-one else reads this tripe.
Toodle ooh
Woggzeh - if I ever get a wig you can call me Wiggzeh
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
So here it is, Merry Christmas everybodys having fun, Look to the future now, it's only just begun.
Hello people, It's about time you had an update, it's been about a month since the last one and I've been so lazy that I couldn't be arsed doing an update.
So what's happend?
pretty much fuck all, I went to Scotland to work but that didn't last long and it was really shit, it was really cold and dark and I actually hated every minute of it.
Lees bird Lindsay is over from Australia for a couple of months and I must say she is fucking mental! I mean that in the nicest sense of the word but I didn't expect her to be up for everything! She likes to drink, swear, burp (REALLY loud) and get extremely pissed, she's pretty much the female version of me, only she's tall, got loads of hair and is attractive! (I suddenly hate her!)
My Excellent French friend Eva, (do you know how much it annoys me to be friends with a French person) is back online and it's pretty crazy, I've not spoke to her in a while and I've missed her loads, sometimes you need madness in your life and she is certainly mad!
Christmas is almost upon us and I'm not ready in the slightest, I still need to get presents for my mum and sister and I'm fucked off with all the queues in the shops and fucking idiots wandering around town in zig-zags and fucking stopping in the middle of the street for me to trip over them!! FUCKERS!
Chris Barker is coming back at the weekend and it'll be wikked to see him, not seen him in over a year so it'll be cool to have a few bevvies and a laugh with him.
Cheers to whoever sent the comment in the last entry (probably Jof) with the words to a song I wrote almost ten years ago, it's called Tonight and although Jof might mock that it's sickly sweet, I think he is secretly jealous of it. (It is copyrighted so no stealing it!! Thieving fuckbags)
I think that should do for now, so all that leaves me to say is, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
All the best for 2007!
Woggzeh signing out.
http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/2203/hoffjh1.jpg
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I love it when you call, I love it when you call, So what’s the complication it’s only conversation.
Wow the first November update.....EVER.
I'm sick of every fucker moaning about updates, you'll get a fucking update when I give a flying fuck enough to write one. so what's new?
The sky is abit darker at night and the days are abit colder than last update, also there is less sunshine per day than in summer or if you actually lived on the sun.
Bonfire night came and went at the beginning of the month, as it always fucking does, and that was as good as it ever is. Lee came back from Australia because he had to, so we've had a few good nights out, plenty of drinking which is nice..........HIGH FIVE!!!
Lee's bird Lindsay has also come over to England until next year sometime, I'm sure she'll have a fantastic time over here, I just feel sorry for her because she is Australian and people will take the piss out of her, Something I would NEVER do, no, not me, not at all.
I'm suffering from Insomnia again, I had it last week and managed a couple of hours the other night, now I have been awake for over 36 hours and I'm pretty fucked. Probably why I'm feeling so argumentative and ratty and lazy. I hope sleep comes tonight.
I took part in a debate on www.theamplifier.co.uk talking about the beach boys being better than the beatles, I'd advise you to have a listen, but listen carefully because my bits right at the end and I talk fast!, there is also a new Johnny Arrow song on the podcast called "Disappointment" and, fuck me, Download it for that song, you really wont be dissapointed, I love it.
I had a really bad panic attack this morning whilst going through the Mersey tunnel, which is mad, I've been doing that journey for a few weeks now and it's never bothered me before. Scary shit.
Can't be arsed to write much more, Christmas is less that a month away, Just thought I'd remind you, I will update before them (hopefully more than once) so see ya later people.
take care
Woggzeh (in his own little sleepless world)
I'm sick of every fucker moaning about updates, you'll get a fucking update when I give a flying fuck enough to write one. so what's new?
The sky is abit darker at night and the days are abit colder than last update, also there is less sunshine per day than in summer or if you actually lived on the sun.
Bonfire night came and went at the beginning of the month, as it always fucking does, and that was as good as it ever is. Lee came back from Australia because he had to, so we've had a few good nights out, plenty of drinking which is nice..........HIGH FIVE!!!
Lee's bird Lindsay has also come over to England until next year sometime, I'm sure she'll have a fantastic time over here, I just feel sorry for her because she is Australian and people will take the piss out of her, Something I would NEVER do, no, not me, not at all.
I'm suffering from Insomnia again, I had it last week and managed a couple of hours the other night, now I have been awake for over 36 hours and I'm pretty fucked. Probably why I'm feeling so argumentative and ratty and lazy. I hope sleep comes tonight.
I took part in a debate on www.theamplifier.co.uk talking about the beach boys being better than the beatles, I'd advise you to have a listen, but listen carefully because my bits right at the end and I talk fast!, there is also a new Johnny Arrow song on the podcast called "Disappointment" and, fuck me, Download it for that song, you really wont be dissapointed, I love it.
I had a really bad panic attack this morning whilst going through the Mersey tunnel, which is mad, I've been doing that journey for a few weeks now and it's never bothered me before. Scary shit.
Can't be arsed to write much more, Christmas is less that a month away, Just thought I'd remind you, I will update before them (hopefully more than once) so see ya later people.
take care
Woggzeh (in his own little sleepless world)
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Johnny's in the basement, Mixing up the medicine, I'm on the pavement, Thinking about the government
This is a copy of a msn message I sent to the beautiful Stacey in Australia, I wrote so much I thought I'd cheat and post it here and use it as a blog update.
so I went out last night with Trel and Paul, went to crabtrees, it was packed in there and it had a 4am licence last night because it was someones birthday, had a few beerses in there then went onto rat and parrot, it was busy in there too,
quite alot of pretty girls too, nice, had a few drinky poos in there and then onto hogs head because we wanted to watch the boxing (joe calzaghe was fighting) but they had the football on instead, which was annoying. A hen party turned up and started making noise and being like girls are on hen nights so we all left and went back to crabbies.
I won a few quid on the fruit machine and started drinking Jack Daniels and coke (doubles only £2.65, nice) well as usual after about 10 of them I was well on my way to getting drunk, but still felt fine and carried on drinking, we left at about 1am, that's when I felt the effects of the drink, I think the fresh air made me drunk anyway, I was held up by Trelly and Paul and we went in search of Pizza, I got 2 pepperoni pizzas for £5.50, nice. I managed to eat some and also managed to feed the pavement some of it too so I had to eat the second one, now I didn't manage it all so I gave the rest to trel, knowing he would do the right thing and eat it and not throw it on the floor. I don't remember much about the walk home , I do however remember fighting the urge to sit on a bench knowing full well that I would have fallen asleep there and I didn't want that. So that pretty much brings me upto date, I'm awake now, feel fine, no hangover but I am a thirsty little monkey. Gonna have a lazy day today. what have you been upto I like this post I'm gonna copy and paste it onto my blog.
so I went out last night with Trel and Paul, went to crabtrees, it was packed in there and it had a 4am licence last night because it was someones birthday, had a few beerses in there then went onto rat and parrot, it was busy in there too,
quite alot of pretty girls too, nice, had a few drinky poos in there and then onto hogs head because we wanted to watch the boxing (joe calzaghe was fighting) but they had the football on instead, which was annoying. A hen party turned up and started making noise and being like girls are on hen nights so we all left and went back to crabbies.
I won a few quid on the fruit machine and started drinking Jack Daniels and coke (doubles only £2.65, nice) well as usual after about 10 of them I was well on my way to getting drunk, but still felt fine and carried on drinking, we left at about 1am, that's when I felt the effects of the drink, I think the fresh air made me drunk anyway, I was held up by Trelly and Paul and we went in search of Pizza, I got 2 pepperoni pizzas for £5.50, nice. I managed to eat some and also managed to feed the pavement some of it too so I had to eat the second one, now I didn't manage it all so I gave the rest to trel, knowing he would do the right thing and eat it and not throw it on the floor. I don't remember much about the walk home , I do however remember fighting the urge to sit on a bench knowing full well that I would have fallen asleep there and I didn't want that. So that pretty much brings me upto date, I'm awake now, feel fine, no hangover but I am a thirsty little monkey. Gonna have a lazy day today. what have you been upto I like this post I'm gonna copy and paste it onto my blog.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
You can talk to me, Anytime that you feel the pain, I'll take the strain, You can talk to me.
Howdy doody doo people.
I thought I'd treat you to an update because I'm bored. So what have I been doing? well as usual I've not done alot, been working and the usual bullshit stuff that everyone says they have been doing when you ask them what they have been upto.
went out with Bullough last saturday and Paul came up from Stoke too, had a good night got home at around 2am! time went really quick but it generally does when you are having fun. Had a missed called from Johnny Arrow who rang at 3am, sorry dude I was in beddy byes by then, you're still a legend in my books though, although if I had woken up when you phoned then I would have called you something quite different!
Been watching the second season of Extras, it's been really funny especially the one with Ronnie Corbett.
So I'm gonna put the cat among the pigeons here and ask you a question that I asked my dad this week and we had a good debate about it (not a mass debate before you ask Dave), so the question that I pout forth is who were the better band? The Beatles or The Beach Boys? now I love both bands but I choose the Beach Boys, mainly because I think they have the better songs, I think my main choice comes from the fact that the Beatles are massively over-played on the radio so they get quite tiresome, That's just my opinion I hope you leave some feedback with what you think. I could also ask who the better songwriter is.... John Lennon or Brian Wilson, now there I would always choose John Lennon because his solo stuff is fantastic.
Aston Villa are still unbeaten this season although we got a stupid draw with Spurs today (missed a penalty and scored an own goal) but all in all I'm happy with them and Martin O' Neill really is a great manager.
I watched Crank (Jason Statham film) the other day and it was fantastic I reccomend you watch it, I've watched loads of films recently but I can't remember what ther were, Snakes on a plane was as shit as you would expect, it's all about a plane that has snakes on it!!!!
Prison Break is on a 2 week break because of the rounders in America, I dunno it could be the World Series which the Yanks fucking love because they win it every year! not one of them realising that America is not the world (isn't that a Morrisey song?) fuckers!! fuck their shitty game of rounders and put Prison Break back on!!! NOW!!!
In other news Kim Jom Il (sp) the Korean Madman has let off a nuclear bomb because he felt like it, what kind of a twat does that? they ain't fucking cheap them things, I know that because I've been looking for one on Ebay.
My next door neighbour is a lazy bastard, his son was doing his homework and asked his dad what a cubic foot was, his dad didn't know but managed to get a week off work with it, I was gonna try it but my dad beat me to it!!!
well I'm gonna fuck off, I couldn't be arsed to do this update but I had nowt better to do.
Hope you are all well, take care people.
Woggzeh!
I thought I'd treat you to an update because I'm bored. So what have I been doing? well as usual I've not done alot, been working and the usual bullshit stuff that everyone says they have been doing when you ask them what they have been upto.
went out with Bullough last saturday and Paul came up from Stoke too, had a good night got home at around 2am! time went really quick but it generally does when you are having fun. Had a missed called from Johnny Arrow who rang at 3am, sorry dude I was in beddy byes by then, you're still a legend in my books though, although if I had woken up when you phoned then I would have called you something quite different!
Been watching the second season of Extras, it's been really funny especially the one with Ronnie Corbett.
So I'm gonna put the cat among the pigeons here and ask you a question that I asked my dad this week and we had a good debate about it (not a mass debate before you ask Dave), so the question that I pout forth is who were the better band? The Beatles or The Beach Boys? now I love both bands but I choose the Beach Boys, mainly because I think they have the better songs, I think my main choice comes from the fact that the Beatles are massively over-played on the radio so they get quite tiresome, That's just my opinion I hope you leave some feedback with what you think. I could also ask who the better songwriter is.... John Lennon or Brian Wilson, now there I would always choose John Lennon because his solo stuff is fantastic.
Aston Villa are still unbeaten this season although we got a stupid draw with Spurs today (missed a penalty and scored an own goal) but all in all I'm happy with them and Martin O' Neill really is a great manager.
I watched Crank (Jason Statham film) the other day and it was fantastic I reccomend you watch it, I've watched loads of films recently but I can't remember what ther were, Snakes on a plane was as shit as you would expect, it's all about a plane that has snakes on it!!!!
Prison Break is on a 2 week break because of the rounders in America, I dunno it could be the World Series which the Yanks fucking love because they win it every year! not one of them realising that America is not the world (isn't that a Morrisey song?) fuckers!! fuck their shitty game of rounders and put Prison Break back on!!! NOW!!!
In other news Kim Jom Il (sp) the Korean Madman has let off a nuclear bomb because he felt like it, what kind of a twat does that? they ain't fucking cheap them things, I know that because I've been looking for one on Ebay.
My next door neighbour is a lazy bastard, his son was doing his homework and asked his dad what a cubic foot was, his dad didn't know but managed to get a week off work with it, I was gonna try it but my dad beat me to it!!!
well I'm gonna fuck off, I couldn't be arsed to do this update but I had nowt better to do.
Hope you are all well, take care people.
Woggzeh!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Runaway train never going back, Wrong way on a one way track, Seems like I should be getting somewhere, Somehow I'm neither here nor there.
Wotcha People,
It's been awhile since the last update, it's funny, all my posts seem to start with it's been awhile since my last update but fuck it, it adds a couple of lines to my blog, I've been able to waffle on about fuck all since I was at school, it made all my assignments look really long and impressive but in truth there is absolutely no content there just words that seem to compliment each other when they are all written down together, 5 lines to say I waffle alot, I should have been a lawyer, problem is I waffled too much in my assignments at school and ultimately failed!
So how are we all?
I am fine,been back to work and it sucked ass after a long holiday but after a couple of days I got back into the groove and the bad moods returned, so I am back to normal again.
Eva (My French friend) is now living in Portsmouth as her University course starts next week, so I wish her all the best for that.
I've been listening to the new Scssor sisters album recently and I must say, I'm dissapointed, If it wasn't for "I don't feel like dancing" it could quite easily be a 'B' sides album, I would like to add "I can't decide" to that list, so an album with 2 good songs is not good enough, I will give it a few more listens before making my ultimate decision on it but the prejudice has already set in, generally, if a whole album is shit from the first listen then it remains shit, (anyone remember the Bravery? Fuck me that was an awful album)
I got the Frattellis album and it's a cracker loads of catchy songs to bop around to, I advise you listen out for, "Chelsea Dagger" It sticks in your head for days!!!!
Today was the Great North Run and Robin and Keelie were competing, I had a look on television to see if I could see them but I didn't, I wanted them to win but they didn't, so that was abit shit!
I don't know why but suddenly I have got too much TV to watch, this coming from me, is quite mad as I don't normally make an effort to watch programmes, I just watch what's on, but it's just got mad now, especially with shows from america, prison break, family guy, my name is Earl, and stuff that's on TV normally, Spooks and shit.
what are you lot upto? you seem too shy to leave messages on the message board and thus makes me think that no one is reading this blog unless you tell me, "read your blog" at least I update!! (comment aimed at Dave and Lee).
Speaking of Lee, his time is nearly up and no longer needs to live on Convict Isle, hopefully he will be home soon (and pay his bar tab, sorry dude we had some good nights out at your expense), Still he phones me quite often and I get endless silly messages from him, so he is well and having a laugh.
I don't know what else to write, so I'll bid you farewell, take care and hope to hear from you soon.
Johnny Arrow, Christopher, not heard from you guys for nearly a yonk, what are you guys upto?
well, see ya later.
Woggzeh
It's been awhile since the last update, it's funny, all my posts seem to start with it's been awhile since my last update but fuck it, it adds a couple of lines to my blog, I've been able to waffle on about fuck all since I was at school, it made all my assignments look really long and impressive but in truth there is absolutely no content there just words that seem to compliment each other when they are all written down together, 5 lines to say I waffle alot, I should have been a lawyer, problem is I waffled too much in my assignments at school and ultimately failed!
So how are we all?
I am fine,been back to work and it sucked ass after a long holiday but after a couple of days I got back into the groove and the bad moods returned, so I am back to normal again.
Eva (My French friend) is now living in Portsmouth as her University course starts next week, so I wish her all the best for that.
I've been listening to the new Scssor sisters album recently and I must say, I'm dissapointed, If it wasn't for "I don't feel like dancing" it could quite easily be a 'B' sides album, I would like to add "I can't decide" to that list, so an album with 2 good songs is not good enough, I will give it a few more listens before making my ultimate decision on it but the prejudice has already set in, generally, if a whole album is shit from the first listen then it remains shit, (anyone remember the Bravery? Fuck me that was an awful album)
I got the Frattellis album and it's a cracker loads of catchy songs to bop around to, I advise you listen out for, "Chelsea Dagger" It sticks in your head for days!!!!
Today was the Great North Run and Robin and Keelie were competing, I had a look on television to see if I could see them but I didn't, I wanted them to win but they didn't, so that was abit shit!
I don't know why but suddenly I have got too much TV to watch, this coming from me, is quite mad as I don't normally make an effort to watch programmes, I just watch what's on, but it's just got mad now, especially with shows from america, prison break, family guy, my name is Earl, and stuff that's on TV normally, Spooks and shit.
what are you lot upto? you seem too shy to leave messages on the message board and thus makes me think that no one is reading this blog unless you tell me, "read your blog" at least I update!! (comment aimed at Dave and Lee).
Speaking of Lee, his time is nearly up and no longer needs to live on Convict Isle, hopefully he will be home soon (and pay his bar tab, sorry dude we had some good nights out at your expense), Still he phones me quite often and I get endless silly messages from him, so he is well and having a laugh.
I don't know what else to write, so I'll bid you farewell, take care and hope to hear from you soon.
Johnny Arrow, Christopher, not heard from you guys for nearly a yonk, what are you guys upto?
well, see ya later.
Woggzeh
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
dedication's what you need; If you wanna be a record break-er.
The picture is of the World record longest deathbed speech which lasted 93 years 2 days 4 hours and three minutes. (click the picture for a larger view)
I liked this picture because it proves that with enough determination you can achieve anything, there are also other world record holders in the picture, including, the world record peek-a-boo champion (front), Wilfred Cracksnott going for the world record bubble blowing using only his fingers (forth from left, and everyone willing him on!) and the man sat down in the chair on the right holds the World record for best (and longest) impersonation of a gramophone! I might try to find more world records for next time.
Well my holiday is in it's last week and to be honest I've been bored for most of the time, I get up between 8 and 9am to let the dog out then I get washed and dressed and take it for a proper walk then I just lay about all day watching mundane daytime television and gameshow afternoons, honestly, I'm sure my IQ has taken a battering.
I've really have done nothing to tell you about and I suppose in a way that's a good thing, because it means that I've spent my holiday doing nothing, which is what I wanted.
I was saddend by the death of Steve Irwin on September the 4th as I am sure most of the world was shocked or saddend, but the bloke was a fucking nutcase and everyone (myself included) thought he would die by being eaten by a crocodile but in the end it was a rare stingray attack. At least he died doing what he loves doing most! I'm sure people will say the same of me if I die whilst having a wank (thanks for the gag Lee), but until that day comes we'll never know.
I'm gonna go now, and cook my tea, I bought some lovely stewing steak from the butchers this morning and I'm gonna make a nice casserole, so I'd better get cracking.
take care everyone,
Woggzeh
EDIT 13-09-2006
After getting told off by Stacey in Australia for not mentioning her in my blog, I've decided to add this:
Had a few exciting conversations with Stacey in Australia, I seem to talk to her more than I talk to Lee which is fine because I don't have a crush on Lee (well not one that I'd admit to you lot). Hope you are fine Stacey, Hope you liked the mention.
Other news, I twisted my ankle yesterday and badly bruised my foot, I was in agony last night and could hardly walk, it's alot better today and I can hobble around quite well but still in pain, I would appreciate your sympathys.
Toodle ooh
Thursday, August 31, 2006
The more you ignore me, The closer I get, You're wasting your time, The more you ignore me, The closer I get, You're wasting your time.
Hello People, I've decided it was time for an update, I think it's been nearly three weeks since the last one and I have to please my fans so we shall begin:
well, I can't think of anything to tell you, so I'll just waffle on like normal, I'm currently listening to the Young Knives brand spanking debut album and I like it so far (5 tracks in), I've not had much music recently, Dave keeps sending me stuff but most of it is shit, I actually think that he looks for bloody awful music and sends it to me as part of some hilarious joke that I'm not in on (have I sussed you out?).
My parents have gone on holiday for 2 weeks so I have 2 weeks off work which is wikked but I know I'll get bored within the next few hours so I might update this blog more often over the next two weeks. I'm looking after the dog and cat and they are both asleep and out of my way so they are being good.
A leaflet just dropped through my letterbox for Yoga courses, it says it can help you slim, fair enough but I'm sure Yoga is all that crappy bending and exertion of the body to a state of despair, fuck me I get out of breath if I get out of the chair too quickly so I think I'll be putting this leaflet straight into the recycle bin (01423 864343 if anyone is interested).
we have had plenty of work on and been really busy over the past couple of weeks so that is good news and hopefully I'll have plenty of money to piss against the wall or do something useful with.
Ok back to the young knives, they have a crazy song called 'Tailors' and it seems to be tranquil music then the singer says, 'cotton cotton cotton' then 'needles needles needles' then 'buttons buttons buttons' absolutely awesome I wish I'd used it as todays title but I chose Morrissey instead, I absolutely love this song even though I'm not a fan of Morrissey, but credit where credit is due, it's a great track.
Looking forward to a few films that are coming out, Severence, Adrift and the new Jason Statham flick, so hopefully I'll see them soon and I'll give you a brief review, I think Jason statham is a great actor but I hate it when he tries to do an American accent, he really should stick to the cockney wide boy stuff, I love his line in Lock Stock........
'right foot, left foot, your body follows it's called walking,
now it's one price £10 it's almost as long as my arm. I wish it was as long as something else,
now don't think that because these boxes are sealed that they are empty,
The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker and looking around at a few of you here, I'd have made more money today with my measuring tape'.
Love it!!!!
I got an email from my mum t'other day it's a picture of loads of things happening and you have to spot 75 bands, it's ace, I got 50 in the first 10 minutes but the other 25 elude me, I'm sure I'm the last person to see this email but if anyone wants it to while away the time, then give me a nod and I'lll email it over to you.
Prison Break is back on tv in America so I've seen the first two episodes of the new season and the pace is electrifying I simply cannot wait until next week to see the next episode, I'm not kidding, it's so addictive!!!
well, fuck it I'm all waffled out, gonna make a chili-con-carne for my tea.
Last day of the transfer market today and Villa have bought Petrov and are in talks with James Milner, I'd like to see a few more signings (Thierry Henry and John Terry) but I think that'lll be it, still I'll be waiting with anticipation till the midnight hour to see who comes in and who goes.
Still can't believe that West Ham have bought Tevez!!! I bet he gets an injury in his first game for the hammers (which is against Villa on sept 10th).
well that'll do, I'm putting up a picture of me, trelly and heather at coniston, I like the picture, if you don't like it then don't look at it.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Sound your horn, ring the bell, ok, kiss, comb your hair, wave ur hands come on wave ur hands, SUPERMAN, woooooooo
how do people, you alright? I'm alright, You alright? I'm alright, that's alright then.
Jeeze, I've really got nothing to report to you about my life in the last few weeks, mainly because I can't remember anything and secondly I've done nowt good!
Last post was about Coniston, glad you liked it, sorry about all the typos and mistakes but I couldn't be arsed to proof read it before posting it, it was a really big update and I will not be doing that for a while.
So I finally got to see Superman Returns recently and FUCK ME! it was amazing, I was blown away by the script, the effects, the 'je nais sais quai' (sorry Eva, I'll leave the french to you) it was just fan-fucking-tastic, I dont know what else to say, it was smashing, and I think Brandon Routh made a fantastic Superman/Clark Kent and he really does look like the late great Christopher Reeve.
I saw Bullough and Hannah last weekend, which was nice, finally got my birthday beer from him (only a month late but mmmmmm free beer) I'm glad to say that everything is fine and dandy at their end of Yorkshire and I'll have to bob over some time and have a night out in Leeds and see the flat and stuff.
My little French friend, Eva, has got a place at Portsmouth University which is fantastic news and I'm happy as Larry for her, I hope she enjoys England, (It's alot better than France!!!) and I hope she does well in her studys, (She'll do fantastic because she's a clever clogs but she wouldn't admit that to me) so nice one Mad Lizzie Crumbs (nickname), I've put up a link to your artwork, enjoy it people, it's all 'normal'.
so what else is happening? I spoke to Lee the other day on the phone, He's still loving Australia and apparently he's never coming home! so he'll be home soon then.
heard an ace joke on the telebox t'other night, I'll relay it to you. It's involves two school boys talking one says to the other..........
"what's the worst thing you can buy from a second hand shop?"
"dunno"
"second hand toilet paper, hahaha, do you get it?"
"haha yeah I get it"
"eugh you grebby bastard you get second hand toilet paper"
I thought it was funny anyway.
cor blimey I've discovered a fantastic drink that really wakes you up when you get up and feel a bit rough and you need that 'kick in the bollocks' to get you going, it's called, hold on, it's called Orange Breaker and you buy it from Spar! I don't know why I wrote 'hold on' as if I'm talking to you in real time and will wonder where I've gone, stupid me.
Martin O'Neill (I before E except after C, stupid paddys) has been installed as the new Aston Villa manager and I for one am pretty excited about his appointment, I'm not expecting miracles (well not instantly anyway) but I think he will do us proud, the only way is up!
well I'll leave you now, hope the update was sufficient.
take care people.
Wogg Wogg
"Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them,
They can be a great people Kal-el if they wish to be,
They only lack the light to show the way.
For this reason above all, their capacity for good,
I have sent them you, My only son."
Jeeze, I've really got nothing to report to you about my life in the last few weeks, mainly because I can't remember anything and secondly I've done nowt good!
Last post was about Coniston, glad you liked it, sorry about all the typos and mistakes but I couldn't be arsed to proof read it before posting it, it was a really big update and I will not be doing that for a while.
So I finally got to see Superman Returns recently and FUCK ME! it was amazing, I was blown away by the script, the effects, the 'je nais sais quai' (sorry Eva, I'll leave the french to you) it was just fan-fucking-tastic, I dont know what else to say, it was smashing, and I think Brandon Routh made a fantastic Superman/Clark Kent and he really does look like the late great Christopher Reeve.
I saw Bullough and Hannah last weekend, which was nice, finally got my birthday beer from him (only a month late but mmmmmm free beer) I'm glad to say that everything is fine and dandy at their end of Yorkshire and I'll have to bob over some time and have a night out in Leeds and see the flat and stuff.
My little French friend, Eva, has got a place at Portsmouth University which is fantastic news and I'm happy as Larry for her, I hope she enjoys England, (It's alot better than France!!!) and I hope she does well in her studys, (She'll do fantastic because she's a clever clogs but she wouldn't admit that to me) so nice one Mad Lizzie Crumbs (nickname), I've put up a link to your artwork, enjoy it people, it's all 'normal'.
so what else is happening? I spoke to Lee the other day on the phone, He's still loving Australia and apparently he's never coming home! so he'll be home soon then.
heard an ace joke on the telebox t'other night, I'll relay it to you. It's involves two school boys talking one says to the other..........
"what's the worst thing you can buy from a second hand shop?"
"dunno"
"second hand toilet paper, hahaha, do you get it?"
"haha yeah I get it"
"eugh you grebby bastard you get second hand toilet paper"
I thought it was funny anyway.
cor blimey I've discovered a fantastic drink that really wakes you up when you get up and feel a bit rough and you need that 'kick in the bollocks' to get you going, it's called, hold on, it's called Orange Breaker and you buy it from Spar! I don't know why I wrote 'hold on' as if I'm talking to you in real time and will wonder where I've gone, stupid me.
Martin O'Neill (I before E except after C, stupid paddys) has been installed as the new Aston Villa manager and I for one am pretty excited about his appointment, I'm not expecting miracles (well not instantly anyway) but I think he will do us proud, the only way is up!
well I'll leave you now, hope the update was sufficient.
take care people.
Wogg Wogg
"Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them,
They can be a great people Kal-el if they wish to be,
They only lack the light to show the way.
For this reason above all, their capacity for good,
I have sent them you, My only son."
Monday, July 24, 2006
God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you, Gave rock and roll to everyone.
Hello people.
I thought I would update and tell you all about my weekend.
Those of you who are regular readers of this blog (not many but I'm sure there are a few) will know that I've been to Coniston it was an absolutely excellent weekend and the sun was out and it didn't rain and spoil itself, we were really lucky and I'm slightly dissapointed to be home but all good things must come to an end, I'll run through a few things that we did.
Friday:
Set off from Harrogate at about 10am drive to the lakes listening to my compilation cd (includes songs such as 'hands up, baby hands up, give my your heart gimme gimme....) so that was ace, took abit longer than expected to get there but we got there safely and checked into the campsite and set up our tents, (my tent was up first, hooooray) I cracked open a beer and sat in my chair watching, Trelly, Paul, Robin, Keelie and Matt fuck about with their tents, pretty soon everyone was sorted and all enjoying a beer in the hot hot sun, I had no sun cream but fuck it, I'm a man.
So I got burned on my arms and legs and moaned.
Steve and his wife Heather turned up at about 6pm with their dog, Lucy, I sat back and watched them get their tents up, once they got their tent up I was worn out with all that watching, so I had another beer and started to cook some food, Tomato and basil pasta thing, twas reet nice.
I drank 7 cans all in all then it was time to set off to the pub, Went to the Ship Inn, had a pint in there (£2:70 a pint) Then walked into town and went to the Yewdale (£2:60 a pint) sat there for the rest of the evening with everyone telling stories and jokes ( my jokes were the best) Trel made a really funny remark about cheese graters but its one of those thing where, 'you have to be there' to find it funny left the pub at about midnight and staggered back to our tents for some kip.
Saturday
Got up at 6am!!!!! (Thanks to Steve) so my hangover was pretty bad but I could cope, got cleaned up and stuff and had beans and sausages for brekkers, (champion!) Then we went to Ambleside for a wander around, We saw Morris dancers and they were pretty dull to be honest, but still good to see. My favourite shop has closed down (A magic shop) and a smaller one has opened down the road abit but it's rubbish now so I was dissapointed. I had a sausage roll from Greggs (which seemed to be run by children, strange days indeed) Then it was back to the campsite.
Went swimming at lunchtime and had good fun in the lake, I managed to slip on a rock and cut my shin but it didn't hurt too much. I got out and sat on a rock to dry off, Robin managed to throw a frisbee and hit me right on my fresh cut and that hurt alot but I didn't tell anyone.
I went back to my tent after a few hours and was rather badly sunburned.
Trelly and me decided we wanted fish and chips for lunch so Paul drove us to town and I got fish and chips (tasted really bland) then we just relaxed, I felt abit poory so I went to the loo and threw up, (not the first time I've been poorly after eating fish and chips in Coniston) I came back to the tent and had a sleep, I awoke later still feeling bad and realised that it was the food that made me poorly I had sunstroke so I sat in the shade and moaned then had another sleep and felt better (I had also bought some sun cream by now and that was nice and cold) we set off to town and the sheeps all said 'baaa' except for one which said 'Robiiiiiin' we went to the same pubs again and had a good drink, Steve had sun stroke too but he got on with the job in hand (drinking!!) The barman in the Yewdale was the gayest bloke ever, Hilarious! Back to the tents at about 01:00 and then down to the beach for a few more beers.
Sunday
Got up about 8am and had some pasta for brekkers then we did nothing for ages so I went to the beach with my fishing rod, 1 float, 2 weights, some hooks and sweetcorn for bait, had a bit of fun but the hook kept on snagging the rocks on the botton of the lake when I reeled it in so that was annoying, I managed to cath a really big stick but that was all. Back to the tent and had a couple of beers and chilled for a while, then Me, Paul and Trelly went to town for some supplys, I got some more fishing tackle and a sausage roll, went back to the campsite and did abit more fishing but still caught nothing, I let Trelly have a go with my rod and he managed to cast out the line and fall in the lake, that was really funny.
Went to town in the evening and drank at the crown (£2:70 for a flat pint) and then onto the black bull (£2:90 for a pint!!! money grabbing bastards) We didn't goto the Yewdale because Steve had managed to upset the gay barman so we felt it best if we left him alone. Had a good drink in there then home at about 11:30 we sat up and looked at the stars and Steve pointed out some constellations which were impressive. Went to bed and had a good kip.
Monday
Got up, had a poo, packed up some of my stuff andthen went for another poo, packed up my tent and everything and loaded it into the car and though it would be best to go for another poo, I did my new favourite thing to do in public toilets and that is make grunting/straining noises for a laugh, we set off and went to Ambleside for some brekkers in Daisys, I had a Sausage in a bun with a mug of tea and then had another poo. We set off home at about 11am and had a good ride home, I'm now really tired and gotta go back to work tomorrow, but all in all it was one of the best camping weekends I've had. I would advise anyone to go there sometime, or come with us lot next year.
I'm gonna go chill out now, might even get my head down for an hour or so. Hope the update wasn't too boring, it's more of an update for the people who went with me and can relate to the experience but for the rest of you, that's what I did this weekend, what did you do?
Take care,
Woggzeh
I thought I would update and tell you all about my weekend.
Those of you who are regular readers of this blog (not many but I'm sure there are a few) will know that I've been to Coniston it was an absolutely excellent weekend and the sun was out and it didn't rain and spoil itself, we were really lucky and I'm slightly dissapointed to be home but all good things must come to an end, I'll run through a few things that we did.
Friday:
Set off from Harrogate at about 10am drive to the lakes listening to my compilation cd (includes songs such as 'hands up, baby hands up, give my your heart gimme gimme....) so that was ace, took abit longer than expected to get there but we got there safely and checked into the campsite and set up our tents, (my tent was up first, hooooray) I cracked open a beer and sat in my chair watching, Trelly, Paul, Robin, Keelie and Matt fuck about with their tents, pretty soon everyone was sorted and all enjoying a beer in the hot hot sun, I had no sun cream but fuck it, I'm a man.
So I got burned on my arms and legs and moaned.
Steve and his wife Heather turned up at about 6pm with their dog, Lucy, I sat back and watched them get their tents up, once they got their tent up I was worn out with all that watching, so I had another beer and started to cook some food, Tomato and basil pasta thing, twas reet nice.
I drank 7 cans all in all then it was time to set off to the pub, Went to the Ship Inn, had a pint in there (£2:70 a pint) Then walked into town and went to the Yewdale (£2:60 a pint) sat there for the rest of the evening with everyone telling stories and jokes ( my jokes were the best) Trel made a really funny remark about cheese graters but its one of those thing where, 'you have to be there' to find it funny left the pub at about midnight and staggered back to our tents for some kip.
Saturday
Got up at 6am!!!!! (Thanks to Steve) so my hangover was pretty bad but I could cope, got cleaned up and stuff and had beans and sausages for brekkers, (champion!) Then we went to Ambleside for a wander around, We saw Morris dancers and they were pretty dull to be honest, but still good to see. My favourite shop has closed down (A magic shop) and a smaller one has opened down the road abit but it's rubbish now so I was dissapointed. I had a sausage roll from Greggs (which seemed to be run by children, strange days indeed) Then it was back to the campsite.
Went swimming at lunchtime and had good fun in the lake, I managed to slip on a rock and cut my shin but it didn't hurt too much. I got out and sat on a rock to dry off, Robin managed to throw a frisbee and hit me right on my fresh cut and that hurt alot but I didn't tell anyone.
I went back to my tent after a few hours and was rather badly sunburned.
Trelly and me decided we wanted fish and chips for lunch so Paul drove us to town and I got fish and chips (tasted really bland) then we just relaxed, I felt abit poory so I went to the loo and threw up, (not the first time I've been poorly after eating fish and chips in Coniston) I came back to the tent and had a sleep, I awoke later still feeling bad and realised that it was the food that made me poorly I had sunstroke so I sat in the shade and moaned then had another sleep and felt better (I had also bought some sun cream by now and that was nice and cold) we set off to town and the sheeps all said 'baaa' except for one which said 'Robiiiiiin' we went to the same pubs again and had a good drink, Steve had sun stroke too but he got on with the job in hand (drinking!!) The barman in the Yewdale was the gayest bloke ever, Hilarious! Back to the tents at about 01:00 and then down to the beach for a few more beers.
Sunday
Got up about 8am and had some pasta for brekkers then we did nothing for ages so I went to the beach with my fishing rod, 1 float, 2 weights, some hooks and sweetcorn for bait, had a bit of fun but the hook kept on snagging the rocks on the botton of the lake when I reeled it in so that was annoying, I managed to cath a really big stick but that was all. Back to the tent and had a couple of beers and chilled for a while, then Me, Paul and Trelly went to town for some supplys, I got some more fishing tackle and a sausage roll, went back to the campsite and did abit more fishing but still caught nothing, I let Trelly have a go with my rod and he managed to cast out the line and fall in the lake, that was really funny.
Went to town in the evening and drank at the crown (£2:70 for a flat pint) and then onto the black bull (£2:90 for a pint!!! money grabbing bastards) We didn't goto the Yewdale because Steve had managed to upset the gay barman so we felt it best if we left him alone. Had a good drink in there then home at about 11:30 we sat up and looked at the stars and Steve pointed out some constellations which were impressive. Went to bed and had a good kip.
Monday
Got up, had a poo, packed up some of my stuff andthen went for another poo, packed up my tent and everything and loaded it into the car and though it would be best to go for another poo, I did my new favourite thing to do in public toilets and that is make grunting/straining noises for a laugh, we set off and went to Ambleside for some brekkers in Daisys, I had a Sausage in a bun with a mug of tea and then had another poo. We set off home at about 11am and had a good ride home, I'm now really tired and gotta go back to work tomorrow, but all in all it was one of the best camping weekends I've had. I would advise anyone to go there sometime, or come with us lot next year.
I'm gonna go chill out now, might even get my head down for an hour or so. Hope the update wasn't too boring, it's more of an update for the people who went with me and can relate to the experience but for the rest of you, that's what I did this weekend, what did you do?
Take care,
Woggzeh
Saturday, July 15, 2006
All I needed was the love you gave, All I needed for another day, And all I ever knew, Only you.
Moan Moan Moan Moan Moan, That's all I get from you guys, yeah I know I promised an update sooner than now, but bollocks to you, I've done nowt.
Last week (Friday the 7th) was my birthday, thanks to everyone who sent me messages and cards that was very nice. However, as what usually happens around celebration times, I got poorly, (I had a 24 hour bug t'other year that only affected me on christmas day, my dad had it for boxing day and my mum the day after, but at least they got their xmas day meal!!!)
So as I said I felt like shit all day, I didn't eat anything till tea time when I rustled up some scrambled eggs an toast, and halfway through.............threw up, I thought about staying in and getting an early night but fuck that, it was my birthday so I went out, I drank guinness because it's nice and a good drink to sup if you have tummy ache, but after about 6 pints of that I felt full so I went onto 'old faithful' Jack Daniels and coke (always a double I'm a man it's the rules) I felt fucking magic after a few of them so I got merry and we fucked off to Cardinal Sins I carried on supping my JD & C and eventually threw up! time to leave, so as it was a friday me and trel went to Asda for a sandwich I got a chicken salad and munched that all the way home.
Saturday, well to be honest I had planned for a hangover except I got sickness and the shits (I'm guessing that's what made me feel so shit the day before) so I spend most of the day in the toilet (I spent so much time in the bog that I thought about sending out change of address cards) my mum was very kind and said, 'there's alot of it going about' Why the fuck do people say that??? Am I meant to feel grateful? is it to make me feel like I'm joining some exclusive club where the healthy can't get in? fuck off!!
I ended up sitting up all night reading my book and watching tv, sunday was ok, I managed to eat some tea, (I went over 36 hours without eating, which is amazing for me) I went to trels and drank water.
So all in all an eventful weekend.
I've been to the doctors about my shoulder, (I know this is all news to you, but I have a really painful shoulder and pins and needles in my finger tips, I've had it for a couple of weeks) any way the doctor says I've got Tendonitis, I've got some pills to take but if they don't work then I'll have to have an injection into my shoulder which the doctor says, 'hurts like fuck' so I hope the pills work, but I've been warned that they may make me throw up or upset my tummy, so..........fun times ahead.
I'm off camping next weekend to Lake Coniston (That's in the Lake District) I've been loads of times before and it's a fantastic place, it's gonna be ace this time because there are about 10 of us going, I've got my tent out in the garden and it's getting a good airing, I'm impressed with it really because I've not used it for a couple of years and it's not rotton or mouldy, I found my telescopic fishing rod, abit of line and trels got some floats, so I need to get some hooks and a fishing licence and hopefully I'll have abit of fun fishing too, Plus it's a good excuse to fuck off down to the lake on my own when everybody is pissing me off!
Well I think that's enough information for now, if you want to know more then come to Harrogate, buy me a drink and listen to me talking at you.
Take care people, I'll probably update after the camping weekend, tell you how it was, who attacked who, who's still talking to each other........... And how my shoulder is doing, (don't lose any sleep over my pain, but put me in your prayers)
toodle ooh my friends.
This is not goodbye, simply Au Revoir.
Last week (Friday the 7th) was my birthday, thanks to everyone who sent me messages and cards that was very nice. However, as what usually happens around celebration times, I got poorly, (I had a 24 hour bug t'other year that only affected me on christmas day, my dad had it for boxing day and my mum the day after, but at least they got their xmas day meal!!!)
So as I said I felt like shit all day, I didn't eat anything till tea time when I rustled up some scrambled eggs an toast, and halfway through.............threw up, I thought about staying in and getting an early night but fuck that, it was my birthday so I went out, I drank guinness because it's nice and a good drink to sup if you have tummy ache, but after about 6 pints of that I felt full so I went onto 'old faithful' Jack Daniels and coke (always a double I'm a man it's the rules) I felt fucking magic after a few of them so I got merry and we fucked off to Cardinal Sins I carried on supping my JD & C and eventually threw up! time to leave, so as it was a friday me and trel went to Asda for a sandwich I got a chicken salad and munched that all the way home.
Saturday, well to be honest I had planned for a hangover except I got sickness and the shits (I'm guessing that's what made me feel so shit the day before) so I spend most of the day in the toilet (I spent so much time in the bog that I thought about sending out change of address cards) my mum was very kind and said, 'there's alot of it going about' Why the fuck do people say that??? Am I meant to feel grateful? is it to make me feel like I'm joining some exclusive club where the healthy can't get in? fuck off!!
I ended up sitting up all night reading my book and watching tv, sunday was ok, I managed to eat some tea, (I went over 36 hours without eating, which is amazing for me) I went to trels and drank water.
So all in all an eventful weekend.
I've been to the doctors about my shoulder, (I know this is all news to you, but I have a really painful shoulder and pins and needles in my finger tips, I've had it for a couple of weeks) any way the doctor says I've got Tendonitis, I've got some pills to take but if they don't work then I'll have to have an injection into my shoulder which the doctor says, 'hurts like fuck' so I hope the pills work, but I've been warned that they may make me throw up or upset my tummy, so..........fun times ahead.
I'm off camping next weekend to Lake Coniston (That's in the Lake District) I've been loads of times before and it's a fantastic place, it's gonna be ace this time because there are about 10 of us going, I've got my tent out in the garden and it's getting a good airing, I'm impressed with it really because I've not used it for a couple of years and it's not rotton or mouldy, I found my telescopic fishing rod, abit of line and trels got some floats, so I need to get some hooks and a fishing licence and hopefully I'll have abit of fun fishing too, Plus it's a good excuse to fuck off down to the lake on my own when everybody is pissing me off!
Well I think that's enough information for now, if you want to know more then come to Harrogate, buy me a drink and listen to me talking at you.
Take care people, I'll probably update after the camping weekend, tell you how it was, who attacked who, who's still talking to each other........... And how my shoulder is doing, (don't lose any sleep over my pain, but put me in your prayers)
toodle ooh my friends.
This is not goodbye, simply Au Revoir.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I'm gonna drink so much champagne that my piss goes fizzy.
Well I thought it would be time for another update, (it's been a while hasn't it) regarless of that it's my pleasure to inform you that England are still in the world cup, ('till saturday at least) and if England score more goals than their opponants then we will go through to the semi-finals.
Huge fantastic news from the Woggzeh camp is that my sister is Pregnant and I'm gonna be an uncle, that kids gonna be so lucky to have an uncle woggzeh! I'm pretty excited about it.
What else, Work has been slow but the big contracts are about to start so good moolah is on it's way.
Sunday I wen't out for the football and well a 4pm kick off reulted in me staying out all day and getting rather drunk, but I had monday off, so that was ok.
I got the Johnny Arrow and the cheap day returns album through the post today, just had a listen and first impressions are good, so I'll have another listen later and try and change that opinion, however I think the free badges will sway me to tell you all that it's awesome and you should run to your local music shop and buy a copy, not sure how much it'll be but if you can wait a couple of weeks it'll be in the bargain bin, or you can just download it for free, (sorry Johnny Arrow)
Wimbledon started on monday and got rained off, Tim 'the cunt' Henman won his first round match, I was so dissapointed I love it when he goes out, so next round will be his demise. The other wanker we pin our hopes on is that jumped up scottish moron, Andy Murray, I hate that fucker, he'll be going out soon too. My money is on Federer and Maria Sharapova (but I have a crush on her so I have to back her, otherwise she'll tell me off, haha)
that'll do for this update, short and sweet, (like me)
I promise I'll update quite soon,
take care people
Uncle Woggzeh signing off!
Huge fantastic news from the Woggzeh camp is that my sister is Pregnant and I'm gonna be an uncle, that kids gonna be so lucky to have an uncle woggzeh! I'm pretty excited about it.
What else, Work has been slow but the big contracts are about to start so good moolah is on it's way.
Sunday I wen't out for the football and well a 4pm kick off reulted in me staying out all day and getting rather drunk, but I had monday off, so that was ok.
I got the Johnny Arrow and the cheap day returns album through the post today, just had a listen and first impressions are good, so I'll have another listen later and try and change that opinion, however I think the free badges will sway me to tell you all that it's awesome and you should run to your local music shop and buy a copy, not sure how much it'll be but if you can wait a couple of weeks it'll be in the bargain bin, or you can just download it for free, (sorry Johnny Arrow)
Wimbledon started on monday and got rained off, Tim 'the cunt' Henman won his first round match, I was so dissapointed I love it when he goes out, so next round will be his demise. The other wanker we pin our hopes on is that jumped up scottish moron, Andy Murray, I hate that fucker, he'll be going out soon too. My money is on Federer and Maria Sharapova (but I have a crush on her so I have to back her, otherwise she'll tell me off, haha)
that'll do for this update, short and sweet, (like me)
I promise I'll update quite soon,
take care people
Uncle Woggzeh signing off!
Monday, June 12, 2006
It's coming home, It's coming home, It's coming, Footballs coming home
Hey people, It's finally arrived after much waiting and promises made it's finally arrived, yes I'm talking about the rain. It's been so fucking hot here that I thought I would melt, I've even got my shorts on which is a sure sign that the weather is getting hot, you don't need a weather man, you don't need a temperature gauge, just have a look and see if Woggzeh has his shorts on and you'll know that its officially, 'too fucking hot' Don't get me wrong I like nice weather but with nice weather comes things like bugs, having to have your window open all night and in my particular case a fucking wood pigeon that likes to 'coo fucking coo' from 04:30 every morning, I tell you, if I had a shot gun it would be pigeon pie for dinner!
The other major news this week is the start of the World Cup which England will either win or get knocked out of, I can guarantee you that one of those things will happen, so if you fancy a flutter then get a bet on at the bookies.
I have been watching some war films on the telebox recently and I have come to the decision that the second world war was won single handedly by Sir John Mills, the man is a fucking legend, If it hadn't been for him we could all be speaking German!
not much else has been going on recently, I recently bought a first edition copy of the Bible signed by Jesus Christ himself, I think it'll be worth a shitload of money, I paid 10p for it at a jumble sale.
well I'll sign off now, sorry it's such a short update but I'm gonna go outside and enjoy the rain, I might do that scene from the Shawshank Redemption where Andy Dufresne escapes and stands in the rain holding his arms towards the sky as the rain pours and the lightening....erm....Lightens(?) but then again I might not, I'll probably get wet then get pissed off and sulk.
Lightening Flashes!!! that's what lightening does, not lightens, but fuck it I can't be arsed changing it because I'm lazy.
Take care people
The other major news this week is the start of the World Cup which England will either win or get knocked out of, I can guarantee you that one of those things will happen, so if you fancy a flutter then get a bet on at the bookies.
I have been watching some war films on the telebox recently and I have come to the decision that the second world war was won single handedly by Sir John Mills, the man is a fucking legend, If it hadn't been for him we could all be speaking German!
not much else has been going on recently, I recently bought a first edition copy of the Bible signed by Jesus Christ himself, I think it'll be worth a shitload of money, I paid 10p for it at a jumble sale.
well I'll sign off now, sorry it's such a short update but I'm gonna go outside and enjoy the rain, I might do that scene from the Shawshank Redemption where Andy Dufresne escapes and stands in the rain holding his arms towards the sky as the rain pours and the lightening....erm....Lightens(?) but then again I might not, I'll probably get wet then get pissed off and sulk.
Lightening Flashes!!! that's what lightening does, not lightens, but fuck it I can't be arsed changing it because I'm lazy.
Take care people
Sunday, June 04, 2006
You live you learn, you love you learn, You cry you learn, you lose you learn, You bleed you learn, you scream you learn.
Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored, I've had a headache for about a million years now and yesterday I was really pooly and spent most of the day in bed but then arose at 8pm and went to the pub, but I still felt like shit so I went home early, except, because I had been in fucking bed all day, I still felt rotton but couldn't sleep so I just fucking layed (sp) in bed staring at the ceiling with a thumping headache, bad guts and getting more and more annoyed, so I got up at around 4am, fuck all on the tv so I ended up watching the tele adverts for some step arobics crap that I wouldn't buy and I certainly wouldn't advise anyone to watch for any amount of time, Anyway I felt abit better by 7am and some good stuff was on tv, (trans world sport, DIY shows etc etc) So I made some breakfast and sat down to watch then around 11 am I went to bed, fell asleep but was rudely awoken by the shrieks and screams that haunt anyone who wants to sleep all day, that sound being childrens laughter!! I fucking hate it.
So I'm up now and I still have a headache, I can't be bothered to make anything to eat, I don't know whats happening to me it's like the life has drained out of me, Spare me the pain give me tranquility, oh lord, but I guess my feeble ramblings of self sympathy and generally a damn good moan will have to suffice in what is fast becoming a shit weekend.
I believe it is Jofs birthday around this time so I would like to take the time to wish him a happy birthday and if I'm late in posting the birthday wishes then I'm sorry mate, but I'm poorly!! If I'm too early with the birthday wishes then come back and read this message on your birthday.
Am I a grumpy bastard or do I have justification? maybe I should try to mellow out.
Can't be arsed to write anymore, I couldn't be arsed with this update but I knew I could get a few lines out and that should keep some of the people happy.
Take care people, send me your sympathys, I'll continue my scorn.
So I'm up now and I still have a headache, I can't be bothered to make anything to eat, I don't know whats happening to me it's like the life has drained out of me, Spare me the pain give me tranquility, oh lord, but I guess my feeble ramblings of self sympathy and generally a damn good moan will have to suffice in what is fast becoming a shit weekend.
I believe it is Jofs birthday around this time so I would like to take the time to wish him a happy birthday and if I'm late in posting the birthday wishes then I'm sorry mate, but I'm poorly!! If I'm too early with the birthday wishes then come back and read this message on your birthday.
Am I a grumpy bastard or do I have justification? maybe I should try to mellow out.
Can't be arsed to write anymore, I couldn't be arsed with this update but I knew I could get a few lines out and that should keep some of the people happy.
Take care people, send me your sympathys, I'll continue my scorn.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Stranded at the drive in, Branded a fool, What will they say, Monday at school.
Hello people, I was getting alot of earache from you lot for an update so, here it is:
First things first the winner of the 'spot the song' competition was, as I expected, Johnny Arrow, He was the first to get all the correct answers and I was inundated with literally one answer sheet, so the prize giving ceremony shall begin:
Joff you win a bag of sweets, a free chord sequence made up by me, and a lifetimes supply of air, (terms and conditions apply and is not available in the Republic Of Ireland) also if you are lucky I might even buy you a pint. I thank you all for entering and I'll be planning a new competition in a few years. ( can you guess the song for todays update? this is tricky but you should get it)
The big news of the week is that Trellys baby cat, Patch, has had 3 little baby kittens, they were born around Midnight on wednesday night (thursday morning) and they are cute as fuck, obviously it will be much better when I can play with them but I am content with looking at them at the moment and listening to them squeak. So well done Patch for having kittens.
Other news this week, (shit this is getting like the headlines on the BBC) is that a crazed gunman locked himself in a house on woodfield drive and there was an armed siege for 15 hours until the police arrested the guy. Crazy shit, I mean, this kind of thing doesn't happen in Harrogate, it just doesn't.
So what have I been upto, well truth be told, not alot, I've not had alot of work on and next week looks like we have nothing on either which sucks because I need the cash, I'm skint at the moment too and I hate having time off when I'm too skint to do anything! grr stupid stupid.
After having a conversation with Jof earlier in the week I realised that I am the only person who, when I have a boiled egg I cut my toast up into soldiers and then divide them into ranks, I am really the only person to do this?
I'm not gonna write anymore because quite frankly I'm bored and I wanna go watch television, but theres fuck all on, so I'm gonna go sit on the sofa and channel hop and sulk, and then I'll probably make a big sammidge and not want to eat it once I've made it. I know the pattern it happens alot.
Well take care people. Chat to you soon.
First things first the winner of the 'spot the song' competition was, as I expected, Johnny Arrow, He was the first to get all the correct answers and I was inundated with literally one answer sheet, so the prize giving ceremony shall begin:
Joff you win a bag of sweets, a free chord sequence made up by me, and a lifetimes supply of air, (terms and conditions apply and is not available in the Republic Of Ireland) also if you are lucky I might even buy you a pint. I thank you all for entering and I'll be planning a new competition in a few years. ( can you guess the song for todays update? this is tricky but you should get it)
The big news of the week is that Trellys baby cat, Patch, has had 3 little baby kittens, they were born around Midnight on wednesday night (thursday morning) and they are cute as fuck, obviously it will be much better when I can play with them but I am content with looking at them at the moment and listening to them squeak. So well done Patch for having kittens.
Other news this week, (shit this is getting like the headlines on the BBC) is that a crazed gunman locked himself in a house on woodfield drive and there was an armed siege for 15 hours until the police arrested the guy. Crazy shit, I mean, this kind of thing doesn't happen in Harrogate, it just doesn't.
So what have I been upto, well truth be told, not alot, I've not had alot of work on and next week looks like we have nothing on either which sucks because I need the cash, I'm skint at the moment too and I hate having time off when I'm too skint to do anything! grr stupid stupid.
After having a conversation with Jof earlier in the week I realised that I am the only person who, when I have a boiled egg I cut my toast up into soldiers and then divide them into ranks, I am really the only person to do this?
I'm not gonna write anymore because quite frankly I'm bored and I wanna go watch television, but theres fuck all on, so I'm gonna go sit on the sofa and channel hop and sulk, and then I'll probably make a big sammidge and not want to eat it once I've made it. I know the pattern it happens alot.
Well take care people. Chat to you soon.
Monday, May 08, 2006
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell, I know right now you can't tell, But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see, A different side of me.
Well people, sorry it's been so long for an update, I've been doing stuff, I also promised loads of people that an update would be forthcoming and it has not been forthcoming, or even fifthcoming for that matter, however, it is here now and where ever you are reading this blog ( my guess is that you are reading it on the internet) give out a little cheer that there is an update.
So what has happend since we last spoke? I've had an ear infection and my dad had an ear infection, that was mad, I had a bloody great pain down the side of my face and I couldn't hear out of my ear and I got giddy too, which was fun for about 5 seconds then it got fucking annoying, especially when I am 30 foot up a scaffold!! It has all cleared up now and I'm back to full health, (well a good as I can be, I still have hay fever and kidney pains, but everyone gets that, right?) Hey, I read in the paper that a cure for curing hayfever is kissing passionately for 30 minutes, now don't all rush at once, ladies only need apply, but I fancy giving it ago. I've also got my own ideas to try out, but I'll get you to sign a contract before disclosing what these ideas entail.
So I've been out most of this weekend, went to watch the first leg of the play offs on friday, it was Leeds utd versus Preston both ends, It wasn't a bad match and I think the result was fair, the second leg is tonight and in all honesty, Leeds really have their work cut out if they want to make the final, but hey, why do I give a fuck, I'm a Villa fan, I have enough to worry about. So We watched the game on friday then went down to the Crabtrees and sank a few beers before heading onto Cardinal Sins where there was a 'rock night' I brought some rather intersting rocks that I found in my garden only to find out that it was a rock music night, so I felt like a twat, but I still had fun all the same, went to asda on the way home and got a chicken sammidge, tasty tuck.
Saturday was a pretty dull day, I played my guitar and spoke to people around the world on the interweb, I spoke to Eva, who I think still reads this blog, and she showed me her drawings, and they are fantstic, if not inspired by a crazy mind, I even think we had a conversation about peeling onions while stand on your head upside down in a bath of water. Honestly Eva is as crazy as a coconut, which is why I get on so well with her.
Saturday night I went out with Trel, Dave and Hannah (sorry for not updating Hannah, I know I promised, but tough) and the usual happend, we drank we got merry and we walked home!!! It was raining and Dave and Hannah walked home with us instead of getting a taxi, which was cool, except Dave moaned all the way home and Hannah had to tell him to stop whinging but thats Dave for ya. Sunday was typical sunday, except I went to a party in the evening at Norah and Bryans gaff, it was cool Mr McParty was there as the 'entertainment' I use the word entertainment very lightly as he spent most of the night just taking words that I had said and telling them back to me using the sentence 'you're a ....(what ever word he decided to use)' but then that is what McParty is like and he wore a big funky straw hat so all is forgiven, when the party was over me and McParty went on our way home but not before stopping at the swings on Roberts Crescent and drank some beers that we got from the party which was kind of strange as it reminded me of when I was 15 again except this time I didn't piss in the empty bottle of beer and give it to someone to drink, (hahahahaha, that was so funny, you should have been there)
It's my mums birthday tomorrow, she doesn't read this blog but I still want to give her a shout, so Happy Birthday Mum, I've still got to get a card,
I dunno what I'm getting upto this week, I should be finishing in Preston then I think I have a job in Liverpool and then a job starting in Leyland (not far from Preston) so hopefully I will have plenty of work on and make plenty of money.
So that will do for now, take care people, leave a comment, tell me you love me.
If you get bored you can go through my old post titles and play a game, most of the titles are popular lines from songs that I like, if you get bored then go through them and write down singer and song, the first person to get them right wins a prize, (I'm actually expecting 1 person to be bored enough to try this game, Yes, you Johnny Arrow)
Oh well, You can't say I don't try to keep you busy and entertained.
So what has happend since we last spoke? I've had an ear infection and my dad had an ear infection, that was mad, I had a bloody great pain down the side of my face and I couldn't hear out of my ear and I got giddy too, which was fun for about 5 seconds then it got fucking annoying, especially when I am 30 foot up a scaffold!! It has all cleared up now and I'm back to full health, (well a good as I can be, I still have hay fever and kidney pains, but everyone gets that, right?) Hey, I read in the paper that a cure for curing hayfever is kissing passionately for 30 minutes, now don't all rush at once, ladies only need apply, but I fancy giving it ago. I've also got my own ideas to try out, but I'll get you to sign a contract before disclosing what these ideas entail.
So I've been out most of this weekend, went to watch the first leg of the play offs on friday, it was Leeds utd versus Preston both ends, It wasn't a bad match and I think the result was fair, the second leg is tonight and in all honesty, Leeds really have their work cut out if they want to make the final, but hey, why do I give a fuck, I'm a Villa fan, I have enough to worry about. So We watched the game on friday then went down to the Crabtrees and sank a few beers before heading onto Cardinal Sins where there was a 'rock night' I brought some rather intersting rocks that I found in my garden only to find out that it was a rock music night, so I felt like a twat, but I still had fun all the same, went to asda on the way home and got a chicken sammidge, tasty tuck.
Saturday was a pretty dull day, I played my guitar and spoke to people around the world on the interweb, I spoke to Eva, who I think still reads this blog, and she showed me her drawings, and they are fantstic, if not inspired by a crazy mind, I even think we had a conversation about peeling onions while stand on your head upside down in a bath of water. Honestly Eva is as crazy as a coconut, which is why I get on so well with her.
Saturday night I went out with Trel, Dave and Hannah (sorry for not updating Hannah, I know I promised, but tough) and the usual happend, we drank we got merry and we walked home!!! It was raining and Dave and Hannah walked home with us instead of getting a taxi, which was cool, except Dave moaned all the way home and Hannah had to tell him to stop whinging but thats Dave for ya. Sunday was typical sunday, except I went to a party in the evening at Norah and Bryans gaff, it was cool Mr McParty was there as the 'entertainment' I use the word entertainment very lightly as he spent most of the night just taking words that I had said and telling them back to me using the sentence 'you're a ....(what ever word he decided to use)' but then that is what McParty is like and he wore a big funky straw hat so all is forgiven, when the party was over me and McParty went on our way home but not before stopping at the swings on Roberts Crescent and drank some beers that we got from the party which was kind of strange as it reminded me of when I was 15 again except this time I didn't piss in the empty bottle of beer and give it to someone to drink, (hahahahaha, that was so funny, you should have been there)
It's my mums birthday tomorrow, she doesn't read this blog but I still want to give her a shout, so Happy Birthday Mum, I've still got to get a card,
I dunno what I'm getting upto this week, I should be finishing in Preston then I think I have a job in Liverpool and then a job starting in Leyland (not far from Preston) so hopefully I will have plenty of work on and make plenty of money.
So that will do for now, take care people, leave a comment, tell me you love me.
If you get bored you can go through my old post titles and play a game, most of the titles are popular lines from songs that I like, if you get bored then go through them and write down singer and song, the first person to get them right wins a prize, (I'm actually expecting 1 person to be bored enough to try this game, Yes, you Johnny Arrow)
Oh well, You can't say I don't try to keep you busy and entertained.
Friday, April 21, 2006
First time that I saw you girl I knew that I just had to make you mine, But it's so hard to talk to you with fella's hanging round you all the time.
Well Fucking Fuck with a capital F, I just updated for you lot and the blog didn't post and now it's lost 'somewhere' in the interweb, I'm fucking annoyed now, but I'm gonna calm down, I'll post a picture of shooter as I've just learned that I can put pictures on my blog, thats me at the front squatting. It's about 8 years old, but I haven't changed much (Ok I've changed alot, but fuck it, I like the picture).
I'll update when I feel happier, you can start asking for updates in the comments now, I'm kinda missing all the feedback.
Oh and for fucks sake now the fucking picture is at the top of the page and not the bottom, Fuck this fucking shit!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
What a beautiful day, I'm the king of all time, And nothing is impossible, In my all powerful mind.
Fuck me, you lot are a right bunch of moaning minnies, It's MY blog and I'll update when I fucking well feel like it, So stop moaning, I could update daily if you want, but it'll read something like this:
Got up, then I had a cup of tea and went to work, did some work, came home, had a good shit, had my tea, went out, then I came home and went to bed. Repeat same process for 5 days (mon-fri). I can do that if you want or I can save up some stuff and tell you about it now and again, if something exciting happens then I'll update immediately and you can all know about it, but as it is, stop your moaning or I'll not write anything ever again and let that be a lesson to you!
So since we last spoke Dave has returned from Australia,(hoorah) Lee is stilll in Australia though (hoorah, no, sorry Lee, we all miss you) so last weekend was great, went out on the piss with Dave and his lady friend (Hannah, she's larvely, and not shy about telling me to shut up!)
Dave has turned into abit of a pansy since going down under, for example he can't drink much anymore, I'm sure it's just a technical problem but it needs sorting, fast!
so yeah, the weekend was pretty much a booze filled weekend, (for me anyway) then I've been working in Preston on the new Police building, it's quite a good contract so it's a pity that it'll be finished sometime next week; The shite contracts last forever, cest la
Got up, then I had a cup of tea and went to work, did some work, came home, had a good shit, had my tea, went out, then I came home and went to bed. Repeat same process for 5 days (mon-fri). I can do that if you want or I can save up some stuff and tell you about it now and again, if something exciting happens then I'll update immediately and you can all know about it, but as it is, stop your moaning or I'll not write anything ever again and let that be a lesson to you!
So since we last spoke Dave has returned from Australia,(hoorah) Lee is stilll in Australia though (hoorah, no, sorry Lee, we all miss you) so last weekend was great, went out on the piss with Dave and his lady friend (Hannah, she's larvely, and not shy about telling me to shut up!)
Dave has turned into abit of a pansy since going down under, for example he can't drink much anymore, I'm sure it's just a technical problem but it needs sorting, fast!
so yeah, the weekend was pretty much a booze filled weekend, (for me anyway) then I've been working in Preston on the new Police building, it's quite a good contract so it's a pity that it'll be finished sometime next week; The shite contracts last forever, cest la