Monday, February 09, 2009
On days like these when skies are blue and fields are green I look around and think about what might have been .......
Hello
So I thought I'd write a little something to update you on my condition, because I know you are all worried sick.
I went to see my consultant on Thursday and he was really impressed with my blood test results, which show that I am getting better at an extremely impressive speed, although I am still very anaemic but I should get over that in a couple of months, I'm still having lots of pains in and around my stomach which are normal apparently, and it is possible that where my pancreas used to be there are now lots of cysts growing, (cysts being the doctors word so he doesn't panic you into the fact you might have cancer) most of the cysts are benign, but it's always best to keep a close check on these things, they can also prove fatal if they grow too big and explode, so best have that checked, I'm going for an ultra scan sometime soon, I'll let you know the results.
The consultant also reiterated how close I came to dying, and told me that when he first saw me he was extremely worried, what with the pancreitis and jaundice and massive amounts of blood coming from the places that you shouldn't be losing blood from, he showed me his original notes and had written "N.M.H" which stands for "Not Much Hope" [for survival] so basically I was on morphene to keep me comfortable during what was expected to be my last few days alive, I was supposed to be in Intensive Care too, but they didn't have any beds spare, so I was in the nice ward with all the other nutters (the bloke opposite me had an imaginary dog that slept under his bed).
So close to death and yet I survived, I suppose I should actualy do something with my life now, I can't drink alcohol, and I thought that'd be for a year or so, but I've been reading up on my condition, (Severe Acute Pancreatitis) and there is a good chance I'll get it again, and other people have said, "I had my first alcoholic drink 3 years after suffering pancreatitis and a couple of days later I was back in hospital with it" so I think I'm fucked forever on that one, never mind, it's only alcohol, it's not worth dying over, although I don't get why alcohol is singled out as I'm allowed fizzy pop! I can't eat fatty foods because I can't digest it, I have some pills to help aid digestion (called Creon) but they make me poorly so I can't take them, apparently, I will be able to eat most foods withing 12-24 months. I can't eat spicy foods, so no curries, which makes me sad, but I did buy a Chicken and Mushroom pot noodle the other day with the thought in my head that if that makes me feel poorly then I may as well buy myself an 8 pack of beer, because life isn't worth living, luckily I ate the pot noodle and felt fine, well I say fine, I feel bloated and horrible for an hour or so after everything I eat (even a cup of tea makes me feel a bit poorly because of the milk), this is supposedly normal, but can also be blamed on the cysts that could be growing inside me and putting pressure on my stomach.
So basically, I'll probably live, but I'm still fucked, I've a long way to go and am still in constant pain, which the doctor can't do much about, I've been taken off the mega pain killers because too many are not good for you and have to take paracetamol for any pain now, which does help a little, I've stopped losing weight as rapidly as I was doing, (lost 2 stone in a month) but I'm not putting any weight on, which the doctor wants me to do.
Anyway, I think that brings us up to date (ish). I hope you are all well and good, speak to you soon.
Woggzeh.
So I thought I'd write a little something to update you on my condition, because I know you are all worried sick.
I went to see my consultant on Thursday and he was really impressed with my blood test results, which show that I am getting better at an extremely impressive speed, although I am still very anaemic but I should get over that in a couple of months, I'm still having lots of pains in and around my stomach which are normal apparently, and it is possible that where my pancreas used to be there are now lots of cysts growing, (cysts being the doctors word so he doesn't panic you into the fact you might have cancer) most of the cysts are benign, but it's always best to keep a close check on these things, they can also prove fatal if they grow too big and explode, so best have that checked, I'm going for an ultra scan sometime soon, I'll let you know the results.
The consultant also reiterated how close I came to dying, and told me that when he first saw me he was extremely worried, what with the pancreitis and jaundice and massive amounts of blood coming from the places that you shouldn't be losing blood from, he showed me his original notes and had written "N.M.H" which stands for "Not Much Hope" [for survival] so basically I was on morphene to keep me comfortable during what was expected to be my last few days alive, I was supposed to be in Intensive Care too, but they didn't have any beds spare, so I was in the nice ward with all the other nutters (the bloke opposite me had an imaginary dog that slept under his bed).
So close to death and yet I survived, I suppose I should actualy do something with my life now, I can't drink alcohol, and I thought that'd be for a year or so, but I've been reading up on my condition, (Severe Acute Pancreatitis) and there is a good chance I'll get it again, and other people have said, "I had my first alcoholic drink 3 years after suffering pancreatitis and a couple of days later I was back in hospital with it" so I think I'm fucked forever on that one, never mind, it's only alcohol, it's not worth dying over, although I don't get why alcohol is singled out as I'm allowed fizzy pop! I can't eat fatty foods because I can't digest it, I have some pills to help aid digestion (called Creon) but they make me poorly so I can't take them, apparently, I will be able to eat most foods withing 12-24 months. I can't eat spicy foods, so no curries, which makes me sad, but I did buy a Chicken and Mushroom pot noodle the other day with the thought in my head that if that makes me feel poorly then I may as well buy myself an 8 pack of beer, because life isn't worth living, luckily I ate the pot noodle and felt fine, well I say fine, I feel bloated and horrible for an hour or so after everything I eat (even a cup of tea makes me feel a bit poorly because of the milk), this is supposedly normal, but can also be blamed on the cysts that could be growing inside me and putting pressure on my stomach.
So basically, I'll probably live, but I'm still fucked, I've a long way to go and am still in constant pain, which the doctor can't do much about, I've been taken off the mega pain killers because too many are not good for you and have to take paracetamol for any pain now, which does help a little, I've stopped losing weight as rapidly as I was doing, (lost 2 stone in a month) but I'm not putting any weight on, which the doctor wants me to do.
Anyway, I think that brings us up to date (ish). I hope you are all well and good, speak to you soon.
Woggzeh.
