Woggzeh's World

Hello people of the world.
We are finally here the last ever Woggzeh's World blog, so without further ado, let's crack on.
So we are in that uneasy week between Christmas and New Year, I don't know what it is but it's always a bit of a wasted week, most of the time you don't know what day it is or what to do, some people are back at work but don't know why and can't be bothered, but all of us are starting to wonder what the fuck we have eaten or drunk to make us feel so shitty, I know what I'm talking about too because I have constant tummy ache and I have no appetite but I know I have to eat something or I'll be sick and if I eat something then I'll probably be sick, it's a gasto-something but I think it comes from too many pickled onions and gherkins or chocolate or, I don't know some fucking muck that you've thrown down your neck because 'it was there'.
So did you all have a nice Christmas? I had a good time, Chris Barker was back in town and so I went out with him and the rest of the gang, Bullough was over from Leeds too so that was ace.
We went to the Old Bell Tavern ( a pub which I hate because all the beer they serve is crap) so after a few pints some of us left and went to Spoonies where I saw loads of people I know and gave the usual pleasantries, I also saw Andy Chiu which was great, he's all well and good, then we went to Monteys to meet up with the ponces who stayed in the Old Bell Tavern ("you know this was the first pub to ban smoking, rah rah rah, aren't we amazing, look at me drink my fucking nonce drink out of a vase") Bullough was dragged off home early, but the rest of us stayed to see the midnight hour and sing and dance to Christmas tunes, and Fiona even hugged me and agreed to put things behind us, so that's nice.
Christmas day was mental, my niece was round and she had shitloads of presents, I got socks and pants and a few John Grisham books that I had asked for, but Abigail got everything and more, and she was really cool about it too, she would open a present and then play with it, or if it was a book, she wanted you to read it to her before she opened the next present which I thought was cool, needless to say, she was still opening presents on boxing day!
The next few days have just trundled along, eating and drinking and slightly panicking about what to do for New Years Eve, as nobody has any plans (or money) so I'm pretty sure it'll be a jaunt round Harrogate, same old same old, "happy new year, I'm bored, let's go home." Maybe it'll be a great new year, but somehow I doubt it.
I always get the trots for new year too, I guess it's all the food (again, I've not stopped eating pickled stuff) and usually for Christmas I ask for some immodium because I don't want to get to 11:59:48 seconds on new years eve and turn to Trelly and scream, "ME GUTS!!!!" and then turn white and start sweating and stand bolt upright with my arse cheeks clenched so tight I could crack walnuts between them as the countdown for new year starts "Ten" tears running down my face "Nine" Grimmacing "Eight" holding my stomach "Seven" praying, "Six" Breathing heavy, "Five" panic, "Four" hopping from foot to foot "Three" denial, 'no no no' "Two...One.. Happy New Year" as everyone starts jumping and whooping and hugging, the pains go and I feel relief because I've managed to hold it in, this happens every year, and I still don't know why I go out and play the "will I/wont I, shit meself game" every fucking year, but there we are, I do and I don't. (if you get what I mean)
Well I think that'll do, that brings us up to date, Jof has started msn-ing me, it's been lovely talking to you all over the last two and three quarter years, but it's time to go, move on to pastures new, so all the best for 2009 everybody, I hope it's better than 2008.

Woggzeh

There's nothing more Christmassy than a bit of Porn.... (click thumbnail for full size)




Hello people, Merry Christmas and all that jazz, I hope you are all well and good and..and...and, well and, without further ado, lets proceed to the now annual event that is the Woggzeh's World Christmas Awards 2008, roll out the red carpets, put on your glad rags, get a drink and sit yourself down because the first award is:

Best Independant Blog 2008:

This award naturally goes to Joffers blog "Arrow Towers" it no longer gets updated but he won the award back in March when he wrote this " How I know Colin Mills" it was well written, totally brilliant and it was about my favourite subject, so well done Joffrey you are our fisrt award winner.

Best Blog Of The Year 2008:

This award, like last years award goes to the briliantly miserable Charlie Brooker, his blog "Comment is Free" is fantastic as is his other blog, "Screenburn" his hatred towards the world and anyone in it makes compelling reading every Monday and Saturday.

Best Columnist of the Year 2008:

This goes to Piers Morgan, most people ahte the bloke but I fucking love him, he's honest, he's a c**t and you know where you stand with him, shake his hand and he'll shake yours, talk to him kindly and he'll be kind back, slag him off and you'll taste his venom, simple as that. The sad part of this award is that you need to get the Mail on Sunday to read his column/diary in Live magazine, but his sport blog is available online.

(softcore) Pornstar of the year 2008:

Alexandra Simwise should have won this award last year but I didn't have a sofcore/hardcore event, so I just went with the first girl I could remember, anyway, I've felt bad about that decision ever since and so here is her award, (if she wants to come and collect it then that'll be acers) you can also read her blog and look at her pictures if you go to her myspace page.
I'd love her to get Myspace and Facebook mixed up so she sends me an invite to "come on myface"

(Hardcore) Pornstar Of The Year 2008:

I couldn't actually think of anyone deserving, so I'm going to double up this award and make it a Lifetime achievement award aswell, and so it goes to Silvia Saint, (picture is safe for work), although she retired from porn in 2001, she is still fucking ace!

Best Comedy Television Show Of The Year 2008:

Sadly this year the award goes to an American sit-com that I've been watching for a couple of years now and I still find it hilarious, week in week out, it's called "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" it's about 4 friends, Charlie, Mac, Dennis and Dee, who run a bar and are the most stupid fuckers every to walk the Earth, great writing, well acted and well worth a looksie.

Best Television Drama Of The Year 2008:

Another non-English winner, this award goes to "Underbelly", the Australian gangster show based on true events, it was fan-fucking-tastic and I urge you all to watch it if you get the opportunity, everyone loves a gangster film, so go watch this 13 part series.

Film Of The Year 2008:

Everyone will disagree with this, but it's my award ceremony so I can do it, so I'm going to award this to "In Bruges" a film with Colin Farrel and Brendan Gleeson and it's just brilliant, so go watch it, because if I write about it, then I might spoil it, but Midgets are fucking funny!

Place of the Year 2008:

PRAGUE! Enough said.

Well that brings us to the end of the Woggzeh's World Christmas Awards 2008, I hope you all have a great Christmas and I'll be back next Sunday with the final ever Woggzeh's Blog.

take care, and I'll leave you with another Christmas picture:

Hello, sorry it's late, but I've been so poorly that I actually died, went to heaven, caused too much trouble that I got sent to hell, caused too much trouble there and got sent back to Earth as a miracle survivor of the 'illness'.
So how are you all? if you are well then pat yourself on the back.
If you have done all your Christmas shopping then pat yourself on the back also, I've not done any yet and I'm going up to town later with my twenty pound note and going to try do the lot, I'm also hoping for a Greggs B.L.T because I've not had one in years and they are fucking tasty, in fact I might start with one of them, pointless shopping on an empty stomach, so that leaves me with about £17.50 to buy presents, Woolworth vouchers are out the question this year but I might pop in and see what they have left, hopefully some popuri, or if worst comes to worst I can buy some cheap perfume and some pencil shavings.
I had a crazy dream and I don't know if I heard this story some place or my mind made it up, so maybe you can help, it's about Barry the brown nosed reindeer and basically he runs directly behind Rudolph but he's a bit faster than old red nose so when Rudolph stops suddenly, poor old Barry goes crashing up Rudolphs arese and earning himself a brown nose, does that ring a bell to anyone?
So on Saturday I went across to Morley to Bulloughs Xmas party (if anyone can explain why it cost me £5.20 to get from Harrogate to Morley but £7.50 to get from Morley to Harrogate then I'd apreciate an answer)
it was a good party, Hannah put some food on which was very nice and I like nibbles alot, they are quick easy and you can eat shit loads, I was actually wolfing the sprouts more than anything, (they later came back to haunt me, bad smells) but they were there to be eaten and I hate seeing a good sprout go to waste, People arrived and people left, we played a game called Buzz, which involves being fastest to answer the questions, it was a pretty stupid game because everyone else had obviously played it before and knew the answers, so I came second in both the games I played, but I'm claiming a moral victory because I've never played before so I couldn't cheat.
I kipped on the sofa which was a very comfy nights sleep, and it was amazing at soaking up my urine after an accident (kidding), in the morning I had to get the train home and I had to sit backwards on the fucking train, now I hate going backwards it always makes me feel shitty and this ride was no exception, luckily I got to Harrogate before doing a technicolour yawn all over the carriage, I walked home from town and phoned Jof because I had money on my phone, like in the way if you give an alcoholic money he'll go buy alcohol or give money to a drug addict he'll go buy drugs, put money on my phone and I'll invariably ring Jof, strange.
I arrived home and felt abit shitty, I'd had a cold and a bit of a cough for a couple of days, so I guessed it was all related, I went upstairs and threw my guts up, I got a right nasty headache and had a cold sweat, I went to sleep for a few hours then got up and I wished I hadn't, I had ear ache, headache, cough, cold, I was freezing but roasting, I wasn't a well boy, my headache was a weird one too, I would cough then get this excruciating pain in my head that was very similar to the migraines I used to suffer as a boy, but I would cough and the headache would last about 15 minutes then go and then about an hour later I would cough again and repeat the process, the worst one was just before Top Gear, I actually fell to my knees rolled in a little ball and cried in pain, I also had a nosebleed from it, such was the pressure in my head, which panicked me into thinking I had a tumour, anyway, I don't (at least I hope I don't), I went to bed at 10:30pm and slept until 2pm Monday, which is not like me, I gradually got better during Monday and I feel right as rain now, but it was possibly the worst virus I've ever had, So watch out if you start getting a sore throat, cough, ear ache and a headache, just go to bed, go to sleep and wait for death.

NEXT WEEK ON WOGGZEH'S WORLD.........It's the Woggzeh's World Blog Awards 2008, if you feel you have some candidates you'd like to see get a mention or be in contention of winning, then let me know before next Saturday, when the votes will be counted and verified.

Woggzeh

Hey peeps

Muchos apologies about not blogging last week but I was water ski-ing in Corsica and left my laptop in my hotel room only to find that when I went to write my blog the battery had died and I had left the charger at home, so there we are, it had nothing to do with not being bothered to write a blog update, it's just that I was away.
So last night I saw a fantastic boxing match between Carl Froch and Jean Pascal, our boy (Froch) won and took the WBC super middleweight title, it was one hell of a scrap, both fighters trading blows at a ratio of 1:1, good stuff indeed.
My dog seems to have tooth ache (along with everything else wrong with it, it's basically ready for the knackers yard) and so she kept me awake nearly all night by whining and it's really loud and I felt so bad for the poor thing, still I eventually nodded off sometime around 7am.
Jof was pissed off with my blog post on Friday, so much so in fact that he called it 'the worst blog ever' well I am sorry for that but I was really happy with it and I had loads of fun researching all the big gangster dudes, so six of one half a dozen of the other, I liked it you loathed it, my blog, my rules!!!
Jof however did suggest to me on Friday to do some creative writing this weekend and I took his advice, I was going to continue with my story about Robert McGuinness, but then realised that I already had most of that planned out, but can't seem to make to links between characters and essential stuff that helps the story along, I'm actually stuck in a rut with it and so I'm hiding from it till I feel brave enough to return to it, so I decided to start writing a 'diary of a mob member' kind of like the secret diary of a call girl but with a dude who is pretty high up in the Mafia and writing about his experiences, I'm not sure how it's going to go but it's alot easier that writing a story, I'll let you all know when I start to post it.
I watched the new James Bond film last night and it was a bit meh, the action scenes were sublime but the story was wank and stupid, so I suggest that if you are not a Bond fan then don't bother with the film.
Jofs gig last week went down a storm apparently and I was very impressed that he was reviewed in the NME too, and they said it was 'a very good set by an unkown band in these parts' So well done Joffrey good luck with your next gig supporting the Rolling Stones.
I'm sure I had some more things to mention, but I can't for the life of me think what it is.
So that'll have to do you.

Take care.

Woggzeh

Something a bit different, I've just finished watching the excellent Australian gangster show Underbelly and decided to look up the real people the show was about and here are my results, this is more for my own entertainment than yours (Trelly will be interested too)
I've done the real life person and the actor and where possible a link to the persons wikipedia page (click the persons name)


Steven Owen played by Rodger Corser



Alphonse Gangitano played by Vince Colosimo



Carl Williams played by Gyton Grantley



Roberta Williams played by Kat Stewart



Jason Moran played by Les Hill



Mark Moran played by Callan Mulvey



Lewis Moran played by Kevin Harrington



Andrew 'Benji' Veniamin played by Damian Walshe-Howling



Lewis Caine played by Marcus Graham



Mario Condello played by Martin Sacks



Dino Dibra played by Daniel Amalm



Graham 'The Munster' Kinniburgh played by Gerard Kennedy



And here is a picture of Carl Williams at the funeral of Andrew 'Benji' Veniamin.