Friday, March 29, 2013
Londinium - March 25th - 28th 2013
Two weeks ago today, I decided to go to London to see my good friend Lindsay. I had promised to go down since she got to the UK (She is Australian and is here on a 2 year visa). She has visited Harrogate twice now so it was only fair that I went down there.
I don't mind admitting that going to "The big smoke" absolutely terrified me, There are too many people, too much traffic, the underground.......I was sure I would get mugged and lost and end up homeless and living on the streets - such is how my mind works - You have to remember that I am a small town boy. The nearest city to me is Leeds and I have only been there less than 20 times in my 32 years of existence on this planet.
So, I booked a return ticket from National Express for £31.10 and told Lindsay that I was coming down and that if she didn't meet me at Victoria coach station on Monday at 14:40 then I would get lost and end up crying and living on the streets.
I got the bus in Harrogate at 09:30. I was well chuffed because I had a double seat all to myself, The seats have a little plug socket too so I didn't have to worry about my tablet running out of juice while watching one of the 8 million films I put on it. I spread myself out, had my bag in the seat next to me and was settled for the 5 and a bit hour trip (I still have dread at the thought of being cooked up on a non-stop bus journey for that long). Then we got to Leeds..............
The bus filled up and reluctantly I let a fat woman sit next to me. The woman took great pleasure in reading my facebook/text messages every time I took my phone out of my pocket. It got really annoying. I (we) watched some stuff on my tablet, I kind of wished that I had some hardcore porn that I could have played to make her fuck off, but I didn't have any.
Anyway, I got to Milton Keynes and there is a driver change and I get a text message from Lindsay telling me that she has to start work early and can't meet me at Victoria, Get a taxi to her pub.
Fear and dread fill my senses because she hasn't told me the name or address of her pub. I start to think that she has stitched me up and I won't see her all week. But then she texts me the address and I relax again.
I get to Victoria and jump in a cab, the driver doesn't know the pub but knows the Brompton road in 'Saaarf Ken' and so we set off.
The hour glass pub is really easy to find and so was Lindsay, the pub is tiny and there were only a couple of customers drinking. Lindsay ran from behind the bar and gave me a huge hug, (I needed a hug) I had a couple of glasses of coke and chatted to Linds while she worked, she was working 'till 11pm so there wasn't going to be much for me to do.
I decided to go for a walk and found Harrods. I walked in, then walked out.
In the opposite direction to Harrods is the Victoria & Albert museum. So I had a little walk around there. I got lost after a while and had to ask a security man the way out, I was tired after my long trip and wasn't really paying much attention. Next door to the V & A is the Natural History museum and the Science museum. I decided to leave these for another day because Lindsay wanted to see the exhibits as well. So I decided to make my way back to the pub. I figured it would be easier to go a different route back and promptly got lost.
I eventually made my way back to the pub where I had food and a shit-load of Becks Blue. Time flew and after meeting all of Lindsay's work mates and locals (I think Lindsay was as excited to see me as I was to see her because she introduced me to everyone - even people she didn't know) it was finally time to go to her place, which meant negotiating the underground.
Linds had got me an Oyster card and guided me through a network of tunnels and escalators and we got the train to her place, she introduced me to a homeless guy who she talks to near the station and then a short walk to her house. I think I fell asleep as soon as I got to her place.
I woke up quite early on the Tuesday and made Lindsay get up (not as easy as you might imagine).
We got the underground to Oxford street and walked for ages up Oxford street, went in Selfridges - where they don't sell fridges - and down Bond street and Tottenham new road and eventually found the British Museum.
Lindsay was super excited about this, explaining that it has been a dream of hers to go there since she was a little girl.
I don't really know where to start in regards telling you about the British Museum and maybe I shouldn't because I could never do it justice, it was amazing. We spent about 3 hours there and had to stop for coffee, we were both a little jaded after viewing so much stuff. I think it's one of those things where you need a day to view it all but should split it into a couple of days.
After the museum we went for lunch and then a little bit of shopping before getting the train to the Embankment. Lindsay had got tickets to see "Spamalot - The Monty Python musical. The Playhouse theatre is literally 30 seconds from the train station but Lindsay took us the wrong way and we ended up by the Savoy hotel. I had to use google maps and got us to the theatre in time.
Spamalot was hilarious, it is based on the Holy Grail and has all the brilliant lines from the film, "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries" "I fart in your general direction" and so many others, plus some great Montey Python sketches like the fish slapping dance and "Always look on the bright side of life".
I laughed my head off and I think Lindsay enjoyed it too, she was laughing along like a goodun.
After the show we went back to her place where we sat up talking and Lindsay got a little drunk.
After such a brilliant day on Tuesday I figured that Wednesday would pale in comparison. We got breakfast at Lindsay's old local pub in Acton called the Windmill. I had a huge full English and then we set off for the Natural History Museum.
It was pretty cool and I really liked the dinosaurs. Lindsay likes pushing buttons and opening boxes so she had a great time too.
Then we went to the science museum, which in all honesty was a bit shit after all the stuff we had seen previously, luckily there was lots of buttons and stuff to press so Lindsay didn't get bored.
After a quick drink in the Hour Glass we couldn't decide where to eat so I suggested we go to the supermarket for supplies and I would cook her a meal - as a thank you for everything she had done. So we got steak and all the trimmings, I cooked it all up - I did rather well considering Lindsay only has one frying pan, one saucepan, one plate and one set of cutlery. We ate like kings and then sat up until the small hours talking and laughing - I don't know if she is mental of just being polite or whether she genuinely thinks I am funny because Lindsay laughs at everything, even my jokes!!!
Thursday morning was a sombre affair, Lindsay didn't want to get up because she was hungover and I didn't want to get up because I didn't want to come home. I had such a great time in an amazing city and with a great tour guide and an even better friend in Lindsay that I just didn't want to leave.
Lindsay took me back to the coach station where I gave her a big hug and did my best not to cry and then she left - probably glad to be rid of me - I got on the coach where there was a problem, it seems that they had over-booked it, so there was a delay in setting off.
The return journey was long and boring and I felt a little heart broken all the way home.
London, after all my fears and doubts, took my breath away in a way that I could never have predicted. I want to return right now. I want to go do all the things I didn't get time to do, I want to go back to the British Museum and I want to go see Lindsay. She just made it all so much fun and I doubt I would have enjoyed it half as much without her.
I will be back!
Thank you London, Thank you Lindsay Hyles. Thank you dear reader.
Woggzeh.
I don't mind admitting that going to "The big smoke" absolutely terrified me, There are too many people, too much traffic, the underground.......I was sure I would get mugged and lost and end up homeless and living on the streets - such is how my mind works - You have to remember that I am a small town boy. The nearest city to me is Leeds and I have only been there less than 20 times in my 32 years of existence on this planet.
So, I booked a return ticket from National Express for £31.10 and told Lindsay that I was coming down and that if she didn't meet me at Victoria coach station on Monday at 14:40 then I would get lost and end up crying and living on the streets.
I got the bus in Harrogate at 09:30. I was well chuffed because I had a double seat all to myself, The seats have a little plug socket too so I didn't have to worry about my tablet running out of juice while watching one of the 8 million films I put on it. I spread myself out, had my bag in the seat next to me and was settled for the 5 and a bit hour trip (I still have dread at the thought of being cooked up on a non-stop bus journey for that long). Then we got to Leeds..............
The bus filled up and reluctantly I let a fat woman sit next to me. The woman took great pleasure in reading my facebook/text messages every time I took my phone out of my pocket. It got really annoying. I (we) watched some stuff on my tablet, I kind of wished that I had some hardcore porn that I could have played to make her fuck off, but I didn't have any.
Anyway, I got to Milton Keynes and there is a driver change and I get a text message from Lindsay telling me that she has to start work early and can't meet me at Victoria, Get a taxi to her pub.
Fear and dread fill my senses because she hasn't told me the name or address of her pub. I start to think that she has stitched me up and I won't see her all week. But then she texts me the address and I relax again.
I get to Victoria and jump in a cab, the driver doesn't know the pub but knows the Brompton road in 'Saaarf Ken' and so we set off.
The hour glass pub is really easy to find and so was Lindsay, the pub is tiny and there were only a couple of customers drinking. Lindsay ran from behind the bar and gave me a huge hug, (I needed a hug) I had a couple of glasses of coke and chatted to Linds while she worked, she was working 'till 11pm so there wasn't going to be much for me to do.
I decided to go for a walk and found Harrods. I walked in, then walked out.
In the opposite direction to Harrods is the Victoria & Albert museum. So I had a little walk around there. I got lost after a while and had to ask a security man the way out, I was tired after my long trip and wasn't really paying much attention. Next door to the V & A is the Natural History museum and the Science museum. I decided to leave these for another day because Lindsay wanted to see the exhibits as well. So I decided to make my way back to the pub. I figured it would be easier to go a different route back and promptly got lost.
I eventually made my way back to the pub where I had food and a shit-load of Becks Blue. Time flew and after meeting all of Lindsay's work mates and locals (I think Lindsay was as excited to see me as I was to see her because she introduced me to everyone - even people she didn't know) it was finally time to go to her place, which meant negotiating the underground.
Linds had got me an Oyster card and guided me through a network of tunnels and escalators and we got the train to her place, she introduced me to a homeless guy who she talks to near the station and then a short walk to her house. I think I fell asleep as soon as I got to her place.
I woke up quite early on the Tuesday and made Lindsay get up (not as easy as you might imagine).
We got the underground to Oxford street and walked for ages up Oxford street, went in Selfridges - where they don't sell fridges - and down Bond street and Tottenham new road and eventually found the British Museum.
Lindsay was super excited about this, explaining that it has been a dream of hers to go there since she was a little girl.
I don't really know where to start in regards telling you about the British Museum and maybe I shouldn't because I could never do it justice, it was amazing. We spent about 3 hours there and had to stop for coffee, we were both a little jaded after viewing so much stuff. I think it's one of those things where you need a day to view it all but should split it into a couple of days.
After the museum we went for lunch and then a little bit of shopping before getting the train to the Embankment. Lindsay had got tickets to see "Spamalot - The Monty Python musical. The Playhouse theatre is literally 30 seconds from the train station but Lindsay took us the wrong way and we ended up by the Savoy hotel. I had to use google maps and got us to the theatre in time.
Spamalot was hilarious, it is based on the Holy Grail and has all the brilliant lines from the film, "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries" "I fart in your general direction" and so many others, plus some great Montey Python sketches like the fish slapping dance and "Always look on the bright side of life".
I laughed my head off and I think Lindsay enjoyed it too, she was laughing along like a goodun.
After the show we went back to her place where we sat up talking and Lindsay got a little drunk.
After such a brilliant day on Tuesday I figured that Wednesday would pale in comparison. We got breakfast at Lindsay's old local pub in Acton called the Windmill. I had a huge full English and then we set off for the Natural History Museum.
It was pretty cool and I really liked the dinosaurs. Lindsay likes pushing buttons and opening boxes so she had a great time too.
Then we went to the science museum, which in all honesty was a bit shit after all the stuff we had seen previously, luckily there was lots of buttons and stuff to press so Lindsay didn't get bored.
After a quick drink in the Hour Glass we couldn't decide where to eat so I suggested we go to the supermarket for supplies and I would cook her a meal - as a thank you for everything she had done. So we got steak and all the trimmings, I cooked it all up - I did rather well considering Lindsay only has one frying pan, one saucepan, one plate and one set of cutlery. We ate like kings and then sat up until the small hours talking and laughing - I don't know if she is mental of just being polite or whether she genuinely thinks I am funny because Lindsay laughs at everything, even my jokes!!!
Thursday morning was a sombre affair, Lindsay didn't want to get up because she was hungover and I didn't want to get up because I didn't want to come home. I had such a great time in an amazing city and with a great tour guide and an even better friend in Lindsay that I just didn't want to leave.
Lindsay took me back to the coach station where I gave her a big hug and did my best not to cry and then she left - probably glad to be rid of me - I got on the coach where there was a problem, it seems that they had over-booked it, so there was a delay in setting off.
The return journey was long and boring and I felt a little heart broken all the way home.
London, after all my fears and doubts, took my breath away in a way that I could never have predicted. I want to return right now. I want to go do all the things I didn't get time to do, I want to go back to the British Museum and I want to go see Lindsay. She just made it all so much fun and I doubt I would have enjoyed it half as much without her.
I will be back!
Thank you London, Thank you Lindsay Hyles. Thank you dear reader.
Woggzeh.
