Woggzeh's World

Just got back from the camping trip, I've had the obligatory shit and shower and now I'm updating just for you, you lucky people.

Friday:

I got up at 7am because I had to make a c.d so we had some music to listen to on our journey, I always do the best music so I always get asked to do that task.
Robin picked me up at about ten past nine, his car was already jammed with his and Matt's gear, which was crazy because we had to pick up Trelly after me, so we ended up rammed in the back of the car with bags and chairs and sleeping mats carefully positioned around us.
The drive to Coniston was typical of any drive to anywhere, I will mention that we saw roadkill, and there were still disputes this morning over what was dead, I reckon it was a dog that had been ripped in half, (tasted like dog).
Arrived at Coniston hall and Robin went to book in when Steve phoned us asking where we were, he had arrived literally minutes before us, so we all met up and looked for a decent place to pitch our tents. Eventually we settled on a hilly bit, As soon as we got our tents out of the car the bloody wind started up, I'm not kidding you, it was almost a tornado, once again I was the returning champion and got my tent up first, but not without a little help from Trelly, Steve and Trelly got their tents up and we cracked open a beer and watched Robin and Matt struggle with their mansion in the wind, about an hour later they were finished and joined us in the drinketh of the beerses.
It started pissing down really heavily so we all piled into Robin's tent and watched a DVD, blades of Steel, which was quite funny, Steve built a stone circle outside of out tents to ward off the rain and please the gods, it fucking worked too!
Plenty of beer later and a pasta meal, we were bored of waiting for Bullough's party so at about 7:30 we set off for the pub, (not forgetting that we were mostly all pissed by now) on our way there, we met Bullough's party and gave them bad instructions as to where we were camped, (yeah, you know the fork in the road, well, we're on the left abit further on, the one where my tent is pitched).
we left them because we were thirsty and sauntered to the pub, typically the prices were extortionate (ranged from £2.70 a pint to £3.00)we hit the Ship Inn first then went to the Yewdale and the Crown where we were joined by Bullough, Han, Scott and Justine, we all drank and got merry, we flipped beer mats, Trelly managed to flip one mat 18 times in a row (world record) and I managed to flip a stack of 19 cards (world record), I think Hannah may have beaten my record but she's a girl and so her effort doesn't count!
The pubs stopped serving at 11pm so we had to stagger home (totally pissed), We sat and chatted for a bit then one by one we turned in, until Steve was the only one awake, so he had some milk and apple pies.

Saturday:

I awoke at about 8am and felt fucking great, so I tried to sleep abit more but got bored so I got up, woke everyone else up, made sure everyone was out of their tents then promptly went back to bed nursing a late hangover (I fucking hate those sneaky bastard hangovers that get you like 30 minutes after you get up and think everything is fine), needless to say everyone was pissed off at me, but fuck you all!
About elevenish we took a drive to Tarn Hows, we had a nice walk round and saw some crazy unidentifiable creature that kept surfacing then submerging from the lake, scary! Rob and Matt got and ice cream on the way back to the car, we then had a discussion about, "strawberry's or raspberry's, Which do you prefer?" Everyone except Trelly were wrong in their opinions that Strawberry's were better, I hang around with such morons!
We then went for a drive up some pass, where the road was as wide as a small car and all the corners are blind, there are very few passing places and is a fucking scary drive, made even scarier when some cunt brought his caravan, clearly ignoring the signs that read, "not suitable for caravans", we had to edge the car to the side of the road and nearly went down the sheer face of cliff, this was a dangerous moment, and Steve managed to sum up all our fears by farting (which was the foulest smell I'd ever smelt), We eventually came away with our lives and car in tact, so we set off back to the camp site, I bought a B.L.T. because I had tummy ache, sorted that out!
When we got back, Trelly and myself went looking for this fucking pier that Trel has been banging on about for months, we walked and walked but didn't find it, I say that scornfully, but it wasn't a bad walk, the weather was good and we had some nice views of the surrounding mountains (They look like mountains anyway).
Got back and Bulloughs party had all packed up and were almost ready for home, Hannah whined that she was tired and missed her bed, so everyone was off home, (news for ya Han, that's camping, you don't go camping to feel refreshed at the end of it, you go for the experience) Dave danced like a cunt! He asked me if I would put it in my blog so I said yeah and hey ho, there it was, your moment in history, The party were ready to set off home, Bullough couldn't hide his disapointment at leaving but kept smiling anyway, we bid them farewell and cracked open some beers.
Afer eating and chilling we went to the pub again, Ship Inn, then onto the Yewdale where it soon became evident that Robin was shitfaced! He was also very loud, Trel and me had to keep going outside for fear of getting our heads kicked in, we managed to convince Rob to get some food, so he went to the takeaway for chips and curry sauce, we went to the Black Bull, had a pint, ate about 5 bags of crisps then had to get back to our tents, with Robin "foghorn" Cook, We made it back and Robin and Matt went to bed, Me Steve and Trel sat up and had a beer, we went to the toilets and Steve had this great idea of getting into the girls toilets involving me acting as Steve's retarded brother, it was hysterical at the time but the one that nearly made me sick with laughter was Steve's suggestion to just go in, kick the door open, point and say, "I can see your fanny", not so funny in print on this blog, but Steve's silly voices and actions made the moment, pant wettingly funny. We got back and decided to turn in, Steve once again wasn't ready for bed so he cooked a tin of hot dog sausages in his tent.

Sunday:

Got up at 8am, I felt fantastic, the weather was scorching hot (typical) got everyone else up, and started packing my gear away (no hangover today, yeah baby). We packed the car, said goodbye to Steve and went to Ambleside for breakfast at Daisy's, I ordered, Sausage, egg, bacon, hash browns and mushrooms with a cup of tea, it came to £5.70, (thieving twats), the woman taking our order was a right moody bitch too! once brekkers was consumed and Trelly had managed to not regurgitate his breakfast all over me, we got back in the car for the journey home.

Woggzeh.